Apparently, I've been wandering around the hospital with several fracture knuckles. Doctor Philip didn't even bother to shield the shock on his face as he touched every bone, and I didn't flinch an inch. I played it off by saying I have a high pain tolerance. Which is the truth. The only time I felt a glimmer of discomfort was when Asiel started crying during our kinky fuck session.
Why is he awakening these dormant godawful emotions? Things were better when I went through life feeling nothing but pride. But also a piece of me craved to create sweet, happy moments with my boyfriend. I don't know how long things will keep going my way before everything fucking blows up in my face.
Our relationship is intertwined with a time bomb, ticking to the evitable end. A day I'm starting to think I don't ever want to experience. We have an expiration date. All relationships do. Whether it's a break-up or someone dying, it all comes to an end. This is why love and happiness are all fucking pointless.
It's only a two-minute scene in a one-hundred ninety-minute movie.
A small glitch in the matrix.
A flickering light bulb.
Do I deserve to be happy even for a minute?
My thoughts evaporate into thin air as I feel an elbow bump into my arm on the armrest. Pacho blows a raspberry as he rakes his hand down his face. His light touch makes my skin crawl, itch, irritate. Just because he decided to not participate in the events that night doesn't make him any better than them. He still watched and let it happen to us. Riley is still dead because no one fought against the monarch.
The dark cloud of blame doesn't only drench his clothes. Since relieving the memories, I've been drowning under the thunderstorm from the blame cloud. Riley. Asiel. Bodies. Death. Blood. My skin is bleeding, tearing apart as the guilt carves through my skin like magic. Nothing used to affect me. Why do I suddenly feel like a piece of shit?
I think there's a fault in my code.
Pacho clears his throat. "How long do you have to wear that for?"
My eyebrows arch in confusion until I remember the splint on my hand. "Oh, about eight to twelve weeks."
"How did that happen?"
"I-um. Fell?" My voice waivers, giving my shitty lie away. "
He tips his head to the side and gives me a pointed look. "You fell?"
"Y-eah." I nibble on my lip a second before taking a steady breath. "Please refrain from overstepping boundaries. We both know no one here cares about what happens to me."
With a deep breath, he replies, "I do care. Not as much as Asiel, but I value an asset on our team. You're valuable to us. Maybe the answer to everything."
The patience on my face quickly shrinks. "Since when has your opinion of me changed? I thought I had it coming."
A hint of disbelief flashes over his face as his frame turns wooden, frozen, curling into itself. "So, you do remember that night. I-I thought you must've forgotten after acting so casual with us during the birthday dinner. You played the part perfectly."
I can literally hear my heart kicking into overdrive as the memories burst in my mind like fireworks. "What do I earn from making a scene at my boyfriend's birthday dinner? It's more entertaining to play into your illusion. Keep you guys up at night wondering if I'll reveal the truth or worse-- revenge."
My chair vibrates as Pacho's leg increases its speed, shaking up and down. He leans his forearms on his knees and digs his face into the palm of his hands. They're trembling, convulsing like his legs. Why is he so fucking tense? Didn't he catch onto the sarcasm laced in my voice? As if I would ever admit this to anyone, especially Asiel. It doesn't exactly benefit my case.
Throwing the quivering man a bone, I elbow his shoulder and offer a cigarette. "You seem like you need to unwind."
He chews on his bottom lip as he takes the cigarette from my grasp and follows me out of the hospital. The entrance is damp from the rain earlier in the day. Muggy, sticky air from all the pollution in the city. People walk in and out, returning to their ordinary lives while I'm trapped in a web of lies. My finger pushes down the flint wheel, and a flame comes to life at the end of the lighter, igniting my cigarette.
I hold the lighter out for Pacho to light his up, and take a drag from my cigar. The smoke engulfs my lungs, burning them in all the right places as I glance at the heavy, foggy sky, blowing out my cloud of smoke to create a bright mist. Beautiful. There's nothing better than damaging your lungs and admiring the earth's demise.
"I want to say I'm sorry."
My eyes drift away from the sky, facing Pacho, unsurprised to find him staring at me wide-eyed. "For what? A cig? Don't worry, I have plenty."
He blinks a couple times before tipping his head to the side with confusion and curiosity filling his gaze. "No. I'm not talking about the cigarette. Thank you, by the way." Pacho pauses, licking his lips. "I'm sorry for that night. For not doing more. It's been eating at me since I left you guys with them. You could've stolen a million dollars from the familia and still didn't deserve the punishment. They took things way too fucking far."
A short, dark laugh bubbles out of me. "Does it make you feel like a man to apologize to me? Pathetic. I don't need it. It doesn't change anything. Saying sorry doesn't equivalent to being a better man."
"You're right. No matter how much I wished I could go back to that night and fight for you, I can't. This is our reality. Yes, maybe I thought earning your forgiveness would somehow make me feel better, but I have to live with my actions. You don't have to forgive me or like me, but I want to repay my mistake with loyalty."
I cross my arms. "So, if I asked you to murder Asiel right this second, would you?"
Pacho's eyes dart to the side, his adam's apple bobbing. "Well, are you?"
A whirl of smoke departs from my lips, inhaling through my nose. "No."
"Oh, thank god."
"What if I asked you to kill every single man that participated that night? They're your friends, no? Would you be able to do it?"
A heavy sigh escapes him. "They stopped being my friends years ago. I would be glad to massacre them, but we're swarmed from both sides. If I take them out, that ultimately seals Asiel's faith. He needs them to survive this war. But say the word, and I start tonight with Mateo."
My mental gears go haywire at the name that leaves his mouth. Why is Mateo the first on his hit list? As much as I loathe the fucker, I don't identify him in my hazy memories. But how can I trust my own memories? It's been years. Surely there's been a loss in details along the way.
"Why is Mateo the first person on your list?"
His gaze softens, brows pull tight. "Because he initiated everything. Ander had a lot of secrets. Things that could destroy his position as Jefe. Asiel's father found out the biggest secret of all and was furious. Embarrassed. Because of this revelation, he had to find a way to show the world what a man his son was. So Mateo suggested having two girls ready for Ander."
He tosses his cigar on the floor and stomps on it. "Originally, it was supposed to be neutral. Both parties consented, but then you stole money from a drunk Gato and torched his drug stash. Ander left the responsibility of retaliating in Mateo's hand. As you can see, he decided to kill two birds with one stone. Show the world how ruthless the Morterero familia can be and show two naive girls what happens when you mess with us."
It's a blessing and a curse, but I read people like books. The second I was with Mateo, he gave me such a bizarre fucking feeling. He tries to hide under this caring mentor facade when really he is as menacing as Gato. There's a sincerity in people like Gato. He is honest with himself and revels in the darkness. Mateo is a wolf in sheep's clothing, trying to mask the demons in his soul.
A small smile tips my lips. "No wonder why I never liked that fucker. He has a foot-hold everywhere. Those are the types that have agenda-- straight to the top of the food chain. If we want to keep him from reaching it-- we have to throw a wrench in his plans, starting with Asiel's trust in him."
His brows snap together. "That's where I cannot help. If Mateo gets a whiff of me talking shit-- I'll be done for. He has already gotten rid of Gato. Ironically, after having a brawl with him the night he returned from vacation. I don't doubt Gato had aligned himself with outsiders, but the timing is concerning. Why is he suddenly getting found out now?"
An uneasy feeling settles in my chest from his words. "So, he's planting evidence?"
"Exactly."
An insane idea flies through my head like dizzy birds. If an ordinary fellow like Mateo can forge evidence, then a computer genius could surely butcher evidence. My bluff to Luka won't hold up much longer, and soon, or later, he will release the picture. I need to hit him before he has a chance to think.
Kill two birds with one bloody stone.
Frame Luka as Ander's killer, which will give Asiel the incentive to murder him.
Bye, bye, Luka.
Bye, bye, to my little secret.
With raised eyebrows and a debatable pout on my face, I ask, "Could you frame evidence? Without a trace? Nothing linking back to the both of us?"
He slowly nods. "Yeah... Why?"
I chuckle softly, closing the distance between us and dropping my arm on his shoulder. "I might have an idea, but I can't have you questioning anything. If I ask you for something, then you do it. You want to pay back for ruining my life and taking Riley away? Well, this is your chance. What do you say?"
He audibly swallows, his eyes darting around the shadowy parking lot. "Fine. But I have one question. Who are you going after first?"
"Luka. We can't do any spring cleaning with the big bad wolf blowing down our house every five seconds," I respond, grinning at the idea of getting all I've wanted in life.
Maybe there isn't an expiration date just yet. It's a slim chance, but if things work out the way I hope, we can work out. Be together until we both get bored and move on to the next chapters of our lives. That's how relationships work, right?
Before I could slip through the hospital doors, Pacho calls out, "Mika. I have one last final question. Do you feel anything towards Asiel, or is he a part of this scheme? We aren't close, but he's my baby cousin. I don't want you to break him more than he already is."
Asiel alone creates a knot in the bottom of my stomach. The painful yet sweet kind. The one I'd never experienced until he came into my life. God fucked us over. Why did he put him in my path? Is this my destiny? To care for someone other than myself?
I stop in my tracks, stunned by the way my heart accelerates. "I don't want to, but I don't know what the future holds for us. Everything is up in the air, but he isn't a part of my scheme. I care about him. More than I should."
PARTY TIME! Let's drink everytime Mika admits she cares about Asiel! Lol I don't think we will get drunk because Mika hasn't said it much but more than twice is better than one for Mika especially....
What do you guys think about Pacho apologizing? Do you think Mika should use him for all he's worth? Do you think he has a hidden agenda?
Thank you for reading this chapter and I can't wait to read all your comments! Love ya💜❤️💜❤️💜