Blaze's POV
"I did nothing to feel guilty. She said it herself;she doesn't like me",I continually mutter to myself
"And besides,I couldn't leave Brittany alone by herself"
I let out a groan, exasperated at the feeling of doubt in my words and the feeling of fear lurking in me
I don't know if she's aware but her eyes explain her unspoken words and the moment our eyes met,I could only see exhaustion which transformed into an empty look at my blank stare.
Fuck,you know the truth. You are worried about her, that's normal–you love her.
The word feels foreign anytime I think about it but I can't deny the truth. When she run out upon seeing Brittany and I ,I wanted to go after her and it didn't help that there was something in my instincts telling me that she was going to do something stupid.
I mutter a quick excuse to the teacher in class, ignoring his protests and run out of the classroom.
Maybe my instincts are exaggerating but at least I'd feel better if I know she is safe.
I call Addison and she answers right before the ringing ends.
"Blaze",she squeals
"You're lucky there's no teacher in class otherwise you'll be spending my detention with me"
"Addison,I need your help"
Sending the tension in my tone,she butters up quickly
"What is it?"
"Long story short,Belle saw me with Brittany and she run out of the school. I have a bad feeling in my gut telling me she's not alright. Can you please drop off at her house to see if she's okay. I'll owe you–"
" You better have a good explanation for me when I get back",she cuts me off before hanging up.
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My leg bobs up and down under the cafeteria table. It has been a half hour since Addison left and I have still not heard from her. I was probably being paranoid but I could not shake off that gut feeling of fear.
"Why do you look like you've been cast as the next victim in a horror movie",Lucas says dropping bedside me
"And where is Addison?".
"Call my impending feeling of doom shit but I have a feeling something bad has happened to Belle.
"Why do you think that?"
"I don't know. It's just this gut feeling and I'm —"
My phone vibrates in my pocket and I quickly answer it when I see who the call us from
"Addison, what's up?"
"Blaze",she hiccups and let's out a sob.
I can feel my heart sink as my mind races through possibilities of what could have happened to Belle but nothing prepares me for what Addison says next.
"...Belle", "...drowned...", "...unconscious..."
I don't remember my next words to Addison but I remember rushing out of the cafeteria leaving Lucas'question unanswered.
Driving past the limit,my hand literally shaking on the wheel and my mind trying to make sense out of everything,a tear courses down my cheek which is followed by another and before I reach Belle's house I am full on sobbing.
In plain view, I see flashing lights,an ambulance and many paramedics swarmed around Belle's house and it draws a shaky breath out if me.
I turn off the engine as soon as I'm close enough and run out of the car halfway to meet Addison.
She grabs on to me sobbing , her body quivering.
"Addison, what happened?", I ask, my whole body panicking.
She let's go of me and stares back at the house,her eyes red rimmed and filled with distraught.
" I drove here immediately after your call and —", she lets out a shaky sigh, tears coursing down her cheeks
"When I arrived, the front door was wide open but it didn't look like anybody was at home"
At the corner of my eyes, four paramedics rush out of the house stretching a gurney with a covered body on it towards the open ambulance, Belle's mum rushing after them in tears.
I run towards them as they start lowering the gurney into the ambulance. A paramedic pushes me back before I can get close.
"Wait",I yell, my eyes glistening with tears
"Please,I need to see her, I —", my words are cut off by my unstopping tears.
" Look,I understand how you feel but only one person is allowed in the ambulance with her and it's either her mum or you", he motions over to Belle's mum inside with the rest of the paramedics.
"I'll be driving behind you", I say wiping my tears.
" Please make sure you take good care of her. She means a lot to me. Both her and her mum"
He sends me a quick nod and rushes over to the ambulance. My heart breaks when the last thing I see before the doors close is a paramedic holding an oxygen mask over Belle's face.
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The linoleum floors squeak under my feet from my pacing. I ignore the irritated stares from the nurses at the front desk, my eyes set on the hallway and my mind racing. The air, thick with antiseptic trying its best to cover the smells of blood, accidents and death,white color scheme at every nook and cranny and nurses and doctors walking up and down digs an all too familiar nervous feeling in me.
I have never liked hospitals seeming as I lost someone dearly to me here. A hospital always meant something getting hurt and you could either walk out relieved or in sorrow. The very thought brings tears into my eyes when I think of mum and currently, Belle. I try to discreetly wipe it when Addison touches my arm. She tries to give me a comforting smile.
"I have to call my parents and inform them of what's happening. They've been calling me nonstop. Lucas' is grabbing a snack from the snack vendor,do you need anything?"
I shake my head and proceed with my pacing.
She sighs and turns around to go but pauses and faces me. She gestures to Stephanie whose leg bobs up and down and gaze is set pointedly on the floor.
"You should try talking to her,she hasn't stopped crying"
I walk over to Belle's mum and take a seat beside her after Addison leaves.
My mind wanders to a series of questions contemplating what to say or ask but the only thing I can come up with is
"Are you alright?"
I admonish myself the moment the words slip out of my lips wondering why I asked that question above everything.
"Christ, she has been self harming", she says bewildered.
"She has been self harming and I had no idea. I was so busy with work that I didn't realize she was not okay", she bursts out into tears and I sit there shocked and numbed in my seat unable to speak.
How?!
When?!
What?!
"How did you find out she was self harming?", I ask, my voice shaky.
She let's out a shuddering breath, her eyes red and blotchy.
"The medics took her out of the bathtub in only her undergarments. They found cuts all over her arms and thighs.",she says her voice cracking at the end.
She runs her hands through her hair, tears spilling out of her eyes.
"And from further research, she had been doing it for a long time"
"Jesus", she whispers.
"How did I not know, she lives under my roof, she is my daughter"
A memory strikes me of the day I was in her room. She came out of the bathroom in shorts and singlet and the moment she saw me, horror washed over her face and she rushed to her closet, grabbed a hoodie and run back to her bathroom.
I hadn't put any thought into it. I figured she didn't feel comfortable with me there. Thinking back through everything,I realized something. She never wore anything except hoodies, sweatpants or any piece of clothing that didn't cover her arms and legs.
Conflicted feelings of anger, hurt, fear and confusion run through my mind.
Anger at Belle and myself.
Belle, for doing this to herself and me for not noticing that something was wrong with her before it escalated to this.
Hurt and afraid that she tried to kill herself and I don't know if I am going to lose her like mum.
A doctor comes through hallway approaching us at the same time Lucas turns the corner.
"Are you Alexa Magnus' mum?, he asks when he sees us rushing over to him.
She nods.
"Please doctor, how is she?. I need to know"
He gestures to Lucas and I.
"What about them?"
"They are family friends. For God's sake, what is her condition?", Stephanie's tone gets louder.
The doctor doesn't look fazed as he assumes a straight look.
"Alexa's suffering from hypoxia–absence of enough oxygen in the tissues to sustain bodily functions. We run various brain scans and blood tests and she is seen to be suffering from brain damage–mild or severe,we are yet to found out. She's currently in a coma and under oxygen therapy and she's being stabilized to prevent further injury and to relieve pressure in the brain. It was a fortunate thing she had been brought earlier otherwise she wouldn't have made it.
"How long will she be in coma?",Stephanie asks
"It might be days,weeks. It all depends on how well she responds to treatment. She might also go through a temporary memory loss from the brain damage when she wakes up. Right now, she needs all the support you can give"
He takes his leave after asking if we have any questions and receiving a negative response.
Stephanie walks back to her seat ghostlike and a new set of tears coursing down her cheek.
Brain damage
Coma
She wouldn't have made it.
I continue pacing with my head bowed itching to hit something, anything,instead I clench and unclench my fists reminding myself to calm down. Hurried steps draw my attention and I lift my head to see Addison running towards me.
"Carson's turned himself in and the police want to see Lexi"
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A/N: Chapter Forty-two here .
Excuse my take on the diagnosis. It was a combination of Google and parts of whatever I've heard doctors say on television shows.
Corrections or any vital information not added will be greatly appreciated.
It always brightens my day on requests for a new chapter.
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Until the next chapter!