Happy women's day <3
Iris
Emma called Harry daddy last night for the first time ever. He was so excited that he couldn't sleep. His excitement became anxiety rather soon and he asked me about a million questions about parenting. I told him that he is a good father, even though he didn't know that he is one. He ordered a couple of books last night. He wants to read them so he can be perfect.
He told me about his father last night. I knew the story but it is the first time he talked to me that open about him. Joe, his father, left his mother as soon as Harry was born. He only saw him on Christmas. Joe wasn't there on his birthdays, on his school plays, on his big X factor audition. He was absent. He only remembered his son when his name became known, when he became part of this pop culture and he is going to be written in the future history books. Joe tried to reconcile with Harry, but Harry didn't want that.
I hold him close to me last night as he left his silent whimpers. He told me that he wants to be there for Emma, that he wants to be the father he never had. Then proceeded to explain to me that after this leg of the tour in Australia he isn't going back on touring. He is going to take a break so he can enjoy his time with us. He asked me to go with him, but before I can answer he told me that I can't put my life and our daughter's life on hold because his job is fucked up. I tried to tell him that I'll do my best to be there for him and that Emma would appreciate that as well.
The morning found us still cuddling. His head is still on my chest and he is breathing slowly. He has a smile on his face and I think that I know what caused it.
The door opens wide and a sleepy Emma comes inside. She is holding Mr Bunny on her right hand. I can see that behind her is Oliver, following her and protecting her. He is so gentle with my little human and that makes me love this dog more.
"Good morning Mumma." She tells me and then she helps herself to get to our bed.
"Good morning, Ems. We have to be quiet, we don't want daddy to wake up." I tell her and she nods. She lays on Harry's side of the bed and puts her tiny hand in his stomach. She falls asleep faster than ever and I just stay there looking at the two of them.
They are the most precious people I have in my life and the fact that Harry sees Emma as his own makes me so happy. I wanted them to have a good relationship from the start but I didn't expect that 10 months after I got into that relationship my daughter would feel this safe with Harry to call him her daddy.
He took our family as it is and made it his own. He didn't look at how damaged we are, he loves us exactly like that. And he says that he's never going to change that. I hope so.
The way he treats Emma has the butterflies in my stomach explode. I hope that we will a baby soon. When I learned that I was pregnant the first time, I made a promise to myself to never have another kid. But now, now I want more. I want Harry to be a father of two, to help me take care of our newborn as he does with our Emma. I want to have more kids with him, because he is the best dad. Even though he didn't use the dad term, he was one from the very start. That's why Emma feels comfortable and calls him Daddy now.
I bet that my sister is going to lose her mind tomorrow. We agreed that we are going to tell them all together on dinner. I hope that Emma doesn't destroy that plan. Tonya will be so excited, she always told me that Harry's a dad and Emma would confirm that soon. She did. She said that name and Harry has been tearing up every time he thinks about it.
Harry starts to move but his movements stop as soon as he opens his eyes and he sees Emma's tiny body cuddling him. "When did little honey come here?" He asks me whispering.
"It's been an hour I think." I reply at the same tone. "Can you take your hands off of me? I want to pee badly but I didn't want to wake you up." I tell him and he laughs at my words. His movements wake Emma up. She rubs his eyes and she smiles at us.
"Good morning daddy, good morning mumma."
"Good morning, honey. Cuddle daddy a little." I tell her and Harry laughs a little. I immediately stand up from the bed and I go to the ensuite bathroom. As soon as I am done, I go back straight to bed. Today is the last day we will be alone, before the house is filled with people with love. Harry has his back against the wall behind our bed and Emma is on top of him, hugging him and telling him about the dream she had last night. Harry is listening to her carefully.
"Is it time for affirmations? Daddy told me that he is going to make pancakes before you woke up, isn't that exciting, honey?" I ask Emma. Harry shakes his head and he is ready to disagree but as soon as Emma speaks he forgets all of the objections he had to my sentence.
"Yes mumma, thank you daddy for cooking for us."
"I'll always cook for you, little honey. Let's say our affirmations and then you have to dress up because you and mumma will take Oliver to his morning walk." I knew that he would find something for me in reprisal.
..
Christmas at our household is the happiest time of the year. Harry loves singing Christmas carols and Emma loves dancing to his singing. They even dressed Oliver this morning with his Christmas attire. We have a dog running around dressed as an elf. It is amazing seeing how done he is with his family. I bet that he wishes to let him rest a little and he even wishes to go back in time when he was living with Anne.
Harry and Emma went out shopping yesterday morning. They came back home with a couple of shopping bags. I found out that they bought matching Christmas sweaters and pajamas for the three of us. I swear that it was Harry's idea.
We woke up this morning all in our matching red pajamas. Harry was grumpy all night that I made him wear them. He usually sleeps shirtless but he had a price to pay for making me wear them as well. He took of the shirt and said that he is going to wake up really early to wear it so he can make Emma happy. He didn't do that so he ended up get an earful from her. He promised her to cook her favorite dinner in order for her to forgive him. It was so funny to watch the two of argue.
We are all in the kitchen from the morning. Harry and I insisted on cooking the dinner ourselves and not having anyone prepare it for us. We are a great team when it comes to cooking and nobody can take it away from us. Harry is such a great cook, he has picked up little recipes from all the places he has been so he knows how to cook. It's a secret habit of his.
Emma enjoys sitting with us, talking or playing with his doll or drawing. She didn't stay in the kitchen the entire time. She, also, played with Oliver and watched a little Bluey as well. Harry does whatever Emma says to him, he doesn't want to disappoint her.
I run Emma a bath as Harry took Oliver to his daily walk. I got dressed as well. I wore my black trousers and the ugly sweater because I had to match with my daughter and my boyfriend. If I had gone with them, the sweaters wouldn't be that ugly. They have a Christmas tree on them and Santa Claus is sitting a few meters away of it, they are horrific.
Harry was home on time. He dressed up and made us take a thousand photos, some with his phone and others with his camera, in order to have them printed and framed.
My mum and Anne came on time. They arrived with a difference of a couple of minutes. Tonya and Florence arrived next. They decided to drive here with their own rental car because they are going to drive to Scotland tomorrow. Gemma and Michal came last but they were the ones that laughed the most with our ugly sweaters. They knew it was Harry's idea.
"I don't know what is going on in that boy's mind some times." I tell his sister. She laughs but agrees with me. Harry is a person that you can't understand that easily.
"Everything is set. Mum, Sophie, you didn't have to bring more food you know."
"I called Anne yesterday and we decided that we wanted to bring you more food, honey. We are going to stay here for days, so don't nag." My mother says to Harry.
"I'm glad that you are going to stay here. I missed you." Harry says and hugs my mother again. They have a great relationship. It's the same as the relationship I have with his mother.
My mother adores Harry. She follows him on his social media, public and private and she even reads the stories on the news. She feels really proud with his achievements and she calls him once a week just to talk to him. She acts the same way she acts with Florence, like the two of them are also her children.
Anne is the same. She calls me once a week to talk to me and Emma, she shares with me her news and even videos she finds funny on Instagram. She always puts a smile on my face and I'm glad that she accepted me as I am, a single mother with a child. It's not always that easy, a lot of mother don't wish that for their sons. We even share parenting advice sometimes. She helps me to become better.
We all sit on the table. The dinner is served and everyone is ready to eat. Emma is sitting next to Harry and she waits patiently for him to cut her food in little bites so she can eat. Everyone is talking to each other and I feel happy that everything goes as planned. Gemma and Tonya are discussing about some psychology terms that I can't understand. Michal and Florence are talking about a movie they both recently watched and my mother and Anne are watching us silently.
"Done, little honey. You can eat now. Tell me if you want more." Harry says and leaves a kiss on Emma's head.
"Thank you, daddy." The conversations stops and suddenly all of the eyes are on us.
We have planned that we were going to tell them about that after dinner, when Emma was asleep. But my little monster had other plans.
"Why is everyone looking at us?" Emma whispers at Harry, making me laugh.
Harry, although, answers with the same tone on his voice, despite the fact that everyone can hear us. "They didn't know that you call me daddy, little honey. They are surprised."
"Oh." Emma says. "Sorry."
"Don't be, honey." I tell her. "Harry is Emma's daddy." I announce. "That's the only answer to all of your questions." I say to make my daughter's worries to go away.
My mother smiles widely and Anne is doing the same. I can't look to all of them because I know that it will make Emma feel uncomfortable. I put my daughter's comfort first and then all of the questions. I know that Tonya is going to ask when this happened, Anne and my mother are going to cry a little and Gemma will be the happiest of them all.
We all eat and pretend that it didn't happen, or to word it better, we eat like it is something common. When we end with our dinner we all go to the living room. Everyone wants to play with Emma, everyone except Anne, who is sitting at the corner of the sofa lost in her thoughts.
"I'm sleepy mumma." Emma tells me and I take her in my hug. We have just put the cookies on the plate and the milk on the glass for Santa to come.
"Let's go to bed then, who do you want to tuck you in?"
"Both of you." She says and puts her head on my shoulder. "Goodnight everyone." She says and we head to her room. I hear Harry saying to our families to wait for us.
We don't have to read a fairytale. Emma is fast asleep as soon as I put her down to her bed. Oliver is sitting at the floor in her bad and he is about to fall asleep as well. The two of them are adorable.
Harry and I walk downstairs. "They are going to ask many questions, aren't they?" He asks me.
"I'm afraid of their real reactions." I say and he holds my hand a little tighter.
"Everything will be fine."
We go straight to the living room. Anne is laughing with something that Florence told as we went in and all my anxiety goes away.
"Oh, here are the parents of the year." Tonya says and I have the desire to flip her off. For a psychologist, she really can't see that I'm anxious as hell.
We sit down on the couch and I sigh. I wanted to be the first one to speak but Harry had other plans.
"Let's start with the basics. I feel like Emma is my daughter. Iris knew it for a some time now and she didn't have any oppositions to that. We waited until Emma felt comfortable enough to say this word on her own. She did a couple of day ago and I can say to all of you that I haven't felt happier that I did that moment. I can't explain to you how happy I am." Harry says and he takes my hand in his. He intertwines our fingers and we just stay like that waiting for someone to say something.
"You can ask your questions now." I tell them and they just look at us.
"I am so happy for you, darling. I now how much you wanted that. I'll never forget the call when you confessed to me that you see Emma as your daughter." Anne stands up from her seat on the couch and she hugs both Harry and I. "You are the best parents I know. I tried not to say much in front of Emma because I knew that I would be crying."
"Mum.." Harry says but he never continues his words. He stays there, in his mother's hug. They are both crying from happiness and I feel overwhelmed as well.
"How much has he cried over this the past few days?" Gemma asks me, making Anne chuckle. She still holds Harry, who is not crying, he just enjoys the motherly affection.
"A lot, the night that happened I don't think he slept at all." I admit.
"What can I say, I just love my little girl. When you all become parents, you will understand the feeling." Harry tells us and then he stands up. "I think that it is time for some more wine. Who wants more?" He asks rhetorically and then leaves us to go to the kitchen.
Anne sits on the seat Harry was sitting moments ago. "I'm so happy for you two."
Gemma and Michal stayed for an hour more and then they left, saying that they will be here first think in the morning. They even put on the presents they bought for Emma under our try. Tonya and Florence excused themselves a little later, saying that they were pretty tired. The only ones that stayed up were the for of us.
"I'm so proud of you, Iris." My mother says out of the blue. "I never expected to see you this carefree, this happy. I'm glad you let Harry in." She continues.
Anne and Harry can't listen to us, because Harry is telling her something that happened while he was on tour. I can't believe that he is going away once our holidays are over. I hope he thinks of the role he now has on Emma's life and not let her down.
"I'm proud of me too, mum. I couldn't have done it without him being the way he is. He is so kind to me, to Emma, to you, to everyone. I love him so much."
"My sweet girl." She says and hugs me. I feel the tears to my eyes. It was supposed to be a happy night but it ended up with all of us crying.
"Iris, is everything okay?" Harry asks me. I nod.
"Take your girl to bed, honey. I bet Anne and I can tidy up the place a little." My mother tells him and Anne agrees.
Anne goes straight to my place as I stand up and she hugs me. "Thank you for making me a grandma. Thank you, Iris." She whispers and I smile in response while I hug her tighter.
Harry takes my hand and we say goodnight to our mothers. "That was something." He tells me as we wear our pajamas. No, I wear my pajama, Harry just strips out of his clothes. When we lay on the bed, he places his head on my stomach.
"That was definitely something. I love you Harry, thank you for making us happy." I tell him and he leaves a kiss on my stomach in response, making me giggle.
"I love you so much, I've never felt like that before."
"I haven't either."
...
It was so difficult to write a Christmas chapter this time of the year. It isn't as I wanted it to be but I feel happy.
Now that Little Freak (my other fanfiction) ended, I have an amazing idea about a new one but I don't know when I will publish it. I will tell you that it would be an ex to lovers and Harry will be famous to that too. It will be a little angst but it will have the things all of my books have. I love the idea so much.
Here's an excerpt: I was so in love with him. He was my twin flame, maybe not my soulmate but definitely the person I wanted to spend my life with. I loved him so much. He and I were screaming colors, when we were together all of the people around us could see that. The sky was colorful and our love could warm the coldest days, our love could grow flowers. I didn't know how much he meant to me until I lost him. Now, I had to accept that I wouldn't hear his voice ever again. I had to accept that I wouldn't feel his hands around me when I sleep at night. I had to accept that I would forget the shape of his lips.
Would you read it?
Thank you for being here. And remember, everything will be alright.