Travis and I sat in the dark room watching the doctor intently watch the screen. I bit my lip anxiously waiting for him to say something. You see, I'm 9 months now and I've been having minor problems. Cramps, a little bleeding, stuff like that. Travis was more worried than I was so, we were back at the doctors office for the second time this week.
The doctor finished the ultrasound and wiped my stomach off. She sighed and turned her chair to face us.
"Well, this little lady is very stubborn." She lightly chuckled. "She's now breached but, I don't want you to stress. Your due date is in two weeks so, she has time to turn around. In a couple days, you need to come back so we can check. If she's still breached, we'll schedule a c-section."
"And what about the cramps and bleeding?" I asked.
"Just stress." She answered. "Try to avoid as much stress as you can. Relax, and don't get worked up over things."
"Understood." I nodded.
"Next time I see you two, hopefully we'll be welcoming the princess into the world." She smiled. "You all have a nice day, and remember; no stress."
"Yes ma'am." I smiled back.
She left the room and Travis helped me up. I pulled my sweater down and we walked out. We were both starving, so we decided on going to iHop. Thankfully, it was practically empty so there was no need to worry about paparazzi or fans. We sat down in a booth in the back and I looked through the menu.
I glanced up and saw Travis smiling at the ultrasound pictures.
"She's stubborn like her momma." He chuckled. "But she's going to be gorgeous like her momma too.."
"Thank you baby." I held his hand. "I'm so anxious for her to get here."
"Savannah, can we talk about something?" He scratched the back of his neck.
"Mhm. What is it?" I sipped my water.
"Ole dude.. the guy who's her biological father, does he know about her at all?" He asked quietly.
"No." I answered, looking down at my stomach.
"Why you ain't never tell him?" He sighed. "What if when he find out, he don't want me around her no more? I done spent all this time growing so attached to her and I.. I just don't want her ripped away from me.."
"Travis.. Zoey is the last person that would care about this baby. He's an immature piece of shit. If he knew, he wouldn't care. You're her father in my eyes. You've been here from the beginning of this pregnancy. You never left my side. I would never let him take her away from you." I said to him.
"I'm just worried man." He put his head in his hands. "He deserves to know either way Savannah. Even if he won't care, he'll carry the guilt of not being there for his child.."
"Travis you don't know him like I do." I rolled my eyes. "He doesn't have to know."
"Savannah yes he does." He said in frustration. "This is his kid. His blood is running through her, not mine."
I didn't bother responding to him because I just didn't want to talk about it anymore. This topic wasn't one I liked very much. In my opinion, Zoey wasn't ready for a child and probably never will be. He can't commit to anything. He didn't commit to me, so why would I put my daughter through the same pain. I don't want her knowing her dad doesn't want anything to do with her.
I know what that feels like and I will not allow the cycle of feeling unloved continue. This baby will know nothing but love. Travis and I love each other, and he'll love her just like he's her biological father. He'll be there for everything, just as he promised.
Our food came out a few minutes later and we ate in silence. I could tell this was really bothering Travis and I hated it. I hate that even though I have no contact with him, Zoey was still causing problems in my life. After the food was paid for, we went to the studio. I didn't want to be home by myself so, I tagged along with Travis.
While Travis and one of his artist talked and decided on beats, I laid stretched out on the leather sofa FaceTiming Bre. She showed me all the cute little outfits she had went out and bought.
"That's so adorable!" I squealed at the frilly pink dress. "Did you buy the whole store Bre?"
"Maybe." She giggled. "Ooo, you've got to see the cute little flower headband I bought her."
"You're the best auntie." I giggled. "Her closet is already full Bre, where am I gonna put all this stuff?"
"Make room." She shrugged. "But anyways, have we decided on a name for babygirl?"
"No not yet." I ran my fingers through my hair. "But, I have some ideas."
"Lay em on me." She said while folding the clothes back up.
"Harleigh Grace, Paige Elizabeth, Alayah Bree, Reese Annabelle, or McKenna Bailey." I listed out.
"Now you already know which one I like." She laughed.
"Come on now, really choose one Bre." I playfully rolled my eyes.
"Well, Harleigh Grace is super cute." She nodded. "Is she gonna have your last name or Zoey's?"
"Mine." I looked down at my nails. "He doesn't deserve for her to have his last name.."
"But Savannah, that's his kid." She raised an eyebrow.
I heard Travis clear his throat making me look up. He was already looking at me with a sarcastic look then went back to talking.
"Bre, that's a whole different conversation and I really don't feel like talking about it." I sighed.
"Understood." She held her hands up. "Well, I have to go clock in soon, I'll talk to you later girl."
"Okay."
She blew me a kiss before hanging up and I quietly giggled. I played different games and scrolled through my Instagram while Travis was working. My eyes grew heavy as the hours went by slowly. It was almost 3 in the morning before we got back home. I held my lower back as we walked in with my shoes in the other hand. Travis was kind of hesitant towards me and I could tell by his demeanor.
"You want me to run you a hot bath or something?" He mumbled. "You look uncomfortable and that might relax you.."
"Yeah.. thank you." I sat my shoes down and started up the stairs to the bedroom.
He nodded and went towards the bathroom. I was mentally and physically exhausted for the day. My back was killing me, and Harleigh was kicking up a storm. I pulled my shirt over my head and took a deep breath. The pain was almost unbearable now.
"Your bath is ready." Travis said, standing by the doorway.
I said okay, and went down to the bathroom. Travis helped me out of the rest of my clothing and then helped me into the bathtub. The water was so warm and felt absolutely lovely against my skin. I rested my head back and closed my eyes, fully relaxing.
I heard the TV in the living room cut on, meaning Travis was about to indulge in his late night gaming. He only even turns the damn thing on when he's stressed/worried.
I laid in the tub for several minutes, taking in the peace and & quiet in the bathroom.
Once I was ready to get out, I opened my eyes and sat up straight. When I looked down at the water my eyes nearly popped out of my head. The water was now a dark color and it had a light red tint as if blood was in it. I shrieked and within seconds Travis was there. He looked at the water and started panicking. He quickly helped me out of the tub and wrapped a towel around me.
I guess because of the shock of what was happening, I didn't really feel any pain at that moment. It all felt so surreal. My water had just broke, and because there was blood in it, I sensed something was wrong. Travis quickly helped me into a t-shirt and sweatpants while also putting a bag together for me and Harleigh. After a few minutes of sitting on the side of the bed, the pain finally hit me hard. I held my stomach and tried taking deep breaths.
"Baby I can't find any of her socks." He panicked. "She's gonna need socks!"
"T-Top drawer Travis." I stuttered. "And don't forget her little mittens and her hats and bows."
"I got all that." He tried catching his breath. "What outfits you want me to pack?"
"Dammit that don't matter." I snapped.
"Just throw something in the bag!"
He did what I said and slung the bags over his shoulder. He helped me off the bed and outside to his car. The pain had literally gone from 10, to 1,000. I could hardly catch my breath in between the contractions. By the time we got to the hospital, I had already called Regina and Bre. Besides Travis, I knew I wanted them there with me.
We sat in the small waiting area and filled out a few papers while waiting for a free room. I rubbed Travis' shoulder watching him fill out the papers. His hands trembled, making it hard for him to write neatly. He was more nervous than I was actually. He finished the papers right as the nurse took us back to a room. She helped me out of my clothes and then into a gown. Travis held my hand while they gave me my IV, turning his head when the needle went in.
"I see who we'll really have to watch tonight." The nurse on my right side joked.
"On a scale of 1-10, how much pain are you feeling right now honey?" The second nurse asked me.
"A strong 11." I forced a laugh.
"Well, the doctor will be in soon to see how far you're dilated so we can see if you're ready for your epidural." She said to me.
I nodded and they both left out. The pain was starting to make me really uncomfortable. Travis helped me lay on my side and fed me
cubes of ice. The doctor came in and checked me, making me even more uncomfortable.
"You're no where near 5 centimeters sweetie." He sighed. "I can't give you the epidural yet."
"Oh my gosh." I groaned.
He left out the room and I couldn't be more frustrated. I knew labor was painful, but never this painful. A nurse came in about an hour later and helped me up. She held my hand as we walked up and down the hallway. It supposedly helped to dilate more. The sun was up and bright by the time I reached 5 centimeters. I didn't feel a damn thing anymore after the epidural and I was too excited.
Travis and I were sharing a purple Popsicle and watching a movie on the TV when my mom, Regina, and Bre walked in. I was shocked to see my mother, and even more shocked that she looked sober. They all came in bearing gifts and big pink balloons.
"Babes!" Bre squealed. "You look dog tired."
"Oh shut up." I rolled my eyes and laughed.
"My sweet babygirl." My moms face lit up. "I can't believe you're having a child of your own. I know I haven't been much of a mother to you this past year but, I'm clean now and I hope you'll allow me to be in my granddaughters life."
"Of course momma." I opened my arms for a hug.
She came over and we hugged each other tightly. I missed her so much honestly. I couldn't ask for a better moment for her to be here. I was bringing my daughter into the world with the people I loved the most.
Another couple of hours went by and I was finally able to start pushing. Thankfully, Harleigh had turned around wasn't breached anymore. Travis held one of my legs and my mom held the other. Bre and Regina stood off to the side ready to take pictures.
The doctor counted to three and I started pushing. It literally felt like something was ripping me apart. A few more minutes of pushing went by before I heard the loud cries of my daughter. Tears rushed down my face as the doctor held her up. Travis eagerly cut the umbilical chord and walked over to where they were cleaning her off.
"Oh she's beautiful baby." He said in awe. "Just gorgeous."
"I wanna hold her.." I said, attempting to catch my breath.
They wrapped her in a pink blanket and put a pink cap on her head. They laid her in my arms right as she was opening her eyes. We locked in eyes and in that moment, I fell in love even more. She was gorgeous, my small delicate angel. I softly kissed her head and played with her little toes.
"Harleigh Grace Pullins." I cooed. "Mommy's sweet princess.."
She made quiet cooing sounds and kept staring back at me. No one could take this moment away from me..
~
what Harliegh looks like is in the mm,
and her birthday is March 10th.😊