I still feel bad. I know I should tell them about what I truly am, but I'm worried. What if I end up being called a freak again? What if what I am is shameful? What if I'm a disgrace? No, I had to keep this a secret. Felix wouldn't tell anyone, right?
'you should tell them' spoke a soft voice in my head 'they have a right to know'. I frowned at this voice, which felt like a presence in my head. I started to wonder if maybe this was much like what people felt when their wolf spoke to them.
'it is' agreed the small voice.
***
I was sitting there sketching, the presence in my head silent.
"what do I call you?" I asked it.
The voice said nothing at first, then said:
"call me whatever you want" it said.
"uh, can't you think of something?" I asked.
"speak in your head" it said irritably " it might make you look a little more sane".
"ok, how's this?" I said in my head.
"perfect" it muttered.
"can I call you Sanity?" I asked
"that sounds dumb. And I swear there's a second hand store with the same name"
"no I think I like that name" I decided.
"can't you call me something decent?!"
"that name is pretty decent, lighten up"
"I feel like I've just woken up in the morning and told I had permission to sleep in, don't tell me to lighten up".
The presence left, like she shut the door on me. I started wondering if I was going crazy. Maybe it was my conscience, but I'm sure I already had one of those. That gave me a brainwave.
"how does Conscience sound?" I asked.
"that sounds great" and it was almost as if I could feel her smiling.
***
Conscience was great, she was like a sensible friend. I managed to get her to show her good mood once or twice, but it was like she had a mask covering any true emotion.
She was a smart ass, I'll give her that. People couldn't hear her (of course) so she was constantly making smart remarks.
I finally decided to tell my mum.
"mum" we were sitting at dinner having pumpkin soup.
"yes sweety?" she smiled at me.
"what do you call the voice in your head? The one werewolves get?" I asked.
"well, I've heard lots of people call it their wolf" she explained "it's basically your werewolf side/spirit sort of thing. Why, has she spoken to you?".
I nodded, sipping my soup.
"honey that's wonderful" mum clasped her hands together "we should celebrate!".
"we've already celebrated, mum" I reminded her "that dinner with Felix?"
"oh" she muttered "right".
Isabelle sighed.
"I'm going to my room" she muttered "gotta study".
"ok sweetheart, take your plate" mum called, but Isabelle just ignored her.
"I swear, I'm not getting through to her sometimes" mum muttered "something's going on, probably something she hasn't told me".
"maybe she found her mate?" I suggested, swirling the soup around in my bowl. She couldn't be studying, the semester was over.
"maybe she has" mum gushed "I wish I knew who he was, I'd like very much to meet him!".
"mum" I sighed "it was a suggestion, we have no proof whatsoever!"
Mum shrugged and left the room.
***
I sat there continuing my drawing, Conscience was completely silent, allowing me concentration. I stared at the beautiful wolf in front of me, patchy brown with a tail tipped in white.
Conscience yawned loudly, probably faking it.
"don't you ever draw anything else?" she asked sleepily.
"I don't know, lately this is all that's been on my mind" I thought, frustratedly erasing a line I'd made on the muzzle.
I glanced at the time. 10:39pm. I stretched and jumped into bed, pulling the covers over myself and switching my lamp off.
***
I woke up in the morning with nothing to do. It was Monday, the holidays. What could I do?
I spent the day lazing around, watching Tv and drawing. I got a few texts from Sabrina. She basically called me 'bestie' and wanted to know why I didn't tell my 'best friend' about my werewolf-ness. Honestly, I recall her hating me a few years ago, then there was this truce where we just ignored eachother. Why the best friend stuff now? Something was up, I could tell.
Anyway, this obviously meant my 'secret' was out and rumors had probably gone around like Chinese whispers, which wouldn't surprise me either.
A few unanswered calls came throughout the day, all from Will. Like I was going to talk to him. It was late afternoon when I finally went out for a walk to try and waste some time. I passed people jogging and some familiar faces from school, who probably had the same idea as I did.
I came to the edge of town, where a long road towards the main city went. I guess I should tell you, the main city is called Central Pack. Yeah, pretty boring, but Central pack was very dominant or possessive, basically they wanted to be the leading pack etc. I guess all they need now is to be more creative with names.
Most werewolves lived there and before all this craziness happen, Will and I had planned to live there. It was full of sky scrapers, enormous apartments, traffic, shopping centers and casinos etc. it was basically your version of a city.
But now, I had no idea what I would be doing. It wasn't like I could still continue on with the old plan, I was probably replaced by Maddy.
Sighing, I turned to walk back home. There wasn't exactly anything else to do.
"I'm bored" a small voice belonging to Conscience whispered. " I know" I thought " but there isn't much else to do".
"get some friends" Conscience muttered, disappearing again. I sighed inwardly, walking slightly slower so I could consume more time.
Isabelle and mum were out with pack business again, something in Central City that the pack members there were too lazy to do.
Something in my pocket moved, making me jump in surprised. I reached in a pulled out my phone." Just a phone" I muttered. Someone was ringing me.
I answered the call.
"hello, who is th-"
"OMG JESS I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!"
"uh, Scarlett? How'd you get my number?"
"don't ask! Just please come over! It's important!"
"Scarlett, I don't know where you live"
"Pleeeeease!"
"it's not that's don't want to, Scar, but I don't know where you live!"
"don't call me scar! 23 Oak Street! Hurry!!"
"okay but what could be so important that you-"
The phone went dead.
Sighing, I locked my phone and began jogging in the direction of Oak Street.