©JRF2016
Isabella's been staying with me all day every day since I woke up. She had left a few minutes ago to help get things ready for this supply run that the Sheriff, the deputy, and my little brother were going on. This is the first time she's been away from me and I don't know how long she'll be gone. Now that I'm all alone in this cramped cell I start thinking about my injuries, disabilities. I keep staring down at my left hand with the stubs where my last two fingers used to be. I can't believe that pretty boy prick actually bit my fingers off. I knew he was crazy but I never imagined he'd be that crazy. What good am I to anyone now? I can't even hold a pistol, or a knife. Moving my gaze back to my right arm with the splint Hershel made up for me, I stared at my attachment. It didn't even have a blade on it anymore. Martinez had taken that off when the Governor was making his big fight to the death speech and I haven't been out to find a suitable replacement yet. I'm useless. Daryl should have just left me to die back there. "Hey Papá," Isabella spoke and I jerked my head up to meet her gaze, "Whatcha thinkin'?"
"Nothin' baby girl," I lied, "Just ready to get up and get movin'." She nodded as I looked back down at my left hand lying there in my lap. She sat down beside me and wrapped her arms around me in one of her sweet hugs. "If you think you're ready," she started as she put my arm around her shoulders, "Then let's take a walk."
As I walked out into the beams of the hot Georgia sun I threw my head back and closed my eyes. Basking in the warmth of the sunshine and for a brief moment every one of those pestering thoughts had left my mind. I had my daughter, my little brother, and sunshine. When I brought my head back down I looked around at this new group of mine as they all stared at back at me. "What the hell are y'all lookin' at?" I sneered at all of them and they looked away. "Papá," Isabella said as she turned to face me, "Chill. They were all worried about you, is all."
"Yeah, sure." I snarked. Isabella looked at me, the way her mother always did causing me to falter in my screw everybody attitude. "Baby, all I care about is you and Daryl. As long as I got you two I don't need anybody else, and I damn sure don't need their pity." Shane walked up and slung his arm around my little girl smiling, "Good to see ya out and about Merle." He was trying to be extra nice. I huffed out a sarcastic, "Yeah right." Shane shrugged it off and started to pull Isabella to the side. "Essere Papáposteriore destra. Siate felici." {Be right back Papá. Be happy.} She smiled and whispered in my ear before she kissed my cheek. I watched as he talked to her and I rolled my eyes as he stole a kiss before leaving on this run. I walked over and sat down on the bleachers in front of what used to be a basketball court and I watched my beautiful, all grown up daughter walk down to the gate to let her new beau out to go on his supply run. I should be glad that she found her a guy that is able to take care of her, especially in a world like this. I guess I did take some comfort in knowing that as long as she was with him she would be safe, he would look out for her as good as I could, but I still didn't like the idea of my little girl with any man. I'm her Papáand I was her number one not too long ago. She looked to me for help, for answers, for protection from the monsters under her bed. Now what am I? I can't even hold my little girl's hand. I can't protect her at all now.
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As I walked outside with PapáI saw Rick and Shane by the car getting ready for their run. Andrea was going to ride along with Daryl. Shane walked over to me and Papáand put his arm around me, trying to be friendly with Papáand he just snapped back rudely. Shane paid no attention to it, he knew how Papáwas, he was only being nice because of me anyway. He pulled me off to the side to say goodbye before he left on this run. "You sure you don't wanna go Izzy," Shane asked, "I know how you're always itchin' for action." He smiled at me with that crooked little grin that drives me crazy. I kissed him and then looked back toward my Papá. "No I don't wanna leave him. His arm is healing up but he seems to be spiraling into some kind of depression. He won't talk to me about it." Shane nodded and placed another kiss on my lips. I walked down to the gate to let them out and watched them disappear down the road.
Everyone was running around as usual doing their specific tasks. It was still early and with Rick and Shane gone there was no one to go out and check the snares. I decided to take papa out with me, maybe being out there actually doing something instead of just laying around might make him feel better. I walked up to him now sitting on the bleachers in the middle of the yard and sat down beside him. "I was thinking," I said staring up at the sky, "Rick and Shane usually check the snares but with this run they forgot. You wanna go out with me?" He smiled the biggest smile I've seen on his face in a long time. "I'd love to. Get me outta this place for a while."
It was quiet out here. No walkers around to bother us, but we didn't talk. We just walked. We checked snares along the way and had our bags filled with a few rabbits and squirrels but mostly just enjoyed each other's company, away from everyone else. Suddenly Papástopped. I turned around to look at him and started to ask him why he had stopped when he help up a finger to shush me. He cocked his head to the side listening intently. "You here that?" I shook my head before doing the same and then replied, "Yeah, over here." I turned and started running in the direction of the noise. I skidded to a halt when it came into sight and stared in disbelief. I finally turned to Papáseeing him staring too, "Can you believe this?" He slowly shook his head back and forth, "We'll be heroes tonight!" He smiled back at me as he neared the beast, "Well, come on then. Let's get 'im back to the prison so we can get 'im ready for supper." Papáwalked over the the huge boar laying on the ground caught in our trap and started to tie him up. I ran over to him and grabbed its back legs as he grabbed its front and we started to hoist it up onto out shoulders. Someone grabbed me from behind and pulled me backward causing me to drop the massive animal carcass. I hit the ground and looked up to see a rotting corpse standing above me snarling. Blood dripping from its mouth and maggots crawling around in the gaping holes in its flesh. I scrambled to try and get to my feet but before I could the he fell on top of me. I thrust my hand upward ramming it into the walker's throat and holding it away so it couldn't bite me. "Papá!" I screamed for him but he was already at the walker's back trying to pull him off me. He fumbled to get a hold of him but couldn't between having only three fingers on his left hand and the fact that every time he grabbed the walker his skin just pulled off his bones. As he fought with the thing another one had grabbed his arm and was now trying to take a bite out of his blade-less attachment. They really were just driven by mindless instinct, she had no idea that the piece she was gnawing on wasn't even flesh. We struggled with these two walkers for a few minutes neither of us able to get the upper hand on them when we heard two gunshots. We both looked toward the sounds as the walkers fell limp. I threw the walker off of me and Papáhelped me to my feet and looked me over for bites or scratches. "Izzy," I heard Shane call as he ran up to me, wrapping his arms around me. "Are you okay?" He asked looking at me and then glancing back at Papá. I nodded as he hugged me. "Thought you were out on a run," Papásaid as he watched Daryl and Rick run over too. "We were, when we got back Carol told us that you two came out here to check the snares right after we left and you weren't back yet." Daryl told him. "We got worried, it's gettin' late."
"Yeah, and we need to get back before it gets any later," Rick spoke up. Shane pulled a rag from his pocket and was now wiping the blood from my face. His big, brown eyes looking deep into mine and when he finished he pulled me into his chest again. I reached out behind him grabbing Papá's arm as he watched us and gave him a reassuring squeeze. Papácleared his throat before finally looking at Daryl, "Come on Darylina, we got us some bacon to take back to camp. Help me out." Papáand Daryl hoisted the boar up and we all trudged back to the prison.
When everyone saw us coming back with that wonderful dinner the shouts erupted. Rick looked at everyone and held is hands up flat in the air signaling them all to keep it down. We sat around a huge table eating the ham feast we had been so graciously given today in silence. Shane sat very close by my side and I noticed papa kept staring at me. Everytime I caught him staring he immediately dropped his head and stared at the ground. Shane had finished his plate and started stretching and rubbing his stomach. "Mmmm, mmmm, that was a good meal. Thank ya Izzy and Merle for goin' out there and findin' it before the walkers got to it." Shane smiled at Papáand then wrapped his arm around me pulling me into his side. "Yeah, thank you," Rick added as he slapped Papáon the back giving him a gracious smile, "Don't know what we would have been eating tonight if it weren't for you two looking out for us." Papástood up and let out a snort before trodding off inside the cell block. Rick looked over at me concerned. I jumped up and followed Papáto his cell.
He had a head start on me so he reached his cell a couple minutes before I walked into the cell block. When I did enter the block I heard a lot of noise coming from his cell. I started running fearing something bad had happened. When I reached his door he was standing in front of the bunks and the stools and tables in the cell were slung around the cell, broken and scattered. Papáturned to look at me and then plopped himself down on the edge of the bed. He didn't say anything, didn't offer any explanation. He just sat there staring at the cold, hard concrete floor. I walked over and sat next to him placing my arm around him. "Papá, talk to me. What's wrong with you?" He jumped up now in a fit of anger I've never in my life seen in him. I flinched as he glared down at me before he stomped out of the cell.