Notes: Karen starts to wonder if she's truly good at anything.
The next day, Karen was now back at home with her family and she wasn't answering any phone calls from her siblings. The only person who she would really talk to is her mother but it would be one-worded conversations coming from Karen.
"Karen you can't keep giving your siblings the silent treatment." Matti told her daughter who was just listening to her over the phone.
"Girl are you listening to me?!" Matti lightly hollered at her knowing that Karen was being hard-headed.
"Yes, mama I'm sorry but y'all really wouldn't let me just throw it away and let it be done with?!" Karen said still not understanding why they needed the clothes when they had the underground shed that she was being held in against her will.
"Because Karen that's definite proof that he did it other than Nikki being the physical evidence in the flesh but you know how the law can be." Matti said reminding her daughter and Karen just frustratedly ran her hair through her hands.
"Fine." Karen said as she was lightly huffing.
She couldn't believe that her mother was actually making sense.
"You can't punish your siblings for what Greg did to you that's not fair Karen especially not when they've changed and they're trying to help you. Don't re-invite that anger back into you." Matti told her and Karen just shook her head okay over the phone hearing her mother being right once again.
"I'm sorry." Karen quietly said feeling like that little girl again. "I know baby it's alright you still trying too. So, we're not mad at ya we just want you to get better okay?" Matti told her and Karen agreed with her mother again.
"Mama love you okay?" Matti told her and Karen just said okay saying that she had loved her mama back.
After that was over Karen just sat in her bed as she had continued thinking about how her siblings were far better off than she was when it had came to their careers. She had always wanted to be like them but she just couldn't compete.
Even when she was younger she always had hope that things were going to get better for her as an adult but those hopes had turned into failures.
She couldn't even do the basic thing which was go to school like everyone else did and that had started to make her feel bad again.
So, she just took some time for a moment to think about what she was good at but it was hard for her. She was so sure that she didn't have any qualifiable skill sets that could at least get her a decent paying job.
"I'll never be anything." Karen said to herself out loud shaking her head seeing how at least her two oldest daughters were making it.
"I can't even get my GED without struggling." Karen said hating herself for it.
"What do I do?!" Karen asked herself just taking the day to think about what she could do for a living since singing was most definitely out of the question now and she was taking a break from getting her GED since her self-confidence was knocked down once again.
But when she couldn't think of anything she just went to sleep knowing that Ki and J.Drew was sleeping in their cribs taking their naps and she had decided to take one right along with them.
It was a few hours later when Drew had finally came home from work and he seen that his wife was asleep and he had went downstairs just to start cooking dinner knowing that Karen was probably exhausted after what Dorinda had told him since she wasn't answering anybody's phone calls after she had left.
But when she had finally woke up the same thought was running through her mind again as she was having self-doubts.
"Drew?!" Karen said hearing her husbands footsteps come through the doors of there room.
"Yess honey?" He had asked her.
"Drew am I good at anything?" Karen had asked him and she had, had this real serious look on her face and Drew knew that she wasn't playing.
"What do you mean?" He asked his wife confused at the question.
"Am I good at anything?" Karen asked him again.
"Like am I good at anything besides you know using my body?!" Karen nervously asked him biting her lip and Drew felt bad for his wife not knowing what to say to her at first because he could tell that her self-esteem was getting low again after they had worked so hard at building it back up when she had finally escaped from being with Big J so, he knew that they had some more work to do in therapy.
"Karen you you're so much more than just your body." Drew told her.
"Like what because I couldn't even get my high school degree and I'm struggling with getting my GED and done say it's the babies because even before I got pregnant and had them I was still struggling." Karen told him.
And so, Drew was a tad bit stunned as he pursed his lips and thought about what his wife was good at.
"Karen have you really been sitting here all day thinking about what you're good at?" Drew asked her. "Pretty much besides watching the babies." Karen told him.
"Karen do you know how smart you are?!" Drew said and Karen let out an audible groan as if she was annoyed as almost as if she didn't believe it.
"Drew I can't be that smart if I'm still stuck in the same position that I was when I had came back home." Karen told him.
"Karen what did we talk about in therapy?" Drew said asking his wife that question.
But Karen had just stared at him.
"Karen." Drew said calling his wife's name again knowing that she knew.
And, Karen just groaned.
"Fine. Negativity." Karen said.
"Doing what with negativity?!" Drew told her.
"Speaking it over ourselves." Karen said looking down at the ground.
But Drew had gently lifted his wife's chin up with his finger giving her an innocent kiss on the lips which was a quick peck.
"Like I said before you're so much more than your body. You have the beauty, the brains, you're patient with people and very forgiving of them." Drew told her.
"You've forgiven people that did the unthinkable to you and a lot of people wouldn't do that. You're good at having a good heart. You make sure that others are taken care of before you are, you protect others when no one else really even protected you." Drew told her.
"Drew that's nice of you to say but I meant like skill sets?" Karen told him.
And, Drew lightly tilted his head at his wife.
"Karen those qualities can turn into skill sets everybody gotta start somewhere." Drew told her.
"I mean you could very well sing but you won't do that because of how much your father had ruined that for you but we understand that you may want to do something else outside of singing now because of that." He told her.
"But other than that you gotta stop saying what you can't do. Because you can do all things through Christ." Drew told her and Karen knew he was right she was just scared of failing again.
"I guess so." Karen said finally giving in but still being very unsure of herself.
"I know so." Drew said looking at his wife in the eyes.
"But Drew are you sure you're not saying that just because I'm your wife?" Karen asked him and Drew looked at his wife.
"Karen you're just as good as your sisters and you're just as good as anybody else especially when you put your mind to something. Even if you wing it you're still good at that what you were winging." Drew told her.
"Now don't make me start doing affirmations up in here." Drew told her knowing that he will make her do those as Dr.Womack had instructed him to do whenever she was feeling that way she had decided to just shut up before he had her start saying them.
But it was too late, Drew wasn't liking how his wife was talking about herself and how she was blaming herself for what life had handed her.
"Karen I believe that one day everything is gonna all work out for us." Drew told her as he got up close to his wife hugging her.
"Come on." He said making her stand up and do the daily affirmations in the mirror because he couldn't stand seeing his wife be so hard on herself for something she couldn't control.
"Drewww." Karen whined not doing the affirmations.
"No come on let's do it. We both gonna do it together okay?!" He told her knowing that his wife had needed it and she had needed his support to get through them because sometimes Karen would start crying through them because it was hard for her to believe that about herself sometimes even if it was good and true.
So, here she was trying not to start crying already and they didn't even start yet.
"Come on it's okay." He told her wiping her tears for her and kissing her forehead as he made her turn around to look at herself in the mirror and he started it off waiting for her to either repeat what he said or say it with him.
Notes:
What did y'all think about this chapter?
What did y'all think about Karen not wanting to talk to her siblings since they had to turn the clothes into the police station?
What did y'all think about Karen thinking that she really wasn't good at anything?
What did y'all think about Drew?
Thoughts or Comments?
Thanks for reading!