You know the saying 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder?' Well, I don't think it applies in this situation.
This is awkward AF
We walk into the rundown living room and look around, and I can basically see the entire house from this one room.
The kitchen is tiny with an eat-in area. There's seriously no island? Wait...Hold up! IS THERE NO DISHWASHER?!?!
As I'm about to close my eyes and hope that I'll wake up from this hellish nightmare, Holden clears his throat.
"See, uh.......I kinda have a situation," he starts, scratching the back of his neck with his hand and blowing out a breath.
When neither of us say anything, he nods and bites his bottom lip. "Eventually I want to get a bigger house, but teachers don't really make a lot of money.....I only have two bedrooms......"
At our matching looks of horror, Holden holds out his hand. "Ok ok, don't hurt me yet, I have a plan!"
"I've sectioned the bigger of the two rooms off, and there's a black partition separating it so you guys will have privacy."
When our looks don't change, he slumps his shoulders.
"Guys, I found out about this yesterday at 3. I pulled an all-nighter and worked like a mad man, switching my room out. My room was bigger so I figured it would be the smartest thing to do. I promise this is only temporary until I can figure something else out."
Tate simply walks down the small hall and peeks in the rooms until he sees ours, and goes in quietly. Holden and I follow after him and stop, staring at what he is.
Two twin mattresses, without bed frames, on the floor...
"I need you guys to just REALLY keep an open mind. I promise I'll get you beds...."
Tate looks at me and shrugs. "Which side?"
"Don't care."
He nods as he goes to the right side and puts his suitcase down, laying on his mattress silently and turning to his side, facing the wall.
"When's the last time you two ate? I can make you something...." Holden says quietly to me.
"I just want to go to sleep," I say. It's after eleven, and I feel like I'm going to pass out.
Holden nods and acts like he wants to say something. After a minute he sighs and rests his hand on my shoulder. "If you need me at all during the night, come get me. Anything in the kitchen is yours...Just don't go to the ocean, ok?"
I can't decide if he actually wanted an answer, so I just ignore him as I sit on my bed and look at the wall.
This blows
~*~
I get pajamas out of my suitcase and get dressed, fighting the urge to cry. As I lay in my bed, I can't decide if Tate is asleep or not—He hasn't even changed out of his clothes yet.
After about half an hour I decide to get a drink of water. I can't sleep all night with such a dry throat.
I make it down the hall when I hear Holden speaking in hushed tones. "Baby I'm sorry...No, you can't stay tonight...I know but their worlds just got flipped upside down and I'm not having a woman they've never met before sleep over...I get it, I'm devastated too. This wasn't how my life was supposed to go......All I wanted was to get away from my shit-show of a family and now I'm stuck raising them!....Just give me some time to get them settled, please?........."
I can't keep listening as I walk quickly back to our room.
Holden doesn't want me—Nobody ever wants me.
I lay back in bed and some tears leak out of my eyes and fall down my cheeks. It feels like I'm living a nightmare that I can't wake up from, and it's suffocating me.
I feel Tate before I hear him as he pulls my blankets away and climbs in. I turn over to face him, and I see tears glistening in his eyes from the moonlight.
"You ok?" He sniffs, trying his best to keep from crying.
"No. You?"
He shakes his head, and I see a tear leak out of his eye and roll slowly down his nose. "This is bullshit, Jules. We're literally living with a stranger. I don't know him!"
"Well, we used to know him," I say gently as I rub his arm.
He simply shakes his head as he pulls me against him. "Can I sleep with you tonight?" He whispers.
I nod as I rest my head on his shoulder and he silently takes my hand.
We spent the last night in our old house together, and the first night in our new. Is this symbolic? We sure as hell haven't come full circle, so I don't know what the crap this means.
I drift in and out of sleep all night, but I really don't sleep well at all. I'm not used to all of the noises this house makes, and the mattress isn't nearly as comfortable as my old one.
I'm not sure what time it is, but I wake up to our door creaking open. I pretend like I'm sleeping and can see Holden peek over, using the light on his phone—He realizes Tate isn't in his bed.
I can tell he starts to panic as he rushes over to my side and shines the light, and I hear him sigh in relief when he sees both of us.
Once he takes the light off of us and shuts it off, I open my eyes and can see his silhouette. He leans against the wall and slides down it. When he is sitting, he brings his knees up to his chest and runs his hands through his hair.
I have no idea how long he stays like that, but it's a long time. After forever, I drift back to sleep and I don't wake up until the morning glow hits my face. When I look at the wall, Holden isn't there anymore.
~*~
I lay in bed for a long time, refusing to get up until Tate does. When he finally stirs, his eyes are bloodshot. If I didn't know any better, I'd think he was up all night—But I know for a fact he got more sleep than I did.
He jumps up, disoriented and forgetting where he is for a moment. I wish I could forget
"Shit it wasn't a nightmare," he groans, running his hands through his hair and looking out the window.
"I'm starving. When's the last time we ate?" He finally rasps.
"The breakfast smoothies Cook made us yesterday morning."
He lets out a groan as he helps me out of bed, and when we walk into the kitchen, Holden is there drinking coffee at the table and scrolling through his phone.
"Morning," he grins as he stands up and walks over to us.
"If you guys go get dressed, we can walk to the diner down the street. Are you hungry?"
Tate ignores him as he goes back into our room, and I follow after. As Tate is on his side getting dressed, I do the same. I'm having actual hunger pains right now, which I've never had before in my life.
When we both get back out to Holden, he silently walks out of the house and holds the door open for us.
"This town is stupid small, but I love it. Everyone will know you and you will know everyone. Even though I have a car, I don't really need to drive anywhere. You can basically get anywhere you need to go by walking."
As we walk the boardwalk, we see several people with fanny packs and cameras, and Holden rolls his eyes. "It's also a big tourist town, but you will get used to it."
"Doubtful," Tate mutters, and Holden ignores him as he walks to a small building called '2nd Street Cafe'.
He walks in, making the little bell ding above the door. When he goes to a corner booth and sits down, several people wave to him and stare at us.
Fantastic
I sit across from Holden and ignore him as I pick up a menu he hands me. Tate does the same, and when a pretty waitress comes up, she gives Holden a huge smirk.
"You're never here on a Saturday morning! What's up?"
He gives her his smile and she immediately blushes...He hasn't lost his looks any from what I can remember.
"My brother and sister are living with me. Evelyn, this is Tate and Julianne."
"Oh! Well it's nice to meet you. I thought you were an only child," she says, and Holden shifts uncomfortably.
Tate scoffs as he slams his menu down on the table. "Nice, brother. So you not only abandon us, you pretend we don't exist...How's that working for ya? I'll take an order of pancakes, your chicken fried steak and eggs, a side of hash browns, bacon, and some biscuits. And some orange juice."
Holden's jaw drops open from Tate's big order, and when the waitress looks at me I simply shrug. "I'll take the biscuits and gravy."
When the waitress leaves, Holden clears his throat. "I never pretended like you didn't exist....At least, not in my mind...I thought about you guys constantly. It was just easier to tell people.....You probably think I'm a complete asshole....."
"Yup....." Tate says as he gets on his phone and starts scrolling. I keep myself entertained, watching all the people walking on the boardwalk so I can avoid staring at my brother.
"Annie, what's wrong? You won't look at me at all this morning," Holden says softly after about ten minutes of my people watching.
When I look at him, his eyes still look exhausted. He holds my gaze, begging me to talk to him.
"I heard you on the phone last night. I know you don't want us."
Tate looks up at me and then over at Holden, who has closed his eyes in horror and stays completely still for a minute. When he finally opens his eyes again, his face is serious and devastated.
"I'm not going to come up with an excuse, Julianne. I had a plan for my life and raising two teenagers wasn't it. I'm sorry. It's just taking me a minute to get over my pity party."
Before Tate can snap off at him, the lady fills the entire table with plate after plate of food. Tate doesn't even wait for her to finish setting everything down before he inhales his hash browns in three bites.
"Shit!" Holden hisses as he looks at me in horror. "Seriously, when's the last time you two ate?"
"Yesterday morning we had a smoothie," I say.
Holden blows out a breath and looks at the waitress. "Evelyn, could you bring her some bacon and toast too, please?"
When the waitress nods and leaves, he watches us eat for a minute before he clears his throat. "We're gonna make a great trio...Two starving kids and the idiot who didn't think to feed them."