warnings: eating disorder, vomit
age: 16
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NATASHA's POV
"Wanda, that was amazing, thank you," I smile to my best friend. She made the whole team an amazing dinner and we've all just finished eating. She's the only one out of all of us who can really cook. We can make basic meals or follow a recipe (to an extent) but not the sort of things she can make.
"May I be excused?" Y/N asks me.
"Sure, babe. You have a math test tomorrow, you wanna go study?"
"Yeah, I will." She quickly runs off without saying anything else and I see Thor start to take her plate.
"Oh, you don't have to do that. I'll do her dishes," I tell him.
"I wasn't going to take her plate out, that's absurd," he says like it should be obvious. "I'm finishing off her food, dumbass."
"Didn't she finish it?" I question and look over to her plate. Not even half of it had been eaten.
"Maybe she didn't like it?" Wanda suggests.
"Don't be ridiculous, she loves your cooking. I'm gonna go talk to her," I announce and start making my way upstairs.
Y/N's POV
That was hell! Don't get me wrong - aunt Wanda's cooking is amazing, but I'm not sure how many calories is in it and that scares me. I've been watching what I'm eating recently and I like being able to track my calories. Harmless, right?
Only a few minutes after I've sat down at my desk to study, I hear a knock on my door.
"Come in," I tell whoever it is.
"It's me," mom says and walks in, shutting the door behind her. "Hey, honey. How you doing?" she asks and settles on my bed.
"Good. Why?" I ask and turn to face her.
"No reason. What did you think of dinner?" she questions skeptically.
"Um, it was fine." I try to act as nonchalant as possible, I don't want her worrying.
"Sweetheart, you're not... are you okay?"
"I'm good. I'm just watching what I'm eating, you know? Tryna be a little healthier," I explain.
"Oh. Okay. Just make sure you're not missing out on meals, yeah? You still need to eat." That's why I didn't mention anything.
After reassuring her I was definitely okay, she reluctantly left my room and I got ready for bed.
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"Rise and shineeee!" Mom says enthusiastically and opens up the curtains.
"Mama," I mumble sleepily.
"Come on, sunshine. Get up, you got a big test today and you need to get some food into your system before you go. I made pre-exam pancakes."
"You made pancakes?" Mom can't cook.
"Yes, believe it or not."
Not.
"Are they burnt though?"
"I... shut up. Wanda's making new ones," she says and lets out a laugh.
-
"Morning, lovey!" Aunt Wanda is way too cheerful for this time in the morning.
"Hey. These for me?" I ask, pointing to the pancakes.
"Yep. Eat up, buttercup. I have training so I'll see you later, yeah? Good luck on your math test," she says before kissing my head and leaving.
Leaving me alone with the food.
"I hope you're not thinking about skipping that."
"Mom! You made me jump," I say in displease.
"Sorry. Seriously though, eat them. I can't drop you off this morning so you're taking the bus. Have an amazing day, alright? I love you."
"Love you too, mama." I reply and pull her into a big hug.
I quickly finish off my breakfast and start gathering my things for school. As I'm walking to the bus stop, I start getting some weird thoughts. Unwanted ones.
'You ate all that?'
'Why the fuck would you have so many?'
'Don't you feel disgusting?'
I try my absolute hardest to ignore them, but they're right. I do feel disgusting. Maybe I shouldn't have eaten all of them. Oh well, I just won't eat for the rest of the day to make up for it.
-
"Y/N, are you coming for dinner or not?!" Tony shouts at me from downstairs. I'm choosing to ignore him, pretending to be asleep so they don't make me eat with them.
"Jeez, Stark, calm down. Maybe she didn't hear you," I hear my mom say to him, footsteps following shortly after. That's my cue to turn my phone off and close my eyes.
"Y/N, baby, can I come in?"
I almost reply but remember I'm supposed to be sleeping. So I say nothing.
"Love?" she asks again before the door creaks open and I feel the bed dip down beside me. "I know you're not asleep, sweetheart. Have you forgotten I'm a trained assassin? Not to mention, your mother? Nothing gets past me."
Of course she knew.
Not wanting to answer her, I simply sigh and sit up to face her.
"There you are. Everything okay, hon? You look a little run down," she asks, tucking a few loose strands of hair behind my ear.
"I'm okay. I'm tired, that's all," I lie and hope that she would just leave me alone.
"Sleepy tired or burnt out tired?" There's concern lacing her voice, and I don't want to upset her.
"Just sleepy. I'm good, I'm just gonna go to sleep, okay?"
"You don't want dinner? Did you have lunch?"
I nod my head, not wanting to worry her. "Yeah."
"Okay. Can I stay with you? Maybe cuddle you until you fall asleep?"
I mean, who could say no to that?
"Sure," I agree and shuffle over. It's not long before I'm snuggled against her with my head on her chest.
-
Four days. Four whole days of not eating. I'm pretty proud of myself, to be honest. I stepped on the scales a few days ago and I wasn't impressed with the number at all, so I decided to do something about it.
Like I said, I'm proud of myself for the self control, but some aspects of starving haven't been as great. For one, I'm hungry all the time which is just uncomfortable and two, my mood has been so insanely unpredictable. One second I'll be perfectly content, the next I'm blowing up on everyone for the smallest of things. Not to mention, I feel so weak. Training is getting harder thats for sure, and I think everyone's noticing how dizzy I get.
One slight problem though: it's Steve's birthday, which means we're currently at a restaurant for dinner. So far I've been able to use the excuse of 'I've already eaten' or 'I had a big lunch' when it comes to mealtimes, but how do I get out of this? I'm just gonna have to get rid of the food another way.
"I'm going to the bathroom, be back in a sec," I tell everyone and make my way to the bathrooms at the back of the restaurant.
NATASHA's POV
Y/N's been in the bathroom for around ten minutes now, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried. She shouldn't be taking that long and she's been acting really suspicious whilst we've been here.
"Sorry, guys, I'm gonna go find Y/N."
I stand up and start making my way towards the bathroom. I don't know what it is - but I have a horrible feeling that something's happened.
"Y/N/N?" I ask once I reach where I need to be.
There's only one cubicle door shut so that means we're alone in here.
"Y/N, babe, can you come out, please? We need to talk."
I'm met with nothing. No words. Silence. Almost. It would be silent if you didn't count the not-so-subtle gagging sounds coming from inside.
"Y/N?! Open the door, now." I'm full on panicking at this point. "Baby, please!" More gagging. "Sweetheart, stop! I'll get Wanda to unlock it with her powers if you don't open it right now!"
My threat seems to do the trick as I hear the lock click.
With a shaky hand, I waste no time in pushing open the door, only to see my daughter doubled over with her head above the toilet.
"Detka, stop it," I tell her and kneel down beside her, trying to pull her away and onto my lap. "Please, my love, you don't need to do that. Come here." Much to her disapproval, I manage to haul her onto my lap so that her head is leaning against my chest.
"Why didn't you tell me you had an eating disorder, babe? I could've helped."
Y/N's POV
An eating disorder? I don't have an eating disorder.
"What are you talking about? I don't have one of those," I question, clearly confused.
"Sweetheart... this isn't healthy."
"I'm just watching what I'm eating, it's not a big deal, mom."
Is it?