Harry
We are leaving America and Emma is so happy for that. She has missed how our life was in England and I can say that I've missed it too. We are going to spend the Christmas day in our house there and our families will come to dinner at ours. It's our first Christmas together as a family and I'm so excited. I overdid it with the presents I bought for Emma but nobody can blame me. I didn't have the chance to do it last year and now that I can do it I will.
"Harry, are we there yet?" Emma asks me and I look at her. She is sitting between Iris and I. Iris is sleeping peacefully and Emma is talking to me whispering, not wanting to wake up her mum.
"In a few hours. Do you want to sleep a little too?" I ask her.
She looks at me and shakes her head. "I can't, I want you to hug me."
"Oh, come here, little honey. We can sleep together if you want to." I tell her. She moves to my lap and places her head on my chest.
"I love you so much, Harry."
"I love you too, Emma. Go to sleep a little, little honey. I will be here when you wake up." She nods and I continue to stroke her hair so she can sleep easier.
I can't remember when I fell asleep. Emma and I slept throughout the rest of our flight. Iris is the one to wake me up and I try to do the same to Emma. "Emma, darling, you have to wake up. We will see Oliver in a little bit."
"Oliver? I missed my dog." She tells me and rubs her eyes to be fully awake. Iris and I laugh at how much she loves Oliver. Oliver is as much her dog as he is mine. She is like my daughter after all.
"Are you excited to see Oliver, darling?" Iris asks her and she nods.
"I missed him, I missed grannie Sophie and Annie too. When are they going to come home?" She asks us as I carry her outside our private plane.
"In two days, little darling. They are going to stay with us for Christmas." I inform her and her smile gets bigger. I walk down the stairs slowly and when I get off the last step I look behind me and I give my hand to Iris, because I feel like we have forgotten about her. I don't want my girl to feel ignored.
"With us? We are going to our house?" She asks and I nod. I like how she sees my houses as her home. The both of them make them feel like home. Before them they were just houses, just a cold space. Now the space is colorful, full of life. My house is finally a home and I want to spend as much time as I can there, with the two of them.
"Yes, are you excited?" Iris asks and she nods again.
"I am. But mumma does Santa knows that we are here?" Emma asks and I smile.
I answer her question. "Of course he does, little honey. He knows everything."
"How?" She's just like her mumma, she doesn't believe anything.
"I wrote him a letter."
"Thank you, Harry. Can we go to Oliver now?" She asks and I nod. She's going to forget about us as soon as she sees Oliver again.
Oliver was living with my mother this past few months. We didn't want to confuse him too much, especially now that we are going to stay in London for longer than 2 weeks. He had so much fun here, more fun than he would have in the empty house. He would spend much time along and I don't want that for him.
Gemma took Oliver from our mother's house yesterday. She said that she will be home as soon as we are so she can leave him finally with his own family. I'm sure that my dog will be fatter than he was and happier than ever to see us. I think about him often because I think that he has forgotten about me. I wish I could have him with me but it isn't always so easy to travel around the world with a dog.
I think that I will stop touring that much now that I have a family. I want to spend time with them and I want to be there for them. I don't want to miss anything, I don't want not to be there for any of Emma's big achievements. I want to be the first person, with Iris of course, that she will come to say all of her problems and worries. I want to be the dad, the father figure I never had.
Emma is a ray of sunshine, she is my ray of sunshine. Iris is the best mother that I know. She isn't any less than a father, she isn't not enough as she often thinks. Iris teaches Emma so much, not only basic stuff but life lessons. The affirmations we do every morning on the mirror, the kind words Emma says, her ideas, her opinions, everything shows how amazing Iris is as a mother.
Iris is my idol I think, my role model. She is the woman I want to spend my life with. She is someone that I admire because despite the difficulties she remains powerful. She is so full of love that her kind heart can grow flowers to the weirdest places. And I'm so glad that I can call her mine. She is mine and I'm proud of her, even if no one wants us to be together.
My fans hate her because they can't find a single bad thing about her. She has private social medias, she doesn't use Twitter and she is just like me. My previous girlfriends had told various questionable things but that's not Iris's case. They hate her because everyone loves her. Everyone that met her can only say kind words about her and I think that it gets on their nerves. It's the first time that I am sad about that. I want them to love the person that I love, the person that makes me feel loves, seen and that I have a purpose, is that so difficult?
"We are here, Mr Styles. Tomorrow morning you have the meeting with Mr Michele, as Lewis said. What time do you want me to drive you there?" My driver, Allan, asks me.
"I will go there by myself, Allan, don't worry. Thank you for driving us." I say to him. And I am the first one to get outside the car. Iris follows me and she helps Emma to get out of her seat as I take our luggage. We didn't take a lot of things with us, due to the fact that our heaviest and warmest clothes are already here. Iris and I have thought about it the last time we were in London and she moved all of their winter clothes to my house because we knew that we were going to spend the Christmas time together.
"Goodnight mister Allan." Emma says to my driver making him chuckle.
"Goodnight miss Emma." He says in the same tone and then he drives off.
I open the front door and I can already hear that my dog is here. As soon as we enter the house, Oliver is barking and running around happily. He starts crying and Emma goes to his place whispering some words to help him calm. Iris looks at me and she ready to laugh at her daughter's innocence.
"Oh, look who's here." Gemma comes out of the kitchen. "I am here a while now, I know that you are hungry so I cooked something. Also, Mary helped me to find your Christmas decorations. You have to decorate the house today." She rambles. She then proceeds to hug Emma first, then Iris and then me. "I missed you all so much."
"I missed you too. Was Oliver a good boy?"
"The best, but I can't talk much, Michal is waiting for me. We have a reservation in two hours and I don't want to lose it." She hugs Emma again and then she wears her coat and leaves the four of us alone. "Have a great night."
"Are we going to decorate the tree tonight?" Emma asks us.
"Yes, but first you have to eat all the food Gems cooked for you. I think that it is rice." Iris says.
"Okay, mumma."
"Let's go wash our hands as Harry gives Oliver his food so he can eat with us."
They go straight to the bathroom the house has downstairs and i wash my hands on the kitchen sink. Then I take Oliver's food out of the kitchen drawer and I pour some on his plate.
"I missed you, bud. I'm sorry for leaving you alone for so long. It's not going to happen ever again. We have a family now."
He licks my face like he understood what I just told him and he wants to show me that he is happy that we have two strong women in our family with us. I can't, though, apologize enough to my dog. I shouldn't have left him for so long. But, on a happier note, he hadn't forgotten about me. He remembers us all. My smart boy!
"Harry, why are you sitting on the floor?" Emma asks me. She came to the kitchen before Iris. She gives me her hand in order to help me get up.
"Thank you, little honey. I was just talking to Oliver while you were gone. I missed talking to him." I admit to my little best friend.
She nods and then looks between Oliver and I. "I know. I miss him too. I love talking to him, he always listens to me and he makes me happy."
"Me too. He is such a good friend. Like you are."
"I am your friend?" She asks me a little sad but I can't understand why my words caused her to feel that way.
"You are more than a friend to me, Emma. You are my whole world, my bestest friend. I love you, little honey. I will never get tired of reminding you that."
"I love you too. Can we eat? The tree is waiting for us." She tells me.
I help her sit on the designated seat I had for her. Her plate is in front of her but she doesn't start eating, not until her mother is sitting here on the dining table with us. Iris is raising a good one.
We eat mostly in silence. No one is talking and we just eat the food that Gemma has cooked for us. I have to ask her for the recipe the next time I see her.
I know that all of them are going to be here on Christmas eve. My mother and Sophie are going to stay here for a few more days. Tonya and Florence are staying to Tonya's mother's home, so they are going to stay here for 2 days too. On Christmas day they are going to travel to Scotland because one of their best friends is getting married on the 27th. Gemma and her boyfriend, Michal, are going to spend Christmas eve and Christmas day with us but they aren't going to stay on my house despite the invitation.
When we finish eating, Iris announces that she is going to wash the dishes and then we are going to decorate the tree. Emma is running around the house excited that Christmas is around the corner.
She reminds me every day that her favorite holiday is Christmas and she likes it because after that it is her birthday. The shock my little girl felt when I told her that we have our birthdays together. She looked at me on disbelief and asked me when my birthday is.
She then proceeded to tell me that even though we are one day apart we have to celebrate it together. To cut a long story short, we are going to have a princesses theme party on our birthday. She is so happy that she gets to spend her birthday with me. She called me a special person and I feel like it is the first time that I feel so special.
"Okay, Harry you are in charge of the music. Just please don't make us listen to River on repeat." Iris tells me when she walks in the living room. The tree is already up and it just wait us to put on the ornaments.
"Why not?"
"I listened to it non stop when a certain someone left. And last year Tonya was on her period and made us listen to it like a thousand times. I bet Emma knows the words."
"She has a taste, a good taste. That's why she is my fan."
"Harry, have you even sang a Christmas song?" Emma asks me as she watches the decorations I have from the previous years. I haven't decorated a tree on my own for years. It's the first time I do it in nearly 5 years and it feels so special.
"No, little honey. But I will sing all of the Christmas songs you want."
"Will you?" I nod.
"You know how to win her heart." Iris whispers to me and I giggle nodding. I know how to win both of them for sure.
Christmas songs and carols are playing non-stop. We are all laughing and playing with the decorations. We don't even decorate the poor tree.
"Emma, would you like to put the star on the tree?" I ask her and she holds her hands out so I can help her reach the top of the tree. I help her to situate the star better and then I take a step back to admire the finish tree.
Emma is still on my lap and I take Iris hand in mine. We all looks at the tree. Iris walks to the wall and she closes the lights so we can admire the Christian tree and its lights better.
"It's so beautiful, right little honey?" I ask Emma.
"It is, daddy." She says the word I didn't expect to hear today.
I try my best not to panic so Emma doesn't get the wrong signal, but I'm freaking out a little. Emma doesn't understand anything, Iris on the other side looks at us and smiles nodding affirmatively. She knew.
"Do you want to tuck you in?" I ask Emma after a little while. We have been sitting on the floor and just look at the tree. She hasn't said a word after calling me daddy. I am her daddy, aren't I?
"Both you and mumma." she tells me.
Iris is the first on to stand up. She takes Emma from me and she starts to walk towards Emma's room. I follow them but I can't hear what Iris is whispering to their daughter.
We do our night routine and when I finish the fairytale I was reading Emma is still wide awake.
"Harry, are you mad at me?" She asks me, saying my name this time. Iris looks at me weirdly but decides not to talk. I have to reassure my daughter that I am completely fine, just a little overwhelmed.
"What do you mean little honey?"
"I want to call you daddy, I love you like you are my daddy." Emma tells me and I think that I'm going to cry from the happiness I'm feeling.
"And I love you like you are my daughter. I want you to call me daddy, baby. I would never get mad at you about that." She nods at my words, being satisfied.
"I love you, daddy, I love you mumma. Goodnight." She says pleased with my previous answer. She sleeps in no time and Iris and I walk out of the room as silently as possible.
As soon as we are out of our daughter's room, I hug my girlfriend. "Thank you, thank you, thank you." I tell her again and again.
"Why do you thank me, babe?" She asks me, acting like she doesn't understand the reason why.
"Because I love you, and because you have given me a daughter and a family and because you make me feel seen and loved." I tell her and I continue to hug her tightly.
"You don't have to thank me, H. You are a father to her and you know it. You have given to yourself that title with your actions towards her."
A few tears are gathered to my eyes. "This was so important to me. I am a dad, Iris, a dad." I cry a little more to my girlfriend's shoulder. She laughs at my reaction but I can't stop feeling overwhelmed.
"You are a dad, Harry. And you are the best dad in the whole damn world. Your dream of being a girl dad became real." I am a girl dad, oh my god.
"Do you think that she's going to be a daddy's girl from now on?" I ask Iris making her to punch my arm slightly.
"No, I have to have an ally so I can keep on mocking you. You can't take that away from me."
I complain a little but we both know that Emma is going to be the biggest daddy's girl.
"I'm so excited to tell our families."
"How do you think that your mum is going to react?" She asks me as we lay down on the bed. I put my head on top of her stomach as she caresses my hair. I can feel her anxiety, I would be feeling the same if I was her.
"She will be so happy, she loves you two and she knows how much I love you. She will be so excited that she is going to call all of our extended family members and friends to tell them that I'm a dad." I stop a little.
"I'm a dad." I say again, whispering, mostly to myself.
Iris shared with me her family and now I am happy to say that I'm a dad finally. I'll be the best version of a father I can be, I promise that to my young self, I promise that to Emma and to Iris. I am a dad, oh my God.
...
IT HAPPENED. HOW DO YOU FEEL?
Thank you for reading my story and it have 17k reads now. Omg
I'm a little overwhelmed with the train accident that happened here in Greece a few days ago so I hope that this chapter isn't as awful as I think it is. Take care of yourselves and call your mother when you arrive to your destination (if you have a great relationship with her).
Also, I'm reading A little life right now so I try to find happiness through this little family. How can a book be that sad?
Thank you for being here,
See you soon, A <3