" pushed away "

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Bre and I sat Indian style on her bed. The sun was coming up and neither of us had been to sleep. My hands trembled as they traced over the yellow flowers on her bed spread. Almost 15 positive pregnancy test laid on the bed between us, 5 more on the counter in the bathroom. I didn't want to believe it, I was undeniably scared out of my mind. What would Zoey say? What about my parents? How would I finish school? So many questions ran through my mind that it made my head throb. Bre reached over and grabbed my hand, shooting me a reassuring smile. My face was wet from tears, I had been crying since we returned from the hospital. This all just felt so unreal.

"And 20 pregnancy test down and you're still pregnant." Bre awkwardly joked, rubbing the back of her neck.

"What am I gonna do?" I groaned in frustration, running my fingers through my hair. "Zoey's gonna be pissed because I promised him birth control always worked, and that I wouldn't get pregnant until we were stable and had successful lives. Now look."

"How do you think your parents are gonna react to this?" She asked. "Do you think they'll be supportive?"

"I honestly don't know." I ran my fingers through my hair. "My mom is too drunk to even fathom what I'm going through. My dad might just kill me. The only person who might think rationally is Regina."

"Savannah, you're a good girl and your parents know that. They might be super supportive, so I don't think you should you should hide this from them." Bre suggested.

"I'm not ready to just spill about it yet Bre." I rubbed my temples to ease the headache. "I'm not ready to. Honestly, they might not have to even know at all.."

"What the hell are you getting at Savannah?" She raised an eyebrow. "Because if you're suggesting getting an abortion, I will chain your ass to this bed because that is not an option."

"Bre I'm still in high school!" I shouted. "What could I possibly do with a child? I don't even work! I can't support a child, especially on my own."

"You won't be alone. You have Zoey don't you? Your family too." She cocked her head to the side.

"Zoey broke up with me last night." My eyes welled with tears again. "He said he would still be here for me when I needed him but, if I tell him I'm pregnant, that'll just run him away. It's a waste of time."

"Oh.. I'm sorry hun." She rubbed my arm. "Well just know, if no one is there for you, I definitely am."

"Thank you so much Breaunna." I smiled at her. "I appreciate you being here for me.."

"You're welcome girl, you know I'm always gonna have your back." She nodded. "But promise me Vannah, you won't get that abortion. Please."

"Okay, okay." I held my hands up. "I won't get one.."

"Great." Her face beamed with excitement. "Ooo, I can't wait for the little cutie to get here."

"Bre it's not just gonna be some cute babydoll you can dress up and play with." I faintly laughed. "Its super hard work.."

"Girl you're going to be a great mother." She beamed. "And I'm gonna win the award for best auntie."

I couldn't help but laugh at how cute she was, rambling on and on about all the cute stuff she was gonna buy. At least I knew I had one person I could trust and depend on throughout this pregnancy,

Later in the day, I showered and such and borrowed a sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants from Bre. She had dropped me off over Zoey's house because she had to get to work. I paced back and forth in his driveway, glancing down at the pregnancy test in my purse. I was a nervous wreck. We were already not together anymore, telling him I'm pregnant could possibly push him away even more. And I definitely didn't want that.

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