"what are we going to do?" zayn asks as he enters into jordan's room. he locks the door after himself.
"we?" jordan raises an eyebrow. "there is no we. you hold up your end of the bargain. you don't tell javier and liam that i'm pregnant and i don't tell javier you lost your memory, and i don't tell liam you're planning on doing god knows what with javier."
"i'm not planning on doing anything,"
"yeah, and i'm not knocked up," jordan rolls his eyes.
"jordan," zayn gives a sad smile. "you're still my son. i want to help."
"no. you're not my mom. the only reason why you rushed to the hospital without telling dad is because you wanted to see javier. i could have been dying but all you cared about was him."
"that's not true," zayn says. "i care about you too."
"stop it. i already have a ton of things on my mind and i don't need you adding to it,"
"i really want to help jordan," zayn says. "i know what it's like. i've been there, in my mind, i just experienced it."
"you can't do anything for me," jordan says. he sniffles. "you can't."
"i can listen," zayn says.
"how would that help me?"
"try it," zayn says.
"i don't know what to say. i just feel so stupid," jordan says. "i'm so stupid. i keep making dumb decisions. over and over again."
"i feel the same way too. i think it's normal," zayn says. "and i turned out fine at the end, didn't i?"
"no offense but i don't want to turn out like you," jordan says.
"ouch," zayn says.
"i'm sorry," jordan apologizes. "that was rude."
"no, it's alright. i can't be offended if i don't remember who i am, right?"
"it's just that i had this plan of how i wanted my life to be like," jordan says. "i wanted to be famous. i want my face to be on every billboard around the world. and i was going to get there."
"you can still get there,"
"no. my life is ruined now mom," jordan starts to cry. "everything is ruined."
"i'm sorry," zayn says, watching jordan breakdown in front of him. he has no idea what to do or say to the other boy. he sees himself so much in him that it scares him.
...
lucas isn't even surprised in the least to see elias in his bedroom when he walks in. he purposefully left his window unlocked because he was expecting him. he's getting predictable, anytime he and jordan don't talk for a while elias always comes to him after a certain couple of days.
"hey tiny," elias says, picking a book off lucas bedside table and reading it. lucas walks to him and collects it from his hand, placing it back. elias picks up another thing, a picture frame and lucas collects that as well.
"stop messing up my stuff," lucas complains.
"sorry," elias chuckles, looking unapologetic.
"i know why you're here," lucas says. "and yes, he's in his bedroom."
"what if that's not the reason i'm here?" elias says, moving closer to lucas. lucas swallows. those words shouldn't have an effect on him but it does.
"why else would you be here?"
"because i wanted to see you, tiny," elias says.
"really?" lucas asks, disbelieved. "you're here only just to see me. nothing else."
"well," elias looks around, then sits on lucas bed. "maybe."
"i'm not buying that," lucas says. "i know you and jordan haven't been talking again, and-"
"i don't want to talk about jordan right now," elias says, sighing and laying on lucas bed. he holds one of the pillows next to him. "i get it. i know sometimes he prefers to deal with shít alone, so he shuts everyone out and comes back when he's better. he's told me, and i get it."
"oh," lucas says.
"but where does that leave me? i'm supposed to be his boyfriend. i go through shít too. you have no idea," elias says. lucas has some sort of an idea, he's figured elias has some trouble at home. he's seen the scars on his body, older scars that definitely didn't come from his fights.
"but i can't even tell him because he's apparently the only one allowed to have problems," elias says. "everything in this relationship has been about him. i'm tired of it."
"he doesn't mean to," lucas tries to defend his brother. "things have been hard for him lately, he's not handling it well but it doesn't mean he doesn't care about you."
"i know... i just wish he trusted me enough to let me in. i'm tired of being treated like this," elias says. "it hurts. but i plan on breaking up with him. today."
"what? no. you can't do that," lucas says. he already feels distraught. he knows jordan would be broken by it, and lucas himself would feel bad because this means he wouldn't see the older boy anymore.
elias gets up from the bed and walks to lucas. "i already made up my mind. but don't worry, i'll still drop by if jordan let's me. i care about the both of you too much."
lucas sniffles. he feels like he's the one being broken up with. he feels bad for his brother in advance, but secretly, deep down there's some part of him that's... relieved? but why would he be relieved? he has nothing to gain from it.
"wish me luck," elias says, waving away at lucas.
...
liam can't shake the feeling that zayn and jordan are both hiding something from him. and whatever it is, it can't be good because why else would they work together? it's been two days since he slept with zayn but he still can't get over it.
he's gotten tired of hoping that zayn gets his memories back. everyday, he wakes up more disappointed than he was the previous day.
the search for harry has also been proving fruitless, zayaad is getting increasingly frustrated with the police. he's also been coming around more lately to complain about it to liam.
liam tries his best to console him, even though the man makes snarky comments all the time. liam feels bad for him and relates to his pain so he tries to be there for him as much as possible.
like right now. zayaad came over and zayn manages to convince him to stay for dinner.
"where's jordan?" zayaad asks.
"yeah, where is he?" liam asks. jordan has become increasingly rare to sight this days. the boy is always locked in his room. liam hopes that he isn't falling into depression again.
"he's not feeling well," zayn says. "he says we should go on without him."
"why are you speaking for him?" liam asks. it's rare to find zayn taking his parental duties seriously.
"because he's my son," zayn says. liam warms up to that, zayn is becoming more mature, but that doesn't mean that liam would forgive him for what he did. "zaad, any updates on your boyfriend?"
"no," zayaad says. "the stupid fúcking police don't know what they're fúcking doing."
"don't swear in front of the kids zayaad," liam says out of habit.
"dad, we're not babies," oliver says.
"fúcking right oliver, you're all grown as shit," zayaad adds, adding a curse word for emphasis. "except maybe for zayn."
"hey," zayn says defensively.
the kids seem to enjoy that joke, and everyone starts giggling at the expense of zayn. liam can't help but chuckle too, and zayn pouts at them.
they hear footsteps, and liam sees jordan walk past them to the kitchen. he comes out with a bottle of water. he looks terrible. and he isn't even trying to hide it, so it must be pretty bad.
"hey stranger, join us for dinner," liam says.
"no thanks," jordan says, walking back towards his room.
"who pissed in his coffee?" zayaad asks.
"elias broke up with him," lucas says, sadly.
"what?" zayn exclaims, standing up from the dining chair. "i'll go check up on him." he says, following after jordan.
"poor jordan. i never liked him anyway," liam says.
"dad you just judge him because he has tattoos and a motorcycle," lucas rolls his eyes.
"he sounds cool to me," zayaad says. "but he broke my nephews heart so i'm going to kill him."
"maybe i was right to judge him, and zayaad, you need to stop saying things like these in front of the kids,"
"well maybe he had a reason," lucas huffs.
"lucas why are you defending him?" theo asks.
"i'm not!" lucas says defensively.
"sounds like you are," oliver adds.
"you guys don't know anything about him, you're just judging him because he has tattoos,"
"and he broke your brothers heart," liam says.
"lucas has a crush on jordan's boyfriend," oliver says teasingly.
"shut up olly. i have a boyfriend why would i have a crush on jordan's boyfriend you donkeybrain. and they're no longer together,"
"lucas and elias sitting in a tree-"
"you're such an immature rat!" lucas yells, his face turning red from frustration and anger.
"hey, hey, hey," liam interferes.
"olly stop it," liam says. "and lucas, don't call him a rat."
"okay, he's not a rat. he's the offspring of a snake and a rat. a snat," lucas says.
zayaad laughs loudly. "good one."
liam shakes his head and sighs deeply. why does he even bother?
"i might be a snat but at least i don't have a crush on jordan's boyfriend and i don't dress up like a girl," oliver says.
fast. before anyone could notice. lucas picks up the closest thing to him which happens to be a glass cup and throws it directly on oliver. it makes an impact.
oliver screams, liam quickly rushes over to him, fatherly instincts overtaking him. lucas realizes what he's done and his eyes go wide and apologetic.
"lucas, what have you done?!" liam yells at him.
"i-i'm sorry," he says.
"he's bleeding," theo notices.
"it's not that bad," zayaad says, trying not to scare oliver. he doesn't even look at it.
oliver holds the point of impact, his eye while groaning from the pain.
"dad, it hurts," oliver sniffles.
"zayaad, get your keys. we're taking him to the hospital," liam says. zayaad nods, bringing out his keys from his pocket. liam picks oliver up.
"i'm so sorry," lucas starts to cry. "it was an accident, i-i didn't know. i'm sorry oliver."
"we'll deal with this when we're back," liam says to lucas, taking an injured oliver to the car. zayaad follows after.
now it's just lucas and theo left in the living room. zayn comes out because he hears the commotion.
"what happened?" zayn asks. he left the dining with five people but only lucas and theo are here currently. "why is he crying?"
"there was a slight mishap," theo replies.
"i think i blinded oliver," lucas weeps.
"lucas no, it wasn't that bad," theo says.
"he's never going to forgive me,"
"i'm sure he would," zayn says. "can you both check up on jordan? i'm going out."
"where to?" theo asks, knowing that liam would want to know when he gets back.
"somewhere that doesn't concern you," zayn says.
"really, mom?" lucas says, with a teary face.
...
"my family is falling apart," liam says. oliver is in the emergency room while zayaad and liam wait for him.
"don't be a drama queen, kids fight all the time," zayaad says.
"it's not just this. everything," liam sighs. "i'm worried we'd never go back to the way we used to before."
"don't say that liam,"
"it's true. my husband is mentally stuck as a sufferable seventeen year old, i have no idea what's going on with jordan, lucas has never done something like this before and oliver is in the emergency room. i had the right idea to send noah to boarding school because there's no way he could've handled all this," liam says. "and theo just started staying with us, i wouldn't be surprised if he leaves because the drama is just too much."
"zayn would get his memories back. big deal, jordan is a moody teenager. oliver got on lucas nerves so he fought back. and every single family comes with drama," zayaad says. "so relax, okay? at least you have your family with you."
"thank you. and i'm really sorry about harry, they'll find him,"
"i know," zayaad replies.
a few minutes later, oliver walks out with the doctor. there's an eyepatch on his eye over the bandages.
"dad look at me, i'm a pirate," oliver says excitedly.
liam chuckles, getting up and ruffling his hair. he's relieved that oliver seems fine. "the cutest pirate."
he goes over to meet the doctor. "would his eye be okay?"
"yeah, a couple of weeks and it'll be back to normal," the doctor says. "any closer and he could've lost the eye. what did you say happened again?"
"a fight with his brother," liam sighs.
"don't worry doctor. i'm going to get him back," oliver says.
"you'll do no such thing," liam warns sternly. both zayaad and the doctor chuckle.
"but dad," oliver pouts.
"the only reason why this happened was because you kept taunting him. leave your brother alone olly."
"wow dad. are you victim blaming me?"
"no, and where did you learn that term from?" liam asks, amused.
"i took a class on consent," oliver says.
liam chuckles.
...
"how is jordan?" javier asks. zayn is sitting across him on a restaurant table.
"he's... he's okay,"
"he really scared me you know. i've never been that scared since..." javier trails of. "well, you know."
"yeah," zayn says. he can't stop staring at javier. javier had always been drop dead gorgeous, but he seems to have gotten even more handsome with age.
"so why did you want to see me zayn? is this about jordan? because i'm sorry for going behind your back to see him. i know i promised to leave him alone, but i couldn't just stand by while he was having problems,"
"it's fine javier. i just wanted to thank you for taking care of him. he's been troubled lately but he really needs you by his side," zayn says.
"are you sure about what you're saying? i broke our agreement about not contacting any of you," javier says.
"i should've never made that agreement in the first place. jordan needs his father," zayn says. "you should stay in his life."
"how can you be okay with that after all i've done?" javier asks.
"it's all in the past. i'd like to think i've moved on from it," zayn says.
"i haven't even been able to forgive myself. how can you say you've moved on from it?"
zayn sighs. he knew this wouldn't be easy, javier always made things more complicated than they should be.
"i have javier," zayn says, subconsciously resting his hands over javier.
"you really haven't changed at all zayn," javier says, taking his hands away. "but i can't take advantage of your niceness. not anymore."
"i'm not trying to be nice javier," zayn says. "i missed you. a lot. do you remember the promises we made to each other?"
"zayn, stop it," javier says.
"that no matter what, we'd end up with each other. i haven't forgotten," zayn says.
"you're married zayn. and even if you weren't, i abused you. this isn't the type of conversation you should want to have with me,"
"okay, you're right. i'm sorry, i haven't seen you in seventeen years so my brain is a bit jumbled on what to say," zayn says. maybe he's coming on to strongly and scaring javier. he needs to play it cool. "how's freddie by the way? i heard he's with you?"
javier smiles. "yeah. he's great. he's a photographer, doing pretty well actually."
"that's nice. i'm really glad he has you," zayn says. "i feel terrible that we had to leave him."
"i know," javier looks at him sadly. "your life was in danger. zayaad did the right thing. i wish i had done the same."
"i'm sorry," zayn says. "i really am."
"it's not your fault. and please, don't apologize to me zayn. not after all i've done,"
"but you lost so much," zayn says. "and it was my fault."
javier gets up. "zayn. i'm sorry, it was nice to see you again. i've dreamt about this for so long, but i can't do this. please tell jordan to call me."
he turns around to leave. zayn swears under his breath. he has fúcked up.
"javier, wait," zayn follows after him. but he can't catch up with him and javier goes out of his sight.
he groans. he doesn't even know what he was expecting from meeting javier. that they reconnect again? they fall in love again?
he's so stupid. he may not have his memories but he's married. and he's pregnant. of course it wouldn't work out. but some part of him, the part that loses all sense of reasoning when it comes to javier still thinks that there might be a bit of hope.
he decides to go home, and think of what to do next.
...
i really don't like this chapter 😔
befour spoilers i guess. cuz idk if i'd ever complete that book 😔
also i've decided to come up with an update schedule i'll try to keep up with. i'll update at least once in 3 weeks or twice a month.
what character would you like to see more of?
and lastly in this story, abortion is illegal. (i'm pro-choice ofc it's just for the plot)