"after you disappeared from me.. I- I realized, it's painful without you. I-i've searched for you! I swear! I tried contacting anyone whom you might be in contact with, but they all said they don't know..." He confesses, tears brimming in his eyes and eventually falling.
"I- I even tried contacting your parents but they said you gone overseas. I tried asking where could you have been but they turned me down..." He continues.
'I know. I'm the one who told them to not tell you where am I,' he thought as he listens, fist gripping tight on his knees as his tears falls on the back of his hands.
"... I was ready to look for you, whatever length it is. Wherever country you may have been... I swear!" He bawled. "P-please believe m-me..." He pleaded.
"I tried looking for you for a year, but I gave up. No one wants to tell me where you are, your company, your friends, your family. They all kept their mouth shut. So I gave up... I tried forgetting you, but I can't. Until now..." He mumbles.
Zhan stood up, he feels like shit hearing what he all said. Can't forget? For fuck's sake! Did he even treat him like his lover years ago? For Zhan, Yibo treats him just like a toy. A toy to satisfy his needs, his pleasure, and his rut. He comes home from work to do 'it', the next morning he'll disappear again. It's a repetitive process. Zhan even tries reaching out to him, canceling his schedule just to have quality time as a lover with him, but he'd just reject and proceed to go to work.
"Please, kindly leave..." He mutters, head held down.
Yibo looked at him with tears in his eyes. "Z-zhan..." He mumbles pleadingly, trying to reach the omega's hand. But the omega was quick to avoid his hand.
"J-just... Please leave... Don't show yourself for a while... Just please..." He sobs, his fist trembling. Zhan doesn't want to hear his excuses, he doesn't want to be swayed. He still loves him and if he gets swayed, it'll be the death of him if the past may happen again, he doesn't want to experience again how miserable he is for the past years.
Yibo's head lowered, 'Is that the answer? That I have no chance no matter what I do?' he thought. Standing up, he sucked up all the pain and smiled painfully, "I understand..." He mumbles, then took a step, as his steps get farther his tears keep flowing. Pain and regret looming in him, he's trying to change for the omega, for their son, so they can rebuild the family they failed to make. But Yibo doesn't know where to start, he doesn't know how to express his sincerity to Zhan, he doesn't know how to show that he really regretted how he treated him. But what can he do now? he's been shut off already. Should he give up?
Even so, his heart is shouting at him, telling him to go on. Even if he goes through this pain of rejection every time, his resolve and the picture of his goal being fulfilled because of his perseverance are what make him strong. He wiped his tears and gritted his teeth, "Man-up, Yibo it's just the start," he reminded himself.
.
"Hon? your phone is ringing," Haikuan said from the living room.
Zhuocheng is busy in the kitchen, preparing what will he cook for tomorrow. "Hm? Who is it?" he answers.
"It's Zhan," Haikuan utters, grabbing the phone and bringing them to Zhuocheng.
"Hello?" the omega greeted when his husband answered the call for him and put it beside his ear.
Zhuocheng heard sniffles from the other line which made his hands stop from what he is doing, brows furrowing. "Zhan? You okay?" he asks. He immediately stops what he is doing and wipes his hands clean, grabbing the phone from Haikuan.
"Cheng..." he sobs, followed by a hiccup.
Zhuocheng's eyes were wide, he's certain that Zhan is crying right now. But why?
"Should I come over?" Zhuocheng asks, deeply worried for his friend. This is the first time he heard Zhan cry, they've been friends for less than five years, and yet he hasn't witnessed this part of him yet.
"P-please..." he sniffles, desperate for someone to open up. Cause if Zhan will bottle it up again, he'd actually burst. He doesn't know how to face his son in this kind of situation where he can't control his emotions anymore.
"Okay, I'll be right there. Wait for me, hm?" Zhuocheng coos. He received a trembling hum from the other omega before he cut the call.
"I'll go to Zhan for a while, can you continue this?" Zhuocheng frantically removes his apron then shoves them to Haikuan.
"What happened?" Haikuan asked, curious as to why his husband was in a hurry.
"Zhan is crying, I don't know why. So I need to check up on him. You know how me he doesn't want to let his son see him vulnerable," he answers.
Haikuan sighs and smiles fondly at his husband, 'Ah, I'm glad I married him,' he thought. "Okay, do call me when you're going home or not okay?" he reminded him.
"Yes!" he answers with a nod, already at the front door and ready to go out.
Haikuan just watches his husband leave the house.
.
When Zhuoceng arrived, he immediately spotted Zhan sitting on the front porch, face buried between her palms and sobbing.
Zhuocheng ran to him, embracing him into his arms upon making contact. "What happened?" he asked worriedly, rubbing his back gently.
"*hic* I don't know! It hurts..." he cried, dampening Zhuocheng's shoulders.
"I don't know what it is so you better tell me, for now, you need to calm, yeah?" he coos, voice soft as Zhan's sobs even more.
They stay in that position for half an hour, Zhuocheng rubbing his back to soothe him and slowly Zhan started calming down, his sobs stopped, only hiccups from crying too much.
"Feeling better? You think you can tell me now?" He asks, as he holds him by the shoulders and pushed him away to look at his face.
Zhan smiled bitterly, then nodded, "Yeah..." he mumbles, barely audible, if not for the silence of the neighborhood Zhuocheng would not hear them.
Zhuoheng then let go of him, sitting properly beside him, and gazed at the night sky. "So what happened?" he asked calmly, waiting for the other to speak.
Zhan swallowed the lump on his throat first before telling him everything.
.
"So that fucker is your ex?!" Zhuocheng exclaimed, blood boiling after hearing everything. He didn't expect the turn of events.
"...Shh.." Zhan stopped him from being hysterical all of a sudden.
"No, no, no. I won't shut up! Why didn't you tell me sooner? I've been being friendly with him, letting Sean hang out with a bastard like him and now you'll tell me he's the fucker who knocked you out with a kid and then neglect you both?! You think I'm going to calm down about it? No! I will say a word or two to that fucking bastard, I won't tolerate him to get near to you or to Sean anymore!!" Zhuocheng growled, his fist was clenched tight, itching to punch something.
"No, please calm down," Zhan pleaded softly, grabbing Zhuocheng on his arm to stop him from rampaging.
Zhuocheng turned his head at him, brows knitted in anger, "And you! Why the fuck do you let a bastard like him be around you?! You should cuss him out! he doesn't deserve to be around you and your son!"
Zhan looked down, "But Sean... I don't want the smile on my son to fade..." he mumbles.
Zhuocheng clicked his tongue, "Fuck, Zhan. Are you going to be selfless again? Think about yourself sometimes, hm?" he says as if asking Zhan a favor.
Zhan cannot respond to that. He can't be selfish, he wants his son to be smiling and not feel his burdens and just enjoy and be a kid.
Zhuocheng facepalmed, he knows the look Zhan is making. It screams 'no I can't!'. He sighs heavily, being done with his friend, "Well then, I am the one going to decide, and I say, I will talk to him get away from you two!" he declares.
Zhan immediately looks up at him, eyes wide, worriedness in his eyes. "No, please! Sean is smiling when he's with him. He's carefree and becomes a real kid when he's around him. Please..." he begged, pleading him to not do what he is planning to do.
Zhuocheng sighed frustratedly. Yeah, he's completely going insane with this friend of his. "alright. But if you cry again like this because of him? I will do what I said, remember that!" he threatens sternly.
Zhan lowered his head then nodded slowly. He can't say no to that, since Zhuocheng looks angry right now. "...thank you..." he mumbles.
The other omega raised an eyebrow at him, "for what?"
Zhan smiled faintly, "For getting angry for me..." he paused. "I was used to hiding my emotions, I was able to hide them for 5 years from you right?"
Zhuocheng listened carefully.
"I acted tough all the time with everyone, but lately, because I saw him again after how many years, I felt like I was too full that anytime It'll overflow. And here I am, unable to hide them anymore. I don't have someone to lean on, and if my son sees me this way, it'll break my heart more. I just want him to be happy, far from rejection and neglect, is that too much to ask?" he asks, pain between his words are obvious.
Zhuocheng looked at him, smiles sympathetically as he opens his arms to give his friend another hug, "You did well. Sometimes you also need to be selfish, also think of yourself, of what makes you feel better. If not, you'll break," he reminded him, patting his back.
"Hm, but I'm selfish. My selfish wish is to make my son happy all the time, to see him smile."
Zhuocheng chuckles, "I don't want to argue anymore, you won't even get it. But what I said earlier, I will do that if you cry like this again because of him, remember that!" he said sternly.
Zhan chuckles, "Okay, okay," he assures, hugging the omega back.
"By the way, you didn't tell me you're an actor?!" Zhuocheng suddenly rumbles, pushing Zhan away.
"I just did though?" Zhan tilted his head.
Zhuocheng clicked his tongue, "You JUST told me! I only knew now! After five years?!" he growls.
Zhan laughs, "Well, there's nothing amusing about that. I already left the industry, and I'm happy to have a new life here so I didn't bother to tell you about those little details," he shrugs.
Zhuocheng sighed frustratedly, "Ahhhh! I'm gonna look up to you on the internet, just you wait!" he snarled.
Zhan laughs once again at his friend's threat, "You don't need to do that though, I'm not planning to get back in the industry. Sharing my knowledge in that field is better anyways."
Zhuocheng pouted, "Just let me watch some of your works, don't be selfish," he whined.
"And you just told me a while ago to be selfish?" he raised an eyebrow.
Zhuocheng huffed, "Not that selfish kind stupid!" he fights back.
Zhan laughs, "Just kidding. I can lend you some of my movies tho, I have them hidden." he offers which made Zhuocheng's eyes sparkle.
"Yey!" he cheers like a child.
Zhan shook his head. Really, he's glad that Zhuocheng was there to make him feel better. He's glad he has a friend like him.
"Well then, you going to stay or go home?" he asks as he stood.
Zhuocheng followed suit, "I need to go home. You think you feel better now?"
Zhan nods, "I feel much better," he replies, "want to borrow now? I can lend you something I can pick somewhere in the house," he recommends.
Zhuocheng was immediate to nod, smiling wide as he waits.
.
A/N: Huhu, I'm so sorry for not updating for the past few days. I had deadlines to meet. But rest assured, I will be able to update from today onwards. Thank you for always waiting. Love lots!