Tsukishima's eyes were fixed on the tall bed-headed man and his dancing partner. Kuroo appeared to be moving a bit better than he had been an hour ago - his dancing was relatively fluid. Nakano was moving beautifully, her hips swaying to the driving beat hypnotically. She was facing away from him, and he found himself desperately wanting to see her face. Was she smiling? Laughing? Looking at his best bro with bedroom eyes? Get a hold of yourself idiot, he told himself sternly, this is Nakano and Kuroo we're talking about. Even if they were both completely snockered, nothing would happen. But then Kuroo leaned forward, placing a hand on Nakano's shoulder to steady himself, whispering in her ear. He watched as their movements came more into synch, allowing their bodies to press closer so Kuroo could continue his whispering of soft words into Nakano's ear.
Tsukishima shook his head almost violently, trying to clear it, succeeding only in making himself feel slightly dizzy. Moron, his logical mind chided himself again, if Kuroo's trying to talk to her at all, he'd have to get right next to her ear, just like you did with Bokuto. There is nothing going on between them! He watched as Nakano turned, eyes bright, sweeping the room. She focused in on a pair of girls, the last two remaining groupies from earlier, who were slowly dancing their way over to Kuroo. The boy still had a hand on Nakano's shoulder, but now his eyes were closed and he looked almost like Akaashi, lost in the movement and the music. Nakano kept her body in front of Kuroo, as if guarding him, her dance moves almost a challenge to the two girls trying to find a way to move in closer to the drunken captain of Nekoma. If it were the Shrimp dancing behind her, Tsukishima's mind supplied, you'd already be pummeling him.
A sudden flurry of emotions threatened to overwhelm the blonde - his hands began to clench, tears pricked his eyes, and his knees began to feel a little weak. All of that disappeared, however, the instant Nakano locked eyes with him.
The look on the girl's face could be described in only one way - come-hither. Kei wasted no time in doing precisely that, his body moving forward almost without him realizing. In moments, he was pushing his way past the groupies, dancing into place in front of Nakano, his hips matching hers at once, his hands falling to hold her waist even as Kuroo moved to put both hands on Nakano's shoulders. Nakano leaned into Tsukki, speaking into his ear.
"You a little drunk, love?" she asked, her hands trailing lightly over his chest.
"Yeah," he replied, feeling his body respond to her touch and the sexy movements of her hips.
She giggled, and Kei knew at once that she was pretty buzzed herself. "Me too. Help me protect our Kuroo-bro from those two girls, okay? Let's show them that he's most definitely not available."
Knowing exactly what Nakano had in mind, Kei chuckled. As one, the two blondes focused their eyes on the two groupies who were now just behind Tsukishima, Kei having to turn his body to be able to look at them. One of them was the pink-haired girl who had talked to him earlier. Nakano looked the two up and down with disdain, and then resolutely turned her back on the girls, focusing her attention on Kuroo. Tsukishima looked at the girl he'd spoken to before directly in the eyes, giving her a wicked smirk. Then he too, turned away, looking at Kuroo. The dark-haired boy's eyes were open now, and he looked at his friends with a cocky grin as they moved a little closer to him again, Kei grinding himself hard against Nakano, tossing his head back, reveling in the pleasurable sensation. Tsukishima raised up his left hand, offering Kuroo a high five. His bro responded, completing the action and then grabbing Tsukki's hand, the other one still on Nakano's shoulder, effectively keeping the three of them together as a unit. Kei saw the wicked gleam in his friend's eye and knew that Kuroo was aware of the way the three of them looked. He couldn't quite hear the two girls behind him, but he was able to catch enough words to know what they were thinking.
"...knew Kuroo was into...think they've...
"...sense. Not gonna lie...it's kinda..."
"...just go. There's no way...tired of...lame boys..."
Tsukishima smirked to himself as the girl's voices faded away. Having been unable to get to their desired captain, they had apparently decided the party was no longer worthy of them. Good riddance, Tsukki thought, noticing that Kuroo had dropped his hand.
The three danced just so for a few minutes, Kuroo once again closing his eyes and losing himself in the sheer physical pleasure of dancing. He knew he was still pretty drunk, and it felt good to just let his body do what it wanted, knowing his friends would make sure he was okay. I've got the best friends in the world, he thought to himself, a smile coming to play on his lips. As the song changed up, Kuroo leaned across the pretty setter so Kei could hear him, gently pressing the three of them tight together. "Thought you didn't share, bro," Kuroo said, winking at his kohai.
"Only on the dance floor, Kuroo," Tsukki responded, "What kind of a bro would I be if I didn't help keep you from getting into trouble?"
A pair of strong arms wrapped themselves around the three friends, almost making them tumble to the floor. "That's our Tsukki-bro!" Bokuto shouted as he joined the little group, giving his friends a squeeze and then letting them go so he could dance alongside them. Kei noticed Akaashi was now on the other side of them, eyes closed, limbs flailing rhythmically. The four boys had now effectively boxed Nakano in, as if she were the one that needed protecting. After a bit, Nakano turned to face Tsukki again, her eyes trained on him, full of love and longing. Kei smiled at the girl, color rising to his cheeks, embarrassment flooding him as he recalled how concerned he'd been when he'd first seen Nakano dancing with Kuroo.
"They all mean the world to me," Nakano said, leaning in close, wrapping her arms around his neck, "but you're my lover boy. The only one I could ever want."
Kei's blush deepened. "You know me too well, Roses."
The couple kissed for a long moment, then threw themselves into having fun dancing with their friends.
🏐🏐🏐
About an hour later, Kuroo found himself flopped in a chair in his now quiet family room, drinking water and trying hard not to just fall asleep where he sat. He was starting to feel more tired than drunk, which he supposed was a good sign. The party was mostly broken up, and Akaashi, Bokuto and Tsukki were finishing up the final cleaning. Naka-chan was sitting on the arm of the chair he was in, keeping an eye on him. She too, was sipping on some water, and when Kuroo looked up at her and smiled, she giggled.
"How are you feeling?" she asked.
Kuroo chuckled. "Think I'm down into the heavy buzz range now, Pretty Setter," he replied, chucking her under the chin for the second time that night, "Kinda like you."
She laughed properly aloud at that. "I wouldn't call this heavy, just buzzed." She put an arm around his shoulders, leaning over to place her head on top of his. "So, do you want to..."
"There they are! Bokuto told us you guys were here somewhere," Yukie exclaimed as she walked into the family room with Kaori.
Kuroo laughed. "Somewhere? How drunk is Bokuto? I haven't moved from this chair since he saw me fall into it."
Kaori grinned. "Well, he was a little busy when I asked him. He and Tsukishima are carrying Shibayama up to the second floor. Apparently the poor kid puked his guts up, and then passed out."
Nakano tried not to laugh, but couldn't help it. She knew Tsukki was probably feeling a little irritated at the moment...unless... "What's Akaashi doing?" she asked.
"Cleaning the bathroom," both girls intoned. Nevermind, Nakano thought, Kei is probably more than happy to carry the drunk rather than clean up his puke.
"Akaashi is truly a man among men," Kuroo said gravely, making all three girls laugh.
The setter in question happened to be passing by the family room at that moment, and popped his head into the room from the hallway. "You owe me, pain-in-the-ass Kuroo-san," he said, voice serious but eyes merry. "I don't know what yet, but you owe me."
"And I will repay that debt happily, Akaashi-kun. Thank you!" Kuroo smiled as Akaashi moved on to finish his cleaning. "I owe Boku-bro and Tsukki-bro, too. I better start thinking of something good. This turned into a hell of a night!"
"And it isn't over yet, Kuroo," Kaori said with a mischievous grin. "We were sent to find you and anyone else still capable of walking and get you all to come downstairs. The boys have decided that it isn't a proper party at Kuroo's until a game is played, and they've decided tonight's game needs to be King's Cup."
"King's Cup?!" Kuroo roared, "For crying out loud, haven't we had enough drunks at this party?"
"Aw, come on, Kuroo! The boys downstairs are all still pretty sober. One game won't hurt anyone! Besides, I think they're hoping you might break out something that isn't beer," Kaori's eyes were definitely telling Kuroo she was hoping he would do so too. Yukie just looked at the cat captain pleadingly.
Kuroo gave them a disapproving eye. "Who exactly is downstairs demanding this? I know darn well it isn't Kenma."
Yukie chuckled. "True. But Lev and Yaku were telling tales of other evenings spent playing games with you, and now Inuoka and Washio have declared they need to experience this for themselves."
Kuroo scoffed. "Washio belongs to you damn owls, what he wants is not my problem." Both Yukie and Kaori gave him pouty faces while Nakano giggled into her hand. Kuroo eyed all three girls once more, and caved. "Alright, alright. I guess I do have a responsibility to Inuoka to make sure he experiences the glory of a Kuroo drinking game before I graduate. Yukie and Kaori, go on downstairs and ask my guests what they would like to drink. Tell them not to get too creative, I'm too tired for anything super fancy. Naka-chan, help me up out of this chair and let's go find the rest of the boys."
Yukie and Kaori did as they were told, calling their repeated thanks to Kuroo as they went - Kuroo lazily waved them off. He then turned to Nakano, who was now standing in front of him, holding both his arms out to the girl. "Help," he said in the most adorable way, making Nakano laugh so hard she could barely stand. Kuroo grinned at the girl, waiting for her to recover and help him to his feet, which involved only a slight balance check for the tall captain.
"Trapped by your own reputation. Poor Tetsu-chan."
Kuroo struck a dramatic pose, the back of his right hand draped across his forehead in mock despair. "So true. It's a trial to be so incredible, Naka-chan."
Nakano laughed at his theatrics. "Are you sure you should be playing a drinking game? Haven't you been drunk enough for one night?"
"Actually, you and I are going to game the system, Pretty Setter," he said, booping the girl's nose and then leading her to the kitchen. He proceeded to pull two beers from the refrigerator and pour out the contents, filling both bottles with water and handing one to the girl.
"Waste of perfectly good beer, Tetsu-chan," Nakano said, chuckling.
"For a good cause, Naka-chan." He met her eyes, suddenly serious, "Once we satisfy the group need for a game, I'd really like to talk with you a bit...and I'd like to be at least moderately sober when we do."
Nakano smiled softly, giving her friend a warm hug. "You bet, Tetsu-chan. Now come on, let's go play a drinking game."
Fifteen minutes later, the twelve remaining people in Kuroo's house were comfortably arranged in and against the couches and chairs of the man cave, drinks in hand. After some debate, Kuroo had decided that those who wanted something other than beer would have to make due with rum and Coke, as he had a delightful bottle of spiced rum and he was too worn out to perform any fancy mixology that evening. Tsukishima decided to give it a try and was glad he did - he definitely preferred it to the beer.
"Are you sure you don't want one?" he asked Nakano, who was cuddled up against him on the couch, after she took a sip of his drink, agreeing with him that the rum was delicious.
"Nah, I'll stick with this. Kuroo opened it for me," she said, sipping delicately from the bottle and kissing her boyfriend quickly.
He arched a brow at her, licking his lips and noting the taste. "Ah, I see," he grinned slyly at Nakano. "I assume he's got the same kind, then?" Nakano hummed in response. The blonde nuzzled into the girl's hair, whispering in her ear. "Too bad, I kinda like it when you get a little drunk, Roses." The girl squirmed as he nibbled gently on her earlobe.
"Alright, you two crows, that's enough of that. Save it for the bedroom," Yaku chided the pair, grinning at them.
"Okay friends, here's how this works," Kuroo began, sitting himself down at last and handing Yaku his rum and Coke. "My house, my rules. I'll tell you what your card means once you draw it. You'll figure it out as we go along. Fourth king drawn drinks the cup." He gestured grandly to the goblet he'd placed on the table in the center of their circle. The stem of the goblet was a beautiful blue dragon, with its wings encircling the cup. "Kenma, we're going to start with you, and play will move to the right."
"Why do you always start with me?" Kenma pouted, reaching out to the cards scattered around the goblet and selecting one.
Kuroo leaned over to his best friend, getting right in his face. "Because that's the only way I can make sure you play, dude." Kenma groused, showing Kuroo the three of clubs. "Haha! Drink, Kenma!"
Kenma rolled his eyes and took a sip of his beer, while Kei clicked his tongue. "Please tell me there's more to this game than you pick a card and Kuroo tells you to drink," the middle blocker said.
"Nah, Kenma got a three, and three means me. As in, you pick a three, you're the one who has to drink. It's a pretty standard rule in King's Cup," Bokuto replied, "Kuroo-bro isn't that drunk anymore, Tsukki-dude."
Kuroo also picked a three, taking a discreet sip of his 'beer' as play moved on to Yaku. When Yaku also had to drink, having pulled the third three in a row, Yukie wagged a finger at Kuroo. "Did you use a gag deck, you naughty cat? Are they all threes?"
Kuroo guffawed. "No, I swear, it's a normal deck of cards! Besides, that would make the game kinda boring, if it was all threes."
Washio held up the eight of hearts. "So, what does an eight mean, Kuroo?"
"Ah, you get to choose a mate, Washio! Choose carefully, because whenever you drink, they have to drink," Kuroo grinned at the middle blocker from Fukurodani.
"I see," the dark-haired boy replied, "Well, better be my mate, then, Captain," he said, pointing at Bokuto across the circle. Bokuto grinned and saluted his middle blocker with his rum and Coke.
"So what do we do for a jack, Kuroo-san?" Inuoka asked, holding up the jack of clubs.
Kuroo chuckled. "Alright everyone, it's Never Have I Ever, with three fingers. First one to go out, drinks. Start us off Inuoka."
"Ummm...never have I ever kissed someone in this circle," Inuoka blurted out.
"Do foot kisses count?" Kaori asked, chuckling and winking at Tsukki.
"A kiss is a kiss, Kaori," Tsukishima replied, "Put a finger down."
"We keep going to the right, so it's your go, Tsukki," Kuroo said.
In the end, it was Bokuto who had to drink for that one, by virtue of having been the only person in the circle who'd ever gotten himself caught in a volleyball net. Why does that absolutely not surprise me, Tsukki thought.
Yukie held up the queen of spades. "Questions only, Kuroo-san?"
"Does that mean we can only speak in questions?" asked Kaori, sitting to Yukie's right.
"So is it my turn now?" Kenma sighed out.
"Does everyone understand how this works?" Kuroo asked.
"Why do they all keep asking questions?" Washio intoned, turning to Inuoka.
"Because it's questions only," Inuoka replied to the boy on his left. A collective groan ran around the circle. "What?" Inuoka asked.
Bokuto chuckled. "Now he asks a question. Stupid cat."
Kuroo mock-glared at his bro. "Inuoka, drink. You were supposed to keep asking questions to the person to your right. First one to not ask a question, or to answer the person on their left, loses. And that's you, my boy!"
Inuoka took a sip of his rum and Coke as Tsukishima pulled a card. He held up the ten of spades, quirking a brow in Kuroo's direction.
"Categories! Tsukki-bro, you name a category, and then we begin to the right. Name something in the category, or you drink. Here we go!" Kuroo said expansively, raising his bottle.
"Dinosaurs," Tsukki said immediately.
"Brachiosaurus," responded Nakano.
Lev was next. "Utahraptor." Tsukki looked amazed at the Nekoma first year.
"Tyrannosaurus rex."
"Edmontosaurus."
"Dilophosaurus."
Tsukishima was duly impressed with the ease with which most of the people in the circle rattled off the names of dinosaurs. In fact, the game went fully through the group and was back around to Kuroo for the second time, who said "Pteranodon."
"That's not a dinosaur," Tsukki called out, "Drink, Kuroo."
"Wait, what? It has to be." Kuroo said, looking a bit confused.
"Pteranodon was a flying reptile, Kuroo. Flying reptiles were not dinosaurs." Tsukki smirked impressively. "You lost, bro, so drink." Not that it matters much, Tsukki thought, reflexively going to sip from his own drink and stopping himself.
Yaku drew another jack, resulting in Nakano, Kaori and Yukie all eventually having to drink in response to the statement 'never have I ever worn a bra' from Kenma. "That was a bit biased, Kenma," Kaori said.
"Isn't that the point of the game? To get someone else to drink?" Kenma muttered, a small smile coming to his lips.
"TOUCH THE FLOOR!" Kuroo suddenly yelled, diving out of the chair he was in and slapping down a hand, waving a four in the air. Most of the rest of the group followed, except for Washio, who quietly sipped his beer, crossing his legs in comfort from his seat on a couch.
"Nope, not happening," Washio said, sighing in satisfaction. "Drink with me, Captain," he then stated, looking at Bokuto with a wide grin. Bokuto sipped his drink, giving Washio a glare.
"Better be careful Washio-san," Akaashi warned. "Making your captain lose a game could well be grounds for penalty laps at the next practice." Washio just laughed.
"I got a five," Inuoka announced, grinning. Nakano chuckled at the Nekoma first year, whose cheeks were getting decidedly rosy.
"Five is guys! All the boys drink." Kuroo called, sipping on his bottle.
A second five was drawn by Tsukishima, making the boys all drink again. "Oh this is good, I'm liking this," Kaori said.
"Careful, Kaori, there's bound to be a six sometime soon," Kuroo said.
"Close but not quite, Kuroo-bro," Nakano said, showing her card. "What's your rule for a nine?"
"You start a rhyming round, Naka-chan. Say a word, and then we each have to say a word that rhymes with it, but it can't be the same as anyone else's," Kuroo replied.
Nakano smirked, looking at Lev. "Decanted," she said.
Lev, who had already been reasonably tipsy when the game had started, just blinked at her. "I don't think I could rhyme that while sober," he said, sipping from his beer.
Akaashi drew a second nine, starting the game again with 'jumpy', which fell apart when Nakano tried to convince them that 'skimpy' was a reasonable rhyme. "Just drink, Nakano!" Lev cried, and the girl in question complied with a grin.
"First King!" yelled Lev, showing off his card. "So what do I do?"
Kuroo chuckled. "Okay Lev, pour your beer into the cup until it's a little less than a third full."
The silver haired boy complied, which finished out his beer. He went to grab another as play continued. Akaashi chose Nakano as his 'mate,' and then Bokuto screamed "HANDS TO HEAVEN!" upon pulling the first seven of the game. Everyone threw their hands up, except Washio, who just laughed as Bokuto once again had to drink with him.
Yukie named brands of volleyballs as her category when she pulled a ten, which had Lev drinking again, announcing that he didn't know volleyballs had brands, which earned him a room full of jeers. Akaashi drew a four, and Washio kept up his strategy of making his captain drink, resulting in Kuroo having to fix Bokuto a second rum and Coke, a large portion of which went right into the cup as Bokuto immediately drew the second king.
"Ugh," Nakano whispered to Tsukki, "Beer and rum and Coke all in one cup? That's not going to be a good taste."
"Mmmm," Kei hummed, nuzzling into the girl, "I'd rather be tasting you, Roses." He began tracing shapes on the girl's legs.
"Now see here, lover boy," the girl whispered, "I thought I was the one who got turned on when tipsy."
The blonde chuckled low, lips brushing against the shell of her ear. "Maybe it was all that dancing earlier. Or maybe it's the taste of the rum. Or maybe you just turn me on that much, Roses."
"Hey Tsukishima, stop nibbling on your girlfriend and drink. Yukie drew a five." Lev grinned at the couple as Tsukishima sat back and took a sip of his rum and Coke.
"You have to drink too, Nakano-chan," Akaashi reminded her, "since you're my mate."
Tsukishima arched a brow. "I think I might have to take issue with that, Akaashi-san," he said, causing general laughter. Nakano snuggled into him, sipping on her drink, and the boy whispered "Mine," in her ear, making her giggle as always.
"Alright ladies, it's our turn to drink! I drew a six, Kuroo. And six is chicks, if I'm not mistaken," Kaori said. Kuroo agreed that it was, and all three girls drank. Kenma flashed a seven, causing hands to fly into the air again - all except Washio, who once again laughed as he forced his captain to drink along with him. Bokuto grumbled about cheeky middle blockers who seemed to enjoy disrespecting their captains while Washio continued to smirk at him.
Kuroo kicked off another round of questions only by drawing a queen, this one ended by Bokuto, who when it came around to him simply glared at Washio and told him to quit deliberately throwing rounds. Yaku laughed at the owlish captain. "You literally just threw a round yourself, Bokuto, and you're the only one who has to drink! Quit worrying about it and just enjoy the game!" The look on Bokuto's face was priceless as he realized he'd just made himself have to drink out of irritation at having to drink so many times. He suddenly burst into laughter, sipping on his rum and Coke again.
Yukie drew the first ace of the game. "Do you play a true waterfall, Kuroo?"
"Nah," the bedhead replied, "I never liked waterfall - some idiot always takes it too far and people end up sick. I usually just use everyone drinks for aces."
"Thank you, Kuroo-san. I think I've cleaned up enough vomit for one day," Akaashi said gratefully, sipping at his beer. The rest of the circle followed suit, chuckling at the setter.
Kaori held up the two of diamonds. "I don't think we've had a two yet - what's this one, Kuroo?"
"Two is you! You get to pick someone, Kaori, and they have to drink," Kuroo replied.
"Alright! Yaku, take a nice big sip of the rum and Coke," Kaori said, smiling at the libero, who happily obliged, smacking his lips.
Kenma drew the third king, pouring the remains of his beer into the cup, which was now nearly full to the brim. As the setter went to get another beer, Kuroo looked around the circle, grinning. "Alright, friends, we're in the final stretch. The next person to get a king drinks the cup. Best of luck!"
It took about another half an hour before the game finally ended, things getting progressively sillier as they played through additional rounds of categories, questions only, and Never Have I Ever. Play was paused several times to allow for people to refresh their drinks as they finished them, but finally, the last king was drawn by none other than Kaori.
"Oh man, this sucks!" Kaori eyed the cup like it was some kind of snake ready to strike. "Do I have to drink this whole thing? I'm gonna end up totally hammered!" She was standing in the middle of the circle, holding the cup gingerly, and looking pleadingly around for deliverance.
"Isn't that the point of King's Cup, Kaori? Someone loses at the end and drinks the cup full of oddly mixed booze." Kuroo grinned mischievously at the girl.
"I think it's entirely fitting, given that you were the one who suggested this game," Lev said, his eyes beginning to look a bit droopy.
"Ohoho! You failed to mention that part when you came begging for me to run this little game, Miss Manager of Fukurodani!" Kuroo said, wagging a finger at her.
"Just drink it, Kaori," Kenma muttered. "Drink it," he said, putting a little rhythm into the words.
Several of the boys picked up on the chant at once, and soon Kaori found herself trapped in a ring of people all urging her to down the cup full of mingled alcohols. Caving to the inevitable, the girl tossed her head back, opened her throat, and poured the liquid down, trying as hard as she could not to have to taste it. The circle cheered her as she shook herself, tongue lolling out at the horrible taste that she wasn't quite able to avoid. She bowed with a flourish, accepting the acclaim of her friends with a wry grin.
Nakano giggled at Tsukki. "I can't believe Kenma started that."
Kei sipped on his second rum and Coke and giggled. "It does seem a little unusual, but then again, we're all a little drunk, Roses." He kissed her cheek repeatedly. "Did you and Kuroo talk yet?"
"Not yet," the girl replied softly, "I'm expecting he'll want to go do that soon." Nakano looked at the captain of Nekoma, who was currently handing out water to everyone and encouraging them to drink it, especially Kaori. He was smiling and chatting with everyone, but she could see his eyes were sad. Kuroo was slowly approaching sober, and soon, he wouldn't be able to keep his feelings at bay anymore.
"Damn," Tsukki swore, "I miss you, Roses. I wanna go upstairs and cuddle with you."
"I know, love, and we will. But I think Kuroo really needs to talk first. I'm sure Bokuto will be staying tonight too, so hang with him a little while. And don't get too drunk, lover boy. I don't want you to fall asleep on me before I've had a chance to love on you a little." Nakano pulled her blonde boyfriend into a hug, his golden eyes lighting up at her promise of showing him some more affection later.
Suddenly, the sound of someone stumbling down the stairs could be heard, and Yamamoto came staggering into the room. "Cap'n," the boy said to Kuroo as he swayed on his feet, "I think Shib'ma an' I sh'd go home 'cause we're both pretty fucked up. C'n someone tell me where tha' is?" Yamamoto blinked repeatedly at his captain, then sat down hard on the floor.
Kuroo couldn't help himself, he exploded in his raucous hyena laughter, starting Yamamoto laughing too.
In the end, it was decided that Yaku would make sure that Shibayama and Yamamoto got home safely, while Washio took charge of Yukie and the rapidly deteriorating Kaori as the effects of the King's Cup began to take hold of her. Akaashi agreed to make sure Lev and Inuoka got home alright, since both first years were definitely more than a little tipsy. As arrangements for getting all parties home safely were being worked out, Bokuto sidled up to Kuroo.
"Go on, bro," the owl-haired man said to his friend, "go talk with Naka-chan. Tsukki and I will make sure everything is taken care of down here, and then we'll have a little bro time of our own."
"Thanks, bro. I really owe you guys," Kuroo clapped his buddy on the shoulder.
"Nah. That's what bros are for, my man," Bokuto grinned, downing the rest of the rum and Coke he had left from the game. His eyes were wide and bright, and Kuroo chuckled at him.
"Don't get too plastered down here," Kuroo admonished, "and drink some water, okay?"
Bokuto just shooed him off towards Nakano, who was already waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs. She gave her blonde boyfriend an affectionate look, and chuckled as her tipsy sweetheart made a kissy face at her. Nakano wondered how drunk he would be by the time she met up with him later.
She followed Kuroo upstairs, the tall young man pretty steady on his feet by now, although he was moving rather slowly. He rounded the corner from the door leading down to the man cave, headed for the second flight of stairs and his bedroom, before the thought crossed his mind that maybe it might seem a little forward of him to be taking his bro's girl into his bedroom for a private talk. He stopped short, looking between the stairs going up and the family room. He turned to face Nakano, who was looking at him quizzically. "Uh..." Kuroo began to rub the back of his neck, "maybe we should talk down here? I mean, we can talk anywhere, we don't..."
Nakano looked her friend up and down. He was clearly tired, and his body was beginning to show it. His eyes had the beginnings of impressive dark circles and bags, and he looked like he was about to fall over - not from intoxication, but from sheer exhaustion. She placed a gentle hand on Kuroo's shoulder. "Tetsu-chan, why don't we talk in your room? You look like you're about ready to fall asleep where you stand. Come on, let's go, okay?" The girl took the lead, holding the boy's hand and taking him upstairs into his bedroom. Just like Yua, Kuroo thought, gods, I miss her. But I'm so glad Naka-chan is here.
Nakano plunked herself down to sit on the edge of Kuroo's bed, tucking a leg up underneath her body so she could face the boy as he settled next to her. Now that they were alone and mostly sober, Kuroo looked a little embarrassed, a little shell shocked, and a little confused. "Alright, Tetsu-chan, talk to me. I know you and your girlfriend broke up earlier today..."
Kuroo chuckled, albeit rather sadly. "Yesterday, actually. It's my birthday now," he mused, looking at the clock by his bedside.
Nakano started. "It's your...oh, I didn't know! I knew your birthday was in the same month as mine, but I didn't know we were only a week apart. Happy birthday, Tetsu-chan," the girl gushed, leaning over and giving him a kiss on the cheek. Kuroo couldn't help but smile softly. "Now, come on, tell me what's going on with you. Please?"
The boy leaned over, running his hands through his already messed up hair and breathing out a long sigh. "So, you know I was dating Katsumi - the girl from the Play House." Nakano nodded, encouraging him to continue. "I think when I told you guys about her, we'd just been on our third date. Well, it was on that date that we'd had our first real make out session. It was awesome." Nakano could see that Kuroo was already lost in his memory, no longer really seeing the room he was in. "After that, we saw each other almost every day. It was nice, Naka-chan, having someone to talk with, share things with, kiss the living heck out of." He chuckled a bit sadly. "But it wasn't just physical. We talked for hours, about music, school, life, all kinds of things. She writes poetry, and she shared some of it with me. She even seemed to enjoy listening to me geek out over chemistry stuff. We seemed to get along so well. I really fell for her. Really hard. I was so excited when Tsukki-bro called to arrange for you guys to be here this weekend. I would finally get the chance to introduce my girl to my team, my bros, my dear friends. I couldn't wait."
Kuroo paused, sighing again, head once again in his hands, hanging down between his knees. Nakano reached over, gently rubbing her hand over his. He reached over with his other hand to pat hers a few times, giving it a squeeze. "So what happened yesterday?" she asked softly.
"I went over to hang out with her at her place for a while. We were going to spend a little time together, and then go back to my place and get set up for the party. She said she wanted to give me something special for my birthday. It was special, alright."
His tone gave Nakano pause. It sounded both angry and longing. "What was it?"
"The best damn blowjob I've ever had in my life."
Nakano exhaled softly, noticing that Kuroo was trembling. It took him several moments before he was able to continue. His voice was strained and low, and Nakano had to fight the urge to just pull the boy into a bone-crushing hug.
"Not that I've had like a ton to compare it to or anything...but...yeah. It was incredible, Naka-chan. It was the first time we'd ever been that intimate, and the first time I've been that intimate with someone in...well...let's just say it had been a long while. Dammit, it felt so good." Nakano could hear the self-loathing in his voice at that admission, making her very concerned. "I...I thought maybe, I might just be in love. Not just because of the sex, but because everything had all just seemed to...I... ugh...dammit, I feel like...some kind of man-whore or..."
"Tetsuro." Nakano's voice was sharp, and Kuroo's eyes instantly snapped to hers. Her bright blue eyes flashed with anger and Kuroo found himself trapped in her gaze, like a bird hypnotized by a snake. "Don't even think that of yourself. I know you well enough to know the kind of man you are. Your being intimate with with the person you were dating at the time and enjoying it is not something you should be ashamed of, okay?" Wow, now I really understand why Kei is so insistent about this, Nakano thought, just hearing someone you care about be so very hard on themselves can be a real trigger. She chuckled internally. Gods, Kei and I are so alike in so many ways. Her attention returned to Kuroo, who was looking just this side of devastated. She calmed her features, placing a hand on his shoulder and looking at him with tenderness. "Tetsu-chan, I care about you, and it makes me angry to hear you speak unkindly of yourself. So please, don't. Just let that go. Now, obviously, something happened beyond that, hmmm?"
"Yeah," Kuroo breathed out, and it seemed like he was trying to gather the strength to continue. He sucked in a sharp breath, and then plunged onward. "She'd just...finished ...and we were kinda, I dunno, if it were a more pleasant memory I'd say basking in the afterglow, when suddenly the door to her apartment opens and in walks a good-looking guy. Shorter than me, but hey, most are. Brown hair, blue eyes, nice smile. He looks us over, still smiling. I'm panicking, since I'm literally laid bare on the couch. Not even a throw pillow close at hand to cover the essentials, you know? So I'm at a complete loss and wondering what the hell is going on, when he says 'Hey honey, this your new boy toy?'"
Shit, Nakano thought, oh gods, oh Tetsuro, no wonder you got so stupid drunk. Of all the people on the planet, why did this happen to him? He deserves so much better. She squeezed his hand, trying to give him the strength to continue.
He let out another breath, this one hard and loud. "So, the short version of this is that I found out, as I lay naked on their couch, that Katsumi has a long-term partner. They have an open relationship, with both having other partners as they want, with one caveat. They each can reject the other's additional partners for whatever reason. And apparently, Eishun - that's her partner's name - declared me to be 'absolutely too fucking hot' to continue being with Katsumi. Which is a compliment, in a way, I suppose." He tried to make that sound like his usual cockiness, but it came out full of hurt and anguish. "The long version of that story involves me saying quite a few stupid, confused phrases, and listening to them discuss my merits as a side lover in rather frank terms, almost as if I weren't splayed out for them in my birthday suit like a side of goddamn beef. Frankly, it was entirely too painful and embarrassing, and I'm really not feeling the need to relive it all again. In the end, Eishun said he was not okay with me continuing to see Katsumi. And that was it. She handed me my pants, said 'Well, Tets'kun, it was fun while it lasted. Glad I at least got to blow you for your birthday,' and the two of them went into their bedroom in the back of the place, probably to fuck, since even I could see how turned on Eishun was by the whole thing. The last thing I heard from them was 'do us a favor and be gone before we're done, okay?' I don't even really know which one said it."
Nakano just held her friend's hand, trying to process what she'd just heard. She was amazed he'd been able to hide all that away for the whole night, amazed he hadn't simply broken down as he sobered up. She found herself at a loss for words, unsure what she could possibly say to heal the wounds he'd been dealt in the past twenty-four hours.
Head hanging down again, Kuroo suddenly began to word vomit, as if he couldn't stop, as if no one was even really there to hear him. "I mean, I wish they'd talked to me. I could be okay with a relationship like that. I mean, I love my bros, right? I'm not like, against gay sex or anything. Heck, I've seen Bokuto and Tsukki naked, even jacked off a time or two with Bokuto, like not touching each other or anything but in the same room, so it's not like seeing a guy...even watching a guy being with a girl that I'm with too, I mean, it could work. I'd be okay with it. Hell, I'm such a touchy-feely bastard I'd probably be able to really get into it, ya know, like once we all knew each other and started to care for one another..."
"And there, Testu-chan, is the real issue here. This isn't about sex, or whether or not you'd be okay having a male partner, or a polyamorous relationship." Kuroo looked up at Nakano, and she could see him trying desperately to figure out which muscles he needed to clench to keep the tears that were swimming in his eyes from falling. "Tetsuro, this is about respect. Or more properly, the lack of it. This girl, she was no better than the girls that you wanted me to protect you from tonight while we were dancing. Katsumi never respected you, never told you the truth. It might have seemed like she was treating you well, but when push came to shove, you really were just a boy toy to her. Something she could play with when her main squeeze wasn't around. Because when you love and respect someone, you don't treat them like a side of beef, Tetsu-chan. She had no right, none at all, to treat you that way." Kuroo's eyes widened, tears running out of them, as he realized that Nakano was genuinely angry. Her voice was calm, even soothing, but her clenched fists betrayed her deep emotions in the moment. "I am so, so sorry you went through this. You most certainly did not deserve it. And I hope you know, Tetsuro, that none of it, absolutely none of it, was your fault. You are a kind, sweet, loving, caring man, Tetsu-chan. You're right, you love your bros, and me, and your friends, and you show us all that in so many ways - little and big. You've got such a big heart, and you give of yourself so readily. And damn it, you are deserving of a romantic partner who loves and respects and treasures you for the incredible person you are. Please, Tetsuro, please believe me when I tell you this."
The dam inside of Kuroo finally burst at his friend's words. A mournful sob escaped him, tears rushing down his face as he buried himself in Nakano's shoulder, clinging to her like a wounded child clings to his mother. "Why?!" he sobbed, words soggy with tears and anguish, "Why does it always happen to me, Nakano?! I just want...I just..." His words dissolved into sobs as he cried it all out on the strawberry blonde. Nakano held him, crooning soft words of comfort and rubbing his back, her other hand smoothing his hair. She took her anger and boxed it up, placing it aside for later examination. He doesn't need to feel how pissed off I am at this girl for hurting him, she thought, that can come later, when the pain he's feeling right now begins to fade. There's more here, more than just this one girl who's treated him badly. But I don't know how much more he can do tonight. She waited, providing comfort and letting Kuroo decide what, if anything else, he needed to get off his chest this evening.
When he spoke again, Kuroo's voice was muffled and small, and still rather wet-sounding. His arms slipped up around Nakano's neck, holding her close to him. "Why can't I ever seem to find someone nice, Naka-chan?" he mumbled, "Someone I can care for, and share with, and love on, and be there for. What's wrong with me, Nakano? Why is it I always find the worst girls?"
She could feel his tears continue to fall as he turned his head, poking his nose into her neck, resting his cheek against her shoulder. She sighed softly. "Oh, Tetsu-chan, absolutely nothing is wrong with you! And as to why you seem to always find the worst girls, well, I wish I could answer that. Why did I ever date Oikawa? Why did I get hit by a drunk driver? I can't answer these kinds of questions for my own life, let alone for yours. But I can tell you one thing, something that Tsukki has been working very hard to teach me. Whatever has happened to you up to this point, has made you into the person you are, and the person you are is wonderful. I know that doesn't make the hurt less right now, but I hope it helps you realize that you are the sum of all your experiences, good and bad. You learn from both, and both can make you a better version of you. You might not have a girlfriend right now, but you have people who love you very, very much. And each and every one of us is so grateful to have you in our lives. If you don't believe me, just ask Tsukki. He cares about you a hell of a lot, Tetsu-chan. 'Course, you might have to get a couple drinks in him before he'll admit that to you." A sodden chuckle sounded from the boy on her shoulder, and Nakano smiled. "And one day, you're gonna find that right girl, and she's gonna be so damn lucky to have you. You're going make her so stupid happy. And I know she'll do the same for you, because she'll really love you the way you deserve to be loved."
A deep, lustrous sigh came from Kuroo, and his tears seemed to have finally stopped. "I know you're right. I just...feel so dumb. I wanted to believe that Katsumi was genuine. That maybe for once, I'd found a girl who would..."
"Tetsu-chan, stop. You're not dumb, or a fool, or anything other than a good man. You believed her because you're not the kind of person who would use someone in the way she used you, and she was very careful not to show that side of herself to you. You believed her because up until that moment, she'd given you no reason not to. I know this is tough to hear right now, right after you've been betrayed so badly, but don't stop trusting, Tetsu-chan. If you don't take the risk, you could miss out on the best thing to ever happen to you. Just know that when this happens, when it doesn't work out and you're feeling hurt, I'm here. Tsukki's here. Boku-bro's here. We've always got you, Kuroo-bro." She snuggled him, squeezing him tight.
The two friends remained so, Nakano holding on to Kuroo and letting him just be for a few minutes. His breathing slowly regulated, becoming calmer, more even. Nakano began to wonder if the boy was going to fall asleep on her shoulder when suddenly, he spoke up again.
"Naka-chan?" The girl hummed softly in reply. Kuroo's voice was small and mumbly and sounded very sleepy. "I miss her. Well, I guess maybe, I miss who I thought she was. I...I feel lonely again, Naka-chan. I don't want to be lonely anymore."
"I know, Tetsu-chan. And I'm sorry about that. I wish I could say you won't be lonely for long, but I don't know that for sure. But I know two things. One, you won't be lonely forever. And two, when you feel lonely, you know you've got people who love you. Tell us, and we'll help. I promise." She gently pushed on him, making him sit up. Once he was off her shoulder, he watched her dazedly as she turned down one side of the bed, fluffing up his pillows, and then situated herself on top of his blankets, patting the bed and opening her arms wide.
Kuroo's face suddenly erupted in crimson. "Naka-chan, I...you..."
The girl chuckled. "Tetsu-chan, I am not offering you a pity fuck."
Kuroo's eyes went wide as he choked on his own spit, and then laughed in spite of himself.
Nakano smiled. "There's my Kuroo-bro. But even if I were single, I would not be offering you a pity fuck right now, you know."
Kuroo gave her a sleepy grin. "Harsh, Naka-chan."
"No, Tetsu-chan. I wouldn't be offering you such a thing because you neither need nor deserve that. And you know it. You're a better man than that, don't ever forget it. That's why you don't fool around with those...what did you call them? Groupies? You know you're worth way more than that, Tetsu-chan. Right?" She gave him a very serious look.
"Right," he replied, then heaved a deep sigh. "So then, what are you offering me?"
"A bedtime cuddle. Maybe even a lullaby, if you're good. You've had a heck of a long day, your body is about done, and you need some sleep. I'm not leaving this room until I'm sure you're getting it. When you wake up, I have a feeling we will be celebrating your birthday in earnest, and I think you'll want to be well rested, Tetsu-chan. So come on and let me help you fall asleep, okay? Do you want to go change clothes?"
Kuroo clambered into his bed, letting Nakano tuck the blankets around him. "Nah," he said as he settled in, "I'm too tired to care, at this point." She wrapped her arm around him, gently playing with his messy hair. "You're just like Yua," he whispered, already sounding very, very sleepy again, "You take such good care of me."
"I hope I get to meet her sometime," Nakano said softly. She then began gently humming a lullaby she remembered from childhood.
"Pretty," Kuroo mumbled, as Nakano began to quietly sing the words to the old song, "Love you, Naka-chan."
Nakano slowly finished her lullaby, listening carefully as Kuroo's breathing settled down to become deep and rhythmic. At last, she bent down gently, pressing a soft kiss to the sleeping captain's forehead. "Love you too, Tetsu-chan," she whispered, before turning out the lights and slipping quietly out of the boy's room.
🏐🏐🏐
It took a fair bit of time to get everyone sorted out and on their way home via Uber. Kenma stayed until the end, heading back to his own home next door once the final group of three were on their way. At long last, it was just Tsukishima and Bokuto in the man cave. Bokuto stretched noisily and plunked himself down on a barstool.
"Hey hey hey, Tsukki-bro, do you think you can make a rum thing like Kuroo did? Because I could totally go for like one more of those, ya know?"
Tsukishima was still nursing his second rum and Coke from the game, and he was already feeling plenty blurry from it. He knew Bokuto was at least as drunk as he was, maybe even a bit more. "Boku-bro, I am not making you another drink unless you drink at least half a bottle of water first," Tsukki said, surprising himself by agreeing to mix Bokuto a drink at all. He hadn't really watched Kuroo making the drinks, but the name rum and Coke seemed to imply a relatively simple recipe. Tsukishima handed his bro a bottle of water and started fiddling around behind the bar, trying to see if he could find what he needed to mix a drink for the owl captain.
Bokuto meanwhile laughed his head off, swaying a bit on his bar stool. "Oh man, Tsukki-dude! You've totally learned from Kuroo-bro so well! But seriously, I don't think I need the water 'cause I've been drinking water all day and I'm sure I'll be fiiiiinne!"
Tsukishima stopped fiddling around and stared at Bokuto. "Have you ever had a hangover, Bokuto?"
"Nope!" the ebullient captain said, spinning around on his barstool and almost falling off.
"And have you ever gotten drunk without Kuroo being around?"
"Errrr..." Bokuto appeared to be considering that idea.
Tsukki clicked his tongue, opening the bottle of water in front of his bro and pushing it at him. "I rest my case, Boku-bro. You're already kinda drunk, and another drink is gonna make you really drunk, and if you don't drink the water you'll be very unhappy tomorrow. So drink the water or I won't make you another drink." Tsukki folded his arms across his chest and tried to look stern but ended up giggling at the pouting owl in front of him.
"Okay, I guess you're right, Tsukki-bro," Bokuto whined, immediately drinking down about a third of the bottle of water. "You're a good bro, making sure I don't get a hangover and making me a drink so I can get drunk without one."
Tsukishima tried to parse that sentence, stopped, tried again, and took another sip of his drink. I'm too drunk for drunk Bokuto, he thought to himself, even though Bokuto is more drunk than I am. He chuckled aloud at his own thoughts, locating the rum bottle and wandering over to the fridge to find the soda.
"You are so not too drunk for me and I am so not drunk enough yet!" Bokuto enthused, making Tsukki realize he'd vocalized his thoughts again. He laughed at himself, putting two shots of rum into Bokuto's glass and filling it the rest of the way with Coke. He placed the drink in front of his bro, making Bokuto cheer. Grabbing a bottle of water and his own half-empty drink, Tsukki made his way over to one of the big recliner chairs and settled himself down, Bokuto doing the same.
"So Boku-bro, any particular reason why you want to get drunk?"
"Well, it's been a long day, and Kuroo got extra drunk, so I had to be the responsible one all through the party and make sure it went well, ya know. I had to do that for my bro, 'cause he needed to be drunk tonight, and now that it's all over, it's my turn to be drunk tonight," Bokuto rambled, then sipped his drink. "Hey hey hey, nice job, Tsukki my man! This is really good!"
Tsukki raised his own glass to his bro, who responded in kind. "What happened to Kuroo, do you think? Does he always lose it like this when he breaks up with someone? Because he was really shitfaced tonight and that just seems weird for Kuroo, you know?"
Bokuto suddenly looked serious. "It must have been really rough, Tsukki-bro, for Kuroo-bro to get drunk like that. With Yua gone, he was kinda messed up. If you and Naka-chan hadn't been on your way, I dunno what he woulda done, ya know? Maybe got so jacked up he passed out. 'Cause when he breaks up with someone, he hurts really bad. He needs to cry that out, but he does that with Yua, not with me, so her being gone was rough. I'm glad Naka-chan was here to help him through tonight. You're a good bro, Tsukki, for letting Naka-chan take care of him tonight."
Tsukishima laughed. "Do you think I could have stopped her? She's the best at taking care of people, and if tried to stop her from doing that, well, I wouldn't be her boyfriend for very long. Even though sometimes it makes me jealous as hell." Dammit, I shouldn't have said that, Tsukki thought, or least hoped he only thought.
"It's okay that you said it, Tsukki, I'd feel like that too, if Naka-chan was my girl. I'd probably go nuts every time somebody like me picked her up or hugged her or twirled her around or kissed her cheek or..." Bokuto suddenly stopped short, eyes going wide and staring at Tsukki. Suddenly, great fat tears were falling from the captain's eyes, making Tsukki wonder how he'd produced them so fast. "Tsukki! Bro! I'm sorry! I'd never ever take your Naka-chan from you and if I made you jealous I'm sorry and I..."
"BRO!" Tsukki yelled, immediately wondering exactly what had happened to him to have gotten to the point in life where he was drunkenly yelling 'bro' at Bokuto. "It's okay, Bokuto-san. I know you're not trying to take Nakano from me. And she cares about you guys too, and if I tried to stop her from showing that, she'd be sad and angry and she wouldn't be my Nakano anymore. So it's okay. So please don't worry about it, okay?"
Bokuto suddenly smiled radiantly, demonstrating once again his uncanny ability to flip through emotions at lightning speed. "Dude, I am so glad we're bros."
Tsukishima chuckled, finishing his drink. "Me too, Boku-bro, me too."
"We all set for tomorrow, bro? You got the tickets? Kuroo-bro is gonna need some fun for his birthday after everything that went down today, and I want him to have the most fun of any of us tomorrow."
"Six tickets, Bokuto. Hey..." Tsukki suddenly realized something. "What are we gonna do about that? Invite Kenma? I got six tickets since I thought we would each have a date, but now Kuroo..."
"Nah, Kenma won't go, he hates this kinda thing. Don't worry, bro, I got this all taken care of, because I am just that much of an awesome bro. Kuroo's gonna have a date, if that's what he wants, or we're all just gonna be friends hanging out together if that's what he wants instead, because we are all friends anyway. And we'll be hanging out, so it'll be true no matter which way Kuroo wants it."
Tsukishima tried once again to figure out that patch of Boku-ramble, and soon gave up. He was starting to feel both a little tired and a little drunk, and right now, he didn't really care much about tomorrow. It would all work out. He opened up the bottle of water, downing a little of it. He considered the idea of making another rum and Coke for himself, and maybe for Nakano too. She hadn't yet had one, just that one sip of his earlier, and they were really good. It was at that moment that he realized he was indeed mumbling his thoughts aloud, and that Bokuto was still rambling. No more booze for me tonight, he thought (said?), I think I'm drunk enough.
"...gonna be so much fun. I've got a plan, Tsukki-bro, and that's not usually something I do, but you kinda inspired me when you told me about your plan and then asked me to plan something to go with your plan and now I've got plans that I didn't even plan with you so you're gonna be surprised too just like Kuroo-bro and Naka-chan, 'cause that's who the surprises are for! Did I tell you about that, Tsukki?"
"No, I don't think so," the blonde replied, not really having any idea what his senpai was talking about. I wonder how Kuroo is doing, Tsukki thought. I wonder if he and Naka-chan are done talking yet. I miss her.
"Awww, Tsukki, that's so sweet! You really love Naka-chan a lot, don't you?"
"Yeah, I do. Way more than I ever thought I could ever love anybody, you know?"
"That's what Kuroo-bro wants, man. He wants to love somebody more than he ever thought he could. He feels it worse than me, the loneliness. I mean, I'm lonely sometimes too, but it's okay, I just get with my family or my team or my bros and do something awesome and I feel good, 'cause it's like that for me, you know? But Kuroo, he can't sometimes. I bet that's what really got him tonight. He feels lonely again, even if it turned out she was bad, at least for a little while, he wasn't lonely."
Tsukishima fixed his golden eyes on Bokuto. "You know you're not gonna always be lonely, right, Bokuto-san? I mean, if a salty jackass like me can get an awesome girl like Nakano, then you know you guys are gonna find the right ones someday too, you know?"
Bokuto stared at Tsukki for a moment, then exploded with laughter, making Tsukki laugh along with him. Both boys laughed so hard, tears were soon running down their cheeks, and they were gasping for breath. Tsukki tried hard to get his breathing under control, drinking his water and wondering exactly why they were laughing so hard. Bokuto downed the last of his third rum and Coke, and leaned over towards his blonde kohai. "Tsukki-bro, we're gonna make Kuroo forget that lonely is even a word tomorrow, yeah? 'Cause we're his bros, and that's what bros do for a bro who's gotten his heart broke."
Tsukishima smiled at his bro, and nodded. Absolutely he would do that for Kuroo. After all, Kuroo had done a lot for him, too. "But first, we should probably get some sleep."
Bokuto hummed in agreement, trying to stand up from his chair. He made it to his feet, tottered a bit, and promptly sat back down. "I think I'm drunk, Tsukki," the boy said gravely, "Maybe I should just sleep here."
Tsukishima stood, balance checking only slightly. "Nah," he said, offering Bokuto a hand, "Come on, bro, I'll help you get upstairs to bed. 'Cause that's what bros do, right?"