Hogwarts with the new headmaster sucks, to put it lightly.
~~~
Hogwarts under Snape's iron fist was hardly Hogwarts at all. There were no trips to Hogsmeade. There were no students lingering in halls after classes. There were no students speaking and laughing in the Great Hall at mealtimes. The only time you heard the voices of your fellow students was when you were in your room with Juniper or other friends, or when your new head of house, Alecto Carrow, was not present in the Common Room and your fellow Slytherins felt safe enough to speak out loud.
The dark cloud that seemed to hover over the once-bright and lively castle grew by the day. Students were beginning to lose interest in the spells and charms that had once enveloped their young minds. Multiple seventh-years dropped right out, unable to continue on under the circumstances surrounding Hogwarts. Unfortunately, this meant they were leaving you and the rest of the sixth-years more or less in charge.
You tried not to focus on the new boot camp-esque scene that Hogwarts had become. The chains on the wall at the front of the Great Hall helped keep your eyes glued on your plate at mealtimes. You couldn't bear to see fellow students chained up during the day there, blatant evidence that they had disobeyed one of the many, many rules that Snape had instated the minute he'd taken Dumbledore's place.
You also couldn't help the massive guilt you felt at seeing everything that was happening. You knew you had started this. You had killed Dumbledore, that's what had set this all in motion. The culpability you felt at this heavy knowledge was like cinderblocks on your shoulders that you had to carry around all day every day. You couldn't even turn to Draco for support. He was having to carry on his own act, continuing to serve under Voldemort and pretend that he was mourning your untimely demise all at the same time. You felt even worse every time you remembered that. You couldn't even be there for him, because he had to stay as far away from you as possible.
You tried your absolute hardest to stay under the radar, keeping your Dark Mark covered with magic and your nose in your books. You didn't speak in class unless you were called on, and your free time was usually spent holed up in your dorm room, your quill to your paper and several books strewn about your desk or your bed. You were rarely seen outside of your Common Room if you weren't in class or in the Great Hall, which you supposed helped you keep up your persona as Ravena. This time last year you would've wanted to be anywhere but your Common Room before bedtime, wanting to spend more time with Marin and Juniper and Silver outside in the courtyard, playing pickup games of Quidditch, or you'd be in actual Quidditch practice with Arlie and the rest of the Slytherin team, preparing to wipe the field with Ravenclaw the next time you played against each other.
However, despite all of your careful, calculated attempts to slide through your sixth year undetected, you were unable to completely protect yourself from the Carrows in your Defense Against the Dark Arts class.
You found yourself sat in their classroom one ugly afternoon. Ugly in the sense that it was gross and humid outside, yet still raining. The weather brought down the mood of the school even more than usual, and your newest Defense Against the Dark Arts professors did absolutely nothing to help.
You had been tuning in and out of the lecture that day, your mind wandering to Draco and how much you missed him. You twirled your quill around in your hand, snapped out of your reverie when you heard your name called by Amycus Carrow from the front of the class.
"Ravena," came his grating voice. You had learned the hard way how annoying his voice really was to listen to. You weren't sure if it was just annoying or the fact that he was also a Death Eater, but you knew deep down it was likely a combination of both.
"Yes, sir?" you replied.
"Would you mind telling me exactly what it is the Cruciatus Curse does?" he asked, and you swore a smirk turned the corners of his mouth up for just a second, but you refused to give any indication that you'd noticed it.
"It's an Unforgivable Curse, sir. It's also known as the Torture Curse, because it inflicts horribly unbearable pain on the victim. It's nearly excruciating, which is partly where the name Cruciatus Curse comes from."
"Very good," Alecto piped up. "Twenty points to Slytherin."
That was another thing the Carrows did, they blatantly favored the Slytherins. Had you been from any other House, you would've been lucky to get five points. In fact, had you been from any other House they probably would've taken points away for some mundane reason like taking too many breaths in the sentence.
You couldn't really call them out on it, though, unless you wanted to be Cruciated.
"Come to the front of the class, please, Miss Sayre?" Amycus said then, and with an expression of confusion on your face, you obliged.
"Draw your wand," he instructed, and you did, still thoroughly confused.
His eyes scanned the room, landing on a Hufflepuff boy you didn't really recognize. You'd seen him in passing, sure, but you didn't know his name by any means.
"You, Peter, come up here," he instructed then, and the yellow-robed boy hurried up to join you before Amycus at the front of the class, his own wand drawn excitedly. You had a sinking feeling about the whole thing, which was only made worse when Amycus told Peter that he didn't need his wand, only you did.
"Now, Ravena," Amycus said then, his voice growing lower by the second, "provide us with a demonstration of the Cruciatus Curse."
Your heart plummeted, and Peter's face changed instantly, the shock and terror on his face evident for everyone. The blood drained from his face as quickly as you could feel the color leaving your own, and the hand that held your wand began to tremble violently.
"Wh-what?" you asked, and Amycus rolled his eyes. "Don't be a coward. Cruciate him!"
"I—I can't do that, it's an Unforgivable Curse!" you stammered out. "I just told you that!"
"I'm your professor and this is school, Ravena," Amycus snapped. "You will do as I say."
"I can't Cruciate him, he's innocent!" you cried. "I won't do it!"
"Then it's detention," he snarled, shoving you in the direction of your seat. "After class, you will return to me."
You stumbled back to your seat, painfully aware of how many eyes were on you. You felt your face burn in embarrassment, but you hoped detention wouldn't be as bad as the rumors you had heard of it made it out to be.
You couldn't have been more wrong.
You found yourself sat in a seat farther up in the classroom once the other students had cleared out. It was you, one other Ravenclaw boy, and Alecto and Amycus Carrow, all alone in the otherwise empty Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom.
"You're quite bold, Ravena, flat-out refusing to do what a professor ordered you to do," Alecto sneered as Amycus pulled the Ravenclaw boy up to the front of the classroom by his arm. The poor blue-robed boy looked absolutely terrified, and you knew you didn't look any better.
"Stand up, Sayre," he ordered, and you hopped up out of your seat without even thinking about it. He grabbed your arm the same way he had grabbed the Ravenclaw boy's arm, dragging you up to the front of the classroom to face him.
"Ravena, Gordon, Gordon, Ravena," Amycus said dismissively. "I'd skip the pleasantries but I also think you should know your victim's name." He looked down at you, an ugly smirk turning the corners of his mouth upward. Leaning forward, he whispered lowly, "It makes things a little more...personal."
You felt goosebumps prickle up and down your arms as he stood back up, straightening his back. "Gordon, give your wand to Alecto. As long as things go to plan, it will be returned to you in the same condition it was taken in."
Gordon's hands were trembling as badly as yours had been in class as he took his wand from the inside pocket of his robe and handed it to the dark-haired Death Eater. Alecto wasn't even trying to hide her Dark Mark, instead electing to roll her shirt sleeves up to leave it on full display as she ran the classes she and Amycus taught.
You shivered as you laid eyes on it as Alecto took Gordon's wand, despite having the same Mark on your own forearm. You felt it prickle as your thoughts were trained on it, and you pushed the feeling out of your mind and refocused on the scene before you.
"Ravena, draw your wand," Amycus ordered.
You wanted to stand still and defy him again, but you didn't want to face the wrath of the Carrows, either, so you did as you were told and drew your wand.
"Point it at Gordon."
Your stomach sank lower with every command Amycus barked at you, and you hoped Gordon could see your unspoken apology written in your eyes.
"Imperio."
You felt your entire body tense as the spell hit you, and all you saw was bright orange. You felt yourself lose control of everything in your body, and you began to shake as your body struggled to keep itself upright.
"Ravena Sayre, I order you to Cruciate Gordon Buckling!"
You felt your arm lift once again against your own will, and you screwed your eyes shut so you wouldn't have to watch it.
"Eyes open, Sayre!" came the next command, and your eyes forced themselves open at hearing the order.
"Crucio!" said your voice, though it didn't belong to you. Red light shot from your wand, hitting Gordon square in the chest. The dark-haired Ravenclaw boy crumbled to the floor, screaming in agony as he writhed under your curse. You felt yourself begin to cry as you watched the poor boy suffer, the hot tears streaming down your face as Amycus forced you to keep going.
After what felt like hours, Amycus released you, and you fell to the floor sobbing. He stepped over you as he returned to Alecto, and you heard the clattering on the floor of Gordon's wand as Alecto carelessly threw it back to him.
"Remember this for the next time one of you decides to try to humiliate us in front of our own class," Amycus snarled as he and Alecto walked out of the classroom.
"Oh, and Gordon," Alecto called behind her as they approached the exit, "that's one hundred points from Ravenclaw for that little stunt."
You heard Gordon groan in response, and Alecto only laughed as she followed Amycus out of the room. Her shrill, nasal cackle made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.
You waited until you heard their footsteps fade away before scrambling over to Gordon. You rummaged through your bag for your vial of Medella potion. "Hold still, Gordon," you begged as you popped the top off, and he quieted down immediately as you rolled him onto his back.
"This is healing potion, I promise it's just going to help," you said quietly, and he closed his eyes as he awaited the potion. You pulled out the dropper, positioning it over his forehead and administering exactly four drops. You watched his entire body begin to relax as it took over, erasing the after effects of the Cruciatus Curse that you had inflicted upon him.
After a few moments, he sat up, his eyes full of relief. "Thank you, Ravena," he said earnestly. "That was the worst pain I've ever been in."
"I know," you said quietly. "I've never had it happen to me, but I—I've watched it happen to people I care about. I'm so sorry I had to do that to you."
"I don't blame you for it, Ravena," he said then, and you could tell from his expression he meant it. "I know you had no control over what you were doing. I watched it happen. I know you were in just as much pain as I was having to do it to me."
You smiled slightly as you helped him stand up. "I'd offer to make it up to you by buying you a Butterbeer, but we aren't exactly allowed to go to Hogsmeade anymore."
Gordon smiled, stretching to allow the last of the potion to erase his lingering soreness. "I know," he said with a sigh. "But hey, we could still study together later, if you wanted to?"
You smiled back at him, nodding once. "I'd like that."
Gordon picked his wand up from the floor, placing it back into his robe as he gathered the rest of his things to leave the wretched classroom. "It's a date."
~~~
You had eaten dinner in silence once again, the eerie quietness of the Great Hall still not something you were used to, even though you had been back in class for nearly a month. You hoisted your bag onto your shoulder as you made the journey back down to the dungeons, not knowing if you really wanted to go back to your dorm room all over again or not.
You pushed open the door to your room, noting that Juniper was still absent. For her sake, you hoped she was with Arlie, regaining at least some semblance of the Hogwarts life you had used to have.
You threw your things onto your desk chair as you noticed an envelope on your bed, and when you noticed Draco's handwriting messily scrawling your fake name onto the parchment, you knew he'd sent an owl.
You ripped it open, eager for any sort of correspondence from the Slytherin boy you hadn't spoken to in so long.
You were slightly disappointed to see there were only three sentences on it, but it didn't do too much to quell your excitement.
Y/N
I obviously had to be careful and put your fake name on the envelope, but it's me. Meet me in the Divination Tower at midnight tonight, the Astronomy Tower is too risky at this point. We have a lot we need to talk about.
-D
You could've jumped for joy at the realization that you'd finally get to see him. You had seen him in passing since returning to school, and you shared one measly class with him, but you hadn't even sat next to him in that class, and you certainly couldn't speak to him outside of class. This was going to be a meeting you'd been hoping to get since you'd returned to Hogwarts.
You tried to spend the next few hours getting homework done, and while you managed to get a few things finished for your Charms class, as well as a three-foot parchment for your Ancient Runes class, you still found it hard to focus. It felt like every few seconds you were glancing at the clock, trying to get the time to go by faster. Of course, it felt like time slowed to a stop the more you looked at the clock, and you rolled your eyes and reluctantly returned to your studies every time the clock disappointed you by only being a few minutes farther forward.
Juniper came in a while later, patting your shoulder as she spoke a brief hello as she passed by you. "Arlie and I are sneaking out to play some pickup Quidditch once he's done with actual Quidditch practice, would you want to come with?" she asked. "I don't know what you know about playing Quidditch but I'm sure you'd pick it up in no time."
You wanted to more than anything, you'd missed playing Quidditch almost as much as you'd missed actually getting the time of day from your Slytherin Prince. But looking at the clock, you realized you only had an hour before you were supposed to meet Draco in the Divination Tower, and you slowly shook your head in response.
"Sorry, June," you said apologetically. "I've gotten so much homework, I'm literally exhausted. Maybe tomorrow or some other time?"
Juniper stood there and stared at you, and you gave her a confused look in response. "Are you okay?" you asked then, concerned. You weren't sure what you had said.
Juniper shook her head quickly, her red hair flying around her face as she did so. "Nothing, nothing," she said hurriedly. "I just—y/n used to call me June that same way. I shouldn't be so surprised that someone else gave me a nickname, I just—it threw me off."
You wanted to kick yourself, but you tried not to let anything show through your facial expression. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to open up old wounds or anything like that."
Juniper chuckled slightly. "I can't blame you for any of that—it's not like you killed y/n. It just surprised me, that's all. Don't worry about it."
You felt a pang of guilt go through your chest as Juniper changed her clothes quickly and left the dorm room again. You had fucked up so royally there—it was a miracle you hadn't blown your cover that very moment.
You tried not to think about it as you hurried through changing your own clothes, sticking your wand into your boot and pulling a cloak over yourself, both to keep you warm in the castle as it grew ever colder by the day, and to keep you as hidden in the shadows as possible as you made your way to the Divination Tower.
Professor Trelawney had been thrown out almost immediately after Dumbledore had been killed—she still lived on the grounds, just as Hagrid did—but she hadn't been permitted to teach or even enter the castle since the new year had begun. The classroom was evidence of that much—dust covered the entire room, and you shuddered as you saw spiders skittering across the ceiling as you sat down on a pillow that had once been your seat when you attended the actual class.
Draco arrived only a few minutes after you did, his eyes lighting up at the sight of you. He didn't say a word when he made eye contact with you, but the hug he pulled you into was communication enough. He held you tightly, like you'd disappear if he let go. You felt tears streaming out of your eyes as you held him even tighter to yourself, and when you pulled away, he remained silent still, his hand reaching up to cup your face and wipe your tears away.
"Are you okay?" he asked then, breaking every resolve you'd managed to build up over the month you'd spent without the white-haired boy.
You broke down entirely, falling to the ground with Draco following, wrapping his arms around you as you told him everything that had happened, although you really only focused on the day you had just had, since you had managed to stay beneath the radar for the most part prior to being Imperiused by the Carrows.
Draco was silent when you finished your tirade, only looking back up at you when you let out a shaky breath, watching as you brushed away more wayward tears. It was dark in the Divination classroom, but you could see the pure, unadulterated rage in his eyes, veiled only by the blank expression that masked the rest of his face.
He rubbed a hand over his face, and you knew without him even speaking that he was trying his best not to completely blow up.
"I can't fucking believe this," he growled then, turning away from you even more. "This whole fucking school has gone to absolute shit. My father never thought we got a decent education before, but now that everything is...this way...we'd be better off back in that stupid country house."
He breathed a heavy sigh as he laid back on his back, staring up at the cobweb-covered ceiling. "Fuck," he breathed. "This shit sucks. This shit would give Umbridge an orgasm, that's how draconian this hellhole is. It's fucking mental."
You didn't want to talk about it anymore. You lifted up a hand to place it on his face, leaning over him and looking directly into his stony grey eyes with your own teary ones. "I don't want to talk about it anymore," you begged. "Please. This is you and me."
He sighed again, sitting back up and hooking an arm around your torso to pull you closer. "I'm sorry, y/n," he said quietly. "I'm just so mad. I can't do anything to fucking protect you, you're out here all alone."
"Hey," you said, leaning into him. "I did it on my own for four years, you know. When you and I hated each other and all that."
He buried his face into the crook of your neck. "I never hated you," he mumbled into your skin, and you felt yourself cringe away slightly as his voice tickled your skin. "You were just insufferable."
You rolled your eyes at the jest you knew he didn't mean, and wrapped your arms around him to pull him even closer to you.
You sat there for a few moments more before he pulled away from you, standing up and pulling out his wand. "What are you doing with that?" you asked, your confusion evident in the tone of your voice.
"I, uh—my mother taught me all of the spells I need," he said, and you cocked an eyebrow at how vague he was being. "What?" you asked. "What spells?"
He reached out a hand for you to grab, and when you took it, he pulled you up. You didn't have time to say anything to him before he pointed his wand at you and whispered, "Revelio."
You gasped as you felt the spells holding your fake appearance in place melt away. Draco nodded in silent approval, pocketing his wand as he came closer to you, putting his hands on your waist once more. His eyes darkened even more as he stared back into your own, and you felt your heart rate quicken as his hands crept around you, his fingers teasing the hem of your shirt.
"I've just missed you," he said quietly. "I want you, and I wanted you to look like you when I took you."
You couldn't help yourself; you chuckled at his statement. "How romantic," you joked, but Draco didn't laugh. He leaned forward instead, pulling you closer and planting kisses down your neck.
You breathed out a sigh of pleasure, reveling in the feeling of his lips on your skin. Goosebumps broke out from his very touch, and when his hands made their way up under your shirt, you jumped at the feeling of his cold fingers, but you just as soon leaned back into him, wrapping your arms around him as he leaned back up to kiss you deeply.
He wasted no time in reaching down to tug your pants off, nudging his leg between yours as he laid you back down on the floor, continuing to kiss you. He pulled away only long enough to pull your shirt off and then his own, his hands barely leaving your skin the entire time.
"Gods, I've fucking missed you," he mumbled as he helped you shimmy your bra off as well. His mouth wasted no time in finding your already mostly taut nipples, and you couldn't help the quick breaths that fell from your lips as his mouth worked a little magic of its own on your hot skin.
He moved downwards, his lips leaving a trail of soft kisses all the way down your torso, stopping at the hem of your underwear. You whimpered when he pulled his lips off of you, but he simply smirked as he hooked a finger into your panties and pulled them down your already trembling legs. Whether they were trembling from your arousal or the cold draft slipping through the cracks in the windows—you couldn't even tell.
But none of that mattered once Draco attached his mouth to your core. His tongue moved in figure eights as he slipped two of his fingers into you, moving them in a wavy motion as he pumped them in and out of you. You threaded your fingers through his white-blonde hair, breathing his name as he continued his gentle assault. You felt the fire growing in the pit of your stomach as he picked up the pace slightly, and he hummed against you in such a way that you felt the fire explode across your body, releasing every feeling you'd been deprived of for over a month. You moaned loudly as you rode out your high, only quieting down when the Slytherin boy pulled away from you.
"You've got to be more quiet, princess," he said with a chuckle as he unbuckled his belt. You watched as he did so; somehow, it was one of the hottest things you'd ever witnessed. He pulled his own pants down, revealing his hard member. He knelt back down over you, positioning himself between your legs as you waited expectantly, spreading your legs even more so he could fit in right between them.
He slammed into you unexpectedly, knocking the breath right out of you. Your pants mixed with Draco's groans as he thrusted in and out of you, and your nails raked down his back as you felt yourself quickly approaching a second climax.
Draco kept up his pace even as he leaned back down to kiss you roughly, your fingers finding their way into his hair again. He leaned down into you, lying most of his weight on top of you as he continued to pump in and out of you, his pace quick and forceful.
His hand snaked down your body again to find your clit, wiggling his finger in the perfect way to send you careening over the edge again, and he muffled your cries of pleasure with a heavy, deep kiss. He moved his mouth down your neck once more, sucking heavily so as to make sure a mark would remain.
His climax followed yours shortly after, and he pulled out of you, leaving you shaking and breathing heavily.
"I love you," you breathed once you caught your breath again, and as you sat up, he leaned forward once more to kiss you one more time.
"I need to send owls to you more often," Draco commented as the two of you pulled your clothes back on. "I've missed you more than you fucking know."
You nodded. "It's been rough. I've become friends with Juniper and Silver again, but it's been really lonely all by myself."
Draco sighed. "I know. I wish it were different. I—I'm sorry I can't do anything about it."
You looked at him, kissing him gently. "It isn't your fault," you said reassuringly. "You're just trying to keep me safe."
Draco put his hand on your face one more time, looking into your eyes for what felt like hours before he lifted his wand again. "You need to become Ravena again," he said, the sadness clear in his tone.
"Let's hope you can get the job done," you said, attempting a smile that Draco didn't return.
You stood up, and Draco muttered spells you only recognized from Narcissa weeks before, and when you looked into the mirror in the corner of the classroom, you did, once again, see Ravena Sayre looking back at you. In fact, you'd say your hair looked better than when Narcissa had cast the spells over you. (Not that you'd say that to Narcissa's face, of course.)
You sighed once you were ready to go again, and Draco pulled you in for a tight hug. "I'll send an owl in a few days' time," he promised. "We can start writing each other and I can start sending updates from my mother once I start receiving them."
You nodded. "That'd be great, it'd be nice to relieve some of the stress about the whole thing," you admitted. Draco nodded, or at least tried to. His head still rested on top of yours, as his arms were still wrapped tightly around you.
When you finally pulled away, you stood up on your tiptoes to kiss him one last time. "Until next time," you said quietly, before turning to leave the Divination Tower.
"Y/N, wait," he begged, and you would've turned around even if you hadn't heard the sad desperation in his tone.
You stood there, awaiting to hear what he had asked you to wait for, but the words that came from his mouth weren't the ones you'd expected.
"I love you."