"Hi." I heard a voice say as I sat at the desk waiting to teach the final portion of this class. This morning was a dark and dreary one. I felt deep down inside that there was something clearly wrong. "Hello." I turned my head and realized it was Lieutenant Dixon. "Good morning Dixon. How are you this morning?" I asked as he sat down. After about twenty seconds of shuffling around he got up and walked towards me. "I know you like someone else, but would you mind going to dinner with me tonight?" He smiled as his hands tried to grab mine, but I resisted and placed mine in the pockets of my coat. "No. I'm so sorry. I have obligations with Lieutenant Schneider. I'm so sorry." I smiled at the thought of Nick's last name. "Well, I understand. I'm going to go to the restroom really quickly. Will you watch my stuff?" He asked kindly and I shook my head. Nick didn't show up to eat breakfast with me this morning like I had asked him. Today is our last day together and it just hurts that he would do this. I truly did feel a deep sense of betrayal when he did not show up. The door slammed open against the wall with a lot of force. "Marion." I heard a voice call. "Nick?" I questioned deeply, but soon regret my question when time passed along further. The door slammed shut. "What the... gosh darn heck are you doing here? I'm going to murder..." the man said as he turned the corner into the classroom. "Lieutenant Anderson. Oh my goodness, what are you doing here?" I stood up in the middle of the room. "I'm rather forced to be here by the commanders. I didn't show up yesterday and they thought I went AWOL. I explained that I didn't understand why. Here I am today." His threatening behavior made me sick to my stomach. "Right, welcome to class." I said trying to keep my perfect composure.
He stepped closer... and closer... until I heard the door click open. He backed away and in walked Lieutenant Dixon. I felt so much better. "Lieutenant Wright, are you okay?" Dixon whispered in my ear. "Yes he didn't do anything, but please stay in here until Nick comes." I finally heard the door click open again and six other men walked in. Three were German and the rest were French. After that more Spanish soldiers showed up. Nick finally walked in the door and traveled over to me. "Nick, where have you been?" I asked quietly. His arms wrapped around my back and I did the same to him. He gave me a few quick free breath mints in my pocket, then took a seat in the front row right in front of my desk. All of the guys just stared at me. I caught a few laughing and throwing weird gestures at me. Every time I would look up from my doodling paper I saw Nick smiling at me along with both Lieutenant Dixon and Lieutenant Anderson giving me death stares.
I got a running tally of who was present. Finally everyone was there and I was silently rejoicing to get this shindig done and over with. "Good morning everyone. Today is the last fateful day before we are all in with the war. We have to give it our best shot." I literally felt as If I was making things up just to kill time. "Look guys, I have nothing. I don't have anything to tell you today. Everything is just so bad I haven't even thought about..." Nick raised his hand and I pointed to him. "Tonight there is a farewell deployment party in hangar 12. Anyone is welcome. Formal dress." He looked up at me and I smiled. "Thanks Nick for the information. I guess I can briefly touch on something, but overall I have nothing. There is another form that you all need to fill out." I passed out each form and when I got to Nick he asked me if I wanted to go out in the hall with him. I said yes and we walked out to the hall. "Marion, are you okay?" He tried to kiss me but I dodged the bullet. "No, where were you this morning? This is our last day together probably for ever." I held the dam of tears in. He knew I was mad at him just based on the tone of my voice. "Marion, I have a surprise for you tonight and I was busy getting that ready for you. Do you want to come with me to the party?" He whispered in my ear. I almost instantly forgave him and fell back in love with him. "Alright... I don't have anything formal to wear. You can wear your uniform, but I got nothing." I tried to keep myself calm. "It's alright." We walked back in the classroom and I finished handing out the form to Nick. "Alright same concept as yesterday: once done raise your hand and I will come over to you." I sat there and doodled planes on my paper.
My heart pounded faster and faster knowing that the clock was ticking on the wall. I could hear it and it was almost as if each second got louder. Almost half the men raised their hands at the same time. I checked each one with accuracy. Lieutenant Anderson raised his hand and I walked over there quietly. He sat in the very back where Nick sat yesterday. "Done." He snapped at me, but clearly was still trying to flirt. I checked his page over and tried to read through the terrible handwriting. The writing was nearly ineligible. After determining he had it all right I said, "great job and thank you for that." I took the paper, but then he clasped my wrist. "Marion, you're such a disappointment. Don't you even think of crying out to your little boyfriend over there. He's German too! He sucks and you do too." His grasp tightened clearly signaling the fact that he hates me. My wrist was throbbing and my head began to get nauseous. He saw the ring on my left middle finger. "What's this?" His voice was angry but quiet. "It's nothing." I denied but he knew the truth. "Fine, Lieutenant Anderson, Nick and I... Please just leave us alone. I don't know why you keep bothering me." I quietly begged. He loosened his grip and I was able to walk back up front. I slipped my hand in my pocket as I went to Nick and Officer Dixon. "That you all for doing that. "
I proceeded to stand up at the front and begin a last second phony, full of garbage lecture. "You all have something so wonderful and interesting to do. This is now the time where we take control of our flying careers." I felt like I was just rambling until my two hours were finally up. Nick stayed after and walked up to my desk. "Hey love." He said. I looked at the ground sheepishly. "I will take you to the party tonight. Would you come with me?" He asked very politely. "Yes I'd love to." I stood up and he walked a little closer. "Come on Marion, this could be the end. It's only for two hours and that's it. I know this is rough, but we can do this." His voice was calm and reassuring.
After escaping from Nick for a moment I decided to take a tour of the front of the base. I knew there was a female desk attendant who most likely had a dress for me to wear. I walked up to her to ask a question regarding formal wear. "Hi, I'm Marion and I'm wondering if you maybe have a dress I could wear tonight? I really love this pilot and it's our last little bit together." I tapped my foot against the desk in pure acts of nervousness. "Ahh, my name is Tilly." She spoke in a thick German accent. "You love him? This war has me down too. I'm losing my pilot tomorrow too. I've got a dress. I always bring a few extras. Here I think this one fits you." She took a black dress out of her drawer. It looked pretty tight, but I'll wear it. "Oh my gosh thank you. I'll return it later tonight." She looked at me with repulsion," nope you can keep it." I said thanks and left.
Nick and I ate lunch together and had a pleasant conversation about the sky and flying. It's both of our passions. Right before dinner I had to go back to my bunker and change. I let all the men in my unit use the restrooms while I walked to a distant restroom down the hall. I slipped my shirt off and pulled my pants off. I pulled out my extra pair of black shoes I brought in my duffel before I left the room. They were flat bottom shoes, but still comfortable enough to wear for long periods of time. I slipped the dress over my head and slipped my arms through the sleeves. The sleeves were capped and the dress' neck dipped down considerably far, but it was still somewhat modest. The bottom only traveled to my knees. It was tight in the bodice, but loose and flowing at the bottom. I combed my hair so it sat so perfectly on my shoulders. I did find a curling iron and decided to curl it to the best of my ability. It was pure fun spinning around in the awkward shaped mirror. I took my knee high socks off and placed my feet in the shoes. I put my favorite smelling lotion on my freshly shaven legs from earlier today. I moisturized my face and looked in the mirror. My phone got a text from Nick. He was just telling me where to go. Since I never wear makeup I didn't have to worry about that. I walked back to the barrack and put my old clothes in my duffel bag. I then shut the door and left.
Walking down the corridor was lonely. It was bone chilling. The corridors always bring back my post traumatic stress disorder due to the unknown they possessed. It always took me back to the time in America where I witnessed someone die a rough death in a corridor. I got to the end of the hall when I noticed someone familiar. "Marion..." the sharp voice said, almost piercing my soul. "Lieutenant Anderson." I kept walking but then his hand grabbed my same wrist he hurt earlier. "I'll let you go to the party on one condition: you quit flying." His voice snapped at me arrogantly. "No one will ever..." I was able to wriggle my way free and exit the building. He stayed behind.
When I went into the aircraft hangar I saw Nick in the corner talking in German with some of his luftwaffe friends. I swallowed hard and began my trek over there. Everyone had their friends and girlfriends there. Nick still hadn't noticed me yet, but everyone else did. People were watching the awkward girl walk into a very high end military formal. I bit my bottom lip that was coated in my cheap piña colada chapstick. Nick's friends left and then he turned around. It was like a moment frozen in time. I couldn't breathe. He looked so cute in his formal uniform. My dress matched his uniform perfectly. The black and green of his uniform stood out against my black dress. We stood there for a second and looked at each other. "Marion, you are gorgeous." He said as he walked closer to me. I could smell the potent jet fuel on him from when he apparently spilled some earlier. His arms wrapped me in a tight embrace. "Ahh, Nick." I mumbled under my breath. "You look so good." I said. His hands wandered down to just above my hips. They had some soft music playing from a stereo in the corner. "Thank you Nicholas." I smiled. He signaled to a table. "Would you like to eat now?" He asked. I said yes and we walked over to his friend's table. I saw Dixon watching from a distance. When I walked over with Nick his friends watched me hold his hand. "So Nick, what's happening?" One of them asked which I found funny. "This is happening." Nicholas smirked and gave me a quick kiss. They laughed and smiled, then we got our food.
Upon returning Nick pulled my chair out so I could sit down. He then pushed my chair in until I was comfortable. He sat down next to me. "So I take it this is Marion?" One of them asked in near perfect English. "Yes, yes I am Marion. Für deinen Freunde: ja, ja ich heiße Marion." They all smiled when I spoke their language. The food tasted so good. They had deli sandwiches with a bean salad. I was in heaven: Nick by my side, good food, and Aviation. I finished all of the food on my plate after Nick did. "Want more?" Nick asked. "Uhm just a little." That was all I said. The food tasted unlike anything I have ever had before. "A little more salad." He took my plate and got me some more. He put my salad on his plate with his food so he wouldn't have to carry two plates. "Danke mein Liebling." I said as He sat down. The music got louder when we finished the small plate of food. "They have dessert, do you want some?" He asked politely. "I'm not much of a sugar person. Depends on what it is." I swayed in my chair to the music. "Bavarian cake. It's vanilla." I accepted his offer only if we could share and he agreed.
I was watching his friends with their girlfriends. They were all giddy and happy. I was giddy and happy with Nick. "Here baby." Nick said out loud. He accidentally got rid of my fork when taking my plate back, so we just used his. "Oh my, that's good." Was what I said after he gave me a bite of cake. "See." He joked while laughing in a considerably comical way. The music got louder and louder. They turned the lights down and people began to slow dance. Nick and I finally finished the cake and drank all of the tonic. "Would you care to dance?" He asked in the most sincere way ever. "Of course, why wouldn't I?" His warm hand took mine as we walked out to the floor. His hands held my lower back and I did the same to him. "So... this better not be us losing each other." I said. "It's not and I'm sure if it." He said in my ear.
Nick spun me around very gracefully only for me to fall back in his arms. His eyes stared into mine -so deep and I was lost. He leaned me against him and he hugged me. Someone over the microphone began to say, "I had a friend request this song for another friend." They began to play the song and it was none other than my favorite song. I looked up at Nick who was smiling. His hand traveled up to my cheek where he brushed my hair back behind my ear. "Mar, I love you." He smiled. "Love you too Nicholas." He gave me a few little kisses. When he pulled away I reached back for him and stole a few more kisses. Everyone was watching but we didn't care. As time went on the music got sadder and slower. Nick and I really just stood to the side hugging and not wanting to let go. We finally made our way back to the floor where everyone else was dancing. For a second I felt good, at home, and at peace In Nick's grasp. "Marion?" Nick asked. "What..." I replied quietly. "Do you want to go for a walk? I need to show you something." I politely agreed and he took me hand then we walked out.
He took me through a long long corridor that seemingly went on forever. It connected to a big room where a box sat in the corner. There was a rose that sat on top of the box. "Marion." He pushed me along with his hand against my back. "Here, please open the box." I pulled off the perfectly tied bow. The box flapped open and I saw a remove before the flight tag. I took that out then I dug deeper and pulled out a jacket. It was a dark green bomber jacket. There were patches that covered it. One side had my name embroidered on it. "Try it on Mar." he helped me put it on. It fit perfectly so with plenty of room to spare. "How did you know I was a medium?" I asked him. "When I first found you I picked up your flight bag and looked through it. Sorry. You had a spare jacket in there and I saw you were a medium." He sheepishly looked away, but my hand brought his chin back towards my gaze. "It's all good! I really appreciate it Nick." I took the jacket off because it was quite warm. I set it back on the chair and pulled Nick into a tight hug. "Hmm thanks love." I said. "You're welcome Mar." we swayed back and forth for a second. "Do you want to go back now?" He asked. "Sure." He carried my jacket for me and hooked on the remove before flight tag onto the sleeve zipper. His hand held mine and we giddily walked down the hall with our hips glued together. For a moment I forgot that this could be our last moment together forever. When we came to the hangar door he stopped me. "Wait Mar." he carried me bridal style and joked around. "Put me down!" I laughed as he spun me around. He just wanted to have fun and he wanted a good laugh. "This is not the end... Mar, I love you and I just want you to know that this is only the beginning." His eyes looked deep into mine. For another moment in time I was reminded of how much he loves me. The man door to the hangar opened and a couple of Nick's friends walked out. "Hey Nick." Günter said. Honestly they scared Nick and I. We were laughing when Nick put me down.
The sky was near pitch black. The only thing that illuminated was the runway lights in the distance. "Hey, sorry." He apologized to them. "Oh no it's alright. You guys are great." Günter said as he walked by. Nick and I walked back inside where we heard women sobbing like crazy. "Hey Adel, are you alright?" Nick asked his friend Adel. He was comforting a short blonde haired woman. She was buried against him. "Adel, please don't leave me bitteschön." The woman said. "This is Lina. She's from east Germany." Adel said quietly. She was at his feet holding onto him pleading for him to not go. I felt so bad for Lina. Her dress was soaked with tears. Adel picked her up and sat her down next to him on the side bench. He gave her pain filled kisses. After finishing our short conversation Nick and I followed the announcer's instructions and stood on the dance floor.
They gave their farewell address and began the last 30 minutes of slow dance music. This time the songs had no words. It was just pure emotion coming from the soldiers and their girlfriends. I was the only female there that was a soldier -a pilot. One of the couples that was standing next to us began to fall into each other's arms and cry their hearts out. I could smell and taste the sadness. I looked back over and still saw Lina hanging onto Adel. My heart slowly cracked as I looked back into the eyes of the man I love: Nicholas Schneider. We were the youngest couple there. A 20 year old and an 18 year old getting lost in both the war and each other's eyes. "Will it be okay?" I whispered to Nick in a somber tone. His arms tightened around my waist bringing me as close as possible to him. "Mein ein und alles..." he began to say, but I understood the translation. He's so perfect for me and he is always so cute. "It will be alright just trust me. It's only for a bit of time."
The tears picked up again as women were literally balling their eyes out and hanging onto their pilots for dear life. Women were cursing in German as they were breaking apart. I felt the same way -breaking apart centimeter by centimeter. My heart hurt so bad to the point of no return. Nick and I wouldn't let go until they shut the party down. How I would miss the smell of his pilot cologne: jet fuel. I would miss his eyes staring deep into my soul. My gosh, I was getting so depressed about how much I would miss his smooth kisses and buttery soft hair. I'd feel empty inside. He fills my void that was caused by a lot of things in my life. "Marion love..." his cheeks were stained with my tears. "What?" I replied. I felt his hands loosen, but then I tightened the gap. "I have to run to the restroom really quickly. Stay here." He said, but I suddenly remembered that I couldn't stay, especially with Anderson and Dixon. "I'll come with you and I'll just wait outside." I said in his ear. "Alright that's fine." He replied.
We walked out of the hangar and into one of the barracks. His hand never let go of mine until we reached the restroom. I waited out in the hallway until he came back. It was only one minute of me standing there. My back leaned up against the wall and my eyes wandered the hallway. "Hey baby." I heard a voice call. I looked and no one was there. After not seeing anything alarming I felt a hand run down my arm. "Curse you Marion!" I turned my head at the sound of the voice. "Lieutenant Anderson? Why do you keep following me? Leave me alone!" He took my arm, but I yanked it away. All he wants to do is kill me because I am a woman flying planes. It seems that no one wants me around. "Look at you... a mess. You're broken dear. This German pilot isn't going to do anything for you. He's a psycho idiot that wants to kill you." His voice pierced my soul. "Nick help!" I called. "Listen Anderson, you stay out of my business and stay away from Nick. He doesn't want me killed, you do." I said quietly. "You're going to die in this war. Women aren't meant to be pilots. You are useless, just here to get gain." He yelled at me causing my emotions to spiral even more. "Really? Women are meant to rise above people like you. I did that. If I die trying, then good." I said as I struggled to keep myself focused. He pushed me against the wall and I could feel the pain in my head as it hit the corner of the wall. "Mar I got you." Nick pulled me out of his grasp. He pushed me into the restroom. I crawled to the far corner in shame and buried my head in my knees. My dress flopped up a little so I fixed it, but I didn't care.
The men were fighting over something stupid: me. I continued to sob in the corner until I heard footsteps in the bathroom. "No, I don't need help." I mumbled under my breath. The steps continued until I felt two hands pick me up. The person sat back down in the corner and placed me on their leg. "Marion." His voice broke. "Don't worry, he is all gone now. I do not know what his deal is with you. I assume he despises you." His voice was reassuring. My eyes opened only to find Nick's beautiful face staring back at me. I looked into his eyes only to fall harder for him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he hugged me tightly. He helped me stand up and get back on my feet. "Are you alright?" He asked kindly. I smiled and replied, "thank you and yes." My hand found his as I gently pressed my aching body against the wall. Nick walked closer. "Wait Nick" I said. "He didn't hurt you did he?" Nick asked. My eyes drifted to see my trashy looking face in the mirror. This was the worst I have looked since the acne filled middle school. I felt like a total loser that shouldn't even be here. My mind was clouded and my vision was blurry. I have already experienced too much trauma and I haven't even made it to the true frontlines. "No. Yes he did." I corrected myself as I showed him the finger marks on my arm. "Oh, Marion." He said quietly.
I let out quiet sobs into his arm as he comforted me. "Mar can I?" He asked. I stayed silent not knowing what he was referring to. "What do you mean?" I asked him. "Can I take you back to the party now?" He began to loosen his arms around me, but I made him stay. This was our last few moments together so I wanted him to be as close as possible. We finally walked down the hallway and back to the hangar. When we walked in the hangar man door Nick put his arm around my waist and smiled shyly. Most of the people were all hanging and chatting. Nick's friends found us again. I noticed I was the only American hanging out with the Germans. All of the other Americans were chatting in the corner. They did not have anyone to dance with because they already said goodbye to their significant others. It was only Lieutenant Grover and I that had someone to say goodbye to. He met a little Austrian woman that liked to take photos of planes taking off. "Hey, vielen Dank!" one of his friends named Hans said. Hans was a short guy, a very short guy. "Wir danken dir." Nick responded. The last five minutes of music played as the room silenced. The only thing making noise was the tears falling from eyes and the sweet sound of lips kissing goodbye. "Marion?" Nick asked. I looked up at him. "Hmm." I mumbled.
His alluring yet heavy lips brushed mine. The music got louder and louder to cover up the violent crying coming from both men and women. I could still hear moments of wailing when the music came to quiet sections. It sounded like one hundred and twenty decibels of pure cacophony. I could feel each of these people's emotions plus my own. The atmosphere was thick and heavy. It seemed like this was the end -the end of us and the end of the world. We all knew what was coming -death: it is inevitable. Nick made his way to kissing me. The vibe was dark -it ate at my soul. Everyone was crying as they swayed back and forth in the comfort of their pilot's arms. The wordless music set apart the whole show too. Shoulders sagged and there was merely any confidence left. The knife was slowly digging deeper and deeper into each person's wound.