Jisung pov:
Jimin, who for many days had been grieving that i had missed out on the maknaes scheduled outing, now was begging jin to let me out. He was trying now in pure desperation, sobbing crying at the foot of jins bed. Yoongi has his back to us, not wanting to be involved or seen at all. Jimin had dragged me out of bed so he could have me "there in the flesh" as he asked.
By there in the flesh, hanging on the doorframe half asleep was enough.
In the flesh didn't mean I had to be alive either.
In true Jimin fashion, he had tried everything. Blackmail, seduction, bribery, armed robbery, but Jin didn't budge.
"he fainted the other day. No- with you three he will end up in a ditch-" jin shook his head and repressed a shiver.
I often wonder what gives jin authority, they can drag me out any time but they can't due to jins abuse tactics (dirty looks)
"yeah he fainted. The other day. Look at him now, he's glowing!" Jimin said, pointing at me slumped against the doorframe. He was spiraling into madness. Jin simply ignored this, going back to his phone to play his game.
"you can go next week or something" he yawned, now trying to block him out.
"b-but we have already rescheduled it enough times" jimin said incredulously, close to pulling out his hair.
At this point i decided to leave, no progress was being made, so I crawled away. I couldn't be bothered to stand up. I passed namjoon in the hallway. He burst out laughing and i could feel my heart being crushed.
"what are you doing? '' he managed to choke out though he laughed.
I looked up at him frowning. It's a nice view but at what cost? Being degraded?
"i always wanted a dog" he reached down and patted my head.
"a cat" namjoon was still laughing. I decided to get up, my pride worth more than laziness.
"workplace injury" I hissed at him and he only laughed harder.
"This is my last day alive, I hope you feel guilty." I sighed, throwing my door open.
He walked away, still laughing as he got to the kitchen.
I threw myself on my bed. I was bored, there wasn't much i. Could do. I didn't feel like doing anything. Too much energy.
Sleeping was a good option, but what's the point, i feel like i'm wasting time even though I can't do anything.
I didn't feel sick anymore, well not as bad as the other day. Just tired.
Even going out with jimin, jk and taehyung didn't seem that fun.
It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize my phone was ringing. I thought my alarm was finally going off. This being the time I actually wanted to wake up before Jimin dragged me out of bed.
"hello?" I had the phone hanging over my bed, not looking at the caller id. Opening my eyes was too much of a hassle.
"is this jang jisung?" a ladies voice, sickly and harsh on my eardrums.
"hmm" I grunted in response. Calling at this hour I would only hope she has a good reason as to why.
"I'm calling to inform you about your mother-" at the word "mother" I sat up, my previously sleepy attitude was quickly being replaced with anxiety and guilt.
"- I have good news. She is being discharged as we speak. Your mother recommends you wait for her at home" her voice that was once so shrill now was soft and comforting.
She recognised me as her son and I liked the small feeling it gave me.
"ok thank you" was all i could say before my mind was set on leaving the dorm.
I hardly remember any of it. My socks were probably inside out and my t-shirt back to front but I couldn't care less.
I was out of my bedroom in what felt like seconds. I had never felt better. I tripped over half way to the door, but it never left my gaze.
My bag was falling off my shoulders in my haste. "jisung what the hell are you doing? '' I had been dragged out of my daze. I was so consumed with happiness, the day I had been praying for was now here.
I was quite bothered that someone was talking to me amidst my haste. "you can't-"
" i'll explain later" I didn't recognise who was talking as that wasn't important, i didn't look up as i was tucking my shoe laces into my shoes.
I leapt out the door before whoever it was could catch me and put me back into bed like some fragile old man.
I was sprinting out the house, thumberling with my mask.
Though I knew I couldn't see her often, the thought of her being somewhere comfortable and not as grim as a hospital was extremely comforting.
If i didn't stop, i could have crashed into the bus stop. I always had a problem when slowing down, especially as i wasnt a good runner.
The bus, not known for its punctuality, put a hole in my new found joy. I groaned in impatience.
"stupid" i cursed and i kicked the seat impulsively. But I soon recoiled, headlines of "jang jisung bts newest member seen damaging public property" flashed before my eyes so i soon sat down in fear. I still had to catch my breath from running.
My phone was ringing again. Seokjin
I grimaced. He must be who I ran past and ignored.
"hello" i wasn't sure what to say.
It finally came crashing down, the months of hiding and keeping secrets were quickly coming to an end and I wasn't prepared. Even if it wasn't ending now it would be soon.
"where the hell did you go- what is up with you- get back here-"
Jin was shouting. He probably didn't realise it but he was. His voice is deep so when it's projected I get chills.
"um-" my chest had tightened as I tried to fix my breathing.
"i have- um i have to be somewhere, family emergency y'know-" i rambled on. Not sure if what I said even made sense. Was I allowed to go out like this?
"right" was all he said.
Is he angry? I can't read his voice...
I coughed, feeling awkward. I wasn't entirely sure how to Act again. My thumb hover on the red button. It danced around in my fuzzy vision. I hadn't put my glasses on.
"jisung, come back will you..?" he whispered, as if he was hiding under his blanket like we were two 'friends' calling in the dead of night.
"what- of course i will- i mean when i can-" i felt slightly mortified that he didn't think I would return.
"Why wouldn't i?" I said slightly softer, comforting him even though he might be feeling delusional.
"i don't know...I just had a horrible feeling that you wouldn't come back." he sounded slightly ashamed. I could hear something in his voice and I wondered if there was any other reason.
The line was silent for a while. It was so loud yet I knew he was on the other end of the line.
When I closed my eyes I could almost see his outline. The outline of him in my mind's eye would ripple every time I heard him breathe.
"When I get home, i'll come straight to you," I said, breaking our silence.
The outline of him rippled.
"or you come to me, whoevers fast enough.." I made sure he heard the smile in my voice. I spotted the bus. It made its way slowly up the hill.
Those last couple moments felt so strange and surreal.
The bus made its way towards me, and jin's little laugh after I finished. It was strange, like something out of a book. Like this moment was written. (haha)
"You wait for me" I whispered into the phone, before ending the call. My mind now set on home.
-
Home wasn't far. But it wasn't close. It was in the irritating middle way. Too far to regularly visit but short enough for it to be still light when you got there.
Jeewoo was sat on the steps of the appartement a cigarette in his hand as he watched the neighbours string up Christmas lights.
Rolled my eyes as i approached. I thought i beat that habit out of him... Only space for one smoker in this family.
"oi, dickhead" I hissed, kicked his knee. He hadn't yet seen me, too distracted by the public hanging of santa.
"gimme that" I pulled the thing out of his hands, throwing it on the floor.
He looked like a kicked puppy.
"hey-"
"don't look at me like that. Told you to do that when I'm not around- wasting these on you?" i scoffed
"you weren't around-" he tried to fight, but he saw the look on my face. He sighed, smoke coming out and billowing onto my shirt.
Jeewoo sighed and handed me the box
"you'd steal them anyway" he pouted, before he tried to run off, his tail between his legs.
"ah ah ah-" I grabbed his bag.
"-and never smoke in your uniform, it will linger. Rookie mistake."
He seemed to not have heard, but he's a liar.
"ahh you never listen" i slung my arm around him, even though the smell was still there.
"You'll die early. And that's embarrassing, so don't" I yawned, flicking his forehead.
He groaned.
I felt slightly guilty, yet it is my duty. Im hypocritical.
"Is the threat still in the lift?" I said, gesturing to the iron doors ahead. Referring to the death threats a neighbour had graffitied inside. Aimed at me.
I didn't wait for a response. "don't care ain't going. Can't have my face ruined. It's my greatest asset."
"sure it is. Along with all the rubbish you chat. Must get you everywhere!" He tried to kick the back of my knees but I'm not blind.
"says the smoker whose lifelong dream is to play basketball-" I snickered and ran upstairs before he threw a table.
The true art of siblings is the insults that make no sense.
I beat the jeewoo to the door. I would have waited for him if it wasn't for the gift of seeing my mum again.
"mum-" i yelled, pushing through. the hallway had gotten piled with more books. Confused as I tried not to trip on what seemed someone's entire life collection.
"mum-" I called again, finally out of the hallway, but my foot caught onto someone's bag and I fell into the coffee table.
I think I chipped my tooth, but that was the least of my worries.
"you're such an idiot." I heard jeewoo from the hallway. I finally tried to lift my head but I was winded
"don't be horrible" I heard her voice. It was hoarse. Not like she hadn't spoken in hours, more like she hadn't stopped talking ever since she got home.
"mum-" I saw her slippers first. The butterfly slippers she had gotten one year for mother's day. She refused to throw them away, even when the fifth hole appeared.
I jumped up, feeling suddenly light headed.
She beamed, her arms outstretched like she had them there the whole time.
It was nice. That moment often replays in my head again and again in the years to come. The healthiest she's ever looked. And the happiest.
I pulled her into a hug. I suddenly felt more human than I had in weeks. I wasn't an idol, a coworker, a friend. I was her son. And that was possibly the best feeling I had felt in months.
A feeling of being unconditionally loved, not having to prove myself. But also the feeling of having her back, that she was ok, that she was smiling.
"Mum" I mumbled, burying my head into her carigen. I could feel tears coming to my eyes, but today, it was out of happiness.
"oh my days bro he's such a cry baby" i heard jeewoo in the kitchen going through the cupboards "always has been bro i can't"
"Why does he speak like that?" I heard dowoons voice, his tongue ready to lash out and make snarky comments. While jeewoo insulted me, dowoon insulted jeewoo. There's no respect in our trio.
"shush shush-" mum huffed, not letting me go.
"jisungs always been a bit sensitive, it's alright-" She fussed. I cringed but something about it made me not mind.
"Mummy's boy"
(a/n. i cannot believe i updated.