"Julianne Harper Thompson, you have some explaining to do," he says in a stern, no nonsense voice as he sits in a rolling chair and rolls himself over to the bed I'm at, taking my hands in his and staring hard into my soul.
I can't even speak as I take my hands out of his and pick up the Conch shell, turning it around in my hands and feeling how smooth the inside of the shell is.
"I've been around people for days...And I......" I stop talking as I bite my lip so I don't cry.
He watches me, waiting for me to continue until it's obvious that I won't. He clears his throat and his voice is more gentle.
"You spent a lot of time alone, huh?"
At my nod, his eyes soften even more. "Being around people depletes you, and you have to be alone to rejuvenate?"
When I nod again, so does he. "I'm the same way, Jules. I'm an introvert, and being around people all the time is extremely hard for me. Having you guys live with me has been an adjustment. Staying in this hotel is making me want to scream.....But sometimes we don't have a choice, and we have to suck it up."
When I stay silent, he continues. "That's why I let you walk the hotel alone.......I thought I made myself pretty clear that you were to stay inside. Why did you go outside?"
"There were adults that went out so I thought it was fine!"
He nods again and his eyes soften even more. "I want you to listen to me very carefully, and if you take NOTHING else away from this lecture, you remember this...Listening?"
"Yeah"
"Not every adult is a safe adult, Julianne. Some are stupid, some are evil, and some will only do things for their benefit. I don't care what an adult tells you to do...If they are not a safe adult, you ignore them and come find me, or someone that you trust."
"How do I know if they're safe?" I ask as I continue looking at my shell.
He is silent for a long moment as he decides how to answer me. When he finally does, his voice is shaking again like it did earlier. "Well, I don't actually know how to answer that right now. I'm still trying to prove to you that I'm a safe adult. I could give you a list of people that I trust, but that doesn't mean that you have to trust them.....I guess for right now, you listen to your gut. If something seems off, then it probably is. Did going outside seem off at all to you today?"
I shrug as I make eye contact with him again. "Maybe a little strange that only a few people went outside, and the rest stayed in."
Holden nods. "So your gut was telling you not to, and you ignored it. Always listen to your gut, Julianne. It's one of the most powerful tools of protection that you have for yourself....I don't understand why the hotel manager allowed anyone outside."
"It was a side door...No workers were around."
He's quiet as he looks out the window, his mind probably racing. When he looks at me again, I know that the talking has officially come to an end and I want to cry.
"I also told you the other day that you weren't allowed to walk to the beach without me knowing about it. You were heading straight for it, so that was a blatant disregard of that conversation. You're in big trouble, young lady."
When I stay silent, he stands up and takes the shell out of my hand, putting it gently to the side and grabbing my hand in his. "Since you watched Tate get one, do I need to explain anything?"
A simple shake of my head, and he nods and sits next to me. "Okay, let's get it over with so they can come back. They won't come until I text Nico."
I'm not sure what makes me snap...I'm not sure if it's the thought of actually getting spanked, or the idea that Tate won't magically come in and save me, but I lose my ever-loving mind.
"STAY AWAY FROM ME!" I yell as I get up and walk to the window, ignoring how shocked his face looks, or how startled he is.
"Julianne, you're not going to play this game. You are going to be punished for disobeying, and you're going to get over here now."
"NO!" I scream, and what possesses me to throw a full and opened soda at him, I'm not sure. But I do. I grab a can of Mountain Dew and throw it with all my might. He has time to block it so it doesn't smack him in the face, but it nails him in the forearm and splatters all over him and my bed.
"STAY AWAY!" I scream as I grab a lamp and rip the plug from the wall, pulling my arm back to give it a good throw...But he runs over and takes it from me before I can, and I don't have time to register when he's got me tight against him, and he's hugging me.
"Julianne....." he says with tears thick in his voice, but I don't care. I punch him in his gut, and he groans in pain. He lets me go just enough for me to get loose, and I start running for the door.
But he's too quick. He picks me up right before I reach the door and throws me over his shoulder, pinning my legs when I try to kick him. He sits down on his bed since mine is soaked, and drapes me over his lap.
"LET GO!!!" I scream as I try to thrash, but he pins me down so securely that I can't budge.
"We will talk about you hurting me later, Julianne. This is for going outside," he says in a voice I can't even recognize as his hand comes down on my bottom, and stuns me.
The sting is unlike anything I've ever felt, and nothing that I was expecting.
"OW!" I breathe as I try to thrash, but he tightens his grip around me and my body goes tighter against his stomach. He begins to spank the shit outta me, and I feel like I'm having an out-of-body experience.
And he thinks he's a safe adult?
He peppers my bottom with the heaviest smacks, and I can feel my skin burning with each blistering swat. He spanks one area three times in a row before he moves to the next, and the thin cotton shorts I'm wearing is doing NOTHING to protect me.
"Stop fighting me, Jules," he says sternly as he tips me down so my face is pressed into the comforter, and my butt is higher in the air.
And that's when I start to cry.
He hits the sensitive parts, where the crease between my butt and thighs are, and I feel as if I'm being tortured.
"Ahhhh" is all I can get out as he focuses on my thighs, and I can almost visualize how red my skin is getting.
And he wants me to trust him
He continues on for a long time, but I have no idea how long. The seconds are running together, and it feels as if I will be enduring this hell for the rest of my life.
I can't move at all, because I'm chained to him like a prisoner.
This is why I want to be alone! Nobody hurts you when you're alone. You don't have to endure hell when you're alone.
You're safe when you're alone
I don't even realize when he stops, because the pain I'm feeling is deeper than my bottom. He is such a damn liar.
No adult is safe
No one is safe
The only one I can depend on in this world is me, and everyone else can go to hell.
I might have to live with him for a few years until I turn 18, but that doesn't mean I have to love him; we just have to coexist.
I'm great at coexisting.
I've been doing it my entire life