The time ticks at an agonizing pace.
However, tonight it's a blessing. I want Asiel to come home, but I also don't mind waiting all night long. My throat knots up whenever I try to practice the speech I wrote. How embarrassing. I made flashcards with everything I wanted to explain and say, pouring my heart out, but I know when Asiel is in front of me — I'm going to choke.
How am I supposed to take away his happiness? He's going to lose faith in everything. I wish love was perfect, like in the movies. The only beauty of love is love itself. It's frankly a fragment of my imagination — nothing like the movies. It suffocates my heart to know I will ruin the idea of love for him because of my selfishness.
It's the one thing he always looked forward to.
My alarm rings-- it's three in the morning. Wow. I guess Asiel is having a lot of fun with them. I didn't think they had much in common, but he deserves time to himself. Hopefully, he's drunk. It gives me an excuse to hold up until the morning, and when he's sober-- functioning to understand everything I'm going to throw at him.
I yawn, growing bored with the word puzzle game on my phone. Should I brush my teeth? If he's drunk, he will want to go straight to bed, and once I'm in Asiel's arms, there's no way out. I should probably shower, too. Or bath. Oh god. That sounds fucking fantastic, especially with the new bath bomb Asiel brought me.
Stripping off my clothing, I drop them in the corner of the bathroom and fill the bathtub with steaming hot water. It isn't an actual bath if you aren't burning your skin off. Now, which bath bomb should I go for? Sex bomb or deep sleep? Well, if Asiel is drunk-- he probably won't want to fuck, so the sex bomb would go to waste. Logically speaking, deep sleep it is.
A sudden crashing sound comes from outside of the bathroom. Before I could lock the bathroom door, the door swings open, revealing Asiel in his gray Brioni suit.
I bounce back. "Jesus Christ. You almost gave me a heart attack." I playfully chaise, gripping my chest. "How was the bachelor's party? Did you get white girl wasted?" My lips turn up in a smile, despite his very stoic expression.
"It was fine."
My stomach stirs with concern as he continues staring at me, his serious expression growing foreboding. "Is everything okay?"
He stalks towards me, craning his neck down to look into my eyes. "Everything is peachy."
I don't have the chance to say anymore, because his lips smash into mine in a painful, vicious kiss. There's no sincerity or tenderness in the kiss the way there usually is. This isn't like Asiel. It reminds me of those nights I spent with Diablo, how forceful he was with me. The way I thought all fucking was until Asiel showed me a different way.
It's aggressive, demanding, almost punishing, but I go with the flow, kissing him back. My arms rest on his back as he grips my cheeks with enough strength to bruise them. He consumes me like an apple pie. Goddammit, I should've gone with the sex bomb.
"I love you," I whisper against his lips, which earns me another assertive kiss, nibbling and gnawing at my lips until they're raw and red.
Asiel shifts his hands to my ass, and I jump, wrapping my legs around his waist as he carries us to the bed. He doesn't say it back, which breaks me a little, but he's probably too excited and can't wait to have me. Nothing is gentle tonight. Asiel pinches me, bites me, but never apologizes for his brutal force.
He shoves my thighs apart with the same rough vigor and thrust his finger inside me. An embarrassing scream escapes my throat from the intensity of the angle he's pumping his fingers in and out. My legs violently shake, and I can't help but let my eyes roll backward.
"Oh my god," I moan.
My stomach tightens with the familiar sensation of an orgasm, causing me to see the fucking constellations. Before I can erupt like a volcano, Asiel pulls out his fingers and clean my white arousal on the sheets. Without warning, he thrusts his dick through my lips, stretching me to the brim.
His pants grow louder as he thrusts in harder, and harder, and harder. It doesn't get gentler by the moment, but not in a harmful way. It feels fucking amazing, but I couldn't help but feel a hollowness blooming in my chest. His hips angrily pound against mine, sloppily with no rhythm.
"I love you," I mutter the phrase into his ear and he drops his head on my shoulder.
Nothing.
Just like before.
He doesn't say it back. All Asiel does is continue fucking me like a barbarian-- wild, violently, ferociously. The problem isn't that it doesn't feel good. The problem is, it feels like I'm fucking someone else. Not my Asiel. It's like I'm in Diablo's Paraiso all over again. Being used for my body and nothing more-- because that's what escorts are for.
I cling to Asiel's back, digging my nails into his skin as tears fall, realization slowly sinking in. My skin arches because of the force of his hands when he grips my hips, arching me up and thrashing into me. Droplets of tears tumble from my eyes as I hold on to Asiel, trying to find any shred of pride.
But I'm failing.
An orgasm rips through me, but I can't enjoy it knowing the underlines of this situation. However, it doesn't stop my body from shuddering with desire. People don't fuck like this unless they're angry. Asiel is fucking fuming.
A comic laugh wants to slip out from me.
This is his way of getting back at me? To use me the same way every guy I know did? I didn't realize how much it would fucking hurt. Pain slices through me as my heart rips for him. It hurts enough to make my breath catch in my throat. Tears slip like an open faucet, drenching my cheeks.
It's ironic how a body works.
Even as I cry from a broken heart, the physical pleasure simmers in my body. Asiel stills inside me, panting with his eyes closed-- detached. My heart thumps in my chest, collapsing with each passing beat. I knew this would devastate me.
But the real thing is always worse than the concept of it.
"You know," I whisper, my voice coming out raw and broken.
For a millisecond, his emerald eyes bore into mine before he darts away and gets off of me. He's devoid of emotion. Asiel has disappeared into the abyss. He changes into his Brioni suit, straightening out every inch of the material on his body. Sniffling, I get up from the mattress to look for my clothing, but Asiel grabs my hands, jerking them above my head.
"What the?" I mutter as I don't resist him and follow him to the headboard.
He snaps a freezing handcuff on one of my wrists and attaches the other half to the headboard, tugging on it for insurance. What the hell is happening? I hate how he's staying silent. My tears fall without mercy, blurring my vision, embarrassing me, robbing me of any dignity I had left as I stand here, naked.
Fear spreads through my veins as I watch him reach for the door.
"Asiel!" I sob out.
"No. I don't want to hear a word," Asiel replies bitterly.
I choke on my tears, but I'm past the point of caring about small, pointless things like ego and pride. "So what? Are we not going to talk about it? Say something. Anything. Please, just let me ex-."
Finally, he spins on his heels, his tear brim irises pierce into mine, lacking a single ounce of warmth. There's only agony, hatred, and anger in them. My broken heart falls to the pit of my stomach as I witness the pain I inflicted on one of my victims firsthand. It's bone-deep, gut-wrenching, and vigor enough to vaporize you from the inside.
"Talk about what, huh?" His voice raises as his nostrils flare with rage. "How many more ways are there for you to rip my heart out?"
In the blink of an eye, all his anger evaporates like water, and he sobs violently in his palm, his body trembling with emotion. "How fucking long did you think you could keep this from me? Until we're married? Had a family?"
I sigh, tasting the salty tears on my lips. "I'm sorry."
Asiel holds his head high, but his lips betray him, quivering as he sinks his teeth into his plump flesh. "You sorry it happened, or that I found out?"
My eyes silently plead with him, begging him to just listen to me long enough for me to explain everything. "I'm sorry about all of it. Asiel, you have to believe me. I never wanted to hurt you. I-I love you."
"Stop saying that." He squeezes his eyes closed, a mar forming between his eyebrows. "Why would you make me fall in love with you if you knew this? Was this your plan? Did you feel guilty for ruining my life that you volunteered as a tribute? Thought maybe if this man got some love, that he would move the fuck on?"
I jerk back as if I've been slapped by his accusations. "No, Asiel. Nothing was on purpose. It's just a big misunderstanding, okay? Let me just say my pe-." He silences me by grabbing my mouth, bitterly forcing it closed.
"What's the misunderstanding? That you accidentally killed my brother?" He scoffs, wiping the tear streaks on his face. "I saw the video. There's no point in you trying to talk yourself out of this. It's done. Any love I had for you is gone. We're done. You're sick. You're a monster. You need help. You're my worse mistake, Mika. I wish we never fucking met."
The door slams behind him, and I slide to the ground, my wrist aching from being propelled at an awkward angle.
A monster.
Diablo would be laughing because everything he said that would happen --- happened.
Asiel would have never chosen me even if he bothered to learn the true stakes of everything, familia is familia. I'm nothing but a random girl from the street. My eyes flutter close, greeted with nothing but more misery and tears as they trickle down my eyes. Ah, this is what love must feel like? I felt the good. Now, it's time to feel the bad.
I wanted to scream, laugh, sing-- anything but cry.
I don't care how insane it makes me look.
Monsters always revel in the darkness, in the insanity. So, I laugh like a fucking psychopath. But eventually, it turns into more weeping and furiously kicking my legs or yanking my hands. There's no doubt that Mateo sold me out. I applaud him-- he beat me to the punch. He knew if I explained everything, Asiel had the chance to forgive me.
But Mateo went ahead and created his own narrative. Something worse, sinister enough to have Asiel never look at me again. Nine times out of ten, anxiety creates the most exaggerated scenarios, but it's always worse than reality.
Except this is an exception.
This is the worst care scenario.
I don't even know if there's anything left to fight for.
I feel lost, alone, and petrify by facing the consequences of my actions. Good evening Devil, my close best friend. I swayed away from you when I saw a glimmer of light. Don't worry, buddy. There's not much left waiting for me here. The only person I loved fucking hates my guts so.
I might visit you earlier than I expected.
Don't wait up-- I'm not sure if tonight's the night we meet.
🥹😭😭😭😭Guys, this chapter hurt so freaking much to write like I don't want to tear my babies apart... but we can't have the climax without a little turmoil🥹🥹
Why couldn't Asiel give Mika a chance to talk? I want to smack him but I don't blame him... he's being pulled in a tidal wave of emotions 🥹🥹🥹 my two babies
How do you guys feeel? Are you crying? Do you just want to bash their heads to communicate like a couple? 🥹What do you think is going to happen next?
Thank you guys for supporting me and I can't wait to read all your comments saying how much you hate me for doing this 😂😂I'll laugh about them and be happy that I stir emotions in you guys!
Love ya❤️💜❤️🤍❤️💜❤️🤍❤️