It happened again. Makeup artists and hair stylists want me dead. Another meeting about my hair. At some point I knew it was over for me. Especially when I spotted a razor in one bag.
The other members had disappeared and I felt like I had been abandoned. Left to die. Left to GO BALD.
And Namjoon, who was known for always checking up on me, had also disappeared.
"Mr James?" someone called, their voice was strict, meaning they must be powerful. Oh no. I patted my head and I started to walk in a different direction. And what the hell is 'Mr James' anyway.
"Sorry I'm just going to throw myself off a cliff" I mumbled power walking to a bathroom.
I stayed in the bathroom for 20 minutes, trying to savour the moments I had with my hair. It had only reached the bottom of my neck. I'll probably go to sleep bald.
God, it's like going to the military.
I could now put it all into a ponytail. And little pig tails. But no, some evil people are going to come in and shave me like a sheep.
I heard knocking on the door.
"Go away, I don't want my hair cut!" I mumbled as I tried to tuck my laces inside my shoes.
The person who knocked on the door finally came in, catching me off guard.
I heard footsteps approaching me from behind while i stared at my shoes. Death.
"Hey I've been looking everywhere for you!" a deep voice called to me. I looked up as they crouched down. "You're Jisung right?"
My heart rate picked up and I felt myself going red with rage.
"We could have made a good impression if you didn't hide under the sink".
"im not under-"
"I'm lee suhoo, I'm your makeup artist and hair stylist, an all in one" he smiled and I then had the desire to cry.
"It would be nice if I could have a few hours of your time, just to do my job" he chuckled, offering his hand.
I groaned. I ignored his hand and got up.
He turned a blind eye and led me out of the bathroom. Down the corridor. It was surprisingly loud as we walked through the halls, I guess other idols had arrived.
He led me to a lift, which I was worried over, but then I looked on the bright side, If it stopped, would miss the show, and escape with a full head of hair.
The lift happened to be covered in mirrors, which was heartbreaking for me, as i could see my hair. Soon to be shaved off....
Suho was looking at me, not through the mirror but just at my head.
I turned around, getting a bit weirded out. Why was he staring at the back of my skull?
"uh?" I turned around, trying to be polite but in reality i wanted this pretty boy dead.
"ah- I'm just wondering what to do with your hair" he let out a laugh.
"You're not the first," I mumbled. I shuffled my feet as we reached the floor. He walked in front of me while I reluctantly followed suit.
"I think we should cut it," he said, opening the door to a room.
I slouched in, my hair not prepared in the slightest.
"Should we dye it?" Suho teased me by leaning on my chair. I closed my eyes and groaned.
"Do not." was all I could choke out. He laughed again.
"You're funny" he laughed, still messing with my hair.
"I'll only cut it a bit, don't worry" he whispered, leaning down, but holding eye contact with me in the mirror. I went red again.
"I'll only cut a bit" rang through my head as he got out the shavers. My heart sank. Good bye long hair. I really wanted some kind of mullet too.
I closed my eyes, not daring to open them, gripping my phone.
I didn't want to see my hair. I could feel it dropping onto my shoulders and the ground....
"A little bit" I cursed under my breath as I finally opened my eyes to glare at Suhoo who was in the corner getting scissors. He winked. I rolled my eyes.
"You know looking at you, I wouldn't expect such a tsundere attitude from you" he teased.
Looking at you I didn't expect you to be this annoying.
I turned the other way in my chair to avoid eye contact with him. He chucked still. In that time I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I was close to tears.
I had actually forgotten what my face shape was after so long, and I now could see the back of my neck in the mirror. And that horrible scar.
Most of my scars would be covered up, like the massive one in my arm, because it was in the choreography to have a jacket.
Suhoo watched me turn constantly in the mirror, and he saw me pulling at the back of my neck.
"Your hair looks like it grows quickly," he said, only trimming a small portion of my hair.
I did, but I couldn't nod and I didn't want to be vocal with him.
"I'm almost done" he sang, fluffing it up a bit more and moving some of it out of my face.
Evil man.
Watch your back.
_
I fell asleep as he did my makeup, I had been trying not to breath the whole time.
"Mr Jang? Mr James?" he called waving his hand in my face to wake me up
I groaned. Why do people call me that-
"Because it's your name" he laughed holding his stomach as he doubled over
I guess I said that out loud huh?
"Silly" he was still laughing. i groaned again
"Ahh you're cute" he grinned, flicking my forehead. I glared.
"Now! Look at yourself! I didn't spend 1 hour doing your make up for you to not admire yourself!" he shoved my in front of my mirror
"I could finally do your makeup properly, it's hard to do someone's makeup when they're asleep." he said, leaning on my shoulder as I avoided looking at myself in the mirror.
"Appreciate my art will you!" he moved my face to the mirror.
I didn't recognise myself. My eyes were shiny and I was surprised with the colour in my face.
"Woah! I look so cool!" I beamed leaning forward to look closer.
"My eyes! My eyes look so cool!'' I only leaned forward more to look at myself, slightly blurred because I didn't have my glasses.
"You need these don't you" Suhoo held my glasses up teasingly.
"Hey!" I shouted trying to grab them off him.
"Um no little JJ'' he laughed again.
I glared. People call me anything but my name-
"Sorry, I can't let you wear glasses today" he smirked evilly
"Prick" I mumbled, my hand going up to rub my eye, but he smacked my hand.
"No no don't do that-" he shrieked, pushing me back into my seat.
I sighed
"You need to behave yourself, I do have your manager's number y'know" he teased moving my hair out of my face.
I nodded and went back to staring at myself in the mirror.
"My hair-" I whimpered, clutching strands of hair.
It was still extremely long on top, and fluffy, but he had shaved the sides. My neck felt empty. "You will get used to it" Suhoo said, putting my hair back in place.
"Now, I think you should go get changed, I think if you go to the floor above you will find your group." he said smiling. And just like that our time together was coming to an end.
THANK GOD.
"I can sense your sadness" Suhoo chuckled and reached out his hand.
Sadness? What sadness? This is the best part of my day? I hate this guy
"Phone?" he grinned. I suddenly found myself nodded and giving up my phone.
He was there for about a minute, and I feared he was bluffing, or I had misread what he wanted to do with my phone.
What if he just wanted to say something mean in my notes app?
Go ahead, see how you like being doxed on twitter.
"Here" Suhoo handed back my phone.
"Work number and my personal number. And no this isn't illegal" he said, even though I seriously doubted this.
"oh uh thanks.." I gestured to my hair
"You're not thankful for that, I can tell, but I can tell you like your makeup," he said teasingly.
"someone had to do it" I mumbled.
I stood there for a minute not doing anything. "You should go now. I'll be watching, you will do great, even if it is just 6 minutes" he patted my shoulder, waving goodbye as I left the room.
_
I walked back, seriously self conscious of my face and hair. I feel bald.
Especially when people watch me as I walk past. Maybe it's because I've always looked stupid.
I took the stairs, not wanting to go in the lift due to all the mirrors and my overall truma for lifts.
You could tell Bts was on his floor because you could hear screaming.
Hoseok and Jungkook's voices stuck out the most. I could sense they were running around, probably chasing each other.
I looked at myself in my phone camera and started messing with my hair. I was starting to feel sick.
I sat outside the room, feeling my breathing start to pick up, and I started hyperventilating.
I can't go out there. I felt my stomach swirl as I imagined what a 100 people looked like, and then what 1000 would be. Or even more than that.
"Jisung?" It was Jungkook. He was smiling, panting. Clearly he had just been chased.
"Oh hello" I said looking up at him. My voice sounded horrible.
Jungkook crouched down in front of me.
"Are you ok?" he cocked his head to the side.
I blinked a few times trying to rid my anxiety.
"Oh, I'm okay" I said, my voice once again sounded funny.
"Woah you had a hair cut" Jungkook suddenly leaned forward, and started to play with it.
"It's so soft-" he started ruffling it.
A part of me died. To soon. Don't remind me of my haif.
"What are you two doing out here-" Yoongi said looking down at us in judgement.
"Nothing," Jungkook said, quickly removing his hands.
"Anyway, why are you wearing sunglasses inside?" Jungkook said standing up. He looked at me and did a double take, indicating I should stand up.
"I don't want to see you. This is the closest thing I'll get in real life censoring" yoongi sighed.
Jungkook turned away, the look on his face was one of confusion.
"well yo-" Yoongi started but then we heard a yell.
"JISUNG- JISUNG" Hoseok came speeding down the corridor. It was actually quite terrifying. He jumped on me, sending us flying.
"Your hair!" he screamed. I went temporarily deaf as he screamed.
"It's shorter now but you look so good, I can see your face now!" and without warning he started yelling.
"SHUT UP" someone yelled from another room. Jimin.
Hoseok snickered and then turned to Jungkook to hit him. He seemed to only just have realised he was there
"What was that for- '' Jungkook said, tears welling up in his eyes out of batral. Hoseok rolled his eyes, getting him in a headlock.
"You ran off- you only got away with it because you were with Jisung"
Then Taehyung appeared out of nowhere. He didn't look so good.
He was pale, and the fact that I didn't notice him approaching was worrying.
He just put his head on my shoulder and frowned.
"What's wrong?" I whispered to him, stepping back so Hoseok wouldn't detract me.
He simply shook his head and put his head in his hands. He looked how i felt.
We entered a room where things were quiet and Taehyung could just sit.
He put his head leaning the wall, as he simply stared at the blank tv screen that would soon be displaying performances. It would be another half an hour before things fully started, I presume the MCs were memorizing their lines right now.
"I'm going to have to perform without you" Taehyung said, sitting up, looking at me, his eyes watering.
"Only for a bit" I mumbled. He shook his head. "I'll be performing after"
"But that's not it, I don't feel up to it, it doesn't feel right" he sighed, fiddling with my hand.
Without thinking I spoke. "Well you've been doing pretty fine without me for the last 2, almost 3 years" my voice made it sound like I was being horrible. I back tracked, but this is where I truly slipped up.
"but I mean, I've only been here a while and I don't think I should be performing anyway, it's not right-" Taehyungs hand moved so quickly that I didn't see it coming. it was so fast i didn't doge.
All I felt was the stinging pain as he smacked my face. Hard. My eyes watered as he did so.
He glared, taking hold of my shoulders.
"You- you idiot-" Taehyung's eyes were increasingly becoming more waterily, they were filling up, until they overflowed. Spilling over onto his pale cheeks.
I shut my mouth. Sensible.
"Jisung, don't think I haven't noticed- you put yourself lower than the other members- you deserve to be here" his eyes were now a constant flow of tears. He only gripped my shoulders harder.
"Just because not everyone else saw you trying, doesn't make your efforts invaluable." he suddenly let go, letting his head fall into my chest.
"I want to perform with you- you are a member. You're not just someone we work with just because we have to, Please-"
I felt numb. I want to know how I should be feeling.
I sat there, unmoving, feeling slightly put in my place.
Taehyung has never scolded me before, i mean he had, when I first joined
But he had never gotten annoyed with me after. I think it shows a lot. Realistically , in the time of our friendship , he had never gotten mad at me and he had always defended me. And right now I suddenly felt a wave of appreciation for Taehyung in general. Even in previous arguments he had always believed and defended me.
I guess that's why he got so annoyed..
(a/n:
once again, thank you to joon4ever for editing this with me