Blaze's POV
The only sound filling the white, quiet space is the dull rhythm of beeps. The only window to the side is half open only allowing a little stream of sunlight in. Snow had quickly bade goodbye upon the arrival of March but everything around me still feels cold and bleak.
The television mounted on the wall mumbles out a show into oblivion. A glass of water sits untouched on the edge of the side table overflowing with cards and flowers. Ninety percent of people this came from are strangers.
Suddenly, the beeping stops.
Everything looks and feels empty
Everything looks and feels fake
The glass of water along with the flowers and cards suddenly disappear and I jostle awake.
This is the nightmare that has been haunting me during these last two weeks. The beeping sound always stops before I wake up.
Fortunately, the real world is different and the familiar beeping invades my ears.
I move sluggishly to the bed where Belle lays looking calm and peaceful. I ran my fingers around her scalp shifting back a lock of her hair that covers her pale face. It had been two weeks since she slipped into a coma and there had been no signs of improvement.
And two weeks of asking myself the same question.
Who is Alexa Magnus?
Except this time, I am not the only one wondering that.
The two weeks had passed in a blur I still sometimes wonder if this is my nightmare.
Everything happened so fast and all at the same time, we are all left confused and disturbed
One minute, Belle is in a coma, the next, Carson's reported himself to the police for spreading nudes that were in his possession. He told the police he sent the nudes of Belle to a teacher who had requested them.
When asked how the teacher knew her nudes were with him, he said he had no idea. That, the teacher had told him to meet him in his class after school.
Carson had been baffled. The teacher didn't report him nor confiscate it. Rather, he had granted him a deal – send him the nudes and in turn, he would make sure he passed his class that Carson was greatly failing.
If not, he threatened to either report him to the authorities which could cause a strain on his records, or fail him.
Carson had accepted his deal after a few days.
In his testimony, he stated that he needed a football scholarship to his dream school and he couldn't afford to lose what he hadn't attained yet.
The teacher's name I later found out is Riz Letterman. He is a tall, lean brunette who looks to be in his early forties.
He is an English teacher at the school Carson attends and Belle used to attend.
He was called in for questioning and he denied everything adding that he needs a picture to spark his memory of who Belle is.
Carson continued to state that he was right. He didn't back down from his claim. He told the police it was time the truth came out and everyone needed to know who Riz was but unfortunately, there was no evidence to back his statement and all the charges pressed had been dropped. He had long deleted the nudes after everything had happened and Riz couldn't be searched because there was no evidence to suspect him.
I believe Carson.
Why?
I don't know but that gut feeling of fear I felt when Belle run out of the school is what I feel except this time it's not fear–it's anger.
Everything doesn't make sense–yet. The only person that can provide answers to our many questions and who can make everything right is in a comatose state.
She felt she could not share her secret with anyone and it had led her to end her life.
She was going to wake up.
When?
I couldn't answer that question but there is more she has to fulfill. The moment I recall everything to her, I feel a slight movement and it draws my attention to our hands clasped together.
Her little finger twitches, it happens only for a second and I take it as an assurance. An assurance that she is there and she's hanging on.
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March had slipped by quickly as if it only came for a visit. The flowers and cards on the side table continued to pile up.
As the days continue to fly by, the doctors tell us to have patience. Days turn to weeks and weeks turn into a month and she still isn't awake.
Every day, Lucas, Addison, and I make a point to see her. Even if it's to watch the bad shows on the hospital's cable or tell her about our day, we make it a point to see her.
During the first few weeks of her admission, I refused to leave her bedside.
School became a plague, and it still did but an earful from Stephanie and Addison had me sulking back home and taking a proper shower.
Graduation bells ring louder and most, if not everyone is submitting their last papers and college entries.
I submitted an entry to the Michigan State University on Mr. Holland's suggestion to study engineering. In the beginning, I did it to satisfy Dad, but I had a chat with Mr. Holland and I began to put more thought into it. I became interested in it.
I hadn't gotten a reply from them ever since and I had not submitted any more applications.
Anytime I think about college, the comment Belle made during our walk to the hill seeps in. The feeling of fear.
Scared of what the future holds and scared of what a future will look like without Belle.
I know she's going to wake up but what then?
What if she wakes up and still doesn't want me? What if she's not a part of my future?
For now, I decide not to think about it.
What's that adage again?
Leave the future to take care of itself.
Sometimes on my visit to the hospital, I would get a slight movement or a twitch with her eyelids telling me she is still there.
One day, she clutched onto my little finger for a second before it fell slack. I was a mixture of emotions that day.
I laughed, then cried and got angry she wasn't fully awake so I could hold her close and never let go.
I visit Stephanie and Brandon a lot these days. Exhaustion and the strain from Belle's condition are pressed on her but it never stops her from trying to wear a smile every time.
I am learning something from Brandon the more I draw close to him.
I am learning to remain strong.
On a few occasions, I meet him with Belle and he doesn't fail to keep up his arguments with her even when he knows she can't retaliate. It doesn't stop him from trying.
Carson continues to report himself to the police but since there's still no proof so he and the teacher can not be arrested.
He had been urging Addison to make me talk to him and I finally accepted.
He didn't stay long on the phone but his words did strike me into action.
"If you believe me, find evidence. Anywhere anyhow–just do"
With those words imprinted in my mind, my knuckles rap on Belle's front door.
I erase every filter of doubt telling me I am interfering the moment Stephanie opens the door.
She leads me inside and instantly, my nostril is hit with a delicious aroma wafting from the kitchen.
"I'm sorry if I'm intruding"
"You are not, I'm a little surprised though"
"I should have told you I was coming but, it was a last-minute decision"
"What's wrong? Is everything okay, Blaze?"
"I should be asking you, Stephanie. How are you?"
Her face turns dim and she begins to pull at her sleeves, an action that reminds me of Belle.
Fear sometimes does filter in when the days continually pass and Belle doesn't wake up. Will I ever get to see her deliver her sassy comments or even her little actions like twiddling her charm bracelet when she's nervous?
"I'm coping with everything that happened. Sometimes, I'm convinced that all this is a nightmare and I'll wake up to see my baby in bed”
Tears well up in her eyes and she turns away.
"After Rose...", she falters and sends me a quizzical look.
"I know about Rose"
"After Rose's death, she became so closed off and I decided it was time we move somewhere for a fresh start. It was long needed. All the numerous times she would slip into her room to avoid conversations, the way her communications with Brandon and I dwindled, her laughter quickly ceased and I told myself she was grieving, she would come to me when she was ready. She needed time"
She sighs, forcing a smile on her face, and turns to wipe her eyes.
"You'll think being a nurse, the numerous times I tell family members in this position to take heart, it'll sink in for me"
"I don't. What I think is that you did all you could do as a mother raising two children on her own and if I were to be in your position, I will not blame myself and I will not hold back my tears"
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Ten minutes later, the click on Lexi's door is heard behind me. Stephanie didn't hesitate when I asked if I could go up to Lexi's room.
She didn't ask any questions, she wiped her tears and told me to call her if I need anything, and went back to the kitchen.
Belle's room spreads out in front of me like a map waiting to be explored.
The room looks untouched, bare, and empty.
The first thing I see when I open the bedside drawer is the charm bracelet. I run my fingers over the charm bracelet and memories begin resurfacing. Sitting in front of her closet, a smile lightening up her face as she talks about the importance of the charm to both her and Rose. I run my fingers on her bookshelf reminiscing of the day I barged into her room on Lucas' birthday teasing her. I take a seat on her laid bed, my fingertips savoring the feel of the sheets. Both of us sleeping on this bed as she runs her fingertips on my cheek, my lips, and my chest.
A soft clank is heard in the room and I thrust my foot slightly backward again. The soft clank is heard again and I go down on my knees shoving my hand under the bed to bring out the small, blue, metal box I found among Rose's things that day in this room. Beside it, the notepad and calligraphy materials I gave to Belle on Christmas sit in its box on the floor.
I take out both of them and lift the cover of the white box. I am intruding but I can't stop myself from flipping through the pages. I find nothing except an unfinished design on the first page.
However, a sentence of two lines fills the end of the hardcover and it says;
My hands only know imperfections because my thoughts refuse to speak positivity. Trust me, you'll be the first one to know when it turns out otherwise.
I don't know what the words mean to Belle but I understand it as she saying she can't start in this notepad if she doesn't set herself free.
I set the box down and focus my gaze on the small, metal box which is unsecured by the unlatched padlock.
I flip it open without any hesitation and take out the small, black pendrive from it.
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Hey guys, Chapter forty–three is out. This chapter should have come out earlier but lately, I'm losing motivation and it sucks.
Meanwhile, I'll do my best to get back into action and will see you in the next chapter
You know the drill, don't forget to vote and leave a comment while you're at it.
Thanks, luvs