Music is a part of life, a part of who we are. You can go anywhere in the world and music will follow you. You can't escape it. Whenever you hear a song, it makes you wonder, is this song meant for me? Is this the song that represents who I am, shar...
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It took us a while to get started. The guys wouldn't stop asking if I was OK or why I was crying in the first place. My answers were always the same: "I'm fine" or "I don't really know". I knew I was lying to them all, but it wasn't something I felt comfortable explaining to them. They all seemed to accept what I was saying. All except Jason.
He kept glancing at me with concerned but curious glances throughout our rehearsal. I could tell he didn't believe the shitty lies I'd fed to everyone. Throughout high school so far I've put a barrier between myself and everyone around me, and somehow, Jason is able to break through and see beneath it. It's like he can tell that I'm terrified right now, that the people in this room are the only ones apart from my brother to compliment me on something I've kept hidden for years.
Practice flies by, and before I know it we're packing up our stuff and getting ready to leave. It was great to have Azura there. I don't think I would have been able to get through it without her support. She was always smiling and clapping along, sometimes singing along with me if she knew the words.
I wasn't the only one who seemed to appreciate Azura's company. Aiden couldn't keep his eyes off of my fiery friend. The whole time he was playing the bass he was staring at her, as if entranced by her beauty. I couldn't blame him; Azura was beautiful in every way. I couldn't tell if Azura had noticed this small fact. I was too busy trying not to have a panic attack before singing each song.
Just as I swing my rucksack over my shoulders, Kyle called out: "Jessica! Wait up a minute!"
I turn from my spot in the corner of the room to find all the guys walking to Kyle and turning to face me. Kyle nodded his head towards his hands, which I realised were outstretched towards me. In them was a weirdly shaped object wrapped in sparkly pink paper. I looked up at Kyle in confusion, but he just jerked his head in the parcels direction, indicating for me to take it.
I reach out and gently take the gift from his hands, pulling it slowly towards me. I look around at the rest of the band, all of which were giving me small smiles. Glancing back down at the sparkling package in my hands, I turn it over carefully, not quite believing that this was actually for me. My name was written in a thick black marker over the front, all in caps. I couldn't stop the small smile that came to my face when I saw the wonky smiley face drawn next to it.
Cautiously, I peel back the paper, unwrapping the covering to get to the object inside. I could hear a faint rattling as I pulled off the wrapping, the sound increasing my curiosity. I take the object into one hand and let the shimmering paper fall to the ground.
It's a tambourine.
They gave me a tambourine.
Why did they give me a tambourine?
My confusion must have been evident on my face because Jason starts to explain. "We used some of the money we earned busking to buy you a tambourine. We thought that since we all had musical instruments to play, maybe you could play one too while you sing."
I had to admit, this was really sweet of them. It was one of the nicest things anyone had done for me. I could feel hot tears start to well up in my eyes, making my vision blurry. As I turn the tambourine over in my hand, I notice a splash of colour in the middle of the membrane. Blinking back the tears that are threatening to fall, I take a good look at the instrument in my hands. It was like any other tambourine, with the mini cymbals around the wooden rim with a hole for you to hold onto it. The only thing different was the band logo plastered right in the centre, the vibrant colours standing out against the pale white of the membrane.
I was being accepted.
I couldn't stop the tears that ran down my face. Finally, I had been accepted in this school for being myself. And I could do something that I loved, knowing that I wasn't going to get laughed off the stage.
"What are you supposed to do when a girl starts crying?" Kyle not so subtly whispers to the guys.
I could hear a few chuckles from the guys, clearly amused by his reaction. I heard a sudden thwack! and Kyle's yelp, along with a whispered "Deku", my guess from Azura. Choking out a laugh I sit on the edge of a table, just staring at the instrument in my hands.
An arm rests along my shoulders pulling me onto a warm body. "Are you OK?" Turning my head to the side, I blink at the person next to me. Jason had his arm around me, looking down at me with concern shining in his eyes.
"Yeah, I'm OK. I guess I just got a bit emotional."
He gives me a squeeze, using his thumb to wipe the tears off my face. I couldn't help the blush that spread across my face. Who knew he could be so sweet?
"And that is what you should do when a girl is crying," I hear Azura say in the background, the guys laughing out loud. I was too busy looking at Jason that I didn't really notice what was happening. His eyes were a mixture of green and brown, the colours blending together effortlessly to create a beautiful hazel. They were so warm and kind that I couldn't stop staring at his comforting gaze.
"Is it just me, or did the temperature in here just rise by like ten degrees?"
My eyes snap up to Blake, breaking the bubble that seemed to have been around me and Jason. "What?"
"The way you guys were staring at each other, I thought we were going to have to evacuate the room!"
I was so confused by his comment. What did that mean? I looked over at Azura in question to find her with her hand over her mouth, stifling her laugh. Looking around at everyone else, I found they were all in a similar state. What happened?
"Dude, shut up," Jason says to Blake, giving him a warning glare.
Blake just raised his hands in mock surrender, retreating to the front of the classroom where he had left his bag. "I'll see you guys later. Matt, you coming?" Matthew picked up his bag and quickly followed Blake out of the classroom, giving us a wave and a quiet "bye".
Slowly, the rest of us picked up our bags and equipment and made our way out of the classroom and to the car park at the front of the school. Kyle and Jason said their goodbyes, each receiving a hug of thanks from me before going to their separate vehicles. "I'm going to pick up my brother for his practice if you want a lift home?" I ask Azura, knowing she took the bus to school with Hisashi this morning.
"That would be great! Do you think you could take Hisashi with you? I'm guessing the practice you're talking about is football and he was wanting to try out."
"Sure. We can go to mine first and then we'll swing by yours."
"Thank you so much Jessica! I'm sure he'll be glad he won't have to take the bus anymore," she says, relieved.
"It's really no problem Zu. I'm going there anyway," I tell her with a smile.
She lets out a small laugh as we get into my car. "What's so funny?" I ask her.
"You called me Zu. I haven't been called that in years," she explains with a nostalgic smile.
"I'm sorry. I won't use it again if you don't want me to."
"No, it's fine! It's just been a while that's all." She gives me a sheepish smile.
"If you're sure. Let's get going then, Zu," I say with a wink. We both start laughing, neither one of us really knowing why, but that didn't stop us from enjoying the moment.
Glossary
Deku: A Japanese nickname that means "useless person" or "someone who can't do anything".
