time,
we can't hold it in place,
we can't rewind it.
Every second is precious.
MJ1
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¸.•✿Annie✿✿•.¸¸
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Summer vacation is over, life is back to its usual pace, but this time is different from previous years. I am not going to school while my friends are.
I help my sister with her homework and worry about dinner. It has yet to be made, and Mom hasn't shown up, she might even not come at all once more.. All summer we hoped to see her and spend time like we used to, alas it never happened.
Feeling lost, I move a few feet away to wash the few dishes in the sink evading my thoughts and the loneliness deepening in my heart. One thing is for sure. Mom doesn't want us anymore. Whenever she is here, she yells and orders us around as if we were her employees instead of her children. The list of my chores and obligations grows with each passing week. Now our stomachs are paying the price. She forgets to buy food or give me money to buy food. Are we such a burden that she wants to get rid of us?
We have not had a father since he left when I was eleven, and now, six years later, my mother is ready to do the same. Can I take care of the three of us? Should I call children protection? The only thing keeping me from it is the idea of being far from my brother and sister. I have to bear it, for as long as I can. Things can only get better, because how much bad could it get?
As I dry my hands, I notice that Julie is chewing on the tip of her pencil. The corners of my lips turn up. I walk back to her and run my fingers through her hair, making her stop.
Julie is starting her third year, and it's proving to be an ordeal with so many classes, especially when this little one keeps distracting her from the task at hand.
"Annie, why can't Mommy help me with my homework?" She looks me in the eye and lifts her chin. She has so many questions about the inconsiderable amount of answers I can provide.
"You know she's working, come on, let's get this done and warm up the bed so Mom can sleep in it with you," I ride a piece of my nail away. I hope to make her forget the subject.
She looks at me for a split second, then grabs her pen and starts writing the answers in her book. The sound of a zipper makes me look up. Luc has finished his homework.
"I agree with Julie. Mom is overworked. We hardly see her these days. What are we going to do? I have papers to sign. At this rate, they'll end up sending Child Protective Services our way." The deep voice reminds me that he is slowly becoming a man. It is hard to decipher from his voice how he really feels about all of this.
Actually, that thought had crossed my mind as well, but I pushed it away, too afraid of it. My hands waved in the air, searching for a strand of hair. "Leave the form on the table. I will wait for mom. I'll have it signed by tomorrow, I promise," I say, knowing I might not get a look at her.
"Whatever." He said, walking past me and hurrying to his room.
The main floor is small, with just enough room for a sofa and a table. The open concept allows us to see everything going on upstairs. In the middle of the staircase.
I let out a deep sigh. He is almost as tall as me now and his behavior has been a roller coaster, especially since Mom started spending less time with us.
"Annie, why can't Dad come back and help?" She asks, eating her pen.
As if a jolt had hit me, I stand up to get a glass of water and take a few gulps. As she continues to look at me for an answer, my mind dwells between the range of answers I can give an eight year old.
"We don't know where he is, so how can we ask him for help? Enough talking, copy the answer from the text, hop." Then I pointed to her task and she rolled her eyes and went back to her work.
The ringing of the bell surprised me. We never get visitors. Who could it be? I open the door to find an elderly woman holding a foil-covered glass receiver.
"I haven't seen your mother lately. I thought you could use some help with dinner. Here, there is enough to ensure leftovers for tomorrow." I look at Sasha in disbelief, fighting back the overwhelming emotion that invades my body.
She lifts her hand and gently strokes my cheek, pushing aside the golden-brown curls coming out of my bun, causing me to close my eyes in relief.
"Come on, you don't have to hide from me. I know things have been tough. After all, you've lived here most of your life. I know what stories your eyes hide. Now take it." Her elderly voice resonates inside me. She is the woman I wish I could call grams. Pitifully, I comply.
Our paths crossed early this morning. I was walking around town looking for a job when I met her. Soon I ended telling her about my worries and the urgency of finding a job. She is my landlord lady, but I feel like she is so much more. Mom is our only blood family. She has to come back. I can't do it alone. My eyes burn again.
"All right, go inside now and don't forget to bring my recipient back unless you want to eat at my table from now on." Blinking at me with one eye, she turned and left.
The woman knows how to handle people. She is a landlord for a reason. Smiling and wiping the mist from my eyes with my arm, I close the door, only to see Luc walking again, his shoulder lower than usual. Did he notice I was crying?
Stretching my neck on both sides, I walk to the table and resume our task. Thanks to this meal, my evening was better than the previous one. Having more time, I go to Mom's room where Julie is waiting for a story.
We read the adventures of Peter Pan and marveled at the imaginary world of the book. Sometimes I wish I had a life full of adventures and friends. Instead, my life was dull and full of expectations that were more than I could handle.
"Do you think Dad will ever find his way home?" Julie asked.
I closed the book and waited, hoping she would change the subject, but she didn't.
"I don't remember his face, but I know you do." She looked at me with wide eyes, pushing herself to continue. "You always call for him when you dream, and sometimes you cry and beg him to come back." I close my eyes and hear her say, "If he comes back, your dream will come true and I will finally see his face again and this time I will keep it in my head."
Pressing my eyelids together to relax them, I sigh. I feel sorry for her. I can't even offer her a picture to look at. Mom took them all away because the only sight of it triggered my emotions causing anxiety attacks. "Then I will wish for it to happen."
Grinning, she lies in bed waiting for the good night kiss.
I lean over her forehead, but I am stopped by another question. "Do you think Mom would agree to let me borrow a photo? I don't know where she hides it anymore."
"That could be a dangerous task. I'll see what I can do. Remember, I promise you nothing." With that, I kissed her and left, leaving the room in the dark.
The last time I saw Dad's face was when I found a book my dad had given me before he left. I had put it in my bag, only to find the picture while sitting in the bus and end up having an asthma attack. Less used to have such episodes then, I hadn't my inhaler with me, cascading into the most embarrassing moment of my life. Well, the firs of many.
After that, Mom turned the house upside down and threw out all his things. She makes us believe that, there is nothing left in the house, but I know where she keeps them. I found the paperwork about a deposit unit.
Dreaming about him could means that I resent him so much that I call him in my dreams hoping for an explanation. After all, I never had a normal childhood because of him, and now Julie was paying the price.
Reading an old book I took from my mother's room, I can't help but wonder if I'll ever fulfill my dream of going to college, since I've put it off for now. The burning of my family weighs on me more than ever, but I am needed here. Seeing how my mother has distanced herself from us, I don't regret my decision, even though I may lose my scholarship. What else could I do? Leave a thirteen-year-old as the head of the family? It was just a pretentious idea that I would never accomplish. I just couldn't leave my brother and sister behind. Still, I wonder if I will be enough to hold this family together.
My heart pounds in my chest, making me sigh.
I roll over on the bed, dropping the book somewhere between the covers. Sometimes I wish for a normal life. But there is no point. Dad has forgotten us and I have finally turned the last page of my childhood. He is nothing but a ghost of the past.
I yawn and move to pick up the book, only to be stopped by something that catches my eye above the cover. Studying it as I pick it up, I marvel at the strange creature. Though it looks like a butterfly, the body isn't quite the same, ending in a feathery tail. As I examine it more closely, I can't shake the feeling that I know something about it, but can't remember. One thing's for sure, this isn't a life form I know meaning that I had to go to the library tomorrow and find more about it.
Surrounded by the silence of the night, I lie on the floor, pick up my precious box and place my find between the pages of my diary. Then I go back to bed and fall asleep, knowing that I need answers, but that I can't trust anyone but myself.
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Mom
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I woke up in the middle of the night from an unrecalled dream and felt frightened.
Despite drinking and moving around, I couldn't sleep.
My heart was beating strangely, reminding me that the bond between my husband and I included this beast that inhabited my daughter. Could she had awoken when I had worked so hard to keep her magically imprisoned. Couldn't she just give up and let herself die? Yet she was now calling for me when she knew I wanted to rid Annie from her. Annie ! Annie must be in danger. For what other reason would this creature call for me when she knows I want it gone?
Opening the monitor, I scanned the rooms looking for Annie's. Where could she be? There are cameras everywhere in that apartment, but the bathroom. I studied each room, Julie and the mother substitute I'd chosen were sleeping in one bedroom. Luc was also sound asleep, but Annie was nowhere to be found.
Digging through the history logs from the outside door only increased the creepy feeling inside. The last entry was Isabella entering the house. Where was Annie?
I dialed the numbers and a shiver ran down my spine. Finally, Isabella appeared on the screen and answered the call.
"Annie's missing. Check her room." My voice made her jump a little. She complied.
Trying to find a clue, I zoomed in on the screen, but nothing caught my eye.
"They kidnapped her." Those words sent me into a whirlwind of emotions. Please, no. I can do this again.
"The lamp is on the ground. They tore off a cover and parts are missing. They must have gone out the window." She continued her report while my mind refused to visualize the scene. "I'm waiting for your orders," she reminded me of my status.
"Call whoever you want, but find them. Bring her back," though my voice was assertive, my body was shaking like a leaf. Where was my daughter?
After hanging up, I pressed the emergency button that sealed the room as a precaution. My magic could become erratic, and I couldn't risk giving away my position.
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