Fading Away ✅

By kia_spens18

5.2K 770 361

Overthinking makes the voices in your head imminent and you begin to listen to them. You listen to them becau... More

Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-two
Chapter Twenty-three
Chapter Twenty-four
Chapter Twenty-five
Chapter Twenty-six
Chapter Twenty-seven
Chapter Twenty-eight
Chapter Twenty-nine
Chapter Thirty (Part one)
Chapter Thirty (Part two)
Blaze's POV
Chapter Thirty-one
Chapter Thirty-two
Chapter Thirty-three
Chapter Thirty-four
Chapter Thirty-five
Chapter Thirty-six
Chapter Thirty-seven
Chapter Thirty-eight
Chapter Thirty-nine
Chapter Forty
Chapter Forty-one
Chapter Forty-two
Chapter Forty-three
Chapter Forty-four
Chapter Forty-five
Chapter Forty-six
Chapter Forty-seven
Chapter Forty-eight
Chapter Forty-nine (Part one)
Chapter Fifty (Part two)
Chapter Fifty-one (Part three)
Chapter Fifty-two
Epilogue
Covers!! (Completed)

Chapter Fifteen

100 17 2
By kia_spens18

My heart rate slows down and I feel a stinging pain in my wrist
I place my hand under the flowing tap and hold back a yelp

The physical and emotional pain is present but the emotional pain overlaps the physical pain
I take the first aid kit, dab the cotton in the antiseptic and wipe it over my wrist. I whimper out loud, it hurt like hell but funny enough, it felt right; in a masochistic way

I have learned to cut without making it deep. I don't need mom knowing I self-harm
I don't want her to get worried
To her, I am quiet, sane Alexa and it is better that way
I rub antibiotic ointment on both of the cuts and bandage it and also take in aspirin.

Today is going to be hell and it is still morning. I think of ditching school but remember I have an AP Calculus test to take
Mr. Holland stated that it would account for forty percent of the term's work

I walk back to my room and search for her favorite hoodie which had been stashed far back into my closet. The black hoodie has a motif of a rose on the back of the hoodie with sweet and dangerous written below it
You could say her signature image was a rose
Tracing the rose, I sigh and pick up leggings to wear with it

After dressing up, I take the charm bracelet and put it on. It feels strange wearing it and I am close to placing it down but decide against it
I am wearing her hoodie, I might as well be more selfish and take something I don't deserve to have.  Selfish bitch

∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆•∆

Take your seats and get ready for the test, Mr. Holland yells
You have a test to take and instead of you preparing for it, you make a noise like there's no tomorrow. In those days, he begins, everyone groans and the noise begins again

Finally, after a long ten-minute lecture about how the youth of today disappoints him, he shares the tests. Halfway into taking the test, the door opens to reveal Blaze.  I already knew how the conversation between him and Mr. Holland will go like

Mr. Grumps is going to ask why he's late and he will give a sassy or stupid comment. The wonders of  reading  too many cliché books

He only rolls his eyes and gives the test to Blaze telling him to sit down

I look back at my test paper and there are a lot of questions I do not know the answers to and I just want to close my eyes and sleep
I hear the sound of the chair scraping and I lift my head quickly to see Blaze sitting beside me. No one sits by me and I like it that way, Blaze just has to make my cliché books precise
There are empty seats around the class and we aren't friends

Ten minutes later, Blaze pats me and I  and turn towards him
"What do you want?"

"You didn't do number ten, the answer is thirteen", he whispers

"And how do I know you are right", I whisper back

"Because I know the answer and you don't"

"Mind your business", I snap at him

"That's usually what I say but it seems like the table's turned today, what crawled up your ass"

I ignore him and decide to take the answer; it's not like I have any other choice

After Mr. Holland collects our test papers, I decide to apologize to Blaze for snapping at him. Life is too short to hold grudges; I had learned that the hard way and I was suffering from it
Blaze walked out of the door and I ran to catch up with him

Falling in step with him, he smirks.
"You can't get enough of me; can you?"

"Your ego's showing", I reply.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you back in the class"

"No hard feelings, he says with a shrug. I am right and that's all that matters"

"So obnoxious", I mutter under my breath

Lucas and Addison walk up to us arguing.
"Stop being paranoid, she is not a banshee", Addison says

"She was wailing like one when I told her it was over between us", Lucas replies

"I give up", she groans and thumps his head

"Not again", Blaze says with a sigh

"Ouch, Addison. What was that for?"

"Talking with you is like having an old television, you have to slap it a few times to get the picture"

"I still say she's a banshee and I'm pretty sure the warning is for the spawn devil I call brother"

"Oh please, Zach is an angel"

"He kicked me in the crotch, how is that angelic"

"You probably deserved it"

"Should I ask what this is about?", Blaze asks

"Just know, Lucas broke up with Emma"

"About time, I never liked her anyways"

"Me neither", Addison states

"She is hot and all but it started getting weird when I caught her sniffing my boxer briefs twice", Lucas says shuddering

Okay, that is gross

"Anyways Alexa, Addison begins wrapping an arm around me. My heart pounds and I want her hand off
I'm sure Blaze didn't tell you this but Ellie is having a birthday party and she wants you to be there."
Blaze spaces out at the mention of Ellie's name and there is a pained expression on his face.

"Seth wanted me to relay the message, last times event didn't make that possible"

"Sorry, but I don't think I can make it", I say trying to come up an excuse.

Yes, because you'll be moping around all day. Fun, my conscience states

This is one of the few times I wish lying came to me easily
I love Ellie and I want to go but today isn't a good day for me

"Sorry, Addison but I just can't"

"Can I have a word with you?, Addison looks at Blaze and Lucas
Privately", she adds

"No way, I want to know", Lucas says with a pout

"Lucas, do you want me to tell Blaze what I saw you doing last week"

"On second thought, the bell just rang and I have a history test to take,  he says running down the hallway"

"What happened last week, Addison?"

"I am not telling you anything, my lips are sealed"

"Lucas, come back here. When have you ever willingly gone to History class", Blaze yells running after Lucas

"Lex, Addison turns to me
Remember when I told you about  Blaze's mom"

"Yes, I do"

"So, technically I didn't mention one thing. Miss Amy died giving birth to Ellie so Miss Amy's anniversary is

" Ellie's birthday", I finish

"Right but Seth and Blaze can't handle death and birth at the same time so  Ellie's birthday was switched to another date that is today"

"Also, the party was a last-minute decision. We were just going to have dinner and eat cake but Seth got a birthday planner at the last minute. It would mean a lot to Ellie if you; the best babysitter ever according to Ellie comes to the party"

I don't deserve to go to the party; I know that. I had already ruined her chance of ever having a party.

On the second hand, the least I can do is be there for Ellie when she needs me; I had not learned that

"All right, I say
Expect me there"

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

A/N: See you in the next chapter❤

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