~18~ Vulnerable

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Tate storms into the kitchen with such a look of hatred, I instinctively scoot closer to Holden.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!?!" He screams, spit flying from his parted lips.

Holden clears his throat and clasps his hands together, bringing them to his face so his thumbs can hook under his chin.

"You're grounded, so I changed the WIFI password. I'll change it back to the old one in a week when your grounding is over."

Tate's eyes bug out and his face turns red with fury. "Are you kidding me?!?!" He growls as he walks further into the kitchen.

Holden shakes his head as he watches Tate carefully.

"I was texting a friend back home, and now it won't work. What did you do to my phone?!?!"

Holden lowers his arms until they're resting casually on the table. "I shut off your phone....."

Tate's mouth drops open as he scans the tiny kitchen. He finds a paper plate with burnt pizza sitting on it that was meant for him, and throws it against the wall, smearing red sauce and black cheese down the paint.

"YOU.....I NEED MY PHONE!!!!!!!!"

Holden shakes his head as he stands up and walks over to him. "Dad's estate is still paying for your phones for now, but I have all the information. I cancelled it, and when and if you earn it back with good behavior, I'll turn it back on."

Tears fill Tate's eyes as he tries to keep his chin from quivering.

"I'm missing my friends, and now you're telling me that you're refusing to let me talk to them?"

Holden nods. "For a week, as punishment for breaking the rules......"

"I hate you so much," he growls as a tear rolls down his cheek.

"I know, but I love you. You cannot keep acting like authority doesn't apply to you."

"IT DOESN'T!" He screams as he punches the fridge.

"It does, brother. Your bedtime is now 9 pm for the rest of the week. Go to bed....I love you, and I'm sorry you've been through the shitter, but I cannot allow you to keep acting as if you're indestructible."

"I'm NOT going to bed at 9....."

Holden says nothing as he watches Tate, and Tate continues to glare at Holden.

And it's awkward

"I'll go to bed too. Come on," I say softly as I take Tate's hand and pull him until he starts to walk.

"You're not in trouble, Annie. You don't have to go to bed when he does. You still have WIFI, and a partition to separate you two," Holden yells after me.

When we get to our room, Tate paces the tiny room until I'm certain he's going to make this ratty carpet even worse.

"I hate it here," he chants over and over and over until he finally falls on his mattress and lays on his back.

I go over and lay with him, and he keeps his eyes closed as another tear falls down his cheek.

"Come on, let's go to bed," I whisper as I stand to get my pajamas on, pulling the partition for privacy. Once I'm dressed, Tate is too as he lays back down on the bed.

"I'm not letting that asshole tell me what to do," he snaps as he sits up in bed and stares at the wall.

"...but there's nothing to do......"

He looks at me and points to my computer. "We could watch Netflix...."

I shake my head. "He hasn't put the new password on my computer yet."

"This is shit, Jules," he snaps as he rolls on his side and goes to bed.

~*~

I'm asleep when I hear Tate get out of bed and walk outside to the front porch. When I hear Holden's door open and his heavy footsteps thump down the hall, I decide to snoop.

I open my window as quietly as I can, looking out and seeing Tate sitting in a chair with his feet propped up on the rotting porch.

The light from the porch shows Holden come out without a shirt and his hair already messy, even though it's only 11pm. He shuts the door and sits in the other chair, while Tate pretends like he doesn't exist.

"I think this is the first time it's just been you and me since you came to live here," Holden says softly.

"What do you want? Am I grounded from being outside?" Tate snaps as he swats at a mosquito.

"Thanks for not sneaking out tonight," Holden says as he swats at a mosquito of his own.

It's silent outside for a long moment as Tate nervously picks at a scab on his leg.

"I don't know you at all, Tate. I'm starting to learn Jules, but you're still a mystery to me and I hate it. What sports did you do back home?"

Tate turns and I expect him to verbally slam Holden, but he doesn't as he shrugs. "Doesn't matter"

"It DOES matter. You matter, even if it feels like you have no voice right now."

"Thanks, Dr. Phil," he mutters as he sets his feet down roughly.

It's quiet for a moment and I figure that one of them will come in after a second, when Holden speaks again.

"That lighthouse is pretty cool, huh?"

Tate looks over at him and Holden gives him a gentle smile.

"It's fine I guess..."

"The school is buzzing about you right now," he chuckles as he swats at another mosquito. "Dang! Is this bug zapper doing nothing?!?"

"What are you talking about?"

Holden chuckles again. "Everybody either wants to be your friend, or date you. You've made quite an impression already, brother."

Figures no one would care about me. Tate has a gravitational pull to people, and I'll never understand it

"Yeah well, it's cause I'm awesome...."

That's the first time Tate has even kinda joked around Holden, and I can tell by Holden's expression that it meant the world to him.

"Yeah....." Holden scoffs as he pulls a weed that's growing through the wooden slats and throws it at Tate.

Tate ignores it, but even in the darkness I could swear he has a tiny smirk on his lips.

"Sorry I had to come down so hard on ya," Holden says softly.

Tate ignores him as he sets his foot back on the creaking railing.

"If you give me a week, I'll give you back your phone. Can you just please try? I don't want your entire time here being us fighting. I've missed you."

Tate laughs humorlessly as he stands up and walks to the door. "When I miss someone, I text them or call...I never heard anything from you. You were supposed to take me to the Harlem Globetrotters. Remember? You promised me, and then you left....Didn't even have the decency to tell me to my face, or apologize afterward. I'll give you the damn week, but it isn't for you.. I refuse to be like you, and I have every intentions of keeping in contact with the people I had to leave."

He goes inside and shuts the door, and I see Holden put his head in hands in such a defeated and sad way, I look away and lay back down in bed.

When the door creaks open and he lays down on his bed, I could swear I hear muffled cries into his pillow.

The sadness that's coming from him lately has been completely foreign. I don't even know who this boy is right now. He's always been so tough and confident. Always had something to say in an instant.

I don't know who this is...The brother who fights tears and curls up in the fetal position.

I don't know who this scared, vulnerable kid is, and I hope he comes back soon.

Because his crying is searing at my heart, and making it impossible for me to go to sleep.

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