I was ready for the finals chapters to end. The collection of high school stories I experienced to be tucked away in a photo album, or in this case stored in my Instagram archive. I was ready to grow up. Although I heard people tell me about my potential and the brightness of my future, no one ever told me I had a good head on shoulders. I was never assured on having good judgment or intellect.
Instead I was always told I had good feet.
Godly crafted , a good arch, good lines, flexibility, and a perfect point.
They were sinfully perfect, and when I touched the ground I left trails of fire. That even the tap of my pinky toe made hell hear heaven, even the devil said amen but I've slept next to the devil, and they'd never mumbled a prayer. Only kiss the ground I walk don.
I watched intently as the junior dancers practiced. They were around ages 11-14 just a few years younger than me. I made them nervous, yet excited all at once. A few of them cracked under pressure falling short of their own expectations in their attempt to out do them.
Their small cheeks ridden out of embarrassment as they scrambled off the floor and out of the way of girls who did opposite. The ones who were eager to be seen executed the given task, not cracking under pressure but turning into diamonds becomes of it, because of the eyes.
I wondered if they would told the same thing as I. They have good feet. Then I wondered again, about the girls who lost their balance, who scolded the shape of their own feet. To flat to balance the world on their shoulders, they cave. Would they get different shoes harder and stricter one reshaping their feet, crushing their toes all to be like the girl, who was born with them.
The world kept spinning for the girls with good feet. Perfect turns and spins, stepping over the ones falling beneath them.
" Don't stop." I instructed as I walked towards them. There small bodies continuing to move through the rhythms as if I weren't an intrusion to it.
I stood over a girl who fell, curious as to why she didn't instinctively get up. She held her foot.
" Are you hurt?" Her doe eyes looked at me terrified and embarrassed. She shook her head no. " Can I see." With hesitation she removed her hands showcased her feet. She didn't wear pointe shoes like the others, not like she was suppose to. Instead she wore ballet flats, wrong in all aspects. The fabrics was thin, ill supported and the sole her slipper was torn exposing the bottom of her feet.
I sighed. I could see why the others girls had good feet.
They could good afford shoes. The girl wasn't a bad dancer, far from it. She didn't have the same foundation as everyone else.
The music stopped.
The rest of the girls didn't move without my permission holding their posses as they waited for my voice to cut the thick silence with critiques. They knew it was far from perfect, and even though as their teacher that was suppose to matter to me. It didn't seem fair to give them hell about it, not when I could fix the problem privately.
" I'll see you all tomorrow." That's all I said. They looked each other confused unmoving. " You're dismissed." I restated. With that they scrambled not wanting me change my mind and having them do the routine all over again.
" Don't go." I told the girl.
I had the job for nearly a week now, but names weren't something I had grasped just yet. I knew I should have, these girls deserve to have their names known.
" What's your name?"
" C-Cleo." She stuttered. " I'm sorry about the dance, I know my counts I promise it's just when my shoe broke I-" she suddenly and quickly which took me by surprise.
" Oh no, you're not in trouble Cleo." I said.
" I'm not?"
" No, you are a great dancer."
" Not as good as them." She frowned
I kneeled down in front of her. " But you are, everyone falls. But not everyone gets back up. Can you get up Cleo?"
She nodded, I extended my hand and she took it and began to stand up. " People might have nicer things, but that doesn't make them nice. They might have better things but that doesn't make them better than you, not a dancer, not even a better person."
" But-"
" It doesn't." Silence feel between us, her eyes falling down to her broken slipper. " Would you like new pointe shoes Cleo?" Cleo nods. " What size."
" 5" I nodded. " Okay, I'lll have them in your locker tomorrow before practice."
Cleo's lips turn into a bright smile and I couldn't help but do the same. " Really?"
" Of course, and you tell anyone else who needs them to come to me okay." She nods. " Promise?" I asked holding out my pinky, she caught it and replied " Promise"
" Now get out of here." With smile she hurried off the sole of her shoe flapping with her.
It felt good to work. When Mrs. Lettie came to me with the offering I couldn't say no, she knew I had been searching for a job and this one perfect. Before practice I'd coach the Junior team. With Jasper working I needed to do the same. It was time to cut my Father off before he cut me. He knew couldn't control me finically and I had to end it before it could even start. He already expressed his disapproval for Juilliard and even know I expected to win the full ride there would still be necessities I need for when I got there and I had to be able to afford them.
My mind was on moving forward and starting new. I had to put things behind me, even certain secrets, especially certain people.
I headed into the locker room prepared to greet my dance mates. Nani and Bee had arrived only moments before I had both of the laughing caught in conversation as I entered.
" Look at our hard worker." Bee teased.
" Haha." I sarcastically laughed.
" Those kids running you wild?" Nani asked as she laced up.
" Not anymore than you do." I joked
" Seriously though Kin, we think what you're doing is great. Balancing this and school. I know it can be a lot." Nani complemented which earned her an eye roll from Bee.
I shrugged. " Their are people who work circles around me. I have the privilege of never working a day in my life if I wanted too. I'm not special."
" Just now realized that." Bee interjected with a playful wink , but I knew it was far from it. Bee always spoked her truth, even when I didn't notice it. " I'm realizing a lot of things Bee."
" How pivotal, Nani is on a self love journey, Kinsley in her era of privilege awareness. Did I miss the memo on our character development?" She dramatically taunted as she slide on her leggings. " Or was I just not invited." She pouted. I sure she felt the difference, I favored Nani. It wasn't a perfect friendship, but in the last weeks it was one I prioritized and had no shame in excluding Bee, even during our latest hunt for prom dresses.
Bee prided herself on her authenticity, a rule breaker a rebel. They say go left, she goes right, they say go so stops. We say, heal she says hurt. That's was her only way of fitting in, acting as if she stood out. Creating this free spirited character because she knew if she was anything else, people wouldn't notice her, it bothered her how even with all of that. They still didn't notice her. Not her parents, not the boys, not her peers. I think Bee wanted to be softer, she wanted to be Prom Queen, dance star, Miss Popular, the girl everyone loved. But I was, that niche was already taken and it was a spot she couldn't compete for. Maybe it was even simpler than that. Maybe you could explain it better than I could.
I met more people that loved me, then those that hated me. I had hard time distinguishing the two because the lines always blurred.
The lines didn't blur with Beatrice. They were quite clear.
" I would have, but I figured you were hanging out with your friends." I stated Nani looked up at me curiously.
Bee scoffed. " Friends?"
I nodded " Yeah."
" Skinny Rog." I had talked to him a few days prior. He confessed in seconds with no coercion. He said Bee would get him an invite to Lucas party if he trashed my locker.
The room went cold, and luckily no else had arrived early. Bee didn't move for moment, careful of her reaction. " What? What does he have do with anything-"
" Oh you forgot?" I laughed. " Oh my God. Have you been using those roofies again? I mean if you forgot I understand, those things do tend to fuck a persons memory." My voice fell sharp at those last words the tension in the room getting thicker by second.
Nani's eyes widen in realization, a gasp left her lips as she jumped away from Bee.
" Oh come on Bee. Since you're in your poisonous bitch era. Please tell us about your... character development."