Your secret's out...
~~~
Your sleep hadn't been that peaceful to begin with, but the screaming that woke you up certainly didn't help.
You peeled your eyes open to see Juniper close to your bed, her face paler than you'd ever seen it. Her eyes were wide and frantic, and as you woke up further, you could see how badly even her hands were shaking.
"What's wrong??" you asked, hurriedly throwing the covers off of your body. You started to push yourself up off of your bed, but Juniper just backed away more.
"Wh—who the fuck are you?" she demanded. You'd never heard her voice so shaky and shrill before, and it only served to make you more confused.
"What are you talking about?" you asked. You felt like you'd been asking that exact question a lot lately.
"What are you talking about?" Juniper shot back. "Quit fucking playing dumb and tell me who you are!"
"I—I'm Ravena, your roommate!" you hollered. You were thoroughly confused by this point, you had no idea what Juniper's problem was.
"Then explain to me," she shouted back, "why do you look like my old roommate y/n, who was killed by You-Know-Who four months ago!!"
That's when it hit you. In all the chaos between you, Draco, and Gordon the night before, not only had you left before Draco could tell you what his mother wanted him to tell you, you had left before he could change you back into Ravena. In everything going on, you had forgotten completely.
"Juniper, I—I can explain," you rushed out. Your heart had leapt into your throat. You knew you could explain, and you would, but you had no idea where you'd even begin.
"Then you'd better fucking start," Juniper snarled, plopping down on her bed.
You paced back and forth a couple of times, wracking your brain for a good place to start.
"I did almost die over the summer," you started. "Voldemort did try to kill me. He did it because I was in possession of the Elder Wand, and he thought he had to kill me in order to gain its allegiance."
"But why did you have it to begin with?" Juniper asked. "Where did it come from?"
"I—I had to retrieve it," you admitted, only barely remembering to leave out the fact that you'd desecrated Dumbledore's tomb to do so.
"For Voldemort?" Juniper nearly shrieked. "You mean to tell me you've been working for the Dark Lord this entire time??"
"Shhhh!" you pleaded. "I didn't do it by choice! He found out that Draco and I were together, and he kidnapped me. When I went missing for three days last year, remember that? I had to either take the Dark Mark and pledge my allegiance to him, or he was going to kill me and Draco."
Juniper's face had grown cold, her demeanor made of ice. "Show me the Mark," she said, her voice low. You couldn't quite make out her tone, but you knew it wasn't one of happiness.
You sighed heavily, putting out your arm and rolling up your sleeve. The gasp she let out at the sight of the black skull-and-snake permanently, magically etched onto your arm was a sound you knew you'd never forget.
"So you let everyone believe you were dead this whole time," she finally said. "You let everyone believe you'd been murdered by the Dark Lord, when you were prancing about under our noses this entire time."
You knew by the tone of her voice that she was not happy. In fact, this kind of cool, calculated anger was something you'd only witnessed in Juniper twice before—and you'd known the woman almost six years.
"I had to," you said, feeling tears constrict your throat. "I had to. It was to protect me, to protect Draco, and to protect all of you. If you knew I wasn't really dead and Voldemort came after you, there's a good chance he'd kill you to get to me. He isn't the type to just let things slide, Juniper, you know that."
"You let me think you were dead!" Juniper cried, tears beginning to stream down her face. "You were my best friend for five years and you let me sit around crying because I thought you were dead! You watched me break down over you! You listened to me talk about you on the train! This whole time, it's been you!"
"I wanted to tell you," you pleaded, your voice choked with tears. "I wanted to, please. You don't know how hard it's been giving up my entire former life to keep this secret, but it was either that or risk my own death! Juniper please, you have to try to understand, please!"
Juniper shook her head, standing up from her spot on her bed. "I just can't wrap my head around this, y/n," she said coldly, even though she was still sniffling as she brushed away stray tears. "Just because you think it's the right thing to do doesn't mean it is."
"You're going to make this about you?" you asked, incredulous. "I'm the one who was almost killed by the Dark Lord. I'm the one who was forced to go into hiding in a magical disguise. I'm the one who had to sit here listening to you guys talk about me. The only semblance of my former life that I was allowed to retain was my spot in Slytherin House. Draco wanted me to be put in fucking Hufflepuff, Juniper."
"Ah, yes, because being in a different House means you suddenly mean nothing at all anymore," Juniper spat sarcastically. "I don't even want to look at you right now, y/n. Move, I have to get to class."
You were so stunned at how blunt Juniper was being that you did move, you let her leave the room in a swish of green-trimmed robes. You had hoped the reveal of your secret would've gone better than that. Instead, you felt like you'd just lost your best friend.
You didn't know how to do the spells to disguise yourself that Draco and his mother knew how to do, so you simply pulled your hood up and hurried down to the Common Room, where you ran right into Draco.
"Y/N!" he said quickly. "You left so quickly I couldn't re-disguise you. What happened??"
You moved backwards, out of his reach as you kept your hood covering most of your face. "Juniper knows," you said quietly, and even though you weren't looking at his face, you could see the rest of him tense.
"Who else?" he said, his voice low.
"Nobody that I know of," you admitted, finally pulling your hood down. "But Juniper wasn't happy. I'm not sure I can trust her to not tell people right now."
Draco pinched the bridge of his nose, breathing an exasperated sigh out through his nostrils. "This is not going to be helpful, especially with what my mother told me this week," he said quietly. Your heart rate spiked once more, and you weren't sure you wanted the answer, but you asked anyway. "What did your mother want you to tell me?"
He sighed heavily again, his eyes flitting back and forth across the Common Room. You weren't sure why he was doing that. You'd hear anyone coming from the dormitories, and you'd certainly hear the door to the dungeons opening if someone were to come inside.
"I guess the Dark Lord's on the move," he said quietly, refusing to meet your eyes. "He's hunting down Potter, but my mother says he's starting to get suspicious about your death. My mother's obviously made up a ton of excuses to get out of showing him a body, and he might be a little slow sometimes, but he really isn't stupid. My mother has told me to expect to get questioned any day now..."
You froze. This meant you would have to Obliviate Draco.
"B-but, that means—"
"I know what it means, y/n!" Draco snapped. "I was there when you made the Vow. You will either have to Obliviate me, or I will have to avoid you so you can't, and you'll have to escape the castle and go back to that house we were in before term started."
"Won't I die if I don't Obliviate you?" you asked, fighting the urge to fold your arms in annoyance. Leave it to Draco to try and find a way out of having to do something.
Draco shook his head. "Not if I'm the one who's made it impossible for you to do so," he responded, shoving his hands in his pockets. "If you did your best, but I'm the one who evaded you and made your mission fail, it will still count at the most basic of levels. You'll be fine."
You wanted to smile, but with everything else going on, it was hard to even force it. "You actually paid attention in Defense Against the Dark Arts," you teased, and Draco rolled his eyes.
"Just be on the lookout," he said, clearly not in the mood for anything lighthearted. "And by the way, I wasn't able to get the memory charm to work on Gordon, either. I know I shattered his main Shield and all, but he did something else to protect himself that I couldn't figure out. I heard someone coming up the stairs so I hid and escaped while they were busy with Gordon."
"He's probably in the infirmary though, so he shouldn't be a problem right now," you offered, trying to be helpful to Draco's mood. But your white-haired boyfriend shook his head. "Doesn't matter. Juniper knows now, too. It might be best if you stayed in the dorms today."
You sighed heavily, but nodded. If Juniper saw you out and about as Ravena again, it certainly wouldn't help. And knowing Juniper, she'd go straight to Silver and Marin, so they probably wouldn't be very willing to speak to you either.
Draco reached out before you could turn around, however, and pulled you tightly into his chest. "Please be careful," he begged, his voice barely above a whisper so that only you could hear him. "I won't be able to go on if I lose you again."
You buried your face in his chest, trying your best to ward off the tears you felt stinging the back of your eyes. You didn't know if you'd see him again after today, and that thought shattered you.
"I love you," you mumbled before he pulled away.
He looked into your eyes, and you could see how glossy his own, steely-grey eyes had become. "I love you," he said quietly, and your tears came full-force. He'd only said that to you three times, and now you didn't know if you'd ever hear it again.
"Go," he urged, pushing you gently in the direction of the dormitories. "I'll send word if you end up needing to escape. Keep a lookout for my owl."
"But I have to Obliviate you, Draco, what if he kills you??" you begged, your voice breaking.
"To live without you would be a fate worse than whatever I could suffer in Voldemort's clutches," Draco said, his face devoid of emotion. "You can tell my mother it's my fault. I refuse to let you take yourself away from me."
He turned and nearly sprinted out of the Common Room before you could respond. You scrubbed hurriedly at your eyes and face, trying to get rid of the tear tracks that had streaked your face. Those were the most meaningful words he'd ever said to you, and now you knew they could be the last.
You hated to think of anything about it. What if you lost him? You didn't know how you'd go on either. As much as you hated to admit it, you didn't want to live in a world without Draco Malfoy.
It surprised you, really. How much you'd hated him at the beginning of your Hogwarts tenure, and how much you'd be willing to give up to keep him alive and with you now.
You didn't let yourself dwell on anything any longer. You couldn't. You were on the edge of breaking as it was, you couldn't keep thinking about it.
And so you turned and ran back to the dormitories, completely unaware of the hell that was about to break loose.
~~~
The minutes spent in your dorm turned to hours, and they seemed to crawl by. The hands on the clock moved so slowly you felt like they might as well be going backwards.
You'd taken to pacing around the room, unable to sit still due to your own nerves, and you looked out the window nearly every five minutes. Any sign of movement sent you either racing to the window or diving under your bed. You were terrified of what could happen.
Juniper returned to the room unexpectedly early, though, just around 4:30, when is when the last classes of the day would be getting out. You jumped when she entered the room. She shut the door harder than she normally would, and went straight to her desk without a word.
"Juniper?" you asked quietly. Your red-headed roommate didn't verbally respond, but she put her quill down and turned towards you.
"I'm sorry I lied to you," you said, your voice small. "I didn't mean to hurt you. But I had to hide. I couldn't lose Draco—and I never would've forgiven myself if Voldemort killed Draco's mother and it was my fault."
"What about me?" Juniper asked, her voice breaking. "I'm your best friend, why don't I fit into this equation?"
"Juniper, you're my best friend, and that's why you couldn't," you said, your tone pleading her to understand. "I did what I did so Voldemort wouldn't be able to get into your memories and find out I wasn't dead. You know as well as I do that he would kill you in a heartbeat if he thought you were standing in his way."
Juniper sighed, and you could see the tears in her eyes.
"June," you started, watching her eyes snap to yours at the sound of your old nickname for her, "I don't want to break this news to you on top of everything else that's happened today, but I have to. I don't know if I'll see you after today. Once everyone realizes that I'm y/n and that I'm not dead, I'm going to have to go on the run if I want to avoid actually getting killed this time. But I can't leave if you're mad at me. I need to know that we're going to be okay."
Juniper's tears began streaming down her face as she launched herself from her chair and into your arms. An ugly sob released from her throat, and you held her tightly as she cried in your arms.
"I just got you back," she choked out. "I can't lose you again."
You held her tighter. "You aren't losing me," you assured her, though you weren't certain that was true. "I just have to go hide for a while."
Juniper pulled herself from your grip, her red-rimmed eyes staring directly into yours. "Then I'm coming with you," she said decidedly.
"What? No," you said almost instantly. "I can't put you in danger like that."
"I didn't ask, y/n," she responded curtly. "Safety in numbers, you know? Besides, You-Know-Who doesn't know me from a house elf."
She opened her wardrobe, raising her wand.
"Let's pack."
~~~
The owl came just a few moments after you and Juniper had shrunk your belongings, stuffed them into backpacks, sealed the backpacks, and shoved them under your beds. You had to be ready to leave at a moment's notice.
You felt a strange sense of déjà vu at the whole situation. You thought back to the summertime and the entirety of your journey with Draco to get the Elder Wand. This was sort of like that, only the stakes were much higher this time around.
When you saw the owl outside your window, you scrambled to open it, and the tawny bird dropped the envelope through the opening and took back off, barely even landing on the windowsill.
You grabbed the envelope out of the air before it hit the ground. The handwriting on the envelope was still unmistakably Draco's, but you could tell by how messy it was that he'd written it in an awful hurry.
Your real name was scrawled on the envelope, which felt weird—you'd been Ravena for so long, you barely knew "y/n" anymore.
You shook yourself out of your thoughts as you tore the envelope open. You didn't have the time to dwell on much of anything at that moment.
Y/N, the small note read,
The Carrows know. Gordon must've been overheard talking about you and me. They used the Cruciatus Curse to get the rest of the information out of him. I should've tried harder to Obliviate that sack of shit.
But I can't focus on that right now. If they haven't already told him, there's no doubt that Voldemort will know you're alive and where you are by the end of the day.
I'll apologize to my mother, but I won't let you Obliviate me. I refuse to have my only memories of the love of my life taken away from me.
I'll see you when I see you, y/n.
RUN.
-D
You didn't even have time to feel warm and fuzzy about Draco calling you the love of his life. Your hands shook as you looked over at Juniper. Worry was evident on her face as she wrung her own hands.
"Well?" she asked, her voice wobbly.
You held up the paper in your still-trembling hands, and she set her mouth in a grim line.
"We have to go, don't we?" she asked, her shoulders slumping when you nodded.
"Let's get our brooms, then," she said, pulling on her backpack and straightening her shoulders as she looked out the window.
"We've got to get you out of here."