My beautiful baby girl is finally here, I can't wait until Luna gets to her see. Nicole did amazing, she's a strong woman and I can't love her enough. God, I can't stop looking at her. She's absolutely perfect. She has her mothers nose, my eyes and dark beautiful hair.
Lilac Lana De Luca. Our beautiful new member of our family.
Nicole's brothers are bringing Luna to see her baby sister, which I'm desperately excited for. She's been so adorable with her mothers tummy, trying to talk to her new baby sister. I've legally adopted Luna, we may not be blood related but she's definitely my daughter. No matter what.
My siblings barged into the room, Briella's face lit up by the sight of her new niece.
"Oh my god! Can I see her?!" She excitedly asked.
"Of course!" Nicole smiled, handing her Lilac.
"Rocco! She has our eyes!" Briella happily smiled, seeing my sister with my daughter brought me great joy.
"God, she's beautiful!" Alejandro said, rubbing Lilac's cheek.
"What's her name?"
"Lilac Lana De Luca" I answered.
Everyone's face lit up, the atmosphere was full of love. I love my family so dearly, I couldn't be more grateful.
~2 hours later~
I saw Lilac and immediately went back to check on Rafael.
"Briella," Raf sighed. "Why are you back? Go see your niece!"
"I seen her! I took pictures for you" I smiled. I sat beside his bed and showed him my beautiful niece, he smiled so brightly.
"Oh my god, she's adorable!" He smiled, rubbing my arm.
"She's so beautiful," I spoke. "She's called Lilac!"
Rocco and Nicole have also legally changed Luna's name to 'Luna Lily De Luca', Rocco has also adopted her. I love their little family, they're adorable.
"You love babies, don't you?" Rafael chuckled.
"Babies are adorable, but then they turn to kids. And I have a funny feeling they turn into teenagers which is worse!" I spoke.
"Would you like kids in the future?" Rafael whispered in my ear.
"I mean, yeah, I think so..." I began. "But I'm not mother material, I didn't have a mother so I don't know how to act like one."
"Butterfly, you're amazing with kids. You'd be an amazing mother."
Fanny flutters
"I love you mi amor" Rafael said while pulling me into a kiss.
"I love you too my love."
I do want kids. I do, it's just...I'm not the best person. I'm afraid of generational trauma, what if I put my trauma into my future babies? That terrifies me.
If I ever do have kids, I'd love them unconditionally. I have a lot of love to give, I'll always be there for them, I'd be the best parent I can be. But now, I don't think I can give a baby my all. I still have unfinished business, things I need to figure out.
Things come in the right time. Like how Rafael came to me, or how I met my brothers.
And if I do want to have kids, I want Rafael to be the father. God, he's daddy.
Okay okay, let's get serious. I do want Rafael to be the father to my kids, I want to marry that dumbass! He's my best friend and partner all in one. How he looks at me sends shivers down my spine. Or how he holds me close while I listen to his heartbeat. I could get lost in the rhythm of his heartbeat.
I've never felt this way towards anyone. Not even Scar. Yes, I did love Scar but not like this. I'd do anything for Raf, I'd give my life up for him.
Rafael is a cold, ruthless business man but with me, he's loving, gentle and fucking amazing in bed.
Had to put that in there, you know?
Once all the drama dies, maybe that will be the right time.
"When I get out of here, want to go get ice cream?" Rafael asked me.
I love this man.
"Yeah! That sounds good" I replied with a smile.
"You are my soulmate" Raf softly smiled, revealing a little dimple.
"You're mine."