Hellooo!!
First and foremost, thankyou to all of you for your wishes!❤️
Also today is another one of us, TanishkaVerma7 it's her birthday!
Happy birthday to you darling, have a great day and a even better year!
I have never put this forward but this update was the most, literally the most difficult one to write and curate! I have put a lot into this update.
If thia update does not go well I literally would have no hope left, seriously.
I don't ask for much, just for you'll to tell me about the update, that is all.
I hope this update doesn't fail.
***
Sid- Kya sunna chahti hai? Why did I not give him my blood?
Because I know mera blood group usse match nahi karta. Mai O+ hu aur woh A+, aur kuch?
She hit his hand on the wall in frustration.
Sana- How?
She whispered shocked.
Agar Shreya died with rh incompatibility then yours should match and other wise bhi... How is this possible?
She did the math, she was a doctor too, she knew it.
Sid- BECAUSE I AM NOT HIS FATHER! HE IS NOT MY BIOLOGICAL SON JUST LIKE HE IS NOT YOURS!
He screamed in her face letting out all the frustration that he had filled up in himself for the last 5 years.
Sana's eyes widened in fear. She was far beyond comprehending anything.
Sana- What? Kya... Bol raha hai tu? How can he not be your son? Sidharth mazak mat kar... Is he really not your...
She couldn't even complete.
Sid- No he is not! Ek mutthi bhar bhi trust hai tujhe mujhpe?
How can you think I could go fuck someone? How cheap do you think I am? Meri ek beautiful family thi, tu, meri wife, meri jaan aur humare bacche! That was all my life was about!
Tune kuch dekha, tune kuch suna, tune kuch samjha aur isme mai kaha tha? Kaha tha mai? Itne saal hum saath the! Humare teen bacche the aur tune mujhe ek benefit of doubt dene ka bhi nahi socha? Itna bhi nahi socha ki mera pati aisa nahi kar sakta! Bass joh bhi trust tha sab khatam?
Toh sunn le, one last time, loud and clear. Shreya aur mera koi affair nahi tha, woh sirf ek dost thi, sirf ek dost jisse mai itne saal mila bhi nahi tha. And ye mai mere satisfaction ke liye bol raha hu, tujhe kuch prove karne nahi... I have never touched any girl that wasn't you, not a single person! I have never cheated on you neither physically nor emotionally. You've been the only one jisse mai dil se pyaar kiya hai divorce se pehle bhi aur baad bhi. Ab tujhe mujhpe bharosa karna hai ya nahi ye teri marzi hai.
He said all that was in his mind, all that had taken a spot in his mind for the last 5 years.
He was shivering with the outburst he had while Shehnaaz was shivering with what she just encountered. If not for the 5 years of practice of handling the worst of situations, her body would've given up on her.
She sat there for the next 2 minutes trying to find words, to form words and sentences. How was she going to face him?
Sana- Toh... Kon hai woh? Who is Yug's father?
he looked back at her with the question. She moved ahead towards him immediately holding his hands to clarify.
I... I am not asking this because I am doubting what you said but just I want to know.
She said with the most truthful and honest tone that she had.
Sid just sighed as he knew she wasn't wrong, it will take time to debunk what she believed for 5 years.
Sid- Baith yaha.
He gestured her to take a seat beside her.
He pressed on his forehead with his hand to start speaking.
Mera ek bohot purana dost tha jab dad ke saath rehte the tab ka. He suddenly came out of no where, ussi ke through mai vapis Shreya ko mila, they were colleagues. He said that he liked Shreya aur mai chahta tha mai Shreya ke liye kuch karu after whatever happened in college since I ignored her and all.
I gave it my all, maine aise conditions create kiye, maine aise situations banaye ki woh uske pyar mai pad jaye aur woh hi kyu, koi bhi agar unn situations mai hota toh woh bhi pyaar kar baithta. Her parents were against this marriage but she still got married.
I know while all this was happening mujhe tujhe batana chahiye tha, meri galti hai. Tujhse gussa tha, tujhse share nahi kar paya.
But that man was a bastard, he impregnated Shreya. It was a marital rape, a dire crime jisse log crime toh kya offense bhi nahi samajhte.
Uske parents vaise bhi iss shadi se raazi nahi the aur jab woh unko ye batane gayi toh unhone usse disown kar diya for asking for a divorce. Unke liye toh ye bhi pati patni ke beech ki choti moti nok jhok thi.
As he said this she could see his hands ball in anger, his unadulterated anger for the society.
Shreya toot gayi thi jab woh mere paas aayi. Kahi na kahi isme mera bohot bada haath tha, I got that bastard arrested. Shreya ke paas sirf mai hi tha.
Joh mai raat raat ko uthke jaata tha woh asal mai emergency hi hoti thi, Shreya ko panic attacks aate the, usse lagta tha ki uska woh ex husband aake usse aur uske bacche ko maar dega.
Mai usse vaha sambhalne jaata tha, like a friend, sister, well wisher, whatever suits you.
Mera intention kabhi tujhe kisi bhi halat mai chodke jaana nahi tha, mera intention Shreya ko sambhalna hota tha.
Sana was in her own world, Shreya was her friend! Her friend went through all that and she took that persons name with disgust all these years!
Sana- Mera Yug... Is born from this trauma? My Yug is... Oh my god!
She was almost on brink of pulling her hair out with just the thought of the scenario.
She couldn't believe it, Sid could see her almost spiralling down so he told her to breath and rubbed her hand.
Sana- Sid... Ye mujhe tune kabhi bataya kyu nahi?
Was all she could ask, what could she say?
Sid- Kab batata tu khud pregnant thi tab ya jab humne humara baccha khoya tab? Jab tune ye decide kiya ki tu ye pregnancy continue karegi humare beech kaha kuch sahi tha? Aur jab kuch theek horaha tha toh sab bikhar gaya.
I know ye meri galti hai ke maine khud hi decide kar liya ke mai tujhe nahi bataunga, maine uss stage mai tujhse baat nahi ki, bohot badi galti hai parr itni badi bhi nahi hai jitni badi saza mili hai mujhe. It costed me the most precious thing in my life.
One small mistake costed me my wife, my happiness, my family, my entirety and the reason for my existence.
He left her hand with that, he loved her but he was selfish, he couldn't bare the sight of them breaking.
They were soulmates, what happened to them? Look at them!
Sana- Maine khudki life ko risk kiya, I know galat kiya parr uski saza tu mujhe naa baat karke de chuka tha, ye baat bata deta... Ek baar batake dekhta, mai bhi madat karti, I am also a mother, maine bhi khayal rakha hota Shreya ka! Usko humare ghar laate!
His eyes shot up at that mention,
Sid- Really? It's easier said than done Shehnaaz. Mai tujhe bata deta toh bhi tu kya hi karti?
Jab tujhe pata chala Shreya ke baare mai tune usse kya kaha, usse hi nahi uske bacche tak ko kaha... Mind you! Vahi baccha joh abhi andar behoshi mai bhi tujhe pukaar raha tha! Tera Yug!
Tune Shreya ko kaha ki uske bacche ka father usse pyaar nahi karega and she couldn't be a good mother? You said that to a lady whose husband was a rapist!
Sana's heart almost jumped out with those accusations.
Sana- Wh..what!? Maine usse aisa kuch nahi kaha hai! Mujhe Shreya aur tere baare mai hospital aake pata chala.
Sid- Tu hospital aayi thi?
He asked shocked.
Sana- Haa! Vahi toh maine ye sab dekha, that is where I heard her say that Yug is your child and you have to take care of him!
I saw you sign his birth certificate as Yug Sidharth Shukla!
Sid- And you didn't see who his mother was?
He asked desperately.
Sana- Shreya...?
Sid- Biologically, yes. On his birth certificate and technically, you're his mother.
Sana- What? Tune hi toh gharpe mujhe bola ki Anushka ke paas second custody hai.
Sid- I made that certificate before our divorce and that certificate is kind of muddled, Shreya ka naam hataya gaya hai vaha se. Parr legally Shreya exists,
Shreya ke will ke hisaab se her child is my responsibility but as a blood relative, anushka is the second in line.
She didn't know she had to say and what not.
Sana- Maine vaha ye sab dekha tab hi mujhe...
Sid- Ek... ek minute, tu usse hospital aane se pehle nahi mili thi?
Sana- Usse... Haa! Mili thi. I met her in sabzi mandi.
She said trying to recollect tu he instances and it's order.
She was pregnant and she told me that you knew about it. Parr maine usse aisa kuch nahi kaha.
Sid- Tune usse kuch nahi kaha? How did illegitimate child aur father not loving the child get into her head? What about her not being a good mother?
Sana- I... Dont know.
She scratched her head to find its answers.
I... No! I remember! Usne vihan ko dekha aur uske father ka naam pucha... Maine tera naam liya obviously aur she asked if you loved him or not.
She said all that she remembered as a blur memory.
Sid- Tune kya kaha?
He asked with a bated breath.
Sana- Maine haa kaha aur kaha ki ofcourse tu usse pyar karta hai, that his parents are unlucky to lose him, we're lucky to have him. I told her that Vihan shayad biologically mera naa ho parr he is my child, I will love him to death.
Sid got up like a Eureka moment,
Sid- Oh my god... I get it! Usse laga ki uska baccha bhi adoption mai chala jayega aur shayad uske adoptive parents usse pyaar na kare!
Isiliye woh mujhe keh rahi thi Yug ko sambhalne ke liye, usko orphan na hone du!
She was trying to tell me that Shehnaaz said that you'll love him! Oh god! No one nahi woh you will tha! And woh yeh keh rahi thi ki Yug deserves you! Yug deserves a mother like you who will love him... Woh ye batana chahti thi mujhe!
How cruel was fate?
Sana- Sidharth?
She asked confused because she absolutely had no idea.
Sid- Tune... Tune mujhe bataya kyu nahi?
Sana- Shreya ran away from there! Mujhe pata nahi tha, mai vaise bhi hospital aane wali thi toh socha tab bata deti.
Sid- Toh tune usko phone pe koi javab nahi diya?
Sana- Phone? What phone?
Sid- Jab usne gharpe call kiya tha to tell you about her going in labour. She called you... Maybe just before you left!
Sana- I... Have no idea or recollection to any such call! Agar mujhe uska call aaya hota toh mai ussi vakt tujhe bata deti ya hospital mai bata deti.
Sid- Toh kyu nahi bataya?
Sana- Kyuki I got no call!
She pressed her point.
Sid- Yaad kar Shehnaaz, I saw her call logs, she talked to you for 4 minutes!
He said desperate and helpless.
Sana- I swear maine usse baat nahi ki thi, I had no idea.
Sid- How could you not get any call, maine toh...
Sana- Ek minute! I got a call.
Sid- What?
He reacted at her urgency.
Sana- Mujhe phone aaya tha... Woh Shreya thi!? Oh my god! I got a blank call Sidharth or so I thought!
I was in the kitchen and Vihan was crying. Maine phone uthaya parr mujhe kuch sunayi nahi diya, vihan was crying badly so maine phone cut kiya aur Vihan ke paas chali gayi!
Shayad woh phone cut hi nahi hua... Shayad Shreya kuch boli ho but I... You have to trust me Sidharth... Mai apne baccho ki kasam khake keh rahi hu agar mujhe zara sa bhi idea hota ki woh Shreya hai mai tujhe bata deti!
And think of it like that... Mujhe tab tak koi idea nahi tha about you and Shreya toh mai aisa kuch kyu karti? Mujhe toh ye saara idea hospital aane ke baad aaya.
She was offered with silence in return of her monologue. Sid was standing there like a statue, he was in daze.
He looked like he would crumble any time.
Sana- Did you really believe I can do such a heinous act?
She asked in her lowest voice. If he said yes she would die, she knew she accused him of worse but she just want able to believe it.
Sid- We lost Shehnaaz.he said just above a whisper.
Sana- What?
Sid- We lost.
He said a little louder this time.
Haar gaye hai hum. We lost our love, our family, 5 fucking years of living in angst for this! FOR A FUCKING MISUNDERSTANDING! Teri taraf se, meri taraf se...
We couldn't believe that the other person could do something like that but yet we did! Yet we believed what the eyes saw not what our hearts said.
Sana- Sidharth... I am sorry.
That was all she could say? What else could she say? What was left to be said? She wanted to just fall down into a pit deep deep down.
But all she could do was stumble down on the chair for its support.
He stood looking out of the large glass outside. He could see a couple with a set of twins in their hand, probably taking their kids home for the first time. They were at that place sometime, it was a beautiful place. They destroyed it.
Trust, the main ingredient of love, only trust possesses the power to either make or break it. Why couldn't they just trust each other?
Sana- Sidharth?
She caed again in between her wails.
She felt like she was begging for him to look at her and he didn't. She felt like she was begging for love.
He turned deaf towards her several calls, not because he didn't wanna answer her, but because he did not have it in him to face her now.
He would spiral down badly if he even looks at her, she was his lost moon after all.
Sana- Sid are you ignoring me?
She asked once again after several of her calls went unanswered.
This time finally she heard a answer.
Sid- Sana I am... I can't!
He just walked out of the hospital leaving a sobbing Shehnaaz behind.
The last two days changed everything for her!
She consummated with her ex husband, she ran from the house, he caught her lie and her fake marriage, Yug had an accident, the revelation that shook her about a misunderstanding that she had been living in.
How much can a person really take? What is the point where all the pain becomes numb? If at all that point exists, she wasn't much far away from it. Isn't god done testing them enough?
She wiped her tears immediately as she walked back in to check on Yug. Because her heart might be bleeding but the mother in her won't stop living.
Ayaan was on the sofa beside Yug, already asleep. The sofa was small but he had somehow managed to fold his legs up and put his head on the armrest. He didn't look uncomfortable so Sana just let him be.
She walked in the waiting room and found no one, she decided to sit there for a while, she had her head in her hands, it was throbbing in pain. She was almost about to cry again when she heard Ayaan call her.
Ayaan- Sana?
She wiped her face if at all any tears were to be seen and looked around.
Sana- Uth gaya?
Ayaan- Haa. Kya hua?
He asked stretching his body.
Sana- Nahi kuch bass check karne aayi thi.
Ayaan- Haa woh toh mujhe pata chal gaya parr tujhe kya hua? Tera muh kyu itna utra hua hai.
He said sitting beside her.
Sana- Aise hi, thakavat thodi si.
Ayaan- Rehne de Shehnaaz mujhse jhoot bolne ka fayda nahi hai.
He sat closer beside her and placed a hand on her head.
Feeling his brotherly touch she couldn't hold it in.
Sana- Ayaan...
She broke down almost as immediately as she wiped her tears.
Sometimes holding on to emotions in your heart is the most harmful thing to do to yourself.
He just hugged her sideways and let her cry.
She cried straight for next 5 minutes, she took another 3 minutes to come back to a position where she could speak without hiccuping.
Sana- I am sorry woh thoda...
She said slightly embarrassed.
Ayaan- It's okay Shehnaaz, share kar mujhse.
Sana- Ayaan... agar ek din teri life mai joh bhi tune socha tha woh sab Achanak galat hojaye toh? Agar ek din pata chale ki you are living in a lie, toh?
She asked him a tricky question.
He wanted to be very safe, he didn't know what had happened,
Ayaan- Toh... I'd be devastated for sure but, I'd try to start over. Apni sacchai ko accept karunga aur aage badhunga.
Sana- Really?
She asked blankly.
Ayaan- Haa, ab detail mai bata.
Sana- Maine pure 5 saal khudko ye samjhate hue nikale hai ki he is a cheat, he didn't deserve my love, that he was a bad person and what happened was for good aur aaj sab kuch galat prove hogaya hai. Sab kuch!
She said her throat slightly constricted.
There were sudden burst of excitement in Ayaan, he knew she was sad and all but did that mean all the misconceptions were cleared?
Ayaan- Kya... Kya bol rahi hai?
Sana- Sidharth ne mujhpe cheat nahi kiya tha Ayaan... Maine uspe doubt kiya tha! Mai galat thi, mai uspe trust nahi kar payi.
Maine itne saal sirf khudko hi nahi usko aur humare baccho ko bhi saza di hai of something I am responsible of!
Maine humari zindagi ke paach saal nafrat mai nikal diye jab ki that man deserves nothing but love!
She said shivering with the intensity of emotions shs was facing.
Ayaan- Sana... Shant hoja.
He rubbed her back and she relaxed a little.
Sana then narrated the entire story in one bit to Ayaan.
He already knew Sidharth's part and now Shehnaaz's part was the last piece he needed to complete the puzzle.
He couldn't believe it, was it always that simple? Was it just one misunderstanding to clear? And that took them 5 years.
Ayaan- So?
Ayaan asked if she had any more emotions eating up from inside.
Sana- So... I don't know. I actually feel nil after the confrontation. Itne saal se joh sach tha woh aaj jhoot hai, joh galat tha aaj sahi hai.
Meri galti hai Ayaan, I am not sure how I am going to apologise!
Ayaan- Apologise? Sana listen, Kay ne mujhe bataya hai you are not married, right?
Sana- Yes.
She said meekly.
Ayaan- So apologize? Go and fucking hug him! Gale lag ja uske, just start over.
She almost cracked a smile at that thought,
Sana- It's not that easy Ayaan, I don't even know ki woh mujhe iske liye maaf karega ya nahi.
And getting back together? Agar woh aisa nahi chahta ho toh? What if he is not in the place I am!
Ayaan- Sana he never left the place! How do you not get it? Woh 5 saal se vahi hai, ussi space mai ghum raha hai woh.
Aur you doubt if he wants to get together? Seriously? After a month where he did nothing but buzz around you? Tu jaha jaati thi vaha uski aakhein hoti thi.
Tere bina usne life continue hi nahi ki hai, tu ek iklauti cheez hai joh uske liye khudse jyada kimati hai.
Dont lose what you have Sana.
He patted her head as she slightly hummed in response. She was so tired that her limbs were giving up. She put her head on his shoulder and just laid still.
The timeline that she had, last night was with him, she hardly got any sleep. Then she ran away, the travel was taking a toll too. She didn't sleep the entire day, after Sidharth came, the confrontation and the crying had drained her out. Then Yug! The accident, the travel again and now this.
She hadn't had a moment of peace.
Meanwhile Sidharth reached back home, his hair heaveled.
"Dad?" The first he heard from was Vivaan. He was still awake and he didn't know why.
Sid- Vivaan, are you okay? Why are you still awake?
Vivaan- Mai paani peene utha tha, Yug thik hai na?
He asked restlessly.
Sid- He is perfectly fine aur jaldi ghar bhi aajayega.
He ruffled his son's hair lovingly.
Vivaan- Aur... Mom?
He asked immediately.
Sid- Teri mom ko kya hua hai?
Vivaan- I don't know, I havent seen her the entire day so thoda...
She shrugged.
Sid couldn't hold that smile that creeped on him.
Sid- You love her a little too much na?
Vivaan- Abhi toh mili hai mom mujhe dad, ofcourse I love her a lot too much.
Sid- She is fine, kal aajayegi woh, mil lena.
he smiled as he saw Vivaan walk back to his room.
He never felt bad that his kids loved Shehnaaz more than him, he infact wanted it to happen.
He had seen his kids struggle in the society without a mom. He tried his best to be there for them but what can possibly replace a mother?
He later freshened up and walked to the dining table to find something to eat.
"Baith mai paros deti hu." He heard Kay speak from behind.
She knew he was to come, he was just a little too late.
Sid- Kay? Tu rehnede, even you've had a hectic day.
Kay- Chup hoja, mai kar rahi hu.
She literally had no sentimental emotional drama funda. She just them all loves unconditionally and unabashedly.
She served him a plate full and kept it in front of him.
Kay- You look disturbed.
She said softly.
On recieving no response she called him again.
Kay- Sidharth? Are you okay?
Sid- Huh? Yeah, I am fine.
Kay- Okay so I am no Ayaan but I am also your friend and you know you can talk to me.
She turned around towards him and he sighed knowingly.
Sid- I know kay, I am just so confused.
Kay- Kyu?
Sid- It was my mistake kay, it was always my mistake.
Kay- Matlab?
He explained the entire bit of the series of misunderstandings.
Kay- Why are you both like this!
She left an exasperated sigh.
Sid- Sana janti bhi nahi thi Shreya ke baare mai. She was always innocent. It was me who caused us both this 5 year long pain.
Kay- Sirf teri galti nahi thi Sid.
She rubbed his back.
Sid- Kaise nahi thi? Agar mai ye manta hi nahi toh shayad mai uski misunderstanding solve kar sakta tha parr maine nahi kiya, kyuki mera mann bhi issi cheezo se full tha. Shayad humari shadi bach sakti thi. Shayad aaj hum saath hote! Usse ye nakli shadi ka natak nahi karna padta!
Kay- Tune usse baat ki?
She asked hiding her own tears. She couldn't see her Sidharth like this.
Sid- Koshish ki parr I am way to guilt ridden to even face her kay, mai usko kis muh se bolu ki I let a stupid misunderstanding come between us.
Kay- Sidharth now you're just being hard on yourself. Abhi bhi kuch bigda nahi hai, you can get it back.
Sid- Get it back? Agar sab mere chahne se hota toh kya hi chahiye tha kay?
He left a painful laugh.
What if she doesn't want to start again, well I've given her a lot of reasons not to.
Kay- Aur ye tune khud hi decide kar liya?
She asked accusingly.
Sid- I have heard that Aman actually lov... Likes her.
He said letting his insecurities surface.
Kay- Yeah he actually love...likes her! A blind can see that but that is not your look out. Tera look out sirf itna hai ki Shehnaaz ko kya lagta hai and she doesn't have any such feelings for him.
Sid- Maybe she doesn't but I don't know, what if we're not in the same place?
Kay- What same place are you talking about? She bloody lives in that place! Woh vaha se kahi gayi hi nahi hai.
She is still the same woman jiski subha aur raat dono tujhse hoti hai. Agar tum dono same place pe nahi hote toh joh parso tumhare beech hua woh nahi hota.
She screamed in his face, he had to get his senses back.
Sid- Kay? You know about...
He asked her flabbergasted.
Kay- Yaar common don't give me that Ms. Universe shock face, maine baat ki thi usse jab woh car mai thi and you know we tell each other stuff.
She said casually giving him a eye roll.
Sid- WHAT!?
He screamed traumatized.
Kay- Geez, just the gist Sidharth, look at your face!
She laughed.
He took one whole minute to digest that.
Sid- So what did she say? Was I any damn good?
He asked with a smirk and her eyes widened as it was now her turn to be traumatized.
Kay- OH MY GOD SHUT UP! You're brother like to me, dont give me images, yuck.
She got up immediately.
Sid- You know we have kids right?
He finally laughed after a long day.
Kay- Shhhhh... Blahblahblahblah... I can't hear you.
Sid- Sure.
He laughed.
Kay- Talk to her dumbass!
She screamed as she ran to her room.
Sid- Done.
He smiled to himself.
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Aaaaand we're done! Uptil today I didn't even think that this update was thaaaaat good but once I sat to curate it? Oh my god! Like I said This has to be the hardest part to put together and assemble.
One of the very few times that I have cried writing an update.
I hope you like it as much as I do.
I'll meet you on Monday then!