Blood Floweret

« Chapter Thirteen »

When she made it back to the Alpha's House, she found only Beth and Deikota in the kitchen, cleaning up the baking pans. They were humming together, splashing bubbles at each other every once and a while. She was growing more and more comfortable with these women, they never passed any judgement and they were always so kind. Especially Beth, she never expected this woman to grow into a mother figure for her but it just happened. 

She loved the idea of finally having a supportive mother. Someone she could carry all her troubles to and receive unconditional love. She hardly remembered her birth mother but any memories she did have were unpleasant. She didn't even think her birth mother was still alive after the rogue attack and that didn't bother her. Her birth mother had chosen to disown her. 

Her eyes drifted to the sweet treats that all the women of the pack had helped make. A string of cooling racks lined the countertops and she felt her heart aching once more. It was moments like these she wanted to remember forever. A kitchen full of love and sweetness, memories and laughter. She wanted more of that. 

"Oh, hey Val!" Kota greeted, having turned around to dry dishes, "Didn't hear you come back!" 

She walked closer, willing to help, "I just went to talk with Cassius." 

"Oh," Kota wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, "You guys are getting along quite well. Have you done it yet?" 

Beth gasped and spun to slap the back of Kota's head, "Jesus! Can you not?!" 

"Ow!" Kota whined, rubbing her head, "Sorry, I can't help myself sometimes. No need to hit me." 

She shook her head, almost laughing but not quite, and she decided it was safe to tell them, "No, we haven't done anything." 

"You guys spend every night together!" Kota whined but then shut up when Beth raised her hand again, "Okay, okay, no more, I get it." 

Beth cleared her throat, "Val, honey, don't listen to this weirdo," They both looked at Kota, who rolled her eyes, and then Beth continued, "You guys can take whatever pace you want, it is your relationship, and none of us have any business digging into it. I, for one, am always happy to see couples getting to know each other first. Don't ever feel guilty about taking it slow, Cassius is more than happy to wait for you." 

She rubbed her arms, almost sheepishly, "He's so patient, I wish I could give him more." 

"Nonsense!" Beth quipped, "Cassius never thought he would ever have a mate, just having you here is more than enough for his happy little soul. He understands you have to work through things on your own. I think you underestimate how much he understands your situation. We all understand, you know that, right?" A motherly tone seeped through Beth's words and she just wanted to admit everything she felt. 

"I--I feel...so little... compared to you guys." She slowly admitted. 

Kota snorted, "Excuse me?" And at the same time, Beth said, "What did you just say?" 

She stared wide-eyed at them and then sputtered, "It's just...you guys have it all figured out and I don't know why I'm struggling so much." She looked down. God, why was it so hard to explain herself? 

Both women were quiet, observing her, and she fidgeted. Had she made a mistake opening up? Had she just ruined their entire relationship? She almost flinched when both of them came to either side of her and sat down at the island counter. She chanced a glance at their expressions and she was surprised to see understanding reflecting in each of their eyes. 

"Honey," Beth began, placing a hand on top of her own, "You have to stop comparing yourself to others. You aren't supposed to be like everyone else, you are supposed to be yourself." 

"Yeah," Kota said, bumping shoulders with her, "Everyone deals with things differently. If I had known you were comparing yourself to everyone around you, I would have slapped you a long time ago. You can't make assumptions about things because we may look like we have it figured out but sometimes we feel lost, too. We hurt and we cry. But what's important is that we're here for each other."

Beth squeezed her hand, "Every step of the way. Val, you might think that we don't understand but we do, more than you know, and we're here to support you." 

"We're always here for you." Kota finished. 

She didn't even know what to say. Her throat had swollen with emotion at the very first word and she was just struggling to keep her tears at bay. These women were incredible, she couldn't even describe them. She sniffled and looked at both of them. They smiled and then they wrapped their arms around her. Their pregnant stomachs almost smooshed her in the middle but she relished in the warmth and love. 

"Thank you," She whispered through teary eyes. 

"You are never alone," Beth rested their foreheads together. 

When the tears finally stopped trickling down her cheeks, they moved apart. She wiped her cheeks, almost wanting to smile at how full her heart felt. She looked at these women and she decided that she wouldn't compare herself to them but she wouldn't stop looking up to them. She would always see them as role models. 

"Val," Kota's voice interrupted her thoughts, and they made eye contact, "You have to forgive yourself. I see it in your eyes, you can't hold onto all these emotions anymore." 

"I have to let go," She recited what she had been told and she believed it now.

Beth chimed in, "Holding onto all of this pain is too heavy for your soul. And I hate to see you like this. You should be happy." 

"I'm trying." She said, quietly. 

"Girl, you gotta wake up in the morning and tell the world how you're feeling," Kota interjected, "Not the other way around. Remember what I told you? Gotta kick some ass and be who you want to be." 

Beth rolled her eyes, shooting Kota a glare, "Okay we're not advising revenge," Beth turned to her, focusing intently on the next words to say, "You just need to learn how to love yourself again." 

She nodded, "Yeah." 

Even the thought of it seemed nice--loving herself for the first time--and she already knew what she had to do. Beth and Kota both smiled brightly and then they went back to cleaning up the dishes. She stood and went to help them but her mind was set. As clear as a sunny day, along with everyone's advice and support, she knew that the next step would change her forever and she was going to take it boldly.

And it was her choice to heal. 

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I am loving these moments between my powerful, brave women. Now, all we need is Reeve and Mikica! ;) 

Sorry about the delay in updates! I was called into work twice these past few days and then my monthly was killing me and yesterday I went on a 12-hour last-minute Christmas shopping trip with my brothers. I'm pretty exhausted but I have my coffee! I had to rearrange some chapters this morning, too, but here we are! I hoped you enjoyed!

The next chapter might cause some major controversy but you all know it's coming. Everything that has happened to Val has led up to this point and I'm so excited to take the next step with her. She deserves it and I'm doing my best to explain it to you guys.