Chapter 7 Thinking Out Loud
Renesmee's POV
We are still driving, and now I'm really starting to get bored because we're never going to make it home at this rate. Daddy got a phone call a little bit ago, and now he seems to be stalling. I can feel the blood pooling in my muscles, and I sigh bored. I need to stretch my legs, before I permanently get stuck like this. I close my eyes, and remember the pages of a book that I read a few months ago. I have a perfect photographic memory, so I can reread books just by closing my eyes, and remembering the pages before me. I mentally flip the page, as I feel the car slow to a stop.
It has me worried that daddy is stalling because it means that he's trying to avoid our home, and that means that something has got to be going on, and he doesn't want to be there during it, so that means that whatever is happening is bad. I leap from the car, like a wild gazelle, and rush across the scolding blacktop to the rest area bathroom. I can hear mommy calling after me, but I'm worried, and I'm upset and I just want to be by myself. I hurry past the bathroom, and into the lobby where there is a seating area, some vending machines, and the thing that I'm looking for. A pay phone.
I hurry to the phone, and drop the three quarters in the slot, and as fast as I can, I put the phone to my ear, and begin to dial Auntie Alice's phone number. I hear the dial tone, for a moment, then the line begins to ring, and I wait in painful anticipation. It rings twice, before going to the voicemail, and I begin to really worry that something might actually be wrong. How can mommy and daddy be so calm, when our family could be in danger? What if The Vulturi found them? I turn around to head back to the bathroom, and my Jacob is there. I look into his face, for a moment before running into his open arms.
"I'm really worried about my family, and mommy and daddy are being weird, and I'm really starting to freak out!" I exclaim, as he tightens his grip around me, and I feel his warmth begin to radiate through my skin, and my insides begin to warm up, from the cold dread that has been filling my veins, since daddy got the call earlier.
"Nessie, nothing serious is going on, but your dad doesn't want you to see what's happening, so we're just slowing down a little." He explains, and even though it doesn't extinguish my worry, it does assuage it slightly.
That's when I realize for the first time, how good Jacob's arms feel around me. I never thought about him as an actual person because he's always seemed like family to me. The truth is, he isn't related to me, and for some reason he has never smelled like this. He smells sweet, and the scent of his body spray fills my nostrils, and for the first time in my life, I feel butterflies light up the darkness in my stomach. What is this feeling? Why have I never noticed how good he smells, or how big his muscles are? I soak in the moment, as my Jacob holds me, trying to comfort me, but little does he know this moment means a lot more to me, than it does to him.
Lucas's POV
Everything seems quiet, and the world flickers, before going a dark shade of gray. I kneel down quickly, and scoop her into my arms, carrying her up the stairs, as quickly, as it took, for Klaus to snap my neck, and still I feel like I took way too much time. I lay her down on the hospital bed that is set up, and hurriedly connect all the right tubes, and cables. Everything is set up within about seven seconds, and yet it feels like months, before she's laying on her back, lifelessly staring up at the ceiling above her. I hurriedly bite my wrist, and move to force some blood down her throat, but at that moment she begins to seize.
The wound heals on my wrist instantly, as I put an arm under her head to support her, like I would a newborn baby. She's bleeding from her mouth, and I can tell that she's having problems breathing. I have no idea how to fix this, and they still haven't gotten here, and I have no idea how to deliver a human baby, let alone a half vampire baby that seems to be killing the only thing that has kept it alive thus far. I honestly don't know what's going to happen, if they don't here soon. Tears of panic fill my eyes, as I continue to hold her head up, so she doesn't drown in her own blood.
I can feel myself shaking, as I try to hold her down, so she doesn't hurt herself. That's when Carlisle and Emmett are there. Carlisle steps in front of me, as Emmett pulls me away from the scene of carnage. I stand there a few feet back, as Carlisle injects something into her IV, and she instantly begins to stop seizing. I take a step forward, when she opens her eyes, but the next second, she's screaming with pain. I close my eyes, while trying to force the bile down my throat because I know that this is entirely my fault, and this whole damn thing was my idea.
Emmett side steps, and wraps his arm around my waist, as I inwardly panic, while the woman who sacrificed everything just lies there probably dying because of me. She bolts upright, and looks around at me, and her eyes don't even look real. Carlisle, is measuring a small amount of medicine, before injecting it into another vein. This time it seems to work because Sam collapses onto the bed, and stays there crumpled, but sleeping. The thought finally presents itself, and lodges itself into my sub conscious. Is she going to die? That's when I realize that my baby will be here very soon.
At that moment, a sickening noise fills the room, and it sounds so incredibly horrifying that, I feel Emmett slightly shaking against me. It sounds like metal being pulled apart, and scraping against a cold glass window. My hairs stand on end, and I close my eyes sadly. What the hell could possibly be making that noise? I take a few steps closer, and look down at her ghostly white face, and her seemingly frozen features. She looks so pale, and so drained. She doesn't even look like the same person she resembled just mere minutes ago, in the living room.
I try to picture her, when she was happy, and when she wasn't in pain from what I asked her to do. How could I have been so naïve? How could I have risked her life, for my own selfish gains? I try to picture her, as she was before I dragged her into this life that I've made for myself. This life that always ends up getting people killed, or worse. I try to imagine a way to get her out of this, without it resulting in her death, but every way I look at it, it seems hopeless. I wish there was something, anything that I could do to make this better, but there is nothing that can save her now.
At that moment, her back arches, and I hear her spine distinctively crack, and then her body goes limp.
"We have to get the baby out now, or it'll suffocate!" Carlisle commands, and I go into rescue mode. I will not lose Sam, for nothing. She made her decision to have this baby for me, and I couldn't change her mind, but I will not let her choice be for nothing. I will not let this baby die, and lose both Sam and my baby. I rush to her side, and look around for Carlisle. He's already back with a scalpel, and I realize what we have to do.
I reach for the knife, and he looks at me questioningly, but I just shake my head, before he cautiously hands it to me. I waste no time, in pressing the blade to her skin, and push it beneath the layer of skin. Blood pools around the silver blade, but I pay no mind to it, as I pull the knife downward, and cut her stomach straight open. I hurriedly make the incision, and I'm just about to pull the skin back, so I can get the baby out of there, when Sam opens her eyes. She screams the worst scream that I've ever heard in my life, just before Carlisle injects her with another sedative.
I watch, as she shakes, from the pain just before she collapses onto the bed again. She's unconscious once more, and for a few minutes at least, she doesn't have to feel the pain that I'm causing her. I try to push the thought of her pure agony out of my mind, but it's practically impossible. I hear something else, and it makes my heart skip a beat. There's another loud crack, and her body jerks to the left. She's so broken, but my heart is thinking about my baby. I know that makes me a terrible person, but it's the truth. My heart is telling me something different than my mind.
In my mind, I know that her spine has broken, but I am finding it hard to concentrate on anything except, for what I see, when he stomach is finally open. I hurriedly break the sack, and pull it away, to allow oxygen in. I'm looking down at the most magnificent miracle that has ever graced this earth. I have been excited to see my child, and even though Sam could die from this, I'll never be able to regret the events that led me to this moment. Emmett is right there, as we look down not at the child that we gave so much to have, but at our children, and as they both look up at us, he grasps my hand gently.
Chloe's POV
I finally finish packing all my bags, and, before I walk from the room, I take one last look at the life we've built. I've been thinking about it, and to me there is really no way that I can look past this right now. Maybe in the future, I'll be able to see the man that I once saw in his face, but now all I think about is the fact that he killed someone. He actually used his powers to take someone's life. We may find our way back to each other, but for right now, I can't and I won't look past it. I know he did nothing to hurt me, but it still hurts me to know that I left my life behind, and I still ended up in this position.
Jackson stumble up to me, tears still streaming down his face. I almost cave right there, but the thought of what he did, for something as trivial as money, strengthens my resolve once more. I look into his watery eyes, and feel in that moment the sheer weight of what I'm doing.
"Jackson, I've loved you since the day I met you, and I still do. Maybe we can find a place in this world someday, but at least for now, I've got to go my own way" I say, and he breaks down in a sob once more. I turn away from him, and roll my suitcase out the door.
I leave him behind sobbing there in the middle of the kitchen. I know that my words hurt him to his very core, but I had to say what I was thinking out loud. He needs to know the reason that I'm leaving. I let the first of many tears to slip down my cheek, as I slide into my car, and crank it to life. I immediately pick up my phone, and finally after all these months dial his number. I don't know what he'll say, but I need my brother in my life. The phone begins to call him, but it quickly tells me that his number has been disconnected. There's only one way to get ahold of him now.
I back out of the drive, and drive away from the man that I thought would be my forever. I always thought my story would end somewhere with us in matching rocking chairs, and we'd have ten grandkids running all around our yard, but that'll never happen now because of the Vulturi. I shake away the resentment once more, as off of our street, and finally his sobs are no longer in my hearing range, and I feel my shoulders relax considerably. What will he say to me? Will he even want to see me, after I abandoned him? I try to force the doubt from my mind, but it's impossible.
No matter the outcome, I'll know where we stand very soon because I'm driving straight to Forks, and I'm going to try to get him back, and to get the family that I threw away back. The Cullens loved me, even with all the resentment I showed them, and now I'm one of them, and I'm going back to beg for their forgiveness. They treated me like one of them all along, and now that I'm actually one of them, I'm coming back. I'm such a bitch. My main concern is if Lucas will forgive me though. I push my foot harder on the gas, as I make my way back to the only family I have left in this world, back to my best friend.