Falling Of The Rules

Chapter 29. (!)

Two days.

It's been two long emotional days.

I don't remember what happened when Caleb started driving away from the restaurant, I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I remember was waking up in his bed the next day, him by my side wide awake, holding me in his arms.

Scared - that's what he was. I scared him like he scared me. He was scared for me and it broke my heart.

We didn't really talk, we didn't have to, I was in pain and mentally I was figuring out my next move. What do I do next?

That's the question that's been haunting me lately.

I keep thinking I'm being dramatic by reacting the way I am; spacing out, having suicidal thoughts, panic episodes and nightmares. But I know it's normal. There's no written way on how someone should cope with this.

I'm really angry at my dad - that's the only emotion I feel towards him right now, he's taken everything from me and only now have I realized how bad it really was. I've known what he did to me for many years and I sugarcoated it, I thought in my head it was normal, but now as I lay here helplessly, I'm suffocating.

I was living with him, I fucking loved him and he turned out to be a monster.

After about an hour of silence, just laying with one another, Matt came into Caleb's room with a bag of McDonalds for a late breakfast, which quickly put a smile on our faces.

I refused to sit up to eat so we had our chicken nuggets together as we dangerously laid down, not caring about the obvious hazard of choking.

We talked a little bit about my options of what to do and I came to the decision to ignore it, ignore everything I told him and have come to terms with. It probably isn't the healthiest thing to do but while I'm at college, it seems like the simplest.

I told Caleb that my father was arrested but he wasn't as excited when he found out it was on another count of assault reported by someone else. He wanted me to get the justice I deserved, but after a small talk, he understood why I didn't want to tell the police.

I don't want to have to stand up in a court room or go to a police station, and then remember every little thing he did to me.

It's torture.

Yesterday went by in a flash as we watched Netflix, the whole living room filling with surround sound from the speakers as we watched reruns of friends.

Class wasn't even in my mind until Liam came by unexpected to drop off some homework for me. He could tell something was wrong, maybe it was the lack of hickey's on my neck in the presence of Caleb, but without the knowledge he soon cheered me up with a few teasing comments.

He didn't overstep though and I was grateful for the glimpse of normality, right now that's what I need - I need to get out of this bedroom and I need to go.

"Baby, no, you can't." Caleb attempts to snatch my Halloween costume from me for the second time now. I knew I shouldn't have let him pick them up and keep them here, I could've escaped and ran home to get ready myself, it would've been much easier than this.

"I aren't letting the past make me who I am, I want a break from misery and I agreed to this party almost a week ago, we're going. I want to have fun." I try to make my point clear.

What happened with my parents doesn't change me. Yeah, I may be a little fucked up in the head but that makes no difference to a normal day of what I call the life of Monica Acre.

It's just another thing to tell Sarah about when I see her on Tuesday - fuck, Tuesday.

I hate Tuesday's, always have, always will and this college experience has soon made me have more reasons to hate that god damn day.

"You was throwing up ten minutes ago." He points out as he deadpans and I groan at the obvious. He really doesn't need to point it out to me.

"I'm fine, please." I beg with pleading eyes and he shakes his head.

"You're not wearing your costume."

"Wanna bet?" I smirk and he rolls his eyes, laying back on his bed, leaning back on his arms.

~~

"I look so fucking pretty." I twirl around in a circle and he stares up at me blankly. He is not impressed that I won this bet between us, but I think he knew all along that I would win and get my own way - I always do.

"Angel." He pulls me out of my happy bubble. He's such a mood killer, what the fuck? I look beautiful tonight.

"Yeah?" Come on, sir, tell me I should change.

"You're not okay, you can't just-"

"Weren't you the one that told me to feel what I'm feeling in the moment?" I ask and he nods slowly. "Well, I'm telling you the truth when I say I'm happy and excited for tonight."

"You wanted to die two days ago." He throws the harsh information in my face.

"I promise you, I'm okay." I cup his jaw and he lets out a sigh. "I aren't leaving you, I'll never leave you."

He's who's keeping me here. Him. Just him, nothing more, nothing less. He's saving me so much.

"You scared me." He admits, "You scared me so fucking much."

"I'm sorry." I mumble.

"Quick check in." He says and I nod, stepping back as his hands settle on my hips. "Mentally, how are you feeling? And don't lie because of this party. I know when you lie so that isn't going to get you anywhere."

"I've felt... happy with being alive today, I don't want to die, not yet." I shake my head, "Maybe when I'm old and I get something, maybe cancer and-"

"Baby!" He scolds.

"What? I'm being honest." I give him a sheepish smile, "I haven't thought about my parents, I haven't thought about that sex dungeon of a restaurant and I haven't thought anything. I really am okay."

"You really won't drop that sex dungeon part, will you?"

"I really wanted to see it, Caleb!" I whine and he chuckles. I don't think we'll ever go back to that place and it annoys me every time I think about it that that's down to me.

"Let's get ready, we have a party to go to." He grumbles and I give him a surprised look. Oh, my god.

"Really?" I'm so fucking happy.

"Yes, baby." He smiles at my reaction as I do a little happy dance. "You're a sexy little cop, are you gonna arrest me?"

The first teasing comment he's spoken to me since Thursday night and I'm more than happy to hear it. I never wanted things to change between us and I hated that it did, even if it was for such a short period of time.

"Mhm." I hum with a shy giggle

When I found out about this costume party, me and Caleb both immediately came up with matching couples costumes, but none of them ever got as good as the cop and prisoner suggestion Lizzie told me one night.

Which now means I can cuff him whenever I want and people won't suspect a thing, but sadly the costume didn't come with the metal restraint and I had to get my own.

What made me want them was his little edging suggestion as we teased and taunted one another one night, that little suggestion that runs wild in my mind still to this day.

"I'm the prisoner, what if I have a weapon?" He plays along with the act and I chuckle.

"If your weapon is your dick then I'd easily let you use it on me." I tease and he raises his brows, smiling like a goofball.

"You're so cute, you think it's as harmless as my dick." He pulls me down onto his lap, bringing his lips down to my ear and then whispers, "I was going to say gun, angel."

"Oh, my god." I whimper silently, letting his words effect me.

Every book that I've ever read that involves gun play floods through my brain and as I imagine what it would be like with Caleb, my panties become damp instantly.

"What's wrong?" He pulls me out of my imagination and I look down at his lap as my hand goes between my thighs and like I thought, I'm soaking. My stupid imagination is a fucker sometimes. "What are you doing?"

"I need new underwear, can we go back to my place?" He smirks at my words. Of course he fucking smirks, he loves when I'm flustered and the fact that his words alone effected me this much is just giving him the big ego boost he obviously needs. "Lose the look, I don't wanna hear it."

"You wet, baby?" He asks, cupping my ass, moving me closer to him and only now do I feel his hardened erection, letting a gasp leave me subtly but thankfully I don't think he notices. "What were you thinking of?"

"Nothing." I mumble.

"The last thing I spoke about was a gun." He taunts and I dip my head into the crook of his neck as I start to involuntarily ride his bulge, grinding on all of him. "Do you want me to fuck you with gun, Moni?"

"Caleb, you don't have a gun." I attempt to steady my breathing but it just makes my voice shaky.

"I can get one." He says and I gulp down my dry throat. "How are you feeling? You wanna keep doing this?"

"Horny." I admit as a small moan escapes me when I nod my head.

"Do you want to use me, baby? Get yourself off?" He brings up and I shake my head, but still, I can't stop my actions.

I've told Caleb repeatedly that what happened on Thursday - what we talked about, changes nothing in our relationship, physical or otherwise.

I practically begged him not to change his attitude with me, to tell me when he's horny or flustered, I wanted him to kiss me when he sees right and tease me before we fall asleep, but it changed anyway.

He's just so delicate and careful with me, he's acting like I'm a flower and one wrong move could have me falling apart.

So hearing these words fall from his mouth have my stomach in knot and my breath caught in a choke hold. I've missed it.

I only shake my head out of shock and although my movements on him are a good enough answer, he stops and looks deep within my eyes.

"Do you want to keep going?" He stern with his question and keeps it like that, his stare not leaving me.

"I don't know, just talk to me, let me figure it out." I breathe out an unsteady breath.

"You sure?" He checks and I nod my head, "Okay, angel, keep going for me, I'll stop when you want me to."

"Hmm." I hum happily against his neck, laying a small peck there as I rock my hips on him. "Is something going to happen tonight?"

"I'm going to bring condoms just in case." He mumbles against my neck, returning the small kiss on me, leaving it on my skin softly. "But it's totally up to you, yeah? I aren't rushing you."

"I'm so fucking happy, Caleb." The truth, my truth. "You aren't rushing anything, I promise."

"You're soaking my sweatpants, baby. You're so wet." His words make my eyes look south. His grey sweatpants now darkened slightly from my core.

"Let's not stop." I shake my head, "I don't want to stop."

"Okay." He says softly.

"Talk to me." I urge as my hips buck up to him, grinding against his thigh. "I don't want to think about what we're doing."

"Are you excited to see everyone tonight?"

"Hmm." I hum in response as my breathing hitches, that feeling in the pit of my belly rising. "Leah will be worried, but I- I don't want to tell her, I don't want to tell any of them."

"You don't have to." He pushes my ass closer to him and only now does he notice my reaction of his hard-on beneath me when a loud moan leaves my mouth, the tip of him teasing my needy clit perfectly through our clothes. "This okay?"

"Yes, fuck." I nod desperately. "You're so hard, I missed it."

"Liam's coming tonight, yes?" He's doing what I asked, he's talking with me, he's taking my mind off our actions.

"He is." I say, "I think he's meeting someone there."

"Good, good."

"Yeah, it's good." A groan leaves me as my orgasm builds, traveling like a roller-coaster going up the big loop with small little jolts of pure pleasure hitting me every few seconds.

"Matt's coming, he doesn't have Elliott tonight." He tells me.

"Why not? It's Saturday." I point out the obvious.

"He told Elliott's mom that he's ill and isn't well enough to look after him." His fake ass excuse makes me groan in annoyance before a moan catches me off guard, replacing it.

"He's a dick." I mutter under my breath, shaking my head.

"He is."

"I want to uh- I want to dance and drink tonight, can I drink?" I ask him, wanting his permission more than anything.

"You don't have to ask." He nudges his nose with mine, placing a small kiss on my lips.

"I want to have sex with you though, I have to be sober, don't I?"

"Yes." He bows his head down to me as he looks down between us, "We can drink after, yeah? Let's just have fun."

"Yeah." I meet his gaze as I watch our bodies grind with one another. I never thought seeing my own actions would be so enticing to watch.

"You're soaking me, angel." He comments at the obvious.

His words, those words I missed so much. Two days, forty-eight hours of being in each others company and not one sexual comment. I missed this so fucking much.

"I'm close." I gasp out. "Like, really close, Caleb. I'm going to cum, fuck."

"That's okay, it's fine." He assures me, taking my neck and sucking on my perfect soft spot, sending shivers down my spine. "Do you want me to touch you?"

"No, no, no..." I shake my head, closing my eyes as my orgasm rips through me with no warning and I fall apart in his arms in complete ecstasy, screaming into his shoulder as I squirt my juices onto his lap.

Oh, my God.

That did not just happen, right? I didn't just orgasm from dry humping my boyfriend like a randy teenager, did I? Oh, for fuck sake, I embarrass myself everyday.

My body is electrified - that's what it is, that's what this feeling is. I'm on fire, sweating and heaving as my body moves uncontrollably with Caleb.

My eyes are squeezed shut as I relax in his arms, letting my erratic breathing subside and settle.

It almost feels like with just one touch from him or another buck of my hips, I could go again, climaxing and cumming over him for a second time.

"Fuck." Caleb joins me in bliss, gripping the sheets beneath us with his palms as he controls himself enough to not move, knowing how sensitive I am now, and a whimper escapes me suddenly when I feel his own orgasm mixes with mine.

"You good?" I check as I ask him this and he nods quickly, dipping his head into the crook of my neck.

"My beautiful angel." He mumbles against my skin.

The nickname that I will never seem to understand, yet love so much. I will forever love speaking and hearing it, but every time it slips his mouth and dances off his tongue, it takes me back as if it's the first time I hear the word - it effects me so much, more so in moments like this.

We're both angels in this fucked up world we're living in.

"Are you okay?" He asks me and I nod tiredly, pulling back.

"I'm okay." I assure him quietly in a whisper, "But I ruined your pants and uh- I can buy you some more and-"

"Shush, stop, it's okay." He cups my jaw and I sigh, kinda annoyed at the fact. "I knew you were going to make a mess the second I got you on my lap, okay? Don't worry about it."

"They're Adidas, you realize that?" I grimace, looking down at the state I've left his poor sweats in.

"Most of this you see is from me, stop worrying." He says and I frown further. I don't know if I believe him, maybe he's just trying to make me feel better. "Don't believe me?"

"No, no, I do." I rush out an unsteady breath.

"I need to get you some clean underwear from somewhere, don't I?" He chuckles and I groan before nodding my head. "Want to wear my boxers tonight?"

"Boxers with this outfit?" I look down at my black leather skirt. I'm so glad I chose this outfit to wear for this party, I feel like a bad bitch.

"Why not? You'll be comfy and no one will know, other than me of course." I will be comfy, I've been living in Caleb's boxers since dating him it seems like, but tonight I'm wearing a skirt, I don't wanna look stupid.

"Of course." I roll my eyes and he pats his hand on my ass twice before shifting in his spot.

"I need to get in the shower, there's cum leaking in places I don't want it to." He physically shivers when telling me this and I'm quick to hop of his lap, standing in front of him.

Thanks, legs! You work for once.

"Come here." He pulls me closer to him, his hands now on my hips and he quickly wipes my inner thighs down with his sleeves of his shirt, not giving a care in the world. "Better?"

"Yeah." I nod, still slightly in shock that he just did that.

I lay down and as if it was a seesaw, Caleb gets up, standing in front of me. "You need to pee, come on, don't lay down."

"No, I'm tired." I whine like a little brat. I don't wanna move, I'm comfortable here.

"How about... I take a shower and you nap?" He suggests and I raise my brows, liking that more than anything. "Yeah? Well, do as I say and come to the bathroom with me."

I know his words are spoken out of care but in this moment I simply just want to close my eyes and hope for a nightmare-less sleep. I haven't had much of that lately.

What kinda fucked up deal is this anyway? Women have to pee and take pills to stop problems from happening, and men simply just have to wear a condom and even still, sometimes they don't.

This is stupid.

~~

"Angel, everyone's here now, wake up, baby." Caleb shakes my shoulder softly and I frown in utter confusion. When the fuck did I fall asleep?

The last I remember, I was sat on the toilet, talking to Caleb through the thin plastic sheet that stopped my view as he washed his hair. But now I'm in bed and I've been to sleep?

I'm so confused. "Huh?"

"You fell asleep on the toilet when you were talking to me, come on, everyone's waiting for us." He speaks again, clearing up my thoughts. I fell asleep on the toilet... well, it's a good thing I wasn't actually doing anything.

"No!" I whine, stretching out. "Why didn't you wake me up?"

"Because you were calm; you didn't have a bad dream, you haven't slept that great since Thursday." He says and I nod slightly as he looks down at me, only now do I realize my legs are wide open for him to see. "You have no underwear on. I gave you underwear?!"

"I don't like sleeping in them, I need to breathe." I mumble a false excuse and he rolls his eyes, shaking his head at me as he picks one of my legs up in his arms. "What are you doing?"

"Putting you boxers on, is that okay with you?"

"It's fine." I throw a pillow over my face, in order to hide from him as he physically puts underwear on me. This is slightly embarrassing for my poor face to cope with.

I would blame this on him acting like I'm a delicate flower again, but this is just him, it always has been. He cares so much for me and it's crazy.

"Other leg." He mutters as if he's instructing himself of his actions.

"I'm sure it'll be much faster if I did it myself." I comment and before I can compose myself, he pulls the stretchy boxers up my thighs and over my butt, lifting me up from the bed a little before putting me back down and patting his hand on my pubic bone as if he's telling himself he did a good job.

"Come on, let's go, little baby." He holds out his hand for me and I take it quickly, sitting up from the bed.

"You look good." I take in his outfit for the first time.

He's wearing an orange jump suit with the words slut on the side where originally a prisoner number would lay and he's got the same black doc martins on as I do, them suiting him great.

His hair is pulled back in a hair tie, his stubble darkened with makeup which gives him a rugged look and he has those handcuffs hanging off one of his wrists.

He really pulls off the prisoner look.

"We're quite the pair, sexy lady." He twirls me around as I hang onto his hand and a giggle falls from me as I do.

"Come on." I stop myself, "Let's have some fun."

"Okay, wait, here." He puts something in my back pockets and I smile so much my cheeks hurt when I feel him squeeze my ass. "Look after those for me, yeah?"

"What-" I graze my pocket with my fingers and instantly I can tell by the shape that they're condoms which makes me groan. Of course, I have to be stuck carrying these all night. "You have pockets, why-"

"Because you're in control tonight, baby."

"Control?" I echo in a low tone.

"Yes." He takes a hold of my hand and I look down at ours interlocked with one another, loving the sight. "Now, we can have some fun."

I'm excited for tonight. It's basically the same people as last weekend that are coming to the party tonight, but instead of Zoe, Matt is tagging along in her place.

I was slightly disappointed to hear that Zoe didn't want to come out with us for a second time since it was such a blast last, but as she declined, she let slip that the guy she hooked up with last Saturday had asked her out on a date and I'm more than thrilled that that's how she's spending the night.

I only found out that Matt was coming when Caleb dropped the information on me earlier and although I don't know the guy very much, I can see he's a fun character and it makes me more and more excited for tonight.

Even though I am excited, the anxiety and nerves still bubble around in me like a champagne bottle that has been shook in order for it to pop the lid, I aren't having bad thoughts though and I'd take this feeling over that any day.

"Absolute idiots, I'm telling you, babe." Caleb scoffs as we walk over to the main door, where I'm soon met with everyone impatiently waiting for us as they complain and whine, hanging out of Leah's mini van - I'm guessing her dad let her borrow it again.

"Lock the door up, I'll meet you in the van." I tell him and he gives me a small nod.

Even though not all the guys are coming out with us, we are the last to leave the frat house, since everyone else is at different parties across the city.

Tonight's going to be crazy, I can already feel it.

As I approach Leah's van, I can finally take in everyone's costumes and I'm amazed with how people look.

Leah's matching with Charlie, both of them being ghosts, made out of bed sheets - I'm guessing they didn't think of anything until last minute.

Lizzie is dressed an angel, wearing a white dress and glitter halo, and James is dressed as the devil, wearing black jeans and red dress shirt, both outfits matching one another and look amazing.

Bryne is wearing a sexy witch costume, it being black and green, with a small little hat that lays at the top of her head. Matt who seems to be accompanying Bryne, yet may just be annoying her, doesn't seem to be wearing an outfit at first glance, that is until he opens his mouth and you can see his vampire fangs.

And finally my boy, Liam, who's wearing a zombie costume but instead of scary makeup, he's wearing normal, his lips dark red with lipstick and eyes dark, eye lined with black.

"Sexy cop." Liam states as he looks down my body and then up again.

I shake my head, sitting down at the backseat before looking over at him, "Good looking zombie."

"You look good." He tells me and I smile instantly.

"Budge over for me, angel." Caleb cuts my words off just in time as if it was planned and I look up at him, his voice catching my attention in an instant, making me forget what I was about to say.

"Slut." Liam reads Caleb's costume in a monotone voice and I see his smirk grow as he lets it sink in, before raising his brows and look up at Caleb. "You think you're a slut?"

"I mean..." Caleb plays along, gesturing his hands down his body as he shrugs his shoulders. "Yeah, kinda."

"My slut." I bite down on my lip as I watch him sit to my left, Liam staying on my right.

"Mhm, got that right." Caleb pulls me in his arms, bringing me closer to him and I lay my head on his chest, looking up at him.

"You two are so gross." Liam avoids us, turning his back to us and lays his head on the window.

"Don't be jealous, Liam. You'll find someone, one day." Caleb tries so hard but unfortunately not hard enough to stifle his laugh as he tries to be sympathetic.

"Fuck you." He mumbles lowly as if we don't hear him and before we can say anything else, he turns to both of us. "And, if it's any of your business, I have someone."

"Did you fuck him yet?" Caleb gets the next word in before I can and asks him the most absurd question ever. Surely not.

"I- maybe." He caves at the truth before rushing out, "But I do care about him, he seems really nice."

"Sure, sure." My boyfriend teases him, nodding slowly, not believing a word he says and I slap him on the shoulder, frowning.

"You fingered me five minutes after I learnt your name, don't judge." I still can't believe that happened. Because I know Caleb so well now, it's hard to believe how all this started. I hardly knew him and I began to fall in love right there and then.

"Five minutes?" Liam seems to be so shocked by that and honestly, I don't blame him.

"Give or take." I shrug shamelessly. I don't care how me and him started, what happened and where, I loved it so did he, that's all that matters.

"You really don't mess about, do you, Caleb?" Liam chuckles, finding amusement with this.

"She's not the patient type." He mumbles in my ear as he kisses on my neck. He always seems to kiss my neck rather than my lips when we're in public, maybe it's a shy thing, but every time he does it, it has me biting down on my lip and screwing my legs closed. "Would've gone on ten dates with her if it meant I'd have her like I did on that beach."

"Where the fuck did this man come from?" Liam asks in absolute disbelief and I giggle quietly.

"Florida." Caleb answers for me shortly before letting his lips return to my skin. I've missed this, the touches and kisses. He's kissed me a couple times since Thursday but nothing out of passion, just love and care, all I've welcomed, but I've missed it. "But the school library if we want to be specific."

"Wait, that's so cute, you met in the library." Liam sticks his bottom lips out as he hears our story.

"Fell on her knees and everything for me." He speaks for me again, this time smiling against me and I roll my eyes at what he's implying.

"Nicely done, Bingo, nothing better than to have him see you like that." Liam smiles over at me as I watch my boys converse with one another, Caleb answering for me as I breathlessly try to pull myself together, but obviously failing as he continues with his actions.

"Definitely caught my eye." He hums against me.

"Caleb, baby, you're getting me all hot and heavy, and I'm afraid that I might turn into a puddle of goo any moment now and I kinda planned on being in one piece tonight." I look up at him with a whisper.

"I'm sorry, angel." He mumbles, pulling away from me before pecking his lips just once more on heated skin.

"I love it, don't say sorry, it's just a little much when I can't fuck you right now." I tell him lowly, wanting this to be more between us too, rather than the three of us as Liam is hardly far from us.

"Okay." He smiles, laying a kiss on the top of my head.

"Hey, Eight." Lizzie turns around in her seat, popping her head over the seat. "You kidnapped Monica from us, promise we'll have her back soon."

"Eight?" He questions and I look up at him to see that same confused look as ever.

"Inches." I clear it up for him only for him glare at me, looking so annoyed with me. "I'm sorry, I lost my virginity to you, I couldn't not tell someone about it. It's rare to find someone so... equipped."

"Equipped, really?" He questions my choice of words.

"Yes." I nod, feeling pretty happy with myself and he chuckles softly, keeping me sternly in his arms, only tightening his grip further. I feel so safe with him right now, I think he knows that too.

"I promise, she'll back with you girls in no time." He goes back to talk to Lizzie and she's quick to smile, turning back in her seat.

"Hmm, I don't wanna leave you." I look up at him and he's quick to put his lips on mine before whispering in my ear.

"You're not going anywhere yet."

Liam clears his throat before asking us, "Am I just not here?"

I replied to him with a simple flip off of the middle finger and smile up at the man that has his arms around my waist, his face buried into the crook of my neck as he runs circles on my knee.

I'm so comfortable and happy right now, it makes it out to be that the past two days have been lies and I was okay all along.

Oh, how much I wish it were lies.

~~

When I heard there was a party and it was a fancy dress, thrown to celebrate the holiday Halloween, I honestly expected it to be another frat house, a few spider webs hung about and those red plastic cups littering the lawn as we approached, but this is quite the opposite.

It's not a frat house like I thought, it's a mansion - that's not me being dramatic in the slightest either.

As we enter the massive iron gates that are wide open for the public to come in and out of as they please, my mouth falls ajar, looking for anything in my vocabulary that could explain the White House sized building in front of us.

We're at a fucking mansion - me, the girl who were eating one dollar noodles with a plastic fork for breakfast this morning - is at a fucking mansion.

On the lawn there are the spider webs as I expected, but they're accompanied with what seems to be the whole Halloween collection from a holiday store.

There's around four different inflatables twice the size of me, standing tall on the front yard, along with terrifying looking decorations, from creepy clowns to wicked witches, placed around, hidden in bushes and underground, which could easily give someone a heart attack if they weren't expecting to see it.

Although the first floor of this place looks just like a normal college party, through the windows you can see differently lit colors in each of the rooms, possibly twenty or more of them all with different themes and decorations displayed within the rooms.

This is haunted house party.

"Caleb." I cling to his arms and he chuckles at my reaction of one of the zombies I just saw and fucking screamed at.

"It's fine, we're still in the van, remember?" He soothes me by rubbing his hand softly down my arm.

"Still in a van." I look to my left out of the window where I physically jump out of my skin, my body jolting in Caleb's arms and I let out another scream when I come face to face with a clown. "Caleb, fuck this, I need to go home!"

"No, no, no." He tuts. "We're here to have fun."

"I hate this so fucking much." I mutter a lie.

Of course, it's a lie, it's thrilling and I love being here, but it isn't a lie that I'm terrified.

I have never celebrated Halloween, I'm not used to this and although my faith in God and church has basically fallen from me, my mind will never be cleared of the haunted stories our pastor would tell us at Sunday school, especially about monsters and this holiday in particular.

"Are you okay?" He whispers to me and I nod quickly.

"I'm just very scared." I chuckle nervously.

"It's all fake, baby, just remember that, no one will hurt you."

"I know, I've just... I've never experienced anything like this before." I look up in awe at the mansion in front of me, it looks terrifying but so amazing at the same time. "I am excited, don't think I aren't because I really am."

"I aren't the biggest fan of clowns either, angel, don't worry about it, I know how excited you were for tonight, a clown isn't going to change that." He kisses my cheek as the van comes to a stand still.

"Guys, let's go!" Leah calls loudly down the van and everyone erupts in conversation, all of us anticipating tonight.

"You ready?" Caleb asks me as I get up from my seat.

"More than ever, let's go, angel." I grab his hand and he gives me a soft chuckle before joining me.

It's all fake.

I should've chanted that to myself as we left the van to enter the big fuck off house, but I didn't and instead I clung onto Caleb so much so that he had to pick me up and carry me like a child, so it meant that we actually moved.

"Bingo, why are you wearing men's underwear?" Liam asks, staying behind with us and Caleb groans, cupping my ass tighter as he walks me into the house.

"Liam, why are you looking?" Caleb retorts in the same tone as Liam and I giggle into his neck, hiding away from the world. I'm so much happier tonight.

Knowing Caleb wouldn't answer and because I don't wanna be rude, I answer his question. "I ruined my own so Caleb gave me his."

"Ruined? Right." Liam nods with amusement and I whine when I feel my body fall from Caleb, my two feet standing firmly on the ground shortly after.

"You okay now, little mouse?" He asks, pulling down my skirt slightly and I look around hesitantly, taking in my location before nodding. I love that my nicknames are slowly coming back, that one in particular. I missed it.

"I need a drink." I say confidently.

"Then let's get you one." He holds my hand and I smile, taking it before we walk through the house.

Like I thought, it's just like any frat party as we walk in, it's not scary in the slightest and there's the same drunk bodies, dancing around to cheap pop music, but it's just ten times bigger than any frat house I've ever seen and the furniture seems like it's come from outer space, it looking so modern.

There's a swing - not a sex swing, but a swing - hanging from the ceiling and drunk guys are physically fighting over it on who gets a turn next.

The three large couches surround the sixty inch television that is plastered on the wall in front of them and as it's all open plan, just to the left of it you can see straight out into the backyard, the whole wall being open glass windows and doors.

A pool - there's a pool and people are jumping in and out of it, laughing and singing songs to a different genre to whatever's playing inside right now.

I do want drinks though and although I'm incredibly intrigued and want to go outside, I follow everyone through to the kitchen.

Gin first, outside later.

"And, what do you want, princess?" Caleb asks me and I fight back a moan. He knows what that name does to me... it makes me wanna call him something I'm sure he doesn't want anyone else hearing tonight in this kitchen.

So, I clear my throat, trying to gather myself and smile. "Do they have apple gin?"

"I don't think they have apple, baby, but I can try and make you something sweet." He tells me and I give him a small nod.

"Thank you."

"Monica, come get here, we're taking photos." Lizzie giggles and I'm soon walking over to my friends. Leah's holding her phone up, Bryne's holding Lizzie in her arms, kissing her cheek and I quickly get beside Leah, smiling up at the camera as she takes the picture.

"I'm going to print that off and put it on our fridge." Leah beams, looking down at her phone and I chuckle lightly.

"How are you, Monica? We haven't seen you in so long." Bryne asks and I roll my eyes as she exaggerates.

"It's hardly been long, babe." I tell her.

"You missed class!" She points out, "What happened? I know you went on a date, but can he really be that good at romance which meant you had to stay together for two days?"

"Mhm." I nod with a smile, wanting to keep some things to myself... for now.

"I hate when people are in love, it's so stupid." Leah grumbles, not ashamed to show her jealously.

"You're so much like Liam, it's ridiculous." It's true. The similarities with Leah and Liam is extraordinary, especially with Lizzie too. The three L's.

"Liam's fun, I like him." Lizzie smiles over at the boys.

"He's a good guy." I turn to see Liam and Caleb making different drinks, talking with one another. "Can't believe how much has changed since I came to college."

"You went from a virgin to a vixen." Leah tells me and I hum in response. It's crazy honestly. I'm so much happier too. No matter what I was told as a child, losing my virginity and finding amazing friends was the best thing that I ever did.

"Monica, come taste this for me, please." Caleb calls me over and I flash the girls a smile, hoping they're not mad for me leaving.

I leave them with that, walking over to them and Caleb soon smiles when he catches a glimpse of me, his eyes wondering down my figure as he does.

"Is it apple?" I'm so hopeful, but sadly, it doesn't seem very green.

"No, but I think you'll like it." Caleb holds the cup out to me and I take it from his hands, putting it up to my lips.

"Strawberry?" I question as I smell it before taking a sip and a smile quickly gets plastered on my face. It's nice.

"It's cherry vodka and tonic, is it okay?" He checks with me and instantly nod, assuring him. He's good at making drinks, I'll give him that.

"I love it, thank you." I kiss his cheek and he lets out a light chuckle, wrapping his arms around me and keeping me close to him.

"Do you want to have a look around? Upstairs looks fun." He speaks closely in my ear as the music volume only increases.

"Is that your way of telling me you want sex?" I flash him a smirk as I tease him.

"Shut up, no, of course not. I just want to see the rooms, come with me, yeah?" He tries again and I give in, smiling.

"Because you asked like a gentleman." I mutter as I hook my arm with his, holding my cup firmly in my hand as we leave the kitchen.

My nerves are spiraling a little with every step we walk, I know what's upstairs, there's rooms with different scary themes, and although I aren't the biggest scared-y cat, I am a little nervous.

Caleb can tell, his grip on my arm tightens, pulling my body closer to him and I let out a shaky breath as we reach the top of the stairs, the hallway dark and only lit from the open door rooms.

The room we're outside of is deep red and inside sits a dummy dressed up in a terrifying devil costume. Creepy music is played lowly from a small speaker in the corner of the room and smoke from the machine in the hallway leaks into the room with us.

"It's weird that the devil was once the thing I feared most in my life." I mumble, eyeing the dummy in the room.

"Who do you fear most now?" Caleb asks me, coming in behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. He's been very close and touchy with me since we left the frat, it's like he doesn't want me out of his grip.

"Myself." I turn around and look up at him. "Is that weird?"

"You fear yourself?" He frowns in utter confusion, his eyes flickering over my features as he does.

"Mhm, it scares me what my body and thoughts could do." I sigh, "My heart and mind never get a say in what they decide sometimes, it scares me."

"What does your heart want to decide?" He asks.

"To stay and love those around you, my mind wants that too." I say, "My thoughts just seem to overtake that sometimes."

"Those thoughts will leave one day, you know that, angel?" He cups my jaw and I nod weakly, looking down. I'm so ashamed of myself of how I acted the other night and now I'm out here, having fun, it just makes that feeling increase.

"Haven't had them in a while, like since Friday morning." I tell him, "That's good, right?"

"Really good." He smiles, looking unbelievably proud of me.

"Come on, I saw a green room somewhere, it looks cool." I take a hold of his arm once more, taking a quick sip of my drink.

"Green?" He questions.

"Green." I confirm with a nod.

"I don't see a green room." He says and he's right, there is no green light shining down the hallway we're now stood in, but there is a few rooms that have there doors closed.

"Maybe it's that one." I point to the closed door down the hall.

"Baby, be careful, please." He says as we approach it.

"The worse that could happen is that a clown is behind this door and I highly doubt that will be up here." I tell him, pulling down the door handle.

"For fuck's sake." He curses under his breath.

"Come on, live a..." I cut my own words off as I stare at the open room in front of us. "... little."

It's not a Halloween room, but my god, it's green.

The walls are dark green, the bed being black, a wall full off storage is black, dresser and cabinets towered on just that one wall, and it's lit green by the LED lights up on the ceiling.

There's a swing, this time it is a sex one and there's a green leather couch, different whips and toys hung off the side of it.

This is a sex room.

"Caleb." I bite down on my lip as I turn to him, his face drained of color as he stares at the room behind me.

"Monica." He joins my same tone as he looks down at me.

"Wanna have a look around with me?" I ask.

"This isn't one of the scary rooms." He tells me.

"Oh, I don't know, I think we could find the devil somewhere." I smirk, pulling on his arm as I back up into the room.

"What are you doing?"

"Having fun." I turn from him, looking around the room. "Wanna have some fun with me?"

I have no idea what I'm thinking, this room isn't for us and I won't lie when I say my overthinking is picking up on that, but I want to live tonight and this vodka is only making me want that more.

"Are you-"

"Why don't I have one of these rooms?" I ask myself, cutting his questions off as I open one of the drawers on the black wall, it revealing twenty or so whips.

"Monica, you're crazy." He says and I nod, threading the leather whip through my hand as I pick it up. Leather is so beautiful, it feels amazing and it gives off the best sound. "What are you doing?"

"Want to try it out?" I hold it out to him and he hesitates, looking down at the black whip in my hand.

"I can't do that to you, you're-"

"I want some pain, can you give me that, please?"

"Baby." He murmurs as he shakes his head.

"Caleb, don't hold back now, I know you want to, so please do what you want and hurt me." I urge and he finally takes it from my hand.

"You're in trouble, Moni, you know that?" He holds his hand firmly on my neck, tightening his grip around my throat so a weak moan leaves my mouth. "I can't take it back if I do this."

"Mhm." I nod, "Do it, please."

"Be a good girl for me then and lay over the couch." He instructs, letting my neck go and I let out a shaky breath.

What the fuck am I thinking? Like honestly, where did I really think this was gonna go?

I thought a few teasing words would have him be so pissed that he'd slam me up against a wall, tease me until I can't go no more and then fuck me up against the window for everyone to see.

I didn't actually think he'd say yes to doing this.

So here I am with weak legs and Caleb following me as I walk over to the green leather couch slowly, my mind in fucking euphoria at what's about to happen.

It isn't until I feel my knees hit the side of the couch when I know I'm finally where I need to be and I bend over the arm, my ass out for him like he wants.

"You were right." He speaks in a low tone as he raises my skirt. "You found the devil."

"I found the devil." I murmur under my breath.

"Do you know what the devil does to sinners, angel?" He asks me.

He fucking punishes them...

"Do you not know?" I ignored his question, didn't I? "Looks like I'm going to have to show you then, hmm, good girl?"

"I am more of a visual learner, yes." I nod and he chuckles, dropping his act slightly at my stupid ass comment.

"Always have been." He traces the leather whip over my ass in small circles and goosebumps rise to my skin instantly. "Two, that's it, that's all you get, okay?"

"Mhm." I nod again.

"Always such an angel for me." He whispers before pulling the whip from me and I don't think I could ever prepare myself for the pain that shoots through me when it hits me at full force.

The knot in my belly rises instantly, making me screw my legs shut and my arms buck beneath me as I fall forward on the couch.

I didn't expect that.

"Fuck." I moan out, swinging my head back, trying to compose myself.

"You good?" He holds his hand over where he just hit, rubbing it softly so it eases the sting and I nod quickly.

"Again." I beg. I need to feel it again, it's too much.

"You sure?"

"Caleb, fuck, please." I'm desperate, but I don't care, I need it.

"My little vixen, look at you." I hear it this time, I hear the whip in the air before it hits me and the cry that leaves me when it does becomes muffled by my arm.

"God." I scream out, fisting the leather beneath me.

"Sight for sore eyes." He pulls the whip from me and he rubs his hand over my harshly sensitive skin, calming me down.

"Again, please." I cry and he tuts in my ear.

"No, no, no, we have all night for fun, I aren't going to have you cumming for me now." He pulls me by hair, my head going back for him to see my face. "You gonna keep those underwear dry for me, princess?"

"I can't, I haven't-" I stumble over my words. He has to be joking if he thinks I aren't soaking right now.

"Come on, let's get out of here, I want to get a drink." He lets my hair out of his grip, picking me up by the waist, pulling me off the couch and settling my feet on the ground. "Can you walk?"

"Fuck off." I tell him and he smirks when I stumble back slightly. "Yes, I can walk."

I asked for this, I asked him to hurt me and with my pain kink, it's almost positive that I was going to get turned on, so I can't exactly be mad at him for it doing so, yet I didn't quite expect to be left so frustrated and wound up.

"You asked me to hurt you, baby, don't take your frustration out on me." Caleb continues to taunt me as we walk downstairs, leaving the rooms upstairs.

"I thought you were..." I trail off silently.

"You thought what?" He picks me up on my words and I sigh.

"I though you were going to at least help me out a little, you know what pain does to me."

"I do." He smiles like a smug prick and I frown up at him. He's annoying. "I'm going to fuck you later, baby, I promise."

"I don't fuck with your promises." I scoff.

"Let's get some vodka and have fun, I'll fuck you hard later, okay?" He squeezes my hand and I nod, pursing my lips. Such filthy words that fall from his mouth but still it's spoken with a tone that's so innocent.

What we just did in that green room hasn't sunk in and hit me yet. I don't think I can believe it, it feels like a really, really good dream.

I found a sex room, I snooped in drawers I probably shouldn't have, Caleb told me to bend over a couch and I got hit, not once but twice, sending me into complete ecstasy.

That actually happened.

I honestly expected to see someone we knew to be in the kitchen when we got back, but there isn't, there's just a couple that are making out in the corner, caught up in pleasure and haven't the slightest idea that we just entered the room.

I expected it to be much busier, especially with how many that are here tonight. I guess there's just more alcohol for us.

"Where is everyone?" I speak my thoughts as I look around the open space. It's odd, I don't like it when it's quiet.

"Outside." Caleb's on his tiptoes as he looks outside the window, just above the kitchen counter tops. "Liam's half naked."

"Oh, for fuck sake." Of course, he is. He always seems to be naked when vodka is involved. Maybe it a Saturday thing...

"Join them, I'll bring the drinks out for us." He tells me and I look over at him surprised. "I'll be watching, don't worry. Make sure Liam's okay, he looks a little wobbly."

"You sure?" I check again. I don't exactly love leaving him, especially right now, I like being by his side, it's more comforting to me. The world right now seems so scary and so open. I like being close.

"Go." He urges and I giggle, walking away from him.

Like Caleb said, Liam was half naked, in just his boxers that were soaked from him jumping in and out of the pool like a child. I don't think he cared that they were white and definitely see-through, he looks happier than I've ever seen him before.

My girls were spread about over the yard, doing their own thing with the guys they brought and Matt seems to be preoccupied with a girl, who is definitely having sex with him on one of the outdoor couches right now.

Leah's with Charlie beside the pool, they're dipping their feet in and talking with one another, Lizzie is with James and they're making out, groping each other near a tree, and Bryne, well she's laid down on the grass, staring up at the stars and a frown instantly finds my face.

She doesn't look very happy.

"Are you okay, babes?" I lay down beside her and I'm met with a tired shake of the head.

The second she speaks, I know she's drunk, "Vodka reminded me of Jake and now I wanna die."

"How much have you had to drink?" It's the slur in her words that make me worry.

"A few shots, maybe a can of this... um, strawberry thing." She shrugs and I frown, sitting up so I can see her.

"I have an idea, babe. Why don't you get some water, sober up and get over that dickhead? There's some really cute guys here tonight... and girls, have fun." My words somehow make her mood lift extremely, a smile growing up on her face.

"I could do that." She nods, joining me in sitting up. "I haven't had sex with a girl before and I've always wanted to."

"Water first though, okay? You can consent like this, you need to sober up." I don't want tonight turning into something she regrets.

"I'll get a bottle now."

"Okay." She leaves me be with that and I'm soon sat alone, watching her walk into the house, a stumble in her step as she does.

My crazy little friend, I love her so much.

I've always had a strong connection with Bryne from the first day I met her, Lizzie and Leah were definitely harder eggs to crack, so although I love them all equally, Bryne will always be my little side kick and the one I first look for if anything's wrong.

It has broken my heart this past week, seeing her go through so much pain with this breakup with Jake. They were childhood sweethearts, she can't just let that go overnight, but I do hope she takes my advice and finds someone tonight, she deserves some fun.

"Monica Bing!" My other crazy friend, Liam comes running up to me and I look up at him with a disapproving shake of a head.

"I can see your dick, Liam." I tell him and he looks down with a shrug. "Having a good time?"

"I am." He nods, "Vodka is starting to hit me now though, kinda feel weird."

"Get some water, Bryne's in there now doing the same, I'm sure you'll feel better after a drink."

"I might." He lets out a sigh, his eyes searching me as he does. "Missed you in class, what's been up?"

"Mental health is shit again." I admit. There's no point lying about it. I don't want to lie about how I feel anymore, I can't put myself through lies again.

"You okay though? I aren't losing you yet, am I?" I don't think he's as serious with his words as much as they are for me. I can't believe he almost lost me... I almost lost my Liam.

"I wasn't okay, but tonight I'm feeling better." I nod, thinking about my words before I tell him. This is my truth. "Thursday was a lot, everything became too much, but I aren't leaving you."

"What do you mean by close call? What happened Thursday?"

"It's fine." I shake my head. None of this is fine, I know that, but I can't speak to him about this right this second while we're here at this party. "I don't wanna get heavy tonight, I'm honestly really happy here and you're drunk, Liam, you won't remember this tomorrow even if you wanted to."

"Tell me on Monday, please. I want to know, I worry about you, you know?"

"I know and I am sorry." I don't think I need to apologize but like always, I feel like I should. I could've hurt so many people without even realizing, that pains me.

"Hello, people." Caleb walks over to us with a smile and his eyes quickly flash down to Liam. "We can see your dick, are you aware?"

"It's not my fault, who knew white boxers were so see-through?" He groans, looking down at his crotch and I let out a laugh, following his gaze.

"Literally everyone." I pat his back and he looks back at me, frowning.

"Angel, I'm going to sit on the trampoline and drink, you coming?" Caleb asks me and I hesitate before nodding. I'm confused...

I don't know why he's chosen a trampoline of all places for us to sit and get drunk, but I aren't complaining, they're comfortable and I aren't exactly loving it down here on the grass.

"Yeah, I'm coming. Liam, are you okay here on your own?" I have to ask as I watch my friend stumble to his feet, getting up from the ground.

I hate seeing drunk people and I honestly hate being around them too, it makes me feel anxious and nervous for what could go wrong - they have no control of themselves and that's terrifying.

Those worries never seem to consume me when I'm the one getting drunk and stumbling all over the place as I attempt to walk, I actually am quite the fan of being intoxicated, it's just not fun seeing your loved ones looking so lost and abnormal.

That's me being hypocritical though.

"I got the vodka." Caleb sings happily, holding the bottle out to me and I bite down on my lip as I read out that it's indeed the cherry I liked from earlier.

"Why a trampoline?" I question, watching the grass darken beneath us as we walk more and more out of the light from people.

"There's no where else for us to sit and the grass isn't comfortable, especially on your ass right now." The smirk he wears after saying that is enough for me to groan in annoyance.

"Wow, thanks, babe." I gush sarcastically and he hooks his arm in mine, guiding me towards our circled off the ground seat of choice for this evening.

I look over to him, seeing him in thought as we walk and just as I'm about pick up on it, he speaks. "You know I wouldn't hurt you without your consent, right?"

"What do you mean? Of course I know that, you wouldn't do that to me." I shake off the idea immediately.

"I just kinda hate myself about everything, I don't know." He mumbles and I'm soon stopping him in our track, holding onto his arm.

I hate when he's stuck inside his head, these are the thoughts that come from that. I just wanna tell him everything that's getting spoken in his mind are false.

"Baby, talk to me, tell me what's going on in your mind right now, because nothing will get fixed or changed if you don't." I urge with a deep sigh at the latter.

"I got hard when I hurt you, and I- uh, I never wanted to feel like that, I know you like pain but I just... I just hate myself because I liked it."

"There's nothing wrong with that." I tell him, cupping his jaw, making it so he stays looking at me. "That's a pretty valid reaction, angel. Please don't worry about it."

"You're not mad at me?"

"Why would I ever be mad at you? Pain is a sexual thing for me, if seeing me like that turns you on, it makes me nothing but happy." I say, "You didn't get hard when I fell in the library, I was hurt then, there's differences, baby."

"That moment in the library seems so long ago." He mutters to himself mainly and then smiles. "My life changed that day."

"Oh, yeah?" I smile back, tracing my hands around the metal of the outline of the trampoline. I stopped us at the right place, we're here now.

"Mhm." He nods.

"Now, come on, stop worrying and bounce with me." I'm soon leaving his side, giggling like a little kid and climbing onto the trampoline in front of me.

"In these boots? No, but you can bounce me, I'm laying down."

"We're wearing the same boots, you're just boring." I tell him as he joins me on the trampoline, laying down like he said and I jump up and down, making him move.

He can be a pain sometimes, especially like now when he lays still, looking up at me with an amused look painting his face as I attempt to move his body by bouncing, but he's right, these boots really aren't the safest option to be wearing on a trampoline as two grown adults.

But I don't care, I continue bouncing and the giggles that fall me are full of happiness. My mood has shifted so much since Thursday, or even just this morning. I needed this, I need the normality.

I don't think I could ever comprehend what happens next; Caleb catches me off guard, grabbing a hold of my foot, making me fall to the ground - he's lucky that the trampoline is soft and didn't hurt my back because I'd be kicking him in the nuts right now, but instead, I'm lying don in defeat beside him, pouting my lips.

"You ruined my boxers." He scowls, looking down between my legs and I quickly shut them, scowling up at him.

"What the fuck did you expect?" I sit up with a groan. Honestly, I'm shocked I haven't took him to the bathroom with me yet so we could fix my little problem and he could fuck the frustration out of me. He should be proud.

"For you to listen like a good girl, that's what I expected." He says and I roll my eyes, grabbing the bottle from him.

"Tell my vagina that." I screw the lip of quickly before taking a sip of the liquid and I smile at the burning sensation I have come to love when it coats my throat.

"Is it good?" I forgot he hadn't tried it yet. He just got a normal vodka and soda which he finished clean within a minute when we were in the kitchen. It seems like that's all he's having tonight though.

"Amazing, here." I pass him the bottle back. I don't really want to drink much more. I'm a light weight... and I plan on doing a little more than kissing my boyfriend tonight.

"Don't drink too much, okay?" He checks, taking the bottle from my hands.

"I'm not going to, don't worry." I watch closely as he takes about two shots worth of vodka and swallows it all without a reaction. How?

"Hmm." He screws the cap back on, laying it between us as we settle, my head lay beside his on the trampoline. "You look so beautiful tonight, fuck."

His eyes begin to wander my body, making my cheeks blush and I hide my face. It's crazy how he can affect me so much with so little. I really expected that to fade for me, but nope, he can make me as shy as nervous as he did the first day we met.

"Driving me crazy, Moni." He speaks so quietly, taking me in as his. "I haven't had you in so long, fuck, I need you."

"You horny, pretty boy?" I play with him and he raises his brows, mainly in surprise before relaxing, nodding his head. "You can have me soon, hmm?"

"How soon?" My desperate little sinner...

"I wanna stay in this moment with you for a little bit longer, but I need you too." I stroke his cheek with my thumb, cupping his jaw in my hand. "Pain does something to me, it effects me in ways I can't quite believe and I don't think I could ever comprehend it."

"That's okay though, you know? I think kinks and fetishes are fun because they're mysterious, there's never a valid reason behind them because there doesn't need to be. It's actually quite neat if you think about it."

"I guess." I mumble, that shyness coming back for me slightly. "You said you need me, how do you need me?"

"Baby." He deadpans with a pout. I aren't giving into his sweet face, I want to hear it. "I need you."

"Over pronunciation of a word won't change my confused mind unfortunately." I shrug my shoulders to piss him off further. I love teasing him like this.

"Come here." He gestures those same fingers he uses on me, making me come closer, if that's even possible with how we're laid right now. He then brings his mouth down to my ear before whispering, "I want you on me, beneath me, beside me, whichever way I can have my dick buried deep inside you, got it?"

I pull back from him, giving him a sheepish smile as I try to compose myself. He really just said that, didn't he? "Mhm, but you still haven't answered my question, angel. How do you need me? What do you want to do to me? What do you want me to do?"

"I can fuck you however you want, I just want you, baby." He kisses on my neck, placing short pecks there before finding my sweet spot and sucking on the skin just before my ear.

"No." I moan out, his words not being enough for me. "I want you to do it your way, how do you want to do it?"

He lets out a frustrated groan, pulling away to look at me and I take in his dilated eyes. "I want to take you on here and get you screaming for everyone to hear, but we both know we can't do that."

"I have an idea." My mind honestly should stop with ideas because at this point they all end badly. "I'm gonna get you off here, okay? And then, if you're good and quiet for me, you can fuck me however you want. Those things you listed, you can do all, yeah? You gotta be quiet for me though."

"You sure?" His instance of checking with me honestly warms my heart, he seems shocked with my suggestion as well. I smile in response, nodding my head before looking down where I find my hands unzipping his jumpsuit. "I'll be quiet, I'll be quiet."

"Good boy." I praise him just like he does me and the effect I have on him is evident as I see his dick hardens in front of me. "Such a good boy, so hard for me already, hmm?"

"For you, baby, just for you." He watches me with shaky breaths, staring down at my hands as I graze his boxers teasingly. "Fuck."

"Shh, shh, shh." I whisper to him in his ear before kissing his neck softly. "Love when you beg for me, pretty boy, but I need you quiet."

"Touch me, please touch me." I hear him whimper in my ear, his hand coming up behind my neck as I slide my fingers under his waist band. He holds onto me and only strengthens his grip as I take ahold of him, sliding him into my hand. "God."

Feeling him again, seeing him, maybe just slightly, is enough for my body to react in an instant. I'm throbbing for him, my body needing him more than I ever could think it'd ever need.

As much as it would embarrass me to have sex on this trampoline right now with everyone out there - the strangers and my friends, being in front of them moaning and screaming his name, letting the whole world know he's mine - the idea does intrigue me.

Maybe Caleb has the right idea with having sex in public, it really does sound thrilling and it's what I want right now, it's what I crave.

But like Caleb has said, I wouldn't be able to, my embarrassing state and self conscious thoughts would instantly take over that need and want for pleasure.

I would do it, I've said that, but it just wouldn't be in front of my friends. An orgy sounds more like my setting of choice and although he may think I'd be doing it all for him, it does fascinate me more than I let on.

I think deep down, seeing anything pleasure him and get him off the way that something like pain does to me, would be worth all the embarrassment in the world.

"No holding back, let go when you want, okay? I want you to cum quick." I run my thumb over his tip, collecting the pre-cum I've teased out of him already just by my words.

"Mhm, fuck, promise." He speaks through his moans, lolling his head back as I start to pump his shaft slowly, easing him into the overwhelming pleasure.

As much as I would love to have him cumming in seconds, I want this moment with him to last that little bit longer.

"My little submissive, so good for me, yeah?" I taunt and he's instantly nodding his head, screwing his eyes shut. "Want me to go faster? Tell me what you want."

"Faster, yes, faster." He pulls himself in closer to me, his hand still securely behind my neck as he hides in my chest. "You feel so good, fuck, I can't cope."

"Love seeing you like this." I feel the need to tell him that. He's so fucking beautiful right now and he has my heart racing at the sight. I'm falling in love with him all over again.

"Shit, shit, shit." He curses in chain, bucking his hips up to me, wanting more from me and I moan out with him, feeling his nails dig into my ass as he's squeezes my ass so tightly there's bound to be a handprint there tomorrow.

"Shush, baby." I whisper to him, silencing him once again as I take in our surroundings. "You wouldn't want people to know we're doing this right now, would you? They'll start watching if you don't be quiet."

"Moni, stop teasing." He lets out a shaky breath, fighting back yet another moan.

I decide to switch the attitude round, giving him some power back when I taunt in his ear. "Gonna fuck me hard later? Gonna make me beg?"

"Mhm, gonna fuck you so hard, baby, gonna make you mine again." I'm so thankful to hear those words. I don't think I can handle soft and slow after all the teasing we've done today.

I rode his thigh to the point where I was literally cumming all over him, he continued to kiss on my neck on the drive here which made me melt into my seat, he caused me pain with a whip we found in a fucking sex room and now here we are, I'm making him fuck my hand and I'm trying to be as selfless as possible as we do, screwing my legs shut tightly to relieve some of the tension.

"Want you to make me shake, I'll cum around your cock so hard, yeah? You gonna make that happen? Does daddy want that?" I tease my words out for him as I speak the truth.

"Angel, stop with the words, you're gonna make me cum. Fuck, I'm so close, I'm so close, baby." And there it is... my needy boy.

"That's what I want though." I fake a sulk, pouting my lips as I only tighten my grip on him further, circling his tip slowly as he continues buck his hips up to me.

"Oh, my god." He moans out loudly and I quickly look around us, being very aware of how loud he's becoming, only then do I spot Bryne walking up to the trampoline from the bottom of the garden.

Looks like I'm about to find out how much this kink of his effects him in full force. Neither of us want to stop, I'm increasing the speed of my movements on him and he's meeting that rhythm, his body thrusting to meet my hand.

I want to make him finish before Bryne reaches us.

"Bryne's going to be here in about ten seconds, baby." And now it's my time to countdown.

"Fuck." He jolts beneath me, his shoes digging into the trampoline as he tries to contain himself. He's doing the opposite of what I ask; he's holding back.

"You're going to get caught, angel." I sing and he lets out a weak whimper, crying out against my neck. "Come on, angel, cum for me."

"Hmm, so close, fuck, oh my god, go faster." He chokes out and I listen to him, increasing the speed of my hand on him and he meets every movement.

"Five." I begin to count out loud, looking up to see her closer this time but thankfully not close enough.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." He strings out his curses, shaking his head.

"Four. Come on, I know you can do it, cum for me, baby." I urge more than anything. "Be a good boy. Three."

"Moni, fuck, Moni." He lets out a struggled moan, clinging to my neck once more as he finally lets go, reaching the climax I wanted most for him. "Pull away, she's going to see, she's going to see."

"You're so good for me, look at you." I praise him, ignoring his comment and he dips his head into the crook of my neck, thrusting his hips up to me as he finishes his orgasm off, cum leaking over my hand as he does.

It's when I finally let him free, pulling away fully, when I hear the sigh of relief leave him and he lays completely in my arms.

Unfortunately it's not for long because within seconds, I'm sitting up and smiling at a much happier Bryne. "Look at that, saved by the bell. You okay, B?"

"Hey, guys..." Bryne trails off as she looks down at Caleb and then at me. She frowns, probably in confusion. "Is he okay?"

"No, but is he ever?" He slaps my ass when I say this and I bite down on my lip, masking a moan that wants to slip my mouth. I'm still not over what happened in that green room and neither is my ass, so with just the smallest amounts of touch or feel to it, it sends shock waves through my system.

"Is everything okay?" She hesitates in asking this, her eyes flicking between us both and I chuckle lightly.

"Better than ever." I tell her, "You sound more sober, did you get laid yet?"

"Nope, but I made out with someone though." Asking her if she has hooked up yet was dumb, it's only been ten minutes and I'm sure if it was a girl she found, I wouldn't be seeing her in a long time. I am surprised and relieved too to know she's found someone and has made out with them. She looks happy - the happiest I've seen in a while.

I smile at her words, wanting to know more, "Come on, spill, I wanna know who."

"This person called Nicki, they're non binary and super nice." She tells me with the biggest smile on her face and I nod. "I don't know, they make me happy so I'm just going to see how it goes."

"Well, I'm happy for you, B. You better be safe though, okay?" I tell her and she hums in response, her eyes fall down at Caleb again, so I follow them and I see he's curled in a ball, hiding whatever mess he'd made and his head is now laid in my lap, his hair somewhat falling free of his hair tie.

"Are you sure he's okay? What's up with him?" She's persistent on asking and there's no way to really tell her what we just did without the truth.

"I made him cum with my words so now he's sulking about it." It's not all of the truth, but it's enough for her worries to fade and instead she smirks.

"He-"

"Babe! Seriously?!" Okay, I could've kept some details to myself, I realize that now. Oops. "You need to learn when you should use that mouth of yours."

Dirty thoughts fill my mind at his words and in reaction I flash him a look only he can read, meanwhile Bryne is somewhat freaking out. "Did I really stop you? Oh my god, I did. Oh, fuck, I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it, you didn't stop anything." I rake my fingers through Caleb's hair. With it already being messy, I hardly doubt it could be harmful to make it even messier. "Do you want some vodka? It's really nice."

"I'm gonna stick to water for now." She tells me and I roll my eyes at my own stupidity. Of course. "I really like Nicki and I wanna have some fun with them tonight."

"Well, go. Go have some fun, don't be scared." It isn't like Bryne to be shy, but I can see it, she's nervous.

"I'm not scared." She lies, following a shaky chuckle, that proves her words to be as false as I thought.

"Then why are you here instead of being in bed with them?"

"Alright fine, I'm going back, they're getting us drinks as we speak, so..." She trails off and I smile, more than excited for her. "I'm sorry for walking in on your little moment, Caleb."

"Hmm, it's fine." He mumbles against my thigh, his head still laid there for me as I stroke through his hair.

"We're all gonna be playing a game of truth or dare inside, it's gonna start in like five minutes, so if you wanna join there's always that." That's the last she speaks of before leaving us, giving us both a little wave.

I haven't played truth or dare before, I mean, I've only been to two frat parties before, the first being incredibly busy and filled with drunk people, this one being quite the same, I want to play, I think it'd be fun.

What could really go wrong in a game of truth or dare though?

"Angel, I'm a mess." He looks up at me and I cup his jaw, watching his eyes closed shut. "You've really made me cum in my pants twice today."

"You just love my words so much, don't you?" I love this, I love teasing him.

"Mhm, love..." He trails off, looking down before groaning.

"Hey, stop worrying about that. It'll be okay, you can go to the bathroom in a minute and get cleaned up. It's just your boxers that are fucked, right?"

"For now, yeah."

"Okay, then. Just take them off when you get to the bathroom and put them in your pocket. You'll be alright doing it commando under that thing for the rest of the night."

"You sure?" He questions.

"Yeah, just try not to get hard again because you will not be able to hide that in the slightest with this costume on." Honestly, I don't know if it would be safe for him to go commando tonight. That yellow is awfully thin.

"I feel gross." He sits up and grimaces, looking down and then back at me. "It was worth it though, you're fucking amazing, darling."

"Go on, go to the bathroom, don't be uncomfortable." I tell him, "I'm going to check out this game of truth or dare, okay?"

He gives me a smile and a small nod before we make our own way off the trampoline, me getting off first and then taking his hand as he follows.

The breeze that was once around us alters when we walk back inside and like Bryne said, there is a truth or dare game getting set up in the living room and have now thirty or so people gathered on the couches, talking amongst themselves as they wait for it to start.

I don't want to leave Caleb, especially after what we just did but unfortunately I have to, so I give him a few kisses and leave him with that.

He goes through to the bathroom and before going into the living room, I go into the kitchen to wash my hands and get myself some water.

My anxiety is never good around new people and with it being bad lately it's kinda spiraling as I walk into the crowded living room with shaky hands - clean hands at least.

I can't find my friends as much as I try looking for them, so I decide to stand in the corner, wanting to be away from everyone as I try to distract myself out of another anxiety splutter.

I look down at my nails - the nails Caleb painted for me while I napped yesterday and the view instantly takes me back to the moment where I woke and cried my heart out at such an act. More tears seemed to spill from my eyes when I saw that he did is own and we were matching.

Both of us are still wearing the bright purple color and black middle fingers as we speak, and the thought of it coming off stops me from biting my nails and I mentally scold myself.

I want these nails to last; Caleb did them when I was at my lowest, they mean something to me now more than ever.

"Hey, babe. You okay? You're spacing out a little." Liam pulls me from my thoughts and I look up at with a smile - he's wearing clothes now, that's good!

"I'm okay, just nervous around people." I admit in a low mumble and he takes my hand in his, squeezing it to assure me.

"You're okay, you hear me? Come on, I'll get us someplace to sit. Caleb's joining right?" He asks me as instant relief washes over me. Fuck, I love this boy.

"Yeah, he's coming, he's just getting cleaned up." I don't think before I speak and the face of shock I'm met with as he raises his brows. "Oh, shush."

"Did I speak?" He looks around, stating the obvious. "So? Are you going to tell me why he needs cleaning up? Or are you gonna keep acting oblivious?"

"I like being oblivious. Now find us somewhere to sit, you just want details from me and that's not gonna happen stood up here."

"And us being sat down on a comfy couch will get me those details?" He asks with a smirk.

"Maybe." I tease - I am most definitely not telling him I just gave my boyfriend a hand job on the trampoline, especially now he's holding that same hand. Jesus.

I don't think he helped my nerves when he literally made people physically move from the only couch that wasn't fully taken and I'm honestly surprised we didn't get a drink thrown at us when we sat down on the leather couch, Liam smiling at me like a dog on crack.

"So..." He gestures me to 'spill the tea' as he would call it. "Come on, tell me, babe. If you're gonna do shit without me, you gotta spill."

So my first thought of privacy leaves the second I open my mouth and I go back on my word. "I got him off because I wanted to play with his kinks, okay? It's nice out there."

"On a trampoline, really?" He doesn't judge, but he definitely questions. "You better have washed your hands, I swear."

"Babe." I deadpan and he hums for me to go on, "Of course, I did."

It isn't long until Caleb joins us and the game starts to play, but not like any normal guy who would want the girl to sit on his lap, he sat on mine and I couldn't stop giggling when I hooked my arms around his hips.

Caleb is one confused little guy but I love him so much that I would do anything for him, even if it means him sitting on my lap like I would him.

"Comfy?" Caleb looks back at me to ask and I shake my head with a laugh. I'm not comfy, I don't think anyone would be, but I don't want this to stop. "Want me to move?"

"Do you want to?" I retort with another question because honestly I like him like this. It's nice seeing him more comfortable in himself around other people.

"Your fake gun is kinda digging into my ass and it's turning me on, so maybe a little, yeah." He whispers to me and I quickly nod, letting him shift off me.

With Caleb beside me, Liam on the other to my left, I'm yet again placed in the middle of the terrible two as we start to listen to everyone's confessions and watch the dares play out in front of us.

Usually in any normal game of truth or dare there has about four to ten participants so with a group of almost forty now playing, it is taking much longer than most games.

But it soon becomes my go and I smile when I notice Lizzie's started to play and she's the one who's asking me the question.

"Hello, Monica." She plays on my name with a smile. "Truth or dare."

I certainly don't trust Lizzie's truth questions, so I go with the next best option and shrug, "Dare."

"Hmm, let's see. I know! Kiss the person to your left." She dares me and I quickly look to the side of me, seeing Liam's head shaking with a laugh.

"Seriously?" He looks to Lizzie but she doesn't have the time to reply, when I cup Liam's jaw, bringing him down closer to me.

"Be good, yeah? Caleb's watching." I tell him this before leaning into him, connecting my lips with his.

It's hardly passionate, there's people watching and I'm not stupid, I know Caleb's next to me, his hand now on my thigh.

Kissing him, reminds me just how much I've missed it and guilt eats at me for that, so I pull away, opening my eyes to see his on mine.

"Easy." I whisper, staying in his embrace for just two more seconds before pulling back and I lay in Caleb's arms, wanting him close.

I think he notices, Caleb always notices my change in mood it seems like, so when he dips his head down and whispers in my ear, I'm not surprised. "You did so good, baby. Don't be overthinking, okay?"

I was the next person to question those who play and thankfully it landed on James; a person I know, and when I had thought of a dare, I smile and told him to act out his favorite sex position with the hottest girl here.

He of course picked Lizzie which didn't surprise anyone, especially me. I don't know what's happening with them two, but they seem to be hitting off.

It didn't seem to take long before we were seeing them both on the floor, pretending to fuck in the doggy position - simple, yet one of my favorites too.

It took a few turns before it came down to Caleb and he looked pretty uncomfortable next to me, shifting in his seat away from me when he saw who was asking the next question.

Does he know her?

"Hello again, Caleb." She teases him name of her tongue and I'm instantly hit with jealousy - she knows him like I know him.

"Hi, Natalia." It's when Caleb sighs her name when I'm hit with the conversation of his first time. This is the girl.

"Nice to see you again. Truth or dare." She doesn't look like it's nice to see him again. She looks angry? I'm so confused.

"Truth." Caleb doesn't hesitate with his answer and we all await for her next question.

I don't think anyone could be prepared, especially myself for the next words we all hear. "Is it true that you used me like a fucking wash cloth and threw me away after a minute because I wasn't better than a razor?"

My heart has fucking stopped, I swear.

"No." He shakes his head. "It's not true, you knew what you was getting yourself into, you knew what we were doing, don't blame me because you regretted it."

"Wait, so I am better than slitting your wrists? Well, isn't that great." She chuckles dryly. "You just couldn't wait for me to leave, could you?"

"You're just embarrassing yourself, you do realize that?" He doesn't answer her question and points out the obvious instead. I don't know what this girls problem is, but I don't like how she's treating my boyfriend.

"I don't know, all eyes are on your arms, Caleb, look around." She's right, everyone's eyes are on him and on his arms like they can fucking see through the fabric.

"I don't care." He shrugs a lie. He cares and I know that, when the guys walked in on us at the frat and the thought of them maybe seeing his arms was so terrifying to him that he almost cried. He cares and I know he's just trying to be tough with whoever this girl is in front of us.

"Want to show everyone then? Want to show everyone what you left me for?" What the actual fuck?

"It was a hookup, not a relationship, I didn't leave you for anything." He says, his voice kinda betraying him slightly when it comes out shaky and weak. If this bitch makes him cry, I'm gonna slap her.

"You were bleeding before I put all my clothes on." She recalls. "Not the best thing to see, I won't lie. Who's that pretty lady hanging off your hip? Has she seen what you're capable of?"

"Nat-"

"Of course she has, you can't fucking cope without pain, can you Caleb? What happened? Did daddy beat you again?" He told her about his father?

"Nope, I can't do this." He snaps, having too much of all this and he gets up up from the couch before walking away, leaving us all.

"Where-" I go to ask where he's going but my voice breaks as I look helplessly over to Liam.

"Monica, follow him, now, before he does something he regrets." Liam speak sternly in my ear, just so I can hear and I nod, getting up from the couch quickly after Caleb, leaving everyone with their stares.

I don't know this Natalia girl but if she's out here when I get back from finding Caleb, I am going to slap her silly until I get a chunk of her hair to bring home with me like a souvenir.

I'm watching Caleb in front of me, he's not too far from me but is still unaware I'm following him. I don't know where he's going, but we're walking up the large staircase of this mansion and my anxiety has faded into complete worry for him.

I'm more than thankful that I didn't waste time in staying in the living room and went straight to find him. I don't know what would happen if it meant I had lost him in his track, I'm lost now and I can see him clear as day.

That is until he goes into one of the rooms, another one that isn't lit like the scary ones and it's soon closed behind him with a loud slam of the door.

I don't know what's behind that door, if it's a bathroom or a bedroom, but I can only hope for the latter - he can't be near razors right now, I don't trust him.

I hesitate before knocking on the door and I try my hardest to speak clearly for him. "Caleb, it's me, angel, can you open the door for me?"

"I'm sorry." I can hear his mumbles behind the door and I sigh. I don't know if it's out of relief or terror. I need to see him.

"Why are you sorry? Talk to me, come on." I want this door open, I need it open so I can have him safe, I need him to be safe.

"I put you through so much shit, angel. You don't deserve it, you really don't. She's right, you know? Everything she said it true. I'm horrible, baby. I put people through shit they don't deserve, no one deserved to see what I'm capable of and too many people have. I can't go without pain and it's just one more fuck up until I do it again, I can't put you through that, I can't do it."

"What are you saying?" I choke out my question. Tonight has really just turned a full 180 and I'm terrified for his answer.

"I shouldn't be your boyfriend, Monica." And there's the words that break my heart in two.

"Baby, no! You can't do this, I won't let you." He is not breaking up with me like this this. "Why is this even a conversation that we're having? You have struggles, so do I. I thought about killing myself two days ago and you saved me. You cut yourself and I saved you. You can't leave because you think your problems are too big for me to handle, they're not! If anything, I should be leaving you because of what happened of Thursday!"

And that's what makes him open the door and I finally get to see his face, an unhappy one at that.

"Don't you dare fucking say that." He scowls like my words are the worst he's ever heard. At least now he gets a taste of how I feel right now.

"You know I wouldn't ever fucking leave you and I'm never going to, don't fucking start this now." I let out a frustrated groan, threading my fingers through my hair as I pull on it. "Can we just stop this nonsense and fuck like we had planned all night? I don't like this."

"You want that?"

"More than anything." I tell him with my whole heart.

"Okay." He nods weakly, opening the door widely for me and I swallow the knot in my throat when I notice it is indeed a bathroom like I was dreading.

I can't think about what his plans were when he came up here and into this room, I can't think about that right now, not when I'm locking the door behind me and sinful thoughts run through my mind.

"Hey, I have an idea, but I need you to trust me, okay?" I don't know what I'm thinking but I wanna explore with him and our conversation from earlier when he spoke on needing it again just made my thoughts increase on that.

"I trust you more than anything."

"Then, I'm going to show you that you're mine and no one else's, okay? Just mine." I look down at him, my hands going to play with that zip on his jumpsuit. "She got me jealous before I wanted to knock her two front teeth out. Don't really like the fact that people have had you and they know how you feel inside them."

"Monica, what are you going to do?" He asks as I pull the jumpsuit over his shoulder, it falling down his arms.

"You're wearing a short sleeve." I take him in, ignoring his question. He looks so beautiful tonight, he always does, but fuck, he looks good. "It suits you."

"It will be the last you see me in it, I never wear them." He purses his lips together, standing awkwardly before I let go of the materiel in my hands, letting it fall to his feet. I don't believe his words, I think I'll see him in another one day.

"Step out of that for me please, I'm going to need your legs free." I like this, I like being in control.

"Moni." He gulps with anticipation but still he listens and steps out of the jumpsuit like I told him to. "What are you going to do?"

"Just want you to know that I'm yours." I mumble, looking down at the effect I have on him. He's hard already at the excitement and mystery for what's to come - he really has no clue. "Do you want to keep your shirt on?"

"It'll be a little dumb of me to just have this on, would it not?" He picks up some courage when he says this and I smirk to myself, bundling the fabric up in my hand before I pull it over his head.

"Love when you're like this for me." I take him in, stepping back a little to see him clearly. "You're so patient."

"I'm not patient." He shakes his head. I knew that, but I like to be a little tease for him and the way he's acting now, I'd call that pretty close to being patient.

"No?" I ask him as innocently as I possibly could and his eyes flicker over my face and then down my neck, landing at my breasts. I can see his adam's apple bobbing up and down, he's flustered. "Go, wet my fingers for me then, angel."

I've thought this through over and over again, but still with those thoughts, I haven't the slightly idea on what I should do next.

"Come on, I know you want to." I stick my index and middle finger out to him, teasing his lips. "Open."

His jaw becomes slack as he listens, his hand wrapping around my wrist loosely, taking me and putting my fingers in his mouth, sucking on them and getting them wet just like I want.

"Good boy, such a good boy for me today." Other than that moment in the green room, I've been in control and I've been enjoying every minute of it.

"Angel." That's the word he moans when he takes my fingers to hit the back of his throat, he doesn't stop there though and continues to suck on me, his cheeks tightening around my fingers as he does.

"You're mine, okay?" I claim him as mine as I pull my fingers away from him, collecting the saliva that drips down hips lips and chin and with my other hand, I cup his ass, only for him to respond with a quick nod. "All mine."

"I'm yours, I'm yours." He pants out, looking down between us before flashing his eyes back up to mine.

"Look at you begging for me like I want." I run my finger down his member and he lets out a whimper when I do. "Sensitive, baby? Not too sensitive to get hard for me like I want though, are you? Haven't fucked you enough tonight for that to happen."

"Fuck, baby, so hard for you, only you, okay?" He cups my jaw, keeping his hand there as I let my hands roam further.

"Only for me." I hum to myself as I take the two fingers he so kindly wet for me and run them down his crack, stopping them at his hole where I start to tease him with little circles.

"God." He chokes out, dipping his head onto my shoulder and I chuckle lightly at his reaction.

"Come on, relax for me, yeah? It's just me and you." I assure him of the latter, not wanting his worries or bad thoughts to appear.

"Just you and me." He repeats, placing a small kiss on my neck and as he does I smile. I love him like this, I love him anyway, but like this, it's something I can't get over.

"Want to make you feel good, angel, always to make you feel good." I whisper under my breath as I slip my finger into him and instantly he clenches around me in response ignoring my words. "You need to relax though, okay? Relax with me, angel."

"You feel so good, god." He chokes out, swallowing his moans yet again.

"Nah-ah, let me hear you, don't do that, bub, let me hear." I urge this more than anything. I couldn't hear him on the trampoline, I can now, I won't have him silencing himself again.

"Fuck's sake." He looks down between us with dazed eyes as he curses out.

"This okay for you? This how you want it with me?" I ask and he nods quickly, not giving a second thought before answering. "Don't have lube with me so we're gonna just stick with one, yeah?"

"Mhm, fuck, I need you, fuck me, baby." That's all I need to hear before I pull my finger from him almost all the way out before pushing into him again, and instantly I'm met by his whimpers as he clings to me and I continue with that, increasing the speed ever so slightly.

"Good boy, baby, such a good angel for me."

Although I'm the one with the praise kink, I couldn't help but notice his reaction when the words of praise fell my lips on the trampoline and even this time he lets out a ragged moan in reaction.

I like his submissive side, it brings out my dominant side even more. We collide together and stick as two jigsaw pieces perfectly.

"I can't- god." He lets out a shaky breath, choking on his words as he tries to speak.

"Shh, shh, shh, it's okay." I assure him, picking up his right leg and leaving it at my waist, holding it there as I push into him deeper.

He leans up against the wall as I do this, his eyes brimming with pleasurable tears and he pants out a desperate. "I'm yours, all yours."

"Hmm, that's right, bub, you're mine." I smile at his helpless state. "You're so needy, I should've brought my strap for you, huh?"

"Want you to fuck me." He nods, closing his eyes as his head falls against the wall with the rest of his body as the pleasure I'm giving him fully takes over.

"Not yet, you should've warned me sooner, could've brought it with me if you did." I tell him and he groans, his hand quickly going to his dick as he starts to pump himself slowly.

"You're killing me here, Moni." He shakes his head, his eyes still screwed shut as I do. I like when his eyes are on me so I know he's not with his thoughts.

"This good?" I have to ask again. Although I'm doing this for a reason and I want to be the dominant right now, my worries for him and insecurities will forever overpower that for me - I need to know he's okay with this.

"So good." He moans, biting down on his lip. "Don't stop, please don't stop."

I've never seen him like this.

As I feel him and hear him beg against me, so weak and so needy, it makes me fill with pride that I get to see him in this state.

He looks so fucking beautiful in my arms right now and I will forever be grateful for Caleb to allow himself to be like this with me.

"I'm going to-"

"Gonna cum?" I cut him off and he nods quickly and desperately, jolting in my arms as cum leaks from his tip.

"Hmm." He murmurs as he shakes his head, looking frustrated as he does so. "Let me fuck you, please, let me finish with you wrapped around me."

"You want that?" I stop instantly, pulling away from him when I understand what he wants.

"I really do." He rushes out, dropping his leg to the floor. He looks down between us and then back up at me. "Can you turn around for me?"

"Why?" I frown in confusion mostly. He makes me confused every day it seems like with his wants and asks of me.

"Want to fuck you like that." He mumbles shyly, holding my hips firmly with his large hands. "Can you lean over the sink for me, please?"

"Mhm." I nod my head.

"Good girl." He grips at my hips to turn my body around to face the mirror in front of me, my hands instantly falling down to the counter top.

"There's a mirror." I point out the obvious. I didn't even realize, my attention was on him with worry and admiration so much that all I had in mind was him.

"Look at how sexy you are." He murmurs and I'm confused when I don't see him looking at me through the mirror like I would presume, but instead he's looking down at my ass while both his hands rip the boxers I'm wearing tonight.

"Caleb." I whimper out as I feel his dick hit my bare ass. And now it's my turn to be the submissive... it's crazy how quick our roles can switch just like that. I love it.

"Yes?" He smirks, letting the ripped material fall to the floor, it falling just wear his clothes lay.

"Everyone will see me naked, my skirt is short." It's gonna happen too. I've been conscious of how short this skirt is since I put it on.

"You're mine, I don't care. I don't care who sees, I don't care, you're mine and that's mine." He whispers in my ear, bring his hand round my front, cupping my pubic area. "All mine, yeah? This pussy, it's mine."

"Fuck, it's yours, it's yours." I'm the desperate one now. Within a minute, I'm the desperate whore he wants.

"Good." He flashes me a coy smile in the mirror when he reaches into my back pocket to grab a condom. "While I'm putting this on, can you grab my phone and go onto camera for me please? I want to keep this moment forever."

"Baby, we can't, what if somebody-"

"No ones looking in my hidden folder but you and me." He tells me and I purse my lips together before smiling slightly. "That okay with you? Don't wanna do anything you don't want."

"Mhm." I hum in response, grabbing his phone from the counter - he must have placed this on here when he came in here earlier because I do not remember him having his phone in his pocket when taking his jumpsuit off.

"When you're fucking yourself next and you want to watch this back, how do you want us? Hmm? What angle do you want?" He asks in a low mumble, focusing on his task of putting a condom on.

"I don't know." I shrug.  I have no fucking clue, I don't know anything about angles or what I want. Seeing him is enough, I don't care.

"How about you put it up against that little soap dispenser over there? That'd be pretty good." I'm so fucking thankful I have him because I'd be lost, I'd be so lost.

It isn't until I've placed the phone up where he wants and pressed record, when I realize his obvious state of frustration behind me.

"You struggling back there?" I finally ask him once I hear a frustrated groan, his head laying at my back.

"Babe, if I lose my erection over this fucking condom, I'm going to cry." His words make me laugh and I turn on the spot to see him.

"You won't lose it, just try a different one, I think that one's a little fucked now." I grab another condom out from my back pocket and in a huff, he takes it from me, throwing the trash to the floor - I swear, he cares sometimes. "You okay now?"

"Mhm." His eyes don't leave his dick as he tries to focus and I watch in amusement. He really is annoyed with his little self, isn't he?

"Shall I start myself off?" I'm not impatient, I'll wait for him.

"Are you wet?" It's a random question, but it's still something that sends a blush to my cheeks. "Never mind, of course you are."

"Excuse me, you can't fault me for getting turned on at seeing you submissive." I tell him and he lets out a sigh of relief when he finally has the condom rolled onto him properly. "Also how is me being wet anything to do with me touching myself?"

"Because angel." He turns me around, slipping his fingers into me so effortlessly. "I wouldn't be able to do this as easy, would I?"

He doesn't keep his fingers in me for long and is soon trailing them up to my clit, circling me there as I whine in his arms.

"Sensitive little thing, aren't you?" His hands leave me and come to my hips again as he lines himself up with my entrance and I suck in a breath when I feel the tip of him enter me, stretching me out. "Tell me when to stop. Keep talking to me."

"Keep going, don't hold back with me, don't ever hold back." I beg out to him as I bow my head between my arms.

"Feel so good." He mutters, pushing into me and inch by inch my walls adapt to him, but still my eyes screw shut at the adjustment and I pant the air, needing it more that I ever thought I would this early on.

"Caleb, fuck." I moan out as he fills me fully and hits my cervix. It's a beautiful pain, the pain I welcome. I love this feeling so much.

"Too much?"

"No, no, no." I shake my head. "It's never too much for me, never. I just don't think I could ever get used to you."

"You will one day, angel."

"That time you meant it, you meant the meaning! You need to stop teasing me about my virginity." I whine as he brings his arms around me, pulling me close to his chest.

"Mhm, never should've told me, angel, can't fucking stop thinking about it, thinking about I was the first." He grits out, pulling himself back from me as I feel himself almost slip out of me fully before he pushes back in. "Always gonna be the first, just me will have that, I'm your first."

"Fuck." I splutter out with a groan, gripping onto the counter in front of me.

"My beautiful little whore, look at you." He grabs my neck, forcing me to look up, his eyes locking onto mine in the mirror and I moan at the pure sight of him now pounding into me harshly, over and over again. That grip on my neck only seems to get tighter as sounds fall from my mouth. We look fucking amazing.

"Daddy." I whimper out, the feeling I get from when he chokes me filling my mind with nothing but happiness.

"Scream it for me, scream my name. Come on, I know you can." He urges more than anything, our kinks shining through together as we enjoy this moment.

"Please, fuck- daddy, please." I stumble over my words, the lack of oxygen really taking its effect on me.

"Please, what? What do you want, princess?" He knows what I want just by how my body's reacting to him. I need him, I need more of him.

"Harder, I want it harder, fuck me harder, please." I beg out as tears stream my eyes and I cry out for him.

"You're so fucking tight for me, been waiting all week for me, haven't you?" He taunts but still he fucks me harder like I want, his nails now gripping onto my hips so strongly that they're giving me the pain I love and the rough contact of our skin makes my ass sting.

I am on fire - I fucking love it.

"Maybe you can be patient." He looks down between us again and a moan leaves his mouth. "You look amazing, fuck."

"I'm going to cum." I screw my eyes shut as warning for him. I'm so close, closer than I ever thought I'd be.

"Come on, stay up for me, need your legs to work, baby, keep going for me until I'm done."

"I can't." I shake my head, tensing my walls around him on purpose, hoping he'll listen to my pleads and begs.

It seems that, that only frustrates him more and in response he gives me the exact opposite of what I want and pulls out of me fully, spanking my ass hardly with his palm as punishment.

But it only urges my orgasm closer and I think he knows that, he knows that his actions will effect me the way they do.

"You wanna play games with me, really? Don't fucking do that, Moni." He grits out, cupping my ass cheek in his hand. "Don't fucking do that."

"I want to cum."

"And I said wait, you gonna behave and do what I tell you?" He asks and I nod, obeying him. "Good girl. See, look how good it is when you listen."

"Fuck." I choke out when I feel him push into me again, my arousal leaking down my thighs at the rough act and I stumble when I try to move my hand between my legs.

"Got cuffs, if I were you, I'd keep your hands to yourself." He threatens me.

I love the idea of being restrained right now but I honestly don't know what's going to happen when I have my hands cuffed behind my back, my weak arms are what's stopping me from face planting the mirror right now.

I'm a mess, my sexy state that once were when I first looked at myself in this mirror has faded into a more messy and desperate one.

I'm clinging to anything I can right now, holding back my orgasm so he can join me, whenever that will be I'm still in the unknown about.

I had him almost cumming by my fingers just five minutes ago, how the fuck is he still going? Does he have super powers?

Although I fucking love this feeling - the tingle and shock that drives my pleasure - my patience is wearing thin real quick at the thought of what main pleasure I'm holding off.

I want it so bad.

"You're being too quiet, want you loud for me, Moni." He growls in my ear as I screw my eyes shut at the feeling of his pushing into me harsher than he has ever done before, but instead of it being fast thrusts, they're indescribably slow and it shoots pleasure through me effortlessly.

"I can't cope, Caleb, I need it." I whimper.

"Nearly there, princess, just wait for me." He picks up the pace, pounding into my fast and hard just like I want.

The sounds.

I never pick up on anything during sex since most of the time my only task in mind is making sure Caleb is okay with everything or my own pleasure, but since I know both are in tact, my senses are heightened and pick up on the sounds.

His moans are like music on a warm summer morning, at the right volume it can send you into complete ecstasy.

My struggled moans and whines are more of the desperate kind, totally indescribable as I alternate between being frustrated and pleasured.

The sounds our bodies are making as they move as one together, sound fucking heavily.  I've never had that point of view, I always perceived them as to be gross but somehow it only edges me further to the orgasm I'm trying to suppress.

Caleb is going to kill me and he knows it.

"Going to cum with me, angel?" He mumbles out with his lips sucked under his teeth, telling me how close he really is.

"Mhm." I nod like the desperate little whore he loves to call me. I'm so desperate for him. Fuck, I can't take it.

"Words, use your words, Moni." He urges me more than anything.

"Yes."

It's his next words that ignite something deep inside, "Cum for daddy, princess. Cum for me, let me feel you."

"God, Caleb, you're-" I choke on the sentence I was about to speak when my orgasm crashes over me, my legs bucking at the knees and I almost fall if it wasn't for Caleb's arms that comes across my body, keeping me up.

"Fuck, baby." He grits out, pushing into me a last time before emptying into the condom, his thrusts turning sloppy very quickly as he finishes and joins me in complete ecstasy.

"I can't stand, fuck, angel." I pant out as everything becomes too much.

"You don't need to stand, I've got you, I've got you." He hushes in my ear, holding me up like I'm a rag doll in his arms.

"You've got me." I repeat lazily.

"You did so fucking good." He bows his head, letting it fall to my shoulder and I let out a shaky breath. "So good, baby."

God, I fucking love you, Caleb.