"..."
"Here your highness. I brewed it and made it the way you like it."
"... Thanks."
Sakura sat by her balcony and looked out. A few days passed by after that discussion. No one brought it up or said anything to plan for capturing traitors or the sort. No one asked more questions or what her plan is.
'... I haven't seen father since that day...'
"Would you like a slice of cheesecake."
Raphael had already picked the slice from the assortment of sweets in the three tier cake stand.
She just nodded and kept her eyes out. Raphael did not say anything else. He just kept a warm smile but because Sakura has not looked at him once since that incident, she does not see it.
"... why."
"Yes?"
"Why are you all acting like nothing is wrong."
However she could not take the kindness any longer. The way they still treat her well after all she said drives her mad at how it appears like it wasn't anything. It stresses and angers her.
She just feels uncomfortable that not once did any of them barge in to reprimand her or scold her for all the things she hid. It made her feel like they actually did not care about it at all. But at the same time she was relieved. Relieved that they didn't leave her behind because of what they learned, especially Raphael.
"..."
"Are you not mad with how secretive I am? That I kept so much from you guys that could have answered so many questions you all may have had. That I was ready to use people with no remorse for their well being."
But she wanted to get scolded to be hated, she wanted a reason to turn from them and never look back while this place burns. She wanted an excuse to run from this emotions she holds for them.
"..."
"Why are you still treating me the same even when I hid so many twisted things and put an act with you all."
"Sakura."
She flinches and hates how her hearts softens when she hears him says her name. She turns to him and sees his tender smile and eyes that held no judgment or betrayal.
"I am hurt."
"!!"
She smiles in self mockery only to widen her eyes at his next words.
"I'm hurt that you believe just this much will ever push you away from me."
He holds her hand in his. His beautiful long fingers were rough from years of training but to her they felt as soft as silk. How the joints moved gracefully and smoothly distracted her from her thoughts full of disarray.
"I had raised you the day your mother gave you to me with her own hands and entrusted you to me. I would not lie, at the beginning I did it out of duty to both your mother and father when you where still in your mothers womb. However the moment you where in my arms I had felt as if I held the world. You were so tiny and frail, yet cried with such strength."
He watched how Sakura tried to keep her emotions in check but he sees the tears forming in her eyes. His smile showed his love and care and his hand moved to brush away the tears.
"All that you have done or would have done was not by a choice you made happily, but because of fear of a future where you lose everything that you had grown to love. I would never judge you for you actions. But I would if it leads to you endangering your life."
He looked deeply into her eyes and she saw the sadness through them.
"I feel pain that even when I am beside you, you couldn't confide in me. That you couldn't trust me, and I'm disappointed in myself that you had to do so much on your own because I was not trustworthy enough."
"No! That's not true! I trust you, I care for you and believe in you! Just that everytime I've lost you and you end up suffering with me!"
She shakes her head to his words her voice shaky by her growing emotions.
"You where always beside me... in so many lives... yet in all of them I caused your pain and suffering.... I just couldn't let that happen in this life too.... I just couldn't..."
Her tears fell and she held his hands on hers. Her small hands was only big enough to hold the fingers and her hold was trembling but strong.
"I'm glad to know you love me as much as I love you Sakura. But I know one thing from all the possible lives you must have witnessed through your dreams. That I would do anything for you. That even if you see me with a bad end, what mattered to me was I was beside you to care for you as much as I can. You may not be my child of blood Sakura. But you are my child I had watched grow."
He held her in his arms when she began to hiccuping with tears. She rested in his hold and cried with relief. She was truly relieved he didn't despise her for what she did. She truly cared for him. And she knew she cared for them all, even if she tried not to. But at least she began to care for them not by the influence of other emotions, but by her own emotions.
"The same I can say for your father Sakura."
"..."
"I understand you had witnessed a tragic vision of your futures sent by the gods. But so much has changed, you had done well this last four years, you had been able to interact with your father and create a bond not by just sharing blood. Your father cares for you, at the beginning he kept a distance for your protection, but that all changed when he noticed that even if he showed favor or not, you would still be hurt by those with bad intentions. Now he protects you close to him. In all those lives had that ever happened?"
"... no."
"See? Your future is already changing so much. Maybe your half-sister will appear again, but this time your father understands you enough to know whatever lies are said about you, that it is not like you to harm someone without reason."
"..."
"Understand your father loves you as much as I do. He just had a bit of a late start because of those nobles around him and fear of your life being endangered. But he would never not love you."
"..."
She remained silent in his arms and he did not force her to speak or convince her anymore than he can. He just wants her to see on her own her fathers heart and hopes they can interact like how they were able to.
"... where is papa?"
He smiles happily to see her opening up again, even if it is a bit at a time.
"He is in his room resting."
"At this time? It is almost noon!?"
She moved to look at Raphael with widen eyes. Her father was always up earlier than her to finish a bit of papers before eating breakfast with her, then heading out to work on government affairs after that.
He had never stayed away from work. The only time it had occured if she has gotten sick and he watched over her until he was forced to head to work.
"He has been... unwell this past few days."
Without needing to hear more, Sakura understood what Raphael meant by "unwell."
"... Raph."
He waited for her next words, seeing her call him with a complicated expression.
"... can you take me to visit him?"
"Of course I can."
He smiled and held a sigh of relief. He wanted to ask sooner if she would like to see her father, however he did not have the heart to when he witnessed her outburst.
He holds both of them preciously in his heart and was distressed in how to help the both of them without injuring ones person emotion over the other. Yet he knew his friend is suffering because of his hesitation of getting Sakura to speak to him.
So he was overjoyed that Sakura was the one to bring up to meet her father.
"We arrived."
Sakura eyes widen at how quick the time passed for them arrive before her fathers bedroom door. Looking at the grand doors of the emperor's chambers. For the first time she felt intimidated by those imposing doors and guards beside it.
'Time really goes fast when ones mind is distracted.'
"Your highness. Do you still wish to enter?"
Raphael noticed her absentmindedly staring into the door and her weariness while being before it. He wanted to ask if she would like to visit another time but he felt sorrow for his friend.
"Your highness-"
"Please inform the emperor his princess has come for a visit."
Before she can change her mind she stood straight and steady and held her head high, but Raphael noticed her small gulp of air.
"Understood."
One of the guards knock on the door and waits for a moment. The door opens and Sakura sees Azrael and makes eye contact with him.
She quickly noticed that handsome face hold stubble and his eyes held endless days of restlessness. His eyes widen when he noticed Sakura and the tiredness in his eyes warmed.
"Your highness."
"Hello Aza."
She meekly greeted him. The last time she saw him was before the meeting with her father and Seraph. She couldn't find the courage to face them this past few days.
"Good evening your highness."
Before she noticed he was kneeling to her height and gently strokes her head while the look in his eyes never changed. There was no hate, disgust or any negative feelings. Only her uncle Azrael who always watched over her since the first time he held her.
Sakura looked away and felt her lips quiver, but she held back the tears and wanted to laugh at herself.
'I really lost. Heh, they won my heart that I can't lie anymore to myself.'
She held a sardonic smile, but the smile was for her.
' I can't lie to myself any more than I have already done... this people had already held a place in my heart, even if I tried everything to deny it. They had become my family in this world.'
"Your highness?"
She looks at him again and worry was held in his eyes at her silence. Yet before he can ask if she was well, he recieved a smile in return.
"I wish to see my father. So can I enter?"
Raphael and Sakura expected a quick reply, however they soon noticed something wrong by Azrael hesitant look.
"Is something wrong?"
Raphael stepped up and his brows knitted with hidden worry. Azrael looked to struggle if he should speak, but the look in Sakura's eyes told him she would not back away if he just told her she could not visit her father today.
Sighing he looked at Raphael and spoke.
"Guards. You can head on for a ten minute break."
"Yes Sir."
Both guards gave a solute and headed away. Watching them leave out of earshot Azrael began to speak.
"... Mihk had fallen unconscious few days ago. He hasn't woken since."
"What!? Why haven't I been informed of this!?"
Raphael tone held anger and disbelief.
"You were caring for our princess so we decided it was best to not disturb you. You were the only one we trusted to be near here without worry of overwhelming her."
Azrael sighed again and held a helpless smile.
"Seraph has been managing the empire issues behind the scenes. No one has noticed yet since we used an illusion to cover Seraph's appearance with that of Mihk's. You know we cannot have this spread out."
"You should have informed me still! You guys just told me he wanted all my focus to be placed on Sakura that was why he didn't need me to head to the throne room or visit him!"
"You were already stressing over our princess, if you had heard of this then you would have been overwhelmed. And we needed you to focus fully on our highness.
We could not allow you to be distracted."
"However-!"
"I want to see him. Let me in."
Before the argument can continue, Sakura cut in.
"Princess.. I-"
"Let. Me. In. Please."
"..."
Azrael sighed and moved to the side. The door just being in full view and accessible to her.
Without hesitation she walked and quickly reached out to the door handle, grasping it in her hand and turn. The sound of the gears felt deafening to her.
'Click.'
The handle turned and she just needed to push the door to be able to enter that room.
However, she stopped in that step. She stood there, staring at the handle and knowing with just a push she will be inside, but she couldn't go in, or rather. She didn't want to take that step.
The thought of seeing him in that state made the image of him dead flash in her mind. An image of him laying in bed with a dagger in his chest. And someone else looking over him. With their hands covered in his blood.
A laugh faded in and out as well as the persons image, she felt familiarity when looking at this person but as if something was placed to cover the person she couldn't recognize them, but she feels the gaze of the person turn to her and can just tell a smile was formed in that face.
***
"...-ter- f-..ly h-... fo--- u. A --es-.. t."
***
"..ugh!"
The person called out to her sweetly, she can see it a bit clearer. They called out to her while reaching toward her with their bloodied hands.
Nausea slammed her and she hunched over while covering her mouth. Just a feeling of dread and disgust coursed through her body. But before she could register it all a sudden sense of something being grasped was snapped.
The hazy memory was soon covered, her mind was shutdown and all she just saw was hidden away again in the deepest part in her mind.
"Sakura!?"
Raphael called to her while he reached out and quickly caught her before she fell on her knees.
"Sakura?"
He calls out again when she doesn't respond. Taking a look he lifts her face a bit and felt panic rise up in him when he saw her eyes, clouded and motionless.
"Sakura!"
He gives a shake and his grip tighten on her shoulder without him noticing.
"Ow!"
A hiss of pain left her lips and her eyes gain clarity. She looks up at Raphael in cluelessness.
"It hurts."
Her brows furrowed in pain from his grip. Noticing it he quickly let's go of her shoulders and let's out a sigh.
"Are you okay? You seemed unwell."
Azrael spoke behind Raphael and decided to speak up because he noticed Raphael seems to still be disturbed by what happened. Azrael was being blocked by Raphael's back so he did not see the expression Raphael did.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just felt a bit dizzy for a moment... maybe worried I'll see my father in the same state as my mother."
Doing a light shake of her head she reaches out again and opens the door and heads inside with no hesitation.
She looks at Mihkael laying in his bed from the door way and wonders what happened just now, she does not even remember what she felt at all and just made an excuse to cover the odd moment of relapse in her mind.
'I should head in, maybe I'll be able to see what the issue is.'
Taking a step inside, a different sensation went through her, a sudden chill went through her spine but quickly went away.
Her brows narrowed in discomfort but she brushed the feeling away and walked beside her father, while no one noticed her shadow did not follow her in.
A/N: Hey... creativity is getting harder and harder to find lol. Hope this chapter is ok. I won't make promises to update anytime sooner because it was hard to even finish this one, I feel like the next chapter might pick up pace though with how this one ended haha, I as the author don't even know what will happen the next chapter, so again, sorry for late updates and take care