Hey guys! I am back after what I can call as very traumatic days.
No I will not talk much about this because I know all of us have already watched him go, watched Shehnaaz become lifeless, his mother stand alone and all us fans breakdown but... Life goes on!
I have tried to make my peace with it by just accepting that he lived a lifetime in these two years and it was his time to go.
About SidNaaz? Well it is eternal, immortal, always and forever. They have become a example of how pure love can be, of how soulmates are.
They are soulmates and Sid is a man of his words, he promised to protect her always and he will.
Do jism ek jaan the humare Sidharth aur Shehnaaz
Ab Do jaan ek jism ban gaye hai humare SidNaaz
***
As Aman suggested Shehnaaz sat in his car quitely without any further arguments as she knew that she wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything now.
They were silent for a while before Aman broke the silence.
Aman- Dr. Sidharth ke saath jhagda hua tha?
Sana- Huh?
Aman- Tu yaha achanak aagayi isiliye pucha.
Sana- Nahi sir, aise hi aagayi.
Aman- Shehnaaz tu mujhse jhoot toh bol nahi sakti, jitna pyaar mai tujhse karta hu, I can read your face.
She was casually looking outside the window and she turned around as soon as she heard it.
Sana- What?
She asked shock written all over her face with the casual and obvious tone he used.
Aman- Kya? Tujhe pata nahi tha?
Sana- Nahi.
Aman- *laughing* Common Shehnaaz, pure hospital ko pata hai, tere dosto tak ko pata hoga, sabko dikh gaya tujhe nahi dikha? Have you not seen how Dr. Sidharth looks at me?
Sana- Maine kabhi aisa socha hi nahi.
Aman- I understand, teri life mai khudke problems kam nahi the joh tu mere problems pe dhyan de.
Sana- I am so sorry.
Aman- Sorry kyu? Agar mai tujhse pyaar karta hu toh woh meri problem hai, tu toh bass jaisi hai vaisi hai.
He sighed.
Sana- Haa parr aapko bura nahi lagta jab maine aapko apna nakli pati bana diya aur woh sab.
Aman- Mai sirf tujhse pyaar karta hu, mera hakk nahi hai tujhpe. Thoda kabhi kabhi ye sochta hu ki agar humare beech kuch hona possible hota toh kaisa hota.
Sana- Sir humare beech...
She was stopped midway as Aman continued it for her.
Aman- Kuch hona possible hi nahi hai, kyuki tu aaj bhi Sidharth se pyar karti hai aur ab apna benchmark itna high set kiya hai toh mai toh vahi fail hogaya.
Sana- Sir... Pyaar toh...
Aman- Tum dono ki chemistry dekhi hai maine, mai aaya tha tujhe check karne uss din jab tujhe allergy hui thi.
Shehnaaz's words died in her throat, did he see them kissing? Oh my god!
Reading her expressions he laughed,
Aman- Jyada kuch nahi dekha mai tum dono ko dekhke chala gaya tha vaha se don't worry.
He laughed and she smiled a little too.
She took some time to directly look at him before asking her question,
Sana- Mujhe uske saath dekhke bura nahi lagta tha?
Aman- Bura toh... shayad thoda. Parr kis cheez ka bura manta?
You love him, he loves you, you have beautiful kids. You were destined.
Sana- But aapka kya?
She was just curious.
Aman- I wish kuch ho sakta parr woh care, woh companionship, woh humare beech nahi ho sakti kyuki woh bass ek ke hi saath hoti hai.
She put a hand on his shoulder and patted it a bit in a comforting manner.
Meanwhile,
Sidharth reached the hospital and stood outside it looking at it.
Sid- It takes a special kind of skill to have a night like that aur firr bhaagke yaha aajana. Maybe I made you cheat on him, maybe I was wrong but I did deserve a closure for it.
He spoke to himself before entering the hospital.
He walked in the hospital and direct to her cabin.
He directly barged in to find another lady seated there.
Sid- Oh damn! Substitute pediatrician, ofcourse!
He mumbled to himself.
Sid- I am so sorry I was looking for Dr. Shehnaaz.
Devika- Hey, it's fine! I am Devika, the substitute. I know she is just too famous, not the first time this has happened.
She laughed.
Sid- Uhm, do you have any idea where she might be?
Devika- I actually heard that she did come to work parr administration room mai baithi thi and abh toh shayad woh ghar chali gayi woh ek sir ke saath.
Sid- Kon?
Devika- I think he is the owner of the hospital.
Sid- Dr. Aman, right!
He scoffed.
Devika- Oh Yes, him! They are really great friend as of what I have heard.
Sid- Good friend? Madam, they're married.
He stated as a matter of fact.
Devika- Married? What rubbish! No, they're not married, they're just good friends but I can see where that came from.
She laughed.
She was very jolly and easy spoken person. He noted that.
Sid- What? How do you know that... can you explain that?
Devika- Oh well... okay? Come in please.
He came in and sat in front of her.
Devika- Yes, Shehnaaz ji married nahi hai, kaafi logo ko unko dekhke aisa lagta toh hai since Dr. Aman is madly in love with her, but she is not.
Though unki jodi achi lagegi aise dekhe toh. Do you know her by any chance?
Sid- Uhmm, yes. She is a old friend. I am Dr. Ace, I am working for the hospital for a case. But are you sure about that?
Devika- Ofcourse sir, I am nobody to disclose this but ma'am is a divorcee, maine bhi unhe pucha tha if they're a thing.
Sid- And she said?
She was a little baffled by the inquisition but she still gave him the answer.
Devika- She said and I quote, I can't think of getting married to anyone as of now or ever to be honest, because I have never completely gotten over my ex husband and probably never would.
Dr. Aman will always be a very special and important friend to me.
Sidharth felt like his head was spinning, he couldn't comprehend what was going on.
He was feeling so many things at once that he'd probably burst out.
Sid- Well, I hope the best for her.
He rushed out of there.
Sid- Isliye uske kisi bhi document pe uske shadi ka koi bhi proof nahi hai. Isiliye she lied about her mangalsutra kyuki woh toh hai hi nahi!
Isiliye Kavya aur Vihan kabhi Aman ke baare mai baat bhi nahi karte, affection toh durr ki baat hai.
He remembers the one time he was asking Kavya about Aman.
Don't get him wrong, he was not seeking information about Shehnaaz's husband, he was asking about how he was with the kids.
Flashback
Sidharth walked into the living room where Kavya was sitting with a newspaper in hand probably solving something in the games section.
He walked closer to see her try to solve a sudoku.
Sid- Ek column mai do seven nahi aa sakte na.
Kavya- Papa! Come sit, help karo mujhe. He sat next to her and helped her put the numbers in place.
Sid- Kavya tujhe ek sawal puchu?
Kavya- Ye sawal nahi tha?
Sid- *chuckling* One more... How is Dr. Aman?
Kavya- Aman uncle? He is good I guess?
She laughed inattentively.
Sidharth- Not like that... Tum dono ke saath, with you and Vihan.
Kavya- With us? Mumma kehti hai ki he spoils us, woh jab bhi bahar jaate hai koi na koi gifts leke aate hai, so I like him. Vihan also likes it but he is more into the gifts part not him.
She laughed.
He was a little confused as to how she didn't mention him as a father or atleast a father figure.
Sid- Aur as a...
"Kavu, Navya bula rahi hai baccha tujhe." They heard Sana speak from a little far away.
Kavya- Okay maa! Also papa, Aman uncle is nice only, aap bhi friendship kar sakte ho.
She merrily walked off.
Sana rushed to h as soon as Kavya went.
Sana- Seriously Sidharth? You were asking Kavya about Dr. Aman?
Sid- And that is a problem because?
Sana- Kyuki woh bacchi hai! Tujhe agar kuch puchna hi hai toh ask me not Kavya or Vihan. Unko nahi kheechte na iss saari dynamic mai?
Sid- Mai unhe kisi dynamic mai nahi kheech raha tha Sana it's just that...
Sana- Sid please, just promise me that you'll not.
She said looking almost scared.
Sid- Okay fine, I will not, happy?
Sana- Thankyou.
She said sighing.
Flashback ends
Isiliye woh nahi chahti thi mai Kavya ya vihan ko Aman ke baare mai puchu! Isiliye woh uss din darr gayi thi...
Uss din jab usne Aman ko sir bulaya tha that wasn't sarcasm, that was infact by mistake, by habit!
Was it all a lie? It couldn't be! He himself had seen Dr. Aman look at Shehnaaz in a way that made him want to choke him.
Not lusting, with love which was more difficult to bear! Dr. Aman loved her, he had seen it!
When a lover tells you that someone else likes you, you have to believe him, they know it!
He had to conform this somehow! Someone, any one!
Atleast someone could conform this for him.
Kay! It has to be kay! Shehnaaz couldn't lie to Kay ever, she was one person she would tell everything to.
He dialed Kay and waited for her to pick it up.
# Hello?
# Hello? Sid? Tu mujhe bataye bina mumbai chala gaya? What the fuck is happening? Pehle Sana chali gayi firr tu, agar koi jhagda hua tha toh yaha solve kar lete yaar...
# Kay, listen to me.
He said with utmost seriousness.
# Kya hua? Are you okay.
# Yes. I am going to ask you one question. Mujhe uss sawaal ka sidha aur honest javab chahiye.
# Uhmm, okay?
# I know you're Shehnaaz's best friend and I also know that there is no way you wouldn't know this. Mera sawal dhyan se sunn, Dr. Aman kon hai?
# Kon hai? He is... Uhm, the owner of the hospital Sana works in, he is a doctor, he is Sana's husband and...
# Is he? Is he her husband?
# Yaa ofcourse... Haa.
She said her confidence draining already.
# Kay are you sure?
He asked sternly again.
She took a huge breath before speaking softly.
# Tujhe kaise pata chala?
# Matlab ye baat sach hai, Dr. Aman meri Sana ka husband nahi hai ya nahi?
He asked again.
# Kya sunna chahta hai? Nahi. She is not married. Jaise tune aage badhke kisise shadi nahi ki vaise usne bhi nahi ki. Woh bhi utni hi akeli hai, woh aaj bhi utna hi pyar karti hai tujhse. Usne paach saal khudko bhi saza di hai, she loves you as much as you do!
She screamed on the phone, if he was in front of her she would've slapped him along with Sana across their faces.
# Pyaar? What pyaar Kay? Agar mujhse pyar karti toh yeh nahi karti. Tune bhi mujhe nahi bataya? Itne time ye mazak kyu chala? Why? Tu hi bata deti!
# Agar tujhe mai bata bhi deti toh tu kya kar leta? Jaake usse sidhe muh baat kar leta 5 saal pehle ke baare mai? Aise toh mujhe bohot saari batein pata hai parr mai kahungi nahi jab tak tum dono khud accept na karlo ki tumhari maani hui kahani ka ek dusra angle bhi ho sakta hai, tu galat ya woh sahi, tu sahi ya woh galat se badhkar bhi kuch ho sakta hai!
She said equally angry and frustrated.
# Sirf itna bata de, ye jhoot kyu?
# That is not my story to tell Sid.
# You're right, iska javab toh ab Shehnaaz Gill hi degi!
He hung up the call.
Sidharth rushed out of the hospital and drove fast, he was now standing on a lonely road trying to collect his thoughts.
He couldn't believe what was happening now, just like he couldn't believe it earlier. (Fav monologue alert again)
He was standing between strong winds, his mind playing a tape of its own, all the times he saw Shehnaaz with Dr. Aman, the first time they met after years and he saw him wrap his arms around her, the time she fought with him for Aman, the times he saw her act like his wife.
He vividly remembered how much it had pained him to let her go off his arms that night just because he thought she was somebody else's. She belonged to someone else and he had lost all the rights to touch her.
That shiver he felt when she kissed him, the regret that filled him as he thought about her intoxication.
The times when he felt like risking it all to just be with her, including her damned marriage.
His mind replayed the day he got the news of her remarriage. He was devastated, the entire time he was a broken person just because of a mere lie?
Sid- Sab kuch... Sab kuch mere aakhon ke saamne tha aur firr bhi mai itni si baat dekh nahi paya, maine kaise maan liya ki meri Sana ne kisi aur se shadi karli hai, woh aage badh gayi hai.
Mujhe pehle hi samajh jana chahiye tha ki ye ek jhoot hai parr the fact that Sana had moved on! Aisa laga ki mere dil ko kisine kaat diya ho aur Dr. Aman ka uske saath din raat hona, Sana ka Aman ka haath pakad ke aana, Aman ka uske kandhe par sar rakhna... Iss jealousy ke aage mai kuch dekh hi nahi paaya.
Parr why did she do this to me? Does she not know how possessive I was of her? Did she not know how traumatizing would it be for me to see her with someone else... As his wife. Kya prove karna chahti thi woh isse? Kyu mujhe itna dukh diya? What did I do to deserve this heart breaking lie?
Her eyes showed me her love and her words... Broke me into two. Mujhe keha ki I love him more than I ever have aur baakiyo ko? Will never get over my ex husband... Ex... Ex! Just her ex husband.
Aur mai bhi pagalo ki tarah joh bola gaya sab maanta gaya, harr minute khudko samjhata tha ki tu uske paas nahi jaa sakta woh shadi shuda hai! I burnt in the angst of making her cheat on her husband while... None of it was true!
Then what is true? Shehnaaz Gill... Mujhe mere javab chahiye!
Aise hi nahi mile hai hum, kuch toh tha... Tere mere Darmiyaan
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Finally finally finally this has happened!
Ab aage hoga... Confrontation!!!
*Evil laughs*