Steve and I stayed close to each other until the sun was setting. We stayed in silence as I did with Eddie when we shared a cigarette, but with Steve It was different.
I don't know why I can't shake Eddie off my system, it's not like I knew him since we were kids. That's what makes me mad, he did a lot of things in such a short time, and with Steve, I can't figure out what it is. I just know something has changed between us.
I lift my head off his shoulder. "You guys should leave, it's getting late." Steve sighs.
"Do you want me to leave?" He looks at me. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out.
"It's your choice," I answer while getting up to walk towards the door.
"It's not my choice to make, and you know it, Hanna," Steve said, making me freeze in front of the door. Something tells me he didn't mean the thing about staying or not, it was something else.
Like I'd said, something changed between us.
I breathe out before grabbing the door handle. "The both of you can stay if you want to. Robyn and you can stay if you guys want." I needed to clarify the names, and change the subject of what we were talking about. I know I hurt him as I didn't answer what he was really asking. I did it on purpose, I can't give him the answer he wants.
Getting inside, I met Robyn, who was looking through the window next to the door. Her silence could say she saw everything. She looked at me with tender eyes.
I look at her for a moment before talking. "I'm going to take a nap, my head hurts." Robyn doesn't reply and I just walk toward my room.
I closed the door of my room, I lay in my bed on my side with my back to the door. As I'm zoning out looking at the old wallpaper of the room, I hear the squeak of the door I close not even five minutes ago open.
"Hanna?" I heard his voice. Steve's voice, was more like a whisper but I was able to hear it. A tear rolled down my cheek, but I didn't reply.
I'm sorry Steve.
Two days later:
I woke up with my mouth feeling like a desert, I sat up straight and I got dizzy. I held on to the railing of my bed as a reflex. I wait a minute or two before getting off my bed from the stairs, since I don't want to slip because of my dizzy ass. Opening the door of my room, the smell of bacon gets into my nose trails.
Mmm okay?
Steve was cooking while Robyn and Ruby were sitting in the counter bar chairs eating scrambled eggs and bacon.
"Morning," I say, walking towards the fridge to take out a bottle of water. Shallowing, the water was like heaven to my throat.
The three of them look at me as if they haven't seen me in a week or something.
"I know I slept all the afternoon till morning, I was tired," I say leaning reaching the counter, and resting my elbows on it.
"Mmm, Hanna...you were out for two days," Robyn said to me while I took another sip of my water.
Almost, and I choke with it.
"What?!" I say trying to remember what day was two days ago to know what day is today. ¨Then it's Monday. Shit! You are supposed to be at school, Ruby." I say, putting my hands in my face in stress.
Oh god, how am I supposed to take care of her if I continue like this?
I heard the sound of a plate clacking on a surface, then I felt the warmth of a hand on my shoulder. I take my hands off my face to see a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon as a happy face in front of me, with Steve standing beside me.
"Don't worry, I called the school and said that she had a fever through the weekend and today she stayed home just to make sure she was better and that tomorrow she will be back." He did again, he saved my ass again.
"Thank you." Steve smiles softly at me too, then turns around to finish what he was doing. Then I took a look at what he was wearing. Steve had sweatpants and a shirt on, but what took my attention was the apron around his waist. It was white with yellow dots.
I snort, taking everyone's attention.
"You are definitely a mom, Steve," I say, not containing my laugh anymore. Ruby and Robyn start laughing too, while Steve looks at the apron and then at us before shaking his head with a laugh.
It was such a dumb thing what I said but I can't seem to catch my breath. It's been a while since my belly hurt like this from laughter.
After all of us finished with our breakfast, we decided that we had to clean the house today because tomorrow we will be back to "normal", and by normal I mean; Steve and Robyn will be back to work while Ruby and I will be at school.
I shouldn't be at school but I can't stay alone, not right now. I know Steve and Robyn will disagree with me about going back to school but I'll tell them I will call them if I feel the tiniest symptom.
Anyway, we divided the chores:
Steve and I will be cleaning the living room and the kitchen, while Robyn and Ruby will be in charge of the rooms and bathroom. I know Ruby is just a kid and she shouldn't be cleaning but she likes it. I swear the side of her room is cleaner than mine.
I always said she acts like a grown kid, and that makes me sad sometimes. I hope I can change that, I don't want her to grow so fast. Not like I did.
"Guys, pleaseee, I'm falling asleep while cleaning the closets," Robyn says in a whine as she leans in the wall of the kitchen looking at me as I clean the counter and Steve sweeps the floor.
"We can play some music on my record player." I propose and Robyn's face lights up, she shakes her head repeatedly. " 'kay, I'll be back," I say, putting the rag with which I was wiping the kitchen counter on my shoulder to head for my room.
"Hanna, what type of music do you listen to?" Robyn shouts from the kitchen.
"You will see!" I open my closet, where I have cardboard boxes on the ground. I took out the ones that had written Metal & Rock in capital letters, opening the box I skipped with my fingers with every record until I found the one I was looking for.
I smirk on my lips as I get up with the vinyl in my hands, walking toward the record player.
"Robyn, believe me, you will not fall asleep with this!"
As soon as the needle touched the record, the guitar started to play to then get accompanied by the drums.
"Everybody, up by Saxon, was playing.
I wanna see the whole place jumpin'
Ya, c'mon baby, can you feel the heat
Move up close the boys are out to get ya
'Cause we don't care just what you got in mind
I said -
Everybody up
Everybody, everybody up" I sang while getting back to the kitchen.
As I came back from the room singing, the music was blasting through the walls of my and Ruby's room.
Robyn thanked me for the music even though that's not the genre she likes, but she definitely would not fall asleep with this one.
As the song played everyone got back to the chores, even though the music was loud I could still hear Robyn and Ruby's laugh. I like that they seem to be getting closer these days. Robyn usually gets nervous around kids as young as Ruby since they are in the time of learning and the things they learn they grow with, it's a lot of pressure really. I think Robyn needed that reassurance from Ruby.
But the point was that we could hear their laughs and conversations, while Steve and I didn't speak a word. He is avoiding me, even though we had a small interaction during breakfast. I think I'm avoiding him too.
Every time we kind of get close to each other, I can feel the tension between us.
I don't know how are we going to lead with this during the next few days if they continue staying at the trailer.
My thoughts got interrupted by three knocks on the door. For some reason, I got nervous. I know it's not Eddie, or maybe it is. But why would be him, maybe he knows about the hospital thing and wanted to check on me.
"Henderson, what are you doing in here?" I hear Steve's voice as I turn around to look at the door where he stood.
Dustin?
I walk towards Steve to stand behind him, standing on my tiptoes since he was covering with his tall body.
I met eyes with the boy with curly hair and a cap but he was not alone. He was with Lucas, too.
"Hi?" I say from behind Steve, it was small, but he froze for a second before he glued himself to the door. "What's up, guys?" I ask.
"Steve has been ignoring us all the weekend and we wanted to ask you if you have seen him and oh surprise he is in here. Now that explains everything." I looked at Steve from the corner of my eyes and could see he was sending daggers to Dustin with his eyes.
Before I could say something, Steve speaks. "Yeah, I've been in here, Robyn, too. What's so important that you needed me, guys, for?" He asks, crossing his arms as he leans in the door.
"He forgot," Lucas said, rolling his eyes.
"How could you forget about it, Steve?" Dustin says. Steve looked confused for a moment before he mouths 'oh'.
"I'm sorry, guys, we can do it another time."
"What is he talking about?" I ask, as I'm the one who looks like it doesn't know what they were talking about.
"Today at 7:30 pm is the last day to watch at the auto cinema Mazes and Monsters, and Steve promise us that he would take us."
"Why don't you ask the freak to take you? You have been spending a lot of time with them lately." Steve says with a bit of jealously in his tone.
"Eddie is busy, he lately is busy, he doesn't even come to the Hellfire club anymore." I didn't know Eddie to know a lot about him, but one thing I knew for sure is that he loves hellfire club. Why did he stop?
"Okay, okay, damn it. I will take you guys." Steve gave up.
"You are invited to Hanna," Dustin said to me.
"I don't know, my little sister doesn't like that kind of movie and I can't let her with Robyn, she needs to rest too."
"How old is she?" Lucas asks.
"She is six," Steve answers for me.
"That's great she can stay with Holly, after all, we need to go for Mike." Steve shakes his head at Dustin's words.
"No she can't, she needs to rest." I put my hand on his arm to have his attention.
"It's just a movie, Steve, it's not like I'm going to be doing an effort or something."
"See, she will be okay," Dustin speaks.
"Fine." Steve sighs, not very convinced.
My loves, I'm sorry I don't update last week when I said I was going to do it.
I've been REALLY busy with school since I'm in my senior year and it's a lot of hell of a pressure, but I promise you that I'll keep updating as soon as I can.