Courtney
I was finally starting to walk over to the ice rink. I'm not in the mood to practice right now. I'm not in the mood for ice skating on my own either. I just saw a good friend of mine die and what do I do?
Go practice.
Maybe it's what Hans wants. Anyway, I was tired and just wanna go home. Not to the dorm, back home.
I want to go back home where I can open the door to my house and see my dad watching TV with Dawn cuddling up against him. I want go home to smelling the pasta or stake my mom used to make when I was little.
I want to go home to my mom coming to the door and giving me a tight grip, telling me she loves me. I want to go home to my family, but I can't. Because they're gone.
I miss this so much. I miss my moms sweet smile and the way she used to kiss my forehead. I miss the way my dad would hug me and the way he used to take me to hockey. I miss the way Dawn used to laugh and play with me. I miss Keith's sarcasm and his love for me.
I miss it all.
The person I miss more is my dad. He helped me the most through life. We were tight on money before my dad remarried. But he still got me all my gear, he still took me to every hockey practice, every game.
He still tried his best for me because I was all he had left. I was his only hope. When he died. He told me to keep fighting, that... those words, were his last. He wasted his last breath, last second, last words on me.
I told him I loved him and I missed him. I kept crying and yelling don't stop fighting. He kind of let out a laugh and grabbed my hand. He closed his eyes and let out his sweet smile.
Then he said "no, Courtney, I need to stop fighting. I have been fighting for a year and this is my time. I love you Courtney. And I'll watch you from above. But my wish to you is... is.... is to keep fighting...." Then, he died.
I can still see him. I can still hear his voice. I can still hear him giving me advice on what I should do. Sometime I don't want to hear them, but I do.