Music is a part of life, a part of who we are. You can go anywhere in the world and music will follow you. You can't escape it. Whenever you hear a song, it makes you wonder, is this song meant for me? Is this the song that represents who I am, shar...
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Relieved wasn't a good enough word to describe how I felt when the final bell went at school. All I wanted was to go home, lie on the couch and watch shitty movies with Ethan for the rest of the evening until we fall asleep. Maybe order pizza. I'll let Ethan decide.
If he's free. He might not want to.
These thoughts did nothing to help my depressed state. I knew just hanging with Ethan would help. It usually did. But I didn't want to be a burden. If he said no, I would deal with it. Maybe hit the gym. Raid my dad's alcohol cabinet.
After grabbing a few things from my locker, I mutter a quick goodbye to Azura as I passed her and walked into the busy parking lot, dodging people and cars every step. I didn't want to drive. I was much too tired. Making a final decision, I grab the L plates from the boot and stick them on their respective places on the car.
Yes. I was letting Ethan drive.
Ethan may have failed his test, but he was still a decent driver. Retaking it wouldn't be a problem for him.
My bag lands with a 'thunk' when I throw it onto the back seats, slamming the door behind it. I yank the passenger side door open, collapse onto the seat and swiftly pull my hood up, leaning my head against the window. The car was comfortably warm from the left over summer sun, the tension leaving my body and relaxing into the heated chair.
A loud tap on the window broke through the peacefulness in the car, making the glass my head was leaning on vibrate. Squinting through the window, I see a confused Ethan giving me his "what the hell" look. Obviously he was expecting a personal chauffeur as usual. I give him a blank look, not bothering to reply and click me seat belt on. He knew what the answer was anyway. He wasn't stupid.
Huffing like the five year old he is, Ethan stomps around the car, forcefully opening the door and swung his bag into the back of the car as he sat down, narrowly missing me in the process. I'm too tired to be bothered.
The car is quiet as Ethan drives down the road, the hum of the car preventing it from being uncomfortable. "Are you OK?" he asks, breaking the silence.
"No," I say quietly, knowing it's useless to lie to him.
There's a pause, and then he asks "Do you want to talk about what happened at lunch?"
"No."
"Ok."
He pulls into our driveway, his parking slightly wonky but overall he'd had a good drive. He grabs his bag from behind his chair and moves to get out but I call him to stop. He looks over at me expectantly.
"Will you, um... will you stay with me today?" I ask hesitantly, looking down at my hands fiddling with the hem of my hoodie. I couldn't look him in the eye. I wasn't strong enough for that.
"Of course I will."
I let out a sigh of relief and look over to my brother. It's obvious he sees how exhausted I am but he doesn't comment. He just gives me a small, encouraging smile and nods his head towards the house. "Let's go in, yeah?"
I just nod and follow.
Everything is fine.
***
"Jess, what film are we watching?" Ethan calls from the living room. I was currently raiding our cupboards for all the snacks we had, sweet and savoury.
"Burlesque," I reply, smiling slightly at his annoyed groan. It was one of my favourite easy watch films, but Ethan hated it. I don't know why. What straight guy doesn't want to watch a group of beautiful ladies dancing in heels and lingerie? I don't believe him anyway; I always catch him singing along.
"What's next? Disney?" he comments sarcastically as I walk back into the room.
"Yes, actually," I say as I put the snacks on the coffee table, earning another groan from Ethan.
"Really?"
"You love it."
He lets out a sigh, mumbling incoherently under his breath. We both sit on the sofa that was stacked with pillows and soft blankets. If you're going to have a movie night you have to do it correctly. That means lots of unhealthy snacks, mountains of blankets and ordering a large pizza from the best pizza place in town. It can't get much better than that.
Once we're settled, Ethan hits play, grabbing a random snack from the table. Halfway through, he leaves to go to the bathroom, not bothering to pause it. We've seen it a million times before anyway.
I look over when he walks back in, noticing his slight limp. "Is your knee bothering you again?" I ask, pausing the movie.
"It's nothing," he brushes me off, sitting back next to me.
"It's clearly not nothing."
"Please just drop it, OK? I'm fine."
"You're limping! How is that fine?"
"Just leave it be. Its just a small football injury. I have it handled."
"Shouldn't you get it checked? It could be serious," I stress to him, concerned.
"No."
"But-"
"I asked you to drop it!" Ethan pushes out, clearly annoyed.
"OK fine. I'm sorry."
He nods and presses play, turning back to ignoring me. I don't understand why he won't let me help him. He's worried about me all the time yet the second I worry about him, he blocks me out. It's almost like he doesn't want me to be there for him. But at the end of the day, I am here. And he does worry me.
