A N G E L I N A
For once in like my whole lifetime, New York is not busy.
Maybe it is because I am walking around on the morning Christmas Eve or maybe it's just not busy. I wiped my eyes as I kept on walking, truthfully I do not know where I am going or why I left.
My voice feels like it is gone but I can not do this anymore, I turned the corner walking up to this Christmas store I own. I do not directly own it but I own it I walked inside looking at all the beautiful decorations.
I looked over to the cashiers who immediately spotted me and became scared "No no no" I said with my voice coming out like a whisper. "Do you guys have candy canes?" I asked making one girl point to aisle three.
I walked into aisle three to see a shitload of candy canes in different flavours I went back to the front and grabbed a cart making my way to aisle three. I got a lot of candy canes and made my way back to the front, "Are you okay?" One of them asked.
I looked at the cashier who is looking at me weirdly as I put the boxes onto the counter for her to scan. I nodded as I put the last box up "But you are crying" She said making me touch my face to see I am in fact crying.
"Yes but I am fine" I said as she put all of my boxes into a bag, I paid for the candy canes and took my bag from her. "Merry Christmas" I said as I walked out of the store and used my sleeve to wipe my eyes.
I ate candy canes on my walk over to one of my buildings, I used the hand recognition allowing my door to open up for me. I made my way inside to see it completely empty not empty like no prisoners like empty with no guards. I took off my hat as I walked into the elevator and pressed the top floor.
I made my way out of the elevator and entered my office, I turned on my PA system as I sat down. "Hello everyone, I am currently having a mental breakdown but it's whatever. Happy holidays everyone!" I said.
"I would give you guys candy canes but you would definitely turn them into shives and try to escape. I am planning on coming around and torturing you all so hopefully that makes me stop crying." I said as I turned off the PA system.
I played Christmas music as I worked on the things I said I would do after Christmas as I ate the candy canes, I ended up finishing stuff that I was supposed to do in January.
I looked over to the clock to see it's now four pm I took off my coat and scarf. I touched my face to see I am still crying, "What the fuck?" I asked as I put on gloves and grabbed one of my torture boxes and candy cane box.
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"You have killed everyone in the building and yet you are still crying." The man said as I wiped my eyes with my sleeve. "I am well aware." I said as I sighed. "Can I have a Quran?" He asked making me nod, "Yeah if I have one." I said as I walked out of the cell.
I am well aware I am a bitch and a monster but, he knows he is about to die so the least I can do is let him pray one more time.
I found a Quran in my office and gave him some privacy as he prayed. "Whatever is bothering you won't go away until you discuss it with the people hurting you or give yourself closure from it" He said.
"I'll keep that in mind" I said as I picked up a knife and sighed "I'm sorry" I said making him smile at me as he nodded. "I deserve to be punished for my crimes" He said. I slit his throat making him choke on his blood and die.
I made my way into thr office to see that it is ten pm I put on my coat, hat and scarf back on then walked out of my building to see that the sun has set and it's kind of dark now.
Not one person is outside. I put my hands in my pockets as I walked onto the beach. It is very slippery and my shoes do not have that grip meaning I have slipped multiple times but I have never fully fell yet.
I can feel someone walking up behind me and I honestly don't even care, they took off my hat making me turn my head to see Nicolas holding it.
I took it from him and put it back in my head my cheeks are red, my eyes are red, my nose is red and I still have tears coming out of my eyes. "What is going on with you Angelina?" Nicolas asked, "I am fine" I said as I turned to face the water. "Your eyes, face and behaviour say something very different" He said.
"I said i'm fine" I said as he shoved something in my face making me push his arm away staring at the ring box in front of me. He opened it up for me to see the ring he gave me when he first asked me to be his girlfriend, he threw it into a lake back in Venice so how is this here right now?
"I had divers search for it then got it professionally cleaned four times" He said as I smiled and my eyesight became blurry. "Nicolas I can't." I said.
"You can't what? My hands are getting cold Angelina take it" He said as I looked up at him, "I can't." I said making him stare at me as I wiped my eyes and he closed the box. "No you can, you just don't want to" He said as he lightly threw it somewhat far from us.
"I never said that Nicolas-" He put his hands in his jackets pockets as he began to walk away. "Nicolas please-"
"I don't care Angelina." He said as he turned to face me, "Do what you want with your life I am done." He said as he turned around and walked away. He speed walked over to his car and sped off while I walked around looking for the ring box until I found it, I am full on sobbing. Not quietly like a very dramatic cry.
I put the ring box in my pocket and pulled out a pocket knife. I rolled up my coat sleeve as I pressed the knife against my arm creating a small cut making me exhale as I pressed it along some more creating small cuts.
I slowly sat down and switched hands using the knife on my other arm, I dropped the knife onto the floor as I realized that I have stopped crying. I wiped my arms against my sweatpants as I called Nicolas who didn't answer.
I called my mom who didn't answer then Paige, Christopher, Christian and Giovanni. None of them answered, I stood back up as I started to walk again. I walked back to my community and eventually to my house.
I placed my hand on the doorknob about to open the door but I can hear voices. I walked over to the window in the living room to see everyone and I mean everyone in MY house having a blast.
Nicolas, my mom, Christopher, Christian, Giovanni, Paige, even Grace and Castillo. Even Nicolas's fucking brother Alessandro.
They all have their phones in their hands recording my fucking decorations meaning they all saw me call them. I sucked in a breath as I pulled out my phone and called Nicolas who looked at his phone then hesitatingly as he answered my call.
He walked away from everyone as I placed my phone to my ear, "Come home baby. What are you doing?" He asked as he walked away from everyone. I smiled as I sighed and hung up, he rubbed his face and walked into the alcohol pantry as I called everyone in that room and they all looked at their phone as they sent me to voicemail.
I looked at my phone to see that Christopher is calling me. "Yo yo! Sorry I just saw that you called me earlier" He said as he answered making me look out the window to see him walking away from everyone.
I exhaled as I walked away from the window "Angelina?" He asked as I walked out of my community. "Where are you? Is this not your own Christmas party?" He asked as I walked back onto the streets.
"Am...I important to you?" I asked as I began to walk headed for a specific place. "Yes you always have been and you always will be. You are also important to Damon and Ale your children so do not do anything stupid and just come home." He said.
"I called every single per-" I exhaled as I closed my eyes "I am fine, I am just out getting some things for the party and I saw this Christmas card which says you are important to me." I said as I tried to reassure him.
"And you wanted to give it to me?" He asked as I sniffed "Yeah that's why I asked uh I have to go but I'll see you soon" I said as I turned the corner. "Alright, are you okay?" He asked, "I am fine" I said as I hung up and walked up the porch stairs. I knocked on the door and seconds later my dad opened it with money in his hands, "You are not the pizza guy."
"I'm afraid not" I said with a shaky voice as he welcomed me inside. "What happened?" He asked making me shake my head no "Nothing happened. I didn't- You aren't at the party." I said.
"What party?" He asked clearly confused as to what I was speaking about, "We have our problems but I sent you an invite" I said.
"Oh your Christmas party! Your mother, siblings and lover and basically whoever is there right now made it very clear that I should not show up plus we no that was a pity invite"
"I wasn't aware-"
"Angelina I am your father more than you would like to admit I know you. Now when I ask you this, I am asking you out of love." He said making me nod. "Show me your wrists." He said making me blink, I slowly showed him my wrists making his face drop. "Oh sweetie" He said as he grabbed my hands.
"I'm sorry." I mumbled out as I began to sob making him hug me tightly as I sobbed into his shoulder. I don't know long I cried for but it was a while.
He told me to take a shower which I did then changed into the clothes he left out that are Christians. He wrapped my wrists for me then put on my favourite movie and forced me to eat pizza.
"Angelina you do realize you aren't leaving this household without releasing" He said as I took another bite of my pizza slice. "I don't know what that is" I said.
"Ever since you were a child you would get hurt physically, emotionally or mentally and you wouldn't deal with it. You would bury it then keep it locked up inside of you until the most smallest thing made you release everything."
"I thought you would lose the habit but you haven't you blame yourself for the death of that little boy" He said making me crack my knuckles. "It wasn't your fault at all. No one knew Alina would do what she did, you aren't at fault for that but you blame yourself." He said.
"You haven't grieved for him, you haven't thought about the fact you almost died not to long ago. About the fact your children were kidnapped, about Damon the only father figure in your life dying as well and the list goes on and on you don't heal."
"You bury it, which is now exploding in your face you are crying during your most favourite time of the year you are supposed to be with your children not me" He said as tears filled my eyes again.
I told him everything that happened to me today "And then Christopher answered" I said as I wiped my eyes.
"Do not punch me. Your lover boy told them about what happened in an attempt to make them come over and surprise you. But he had to find you then he went to the beach and you were there but you didn't take the ring or some shit so he left and they just carried on without you."
"And how would you know that?" I asked. "He told Christopher who told me, he called me worried about thinking that you are going to harm yourself including Nicolas he was the first one to call me and ask me if you were with me." He said as his phone dinged.
"Your children love you" He said as he chuckled, "What do they have to do with-"
"Go open the door I got a package" He said cutting me off. "No one delivers on-"
"The door." He said cutting me off, I stood up and walked over to the door opening it to see Damon holding out a dead flower and Ale holding a chocolate box.
I looked back up to see four of my men standing next to the gate. "They opened the door and we saw them, we are aware we aren't supposed to be guarding your house but we decided to" One of them said making me form a heart with my hands making them smile.
I picked up the twins and signalled for them to come inside but they said they wanted to go be with their families. I placed the twins down in the living room they are dressed up in their winter attire but their cheeks are still rosy. "I am sorry." We all said in sync as my dad walked into the kitchen.
"No you two do not need to apologize" I said as I bent bent down to their level. "I don't need to apologize" Ale said making Damon roll his eyes. He opened up his jacket pocket pulling out two papers he handed me one and told me to wait before I open it. He opened up the other one and cleared his throat.
"Dear mama, I am sorry for ruining your drawing. I do not like that you were someone else's mommy, I am sorry. It won't happen again and please don't cry, when you cry it makes me cry and I don't want to cry."
I smiled as I wiped my eyes and opened the paper to see it is a picture of me and Alex kind of similar to the one I received all those years back.
"Oh honey!" I said as I picked him up taking off his hat, I kissed him all over his face and hugged him. "I said don't cry and you are crying." He said as I reached out for Ale who walked into my grasp, "Mommy loves both of you so so much okay?" I asked and they nodded.
"Does your dad know you are here?" I asked as I pulled away and squeezed their cheeks. "I caught Damon putting on his snow clothes and he told me he was going to look for you, I didn't want him to go outside by himself and I wanted to see you so I went with him" Ale said as he wrapped his hand around my curls.
"So no" I said making him shake his head no I picked up the twins as my dad walked back into the living room. "This is a great time to tell you that this was a plan" He said making my smile fade.
"What?" I asked as he walked up to me, "Damon broke your picture on purpose. Nicolas said as he on purpose but he did not mean it, they declined your calls on purpose in hope that you would scream and release everything. They knew you would come to the house so they threw a fake party." He said.
"But the plan went left when you know" He said making me place the twins down. "So this was just some fucked up play to get me in contact with my feelings?" I asked on the verge of punching him.
"Yes we realize that was a mistake now. Christopher messed up the plan as did those two so your lover boy has now realized his children are missing so people are now looking for them and he is scared shitless."
I turned around facing the twins "You two knew about this?" I asked. "Papa made us do it." They said in sync. "You were supposed to go to the beach and just scream everything out." My dad said.
Me and my dad both got dressed in our winter attire we walked back to the beach as I tried my best to explain to them that sometimes I do stupid things and then scream. We arrived at the beach and my dad played with them while I just stood there watching them.
I pulled the ring box out of my coat pocket and opened it I pulled the ring out of the box and slid it back onto my finger. I can hear feet literally running towards me, I sighed as Nicolas appeared in front of me on the verge of tears.
"I lost the twins. I am so sorry it was a fucked up plan which backfired- I can't find them anywhere Angelina I am getting scared and I am so sorry for the shit I said to you I never meant it-" I kissed him softly making him shut up, he immediately wrapped his arms around me kissing me back.
"I know." I whispered as I pulled away from his lips. "Do not meddle in my mental life again Nicolas." I said as I snapped my fingers making the twins attach themselves to Nicolas legs. He exhaled out of relief once he saw them, "What the fuck?" He asked.
"No you what the fuck, Why would you bring the twins into this shit?" I asked as he picked them up hugging them tightly. "We needed you to explode but this is some twisted shit Angelina" He said as he kissed the twins heads. "I was scared...."
I traced his gaze to see he is staring at my wrist that is bandaged up I put my hands in my jacket pocket as he placed the twins on the ground. "Nicolas I am fine." I said as tears fell from his eyes.
"No you are not and you need to stop saying that. I didn't think that this is what you would do and I am so so sorry from the bottom of my heart that I caused that" He said as the twins ran away from him and he fell down to his knees.
"You didn't. I swear to you that I did not do that because of you." I said as I wiped his eyes pulling him into my grasp hugging him tightly, "Please don't cry" I said as I tried to pull him up but he would not budge.
"How can I not Angelina?" He asked as he sat down on the ground making me sit down next to him, "Because I am fine" I said as I made him look at me. "This is what is going to happen, we will talk about this. You have to make a promise to me right now that you will stop bottling up your emotions. And you will never ever harm yourself again." He said.
"I promise." I said as he helped me stand up and pulled me into his grasp hugging me tightly to the point where my back cracked. I looked over to my dad who is smiling at us he mouthed the words forgive me then fell to the ground shaking.