One: pilot - dead girl walking
It was the end of summer, the week before school started. I had no intention of staying clean. And Jules had just moved to town. Veronica was no longer in a group home.
FEZCO sat there as if he'd been waiting for me. "Yo, Rue! There's some new girl in town that I think you and Vera gonna be friends with."
"Who?"
"Sh1t, I don't know. She came in yesterday lookin' all Sailor Moon and sh1t. I'm thinking to myself, like, look like somebody Rue would get along with."
Which was sort of like a dead-on observation for Fezco, who's not normally revolving in the same direction as planet Earth.
"So, how long have you been back?"
"Five days."
"And like, how you feelin'?
"I mean, ever since I gave my life over to my lord and savior Jesus Christ, things have been, like, really good."
"Word? That's what's up."
"Yeah. I'm f*cking with you, Fez. It was a joke."
"sh1t."
"Hey, I don't judge. Uh, but low-key, is Ashtray in the back?
"Are you serious?" fez asked me.
What, you think 'cause I went to rehab, I stayed clean?
"I mean, ain't that the point?"
"Yeah, well, the world's coming to an end, and I haven't even graduated high school yet."
ASHTRAY smirked when I ordered my usual. "You sure you don't want to try nothin' new?"
I raised a brow. "Like what?"
ASHTRAY rolled his eyes. "2C-T-2, 2C-T-7, and 5-MeO-DIPT."
I laughed, spacing out and missing everything Ashtray said until he said, "That'll be 120."
"Uh, Fez said he'd spot me."
"Fezco don't spot nobody."
"Yeah, well, it's a post-rehab discount, - so you should ask him."
"I will go ask him 'cause I know you're full of shit." Ashtray sighed as Nate Jacobs pulled up in his MAGA truck. "There goes your girlfriend with her asshole boyfriend." Veronica St. James Sawyer, my best friend since diapers and Fez's only employee, sat in the passenger seat. Ashtray and I watched in disgust as Nate grabbed her arm and planted a kiss on her cheek. For show, of course, to distract from him whispering a warning in her ear. "Just be a good girl and stay in the car, alright, beautiful?"
"Okay." But Veronica had been rebelling against Nate after his most recent breakup with Maddy.
Ashtray faked a smile as Veronica approached. "Sup future baby mama."
Ashtray was smitten with Vera. Me, not so much. He was our dealer.
"I can't stay long," she said, "Is Fez here?"
"Yup, he has a register of kids who asked for prescriptions this week."
"Shit. I'm not gonna be able to get to it today."
"Beautiful," Nate grabbed her arm. "I thought I told you to stay in the car." He helped Vera climb into the back of the truck while McKay occupied the passenger's seat.
In truth, I didn't have much of an issue with Nate until all the bullshit with Jules. I mean, I never liked him, and once, during freshman formal, he tried to finger me on the dance floor without my permission. Plus, Veronica swore he only ever put his hands on her to sober her up. But it's America. And if they were throwing an end-of-summer party...
"Yo, I'd do it for Rue!" Nate shouted obnoxiously, prompting Veronica to make eye contact with me.
And if she was also there, of course I'd f*cking go.
=
"Yo. The whole world's gonna be talking about how McKay threw the grimiest f*cking banger of the summer."
"I don't know, bro. You know my mom is real OCD. She notices the smallest shit: a little scratch on the wall, the dishes are out of order."
"Fine. We'll just take a picture of everything, and we'll put it back the way we found it. What the f*ck is this, Mission Impossible?"
Veronica scoffed, "clearly, you've never had a black mama."
Nate laughed, "At least my mom's around."
Mckay rolled his eyes. "Come on, man. don't do her like that."
"I was joking." Nate said, "Would you stop worrying about your mom, and start worrying about all the f*cking pussy that we're gonna smash tonight, bro."
"No, no, no, no, no. Wait. Isn't Maddy coming tonight?"
"I don't know. I don't give a f*ck. She broke up with me."
Maddy had broken up with Nate one week before I got out of rehab when he sped up and made Veronica hit her head on the dashboard "as a joke."
"The fuck, Nate?"
"She can take a fucking joke. Right, beautiful?"
"He's just playing around."
"God, you're always fucking gaslighting her." Maddy groaned, "You know what? Take me fucking home!" Maddy felt like Nate used Veronica to prove he wasn't just some misogynistic rich white boy from the suburbs, which rubbed her the wrong way. She wanted Veronica to wake up and see that she was, in fact, Nate's token black girl.
"Maddy, come on."
"We're fucking over, Nate!" Maddy slammed his door. "Call me when you start treating Veronica like a fucking person!"
Maddy knew exactly what she was talking about. It was always Nate forcing Veronica to do things. It was always Veronica he had to get ready for the party, as if she was a fucking child.
"Fuck her."
"See, no, bro. 'Cause she's crazy. I don't want her to come and try to burn my house down."
"Burn your - Yeah. Shut the fuck up." Nate saw a blonde girl riding down the street. "Yo. This is exactly what I'm talking about. Right here. I'm gonna tell you something..."
"Nate, don't do anything stupid. Come on." Mckay prompted.
"Hey, yo, what up, B? Yo, how 'bout you come and ride on this dick?"
"No, Nate, chill, bro!" McKaY intervened. "Come on man. Not with Vera in the back." Nate being Nate laughed maniacally as he ran the new girl off the road.
"What the fuck, bro!"
"Whoops."
"That wasn't funny, Nate." Veronica shouted. "You could have killed her!"
"I'm sorry, beautiful." Nate said sarcastically, pulling up to her house. "Sorry you can't take a joke. I'll pick you up at seven. I love you. say it back."
"I love you."
"Now be a good girl."
"I will. I promise."
=
Nate ditched setting up early so he could go pick up Veronica from the rental home across the street from my house. Neither of them were aware that I could see everything from my bedroom window.
"You blow it tonight, Vera and it's over." Nate whispered to the shaking girl. Veronica nodded slowly.
"Can I pick my outfit tonight?" Veronica asked innocently. It was a mistake, one that would cost her. When Nate grabbed her jaw, she truly believed he would break it for real this time.
"You're fucking beautiful you know that? But it all goes away when you start asking stupid fucking questions. You want a repeat of this morning?"
She shook her head.
After McKay's party, Veronica told me that what had happened was: She'd snuck out to buy more Adderall even after Nate told her to stay in the car. When Nate caught Veronica talking to me and Ash while he and McKay were buying a keg from Fez, he practically tore her arm off, dragging her out of the store. "I was talking to somebody!" Now, a black eye decorated 25% of Veronica's pretty face. "That's for fucking embarrassing me! You're lucky Heather keeps you around."
"I'm sorry!"
"You and that druggie are fucking him, huh? You're fucking him for..."
"Don't be ridiculous! I'm not Maddy-" The slap was numb on her cheeks because it only amplified the pain of his fist hitting her eye. Lucky she'd tucked the baggie of pills into her bra, a place Nate would never look. She desperately wanted to snort something but that was something she needed privacy for. And now, with him holding her close in her bay window, she was that scared little girl again that just wanted her mother to call her beautiful.
"Good." Nate smirked, "Don't make me hurt you. I'd hate for someone else to star in the musical this year."
Veronica's dream was to be on a Broadway stage. She had rehearsals for the school musical almost everyday since eighth grade. She was also the first freshman in fifteen years to be the female lead in both school musicals at East Highland. Acting was fun for her. she could stop being herself for 30 minutes to an hour and forget about all the bullshit. An hour where she felt beautiful. Plus, it gave her inspiration for all the notes she forged and excuses she made for Nate's behavior.
McKay's party was boring. The alcohol was shit and Veronica had barely sipped from her red solo cup. She'd lifted herself onto the countertop, sitting there with her legs crossed when the most beautiful blonde girl she'd ever seen approached her. she was staring. Not in the way that people stare when she was taking care of business for Nate. This look wasn't full of fear and confusion. It was innocent.
"I'm Jules." The blonde girl offered her a shot. They clinked the glasses together before downing them. Ten minutes later, Jules and Veronica were chatting it up like they'd been friends for years when Jules both realized something.
"I didn't catch your name."
"I didn't throw it. You're new here, right? I'm..."
"Veronica!" Of course she couldn't introduce herself to anyone new without him interrupting. He poured himself a shot before throwing it across the crowded kitchen. "Get out of here! Get the fuck out of here! Get the fuck out of the kitchen! Fuck! Except for you, Veronica! Get your ass back here. isn't she beautiful, everyone? She's fucking beautiful." He grabbed her wrist. "You're fucking beautiful." But Veronica wasn't looking him in the eye. He followed her gaze to Jules. "The fuck are you looking at? Who are you?"
"I'M JULES I'M A FRIEND OF..."
"You're a friend of whose cuz you're not MY FRIEND AND YOUR SURE AS HELL NOT VERONICA'S FUCKING FRIEND? RIGHT, VERONICA?" The grip on her wrist tightened. If she said she liked Jules he'd break it for sure. "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH JULES. DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHO THE FUCK THIS IS? DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHO THIS IS? Does anybody know who the fuck Jules is? anyone at all. You, do you know who the fuck Jules is? So who are you?"
"I'm just minding my business. I'm not trying to start anything."
Veronica squeezed her solo cup, "Don't be dick. Leave her alone, Nate."
"Shut the fuck up, Veronica!" Nate urged.
"Sorry, Nate." Veronica caved.
"Nobody that looks like you is just minding their own fucking business. I know what you are. Yeah. Yeah. I see you. What do you want, huh? You want some fucking attention? I'll give you some fucking attention. Is anybody here friends with Jules? Does anybody know who the fuck this bitch is? Somebody better speak up or this bitch is gonna get fucked up! And you're going to watch, Vera. You want me to hurt her?" Veronica shook her head. "No, Nate. Not tonight."
In one swift action Jules took a knife to her wrist. "You wanna fucking hurt me?" She screamed. "You wanna fucking hurt her?" she pointed toward Veronica.
"Yo, I was fucking kidding."
But Jules wasn't letting up. "Back the fuck up! What the fuck is your problem?"
"Put the fucking knife down, alright. It was a joke."
Veronica smiled sadly, "I'm fine Jules. I promise. Just put the knife down, okay. He's my friend."
"You wanna fucking hurt me." Jules was still focused on Nate. "You have no fucking idea." She cut a slit in her wrist and backed out of the kitchen, claiming she was invincible.
Heather Chandler was having the time of her life. She was high and she looked amazing, two of her favorite things. She heard commotion in the kitchen and was not surprised to see Veronica being dragged out by Nate. "Well, well, well... Veronica Sawyer and Nate Jacobs. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're sneaking off to go fuck each other."
"Shut up, Heather." Nate said.
"Nobody tells me to shut up." Heather said, "By the way, your girlfriend is still fucking some nobody in the pool. He's like twenty-something. That's basically date-rape." Heather was a bitch but people liked her outspoken nature. Plus she had, like, tons of money. "Run along now, Veronica. We'll talk on the first day of school. You look like you're about to toss your cookies." And she did. Right on Heather. "I'd normally slap your face off and everyone here could watch. But I'm feeling nice. Meet me in the girls bathroom on Monday. You have one more chance. Don't be late." Heather really cared about Veronica in her own selfish way but Nate was OBSESSED with her. It was scary to Heather though she'd never admit it.
Maddy Perez was extremely jealous of the time Nate spent with Veronica. Apparently, before threatening Jules, Nate saw Maddy in the pool with some guy she just met, it was her turn to make him jealous. She was practically fucking this random guy in the pool when Nate tracked her down.
Veronica slipped away, running into Jules yet again. This time Jules was with me.
"Veronica."
"Jules, right?"
"Hi." Something was wrong with Veronica.
"You know my mom could always vouch for your mom as your guardian or something?"
"Drop it, Rue."
"Guardian?" Jules asked.
"Thanks for putting my business out there, Bennett. My parents aren't around. The guy you pulled a knife on is my guardian's son. And things are complicated."
"Are you, like, fucking?"
"Never." Veronica gagged. "I'm not into guys. They're too violent and cocky. I need a queen to match my level of bad bitchery. Someone who I can just exist with. But enough about me. we should go."
Veronica and I have been best friends almost as long as me and Lexi. She's the closest thing I'll ever get to a big sister. Fez introduced us to each other at the beginning of freshman year. We started running around town that summer until she got under Nate's clutches. Don't get me wrong, she still talks to me when she shows up at my window with a bruise that she needed help covering up or a broken arm that she refused to go to the hospital for.
Jules' house was just as quiet as Veronica's with less knickknacks. By the time we got there it looked like Jules was bleeding out of her left wrist. And we just laid there, the three of us while Veronica and I took turns patching her up. And then Jules and I did the same once Veronica took off her sunglasses and we saw the cut above her eye.
None of us really considered the consequences of Veronica ditching Nate until the first week of school.
"I've got an idea." I said. "Wanna get high?"
I knew when Veronica was high she got brutally honest. And I needed her to tell me exactly why she showed up to the first party of the year with a shiner.