"Where are you going to go?" I ask as I try to keep my tone steady, masking the terror I feel bubbling.
"I don't know...But I'm not staying here," he shrugs as he takes a drink of his water and wipes his mouth with his cloth napkin.
"But what about me?"
He scoffs as he picks his fork back up and cuts another piece of chicken, sticking it in his mouth.
"What about you?!?! I swear you always find a reason to be miserable! Get out and do something once in a while. You mope around here all damn day, expecting me to feel sorry for you! I don't!"
"How do I expect you to feel sorry for me?"
"The pathetic looks you give me all the time at school? Find your own friends and quit expecting me to hold your hand all of the time!"
"I have no interest in being friends with you and your druggie morons! It would just be nice if you acknowledged me once in a while!"
He rolls his eyes as he pushes his plate away. "You're pathetic, Jules! You insult me and my friends and then expect us to have sympathy for you? Quit acting like you're better than the rest of us!"
"Who's acting?" I mumble as I scoot the chicken around on my plate.
He chuckles darkly and points his finger at me. "This is what I'm talking about...You embarrass me! Start acting like a human and people won't be so repulsed by you!"
He gets up from the table and walks towards the winding staircase, and I hang my head and close my eyes.
I don't know what I do wrong
A gentle hand gets placed on my shoulder, and I look up to see Cook with his soft smile and chocolate eyes.
"He's crankier than a two-pecker'd Billy Goat, Miss Julianne. Why don't I make you a hot fudge sundae to help sweeten up the sour he just spewed."
"Thanks Cook," I grin at him. As the heavy-set old man walks back into the kitchen, I stare at Tate's half-eaten plate of food.
Wonder what I'll do all night tonight now that he's mad at me...
~*~
As I'm getting ready for bed, I decide to knock on his door. He's all I have in this life and I won't be able to sleep tonight if he's mad at me.
When I knock, a gentle "come in" floats through the cracks and immediately lightens my mood. At least he's allowing me near him
When I go in, he's dressed in only shorts as he lays on his stomach and scrolls through his phone. He doesn't look up as I sit on the edge of his bed, and when he finally glances at me I give him a sad smile.
"Sorry...."
He closes out of his app and sits up, throwing his phone on the bed as he blows out a big breath.
"You apologize too much...That shows weakness," he grumbles as he pulls me down so both of our heads hit his pillow, and I snuggle up against him.
As we lay there for a while in silence, I wish I could read his mind. "You still doing drugs?" I finally ask.
I feel his body tense as he sits up, knocking my head off of him roughly and turning to charge his phone. When he lays back down and shuts his lamp off, the dark stuns me for a minute.
"Don't ask me that again, Julianne," he breathes as he covers me up and flips over on his side, his back facing me.
He doesn't usually even let me in his room, and he never lets me lay with him.
I'm going to enjoy this one night where I'm not completely alone, and ignore the unanswered questions he left me with.
~*~
The next morning I wake to his alarm blaring, and I push on his shoulder.
"We've gotta get up," I moan as the light of the sun hurts my eyes.
"No we don't. What will they do?" He mumbles as he shuts off his phone and rolls until his cheek is on my shoulder.
"Weren't you worried about ISS yesterday?"
"That was yesterday... Today I'm worried about sleep," he mumbles.
"Ok, but if you miss today you won't be able to compete in your surfing competition on Saturday, will you?"
His eyes pop open as he props himself on his elbows and leans his head back, growling in frustration. "Damn you and your logic."
He flips the covers off of him and stands up, walking into his bathroom to pee.
"You actually use your bathroom, huh?" I chuckle as I head to my room and get myself ready.
When we meet downstairs, Cook hands us our lunches and gives us to-go breakfast smoothies since we're running late.
"Thanks Cook," I smile as I stand on my tiptoes and kiss his cheek, making his eyes twinkle at me. "Have a good day Miss Julianne...Mister Tate," he says in a more clipped tone to my brother.
Tate raises his eyebrows at him, but stays silent as we head to the limo.
"I don't think that man likes me very much," he says as he scoots over so I can climb in.
I ignore him as I take a drink of my strawberry banana smoothie, smiling when I can tell he also added whipped cream. That's my favorite!
"Ick! He put spinach in mine," Tate grimaces as he gags on his big gulp.
"You can't taste it when it's mixed with the fruit, Tate."
"I can! I hate spinach! Why does yours look more pink than mine?" He whines as he takes it out of my hand and takes a drink. "This one tastes so much better. Cook officially hates me!"
"You're dramatic," I sigh as I drink my breakfast and enjoy the last couple of minutes where he pays any attention to me. The second I walk into our second world is the second I'm all on my own.
~*~
"Julianne, come here for a minute," Mr. Donnell says as he uses his finger to motion me forward. When I walk up to his desk, he hands me a slip of paper.
"Am I in trouble?" I ask with a pit in my stomach as I see that I've been summoned to the Dean.
"I'm not sure, but you better hurry."
I grab my things and go to the office, trying to wrack my mind with what I could have done.... Did I accidentally roll my eyes at Mrs. Rhodes? I could've sworn I only did it in my head.
When I walk in the cold office, the secretary gives me a funny smile. Am I actually in that much trouble?
"Have a seat next to your brother, Julianne," she says softly as she points, and it's then that I see Tate sitting against a wall next to a window and actually looking at me. He's confused too
I sit next to him and he raises his eyebrows. "What did you do?"
"Me? I've never been called to the office before! Did you do something to get us both in trouble?"
He scrunches up his face to think, and then simply shrugs. "I have no idea," he sighs as he leans back in his chair and rests his head against the wall, closing his eyes.
"How are you so relaxed? I'm freaking!" I hiss in his ear.
He opens an eye to look at me and then closes it again. "Dad will take care of it."
We sit there for a long time...Probably ten minutes...And the suspense is killing me. I don't want to be expelled!
My body is reacting to my nervous mind, and my legs starts to bounce. Tate gets sick of it after a moment and he silently puts his heavy hand on my leg to still it.
"Calm down," he says in an irritated tone as he looks back out the window.
"Don't you think it's weird we've been sitting here for so long?"
"No...At least it got me out of calc."
"I'm stressed, Tate!"
"I'd give you a hit, but that probably wouldn't be smart since the Dean is in the other room," he chuckles.
"You have drugs on you right now?!?" I hiss in hysteria.
"Shut. Up!"
I clamp my mouth shut and lean back, desperate to hide in my bed with the covers over me...Nothing bad happens under the covers. The scary stays away under the covers.
When the Dean finally opens the door, even Tate stiffens when we see two officers and someone in a suit walk out and stop in front of us.
"Tate and Julianne Thompson?" The pretty lady with blonde hair asks softly as she gives us a warm smile.
"Who wants to know?" Tate asks, his voice scary and unrecognizable. I wanna look to make sure it's actually still him, but I'm frozen in fear as I stare at her and not the officers on either side.
"Why don't we all talk in my office," Dean Waters says, looking uncomfortable and shooting us looks of pity.
"No thanks," Tate sighs as he leans back in his chair and looks completely at ease, while I'm scared shitless.
"Mr. Thompson, there's some things that need discussed and it would be better if this were done in private." The Dean says
"Fine. It's me you're wanting, so let her leave. Then we can talk."
I look at him, completely confused. Why would they want him?
"We need to talk to the both of you. Please follow us," the pretty lady says, making Tate's shoulders relax slightly.
I stand up and look at Tate, who finally gives in and stands up. When we walk into the office and sit down, the walls feel like they're going to cave in.
When one of the officers shuts the door, I'm longing for my bed even harder.
All I want to do is feel safe. Feel like I did last night when Tate and I slept under the covers, where the scary had to stay away and leave us alone.