Lessons of the Heart and the Liquid it Pumps ||

51: Pushed Down

After a long moment I looked to him. “Well then why is he coming after me now? Why are you helping him? If you thought I’d get hurt again then what changed that?” Surprisingly my voice came out in a near hiss. Without any ability to control it my mood had switched suddenly and I felt my nerves disappearing and turning to irritation.

“I have my reasons.” he said flatly, not willing to explain.

I didn’t breathe another word as I climbed from his car and closed the door roughly behind me. I wasn’t sure what had pushed my mood over the edge but it had fallen off in a downwards spiral. How dare he even bring up David? I hadn’t loved him but I’d come close and it hurt to have him tore away from me. What was worse was knowing I’d more than likely hurt him even more. We’d been young and stupid and had promised to marry each other. Aiden had even liked David, though I suppose after having him tag along with us for three years he didn't have a choice.

Aiden knew that David was my first. I’d told him in one of our candlelight ceremonies that we’d held. Back then I’d told him everything. He’d told me everything. Or had he really? I marched down the halls and robotically made my way to my seat in Mr.Marr’s room without even bothering to pay attention to Aiden who I knew was just a few steps behind me just as silent.

The fact he hadn’t told me about this whole stupid Shane thing before caused my mind to churn angrily. I thought we were supposed to be best friends? Tell each other everything and anything that happened to us? And there he’d gone and kept a secret from me. If there was once there was bound to be more. What if he never really told me anything? What if I knew as little about him as I did any of the other students I passed in the hall without a glance?

What right did he have to control my person life when he himself couldn’t even tell me the truth? I wasn’t sure what bothered me more… the meddling or the secret keeping? All he would have had to do was tell me why and I would have agreed to it the first day I met Shane! I thought, frustrated, as I signed my name angrily onto the homework in front of me and passed it forward.

Beside me Aiden sat just as uncomfortably. He didn’t flirt or smile like he usually did. All he did was sit and push around a pencil on the desk. I wasn’t sure what was going through his head but I didn’t care to find out. Not like he’d tell me anyways, I thought sourly.

“Isadora?” 

I noticed for first time that the class’s eyes were on me. “What?” I snapped at Mr.Marrs wondering what it was I had done wrong this time.

As I looked up into his face I noticed the slightest flash of concern cross it that only I could see for everyone else had their eyes on me instead of him. “I said that we were watching one of your clips today.” he stated, his voice sounding as perfectly teacher-like as it always did in the classroom.

“Oh.” I muttered as my heart beat slowed back to normal. Relax woman it was just one stupid mistake. I coaxed myself to try and calm down. Aiden hadn’t meant to make you mad. He did it because he cared. I slunk a little lower in my seat as a few people chuckled at how spaced out I’d been. I hated people looking at me. But more than that I hated myself for the tone I’d used on Mr.Marrs.

Collin. My mind reminded me and I felt a small amount of relief wash through me. “I do believe I promised you popcorn for your effort in organizing them?”

I nodded and mumbled, “Oh, yeah.”

“Would you mind starting the clip for us?”

For a moment I looked up into his eyes like a deer caught in the headlights. “Me?” I choked out only to hear another round of giggles from the girls who whispered behind us. Mr.Marrs nodded. “Uhm, o-okay.” I stuttered as I got to my feet and shuffled to the front of the room. All eyes were on me, or at least it felt like it. I couldn’t be sure because I was too petrified to so much as turn and glance to see if they were even awake.

With a little poke I pushed on the projector and began to get to the scene of the Tudors that I’d selected for this unit. After I finished and finally got it playing, it kept pausing itself on my first three tries, I stepped back as Mr.Marrs turned out the lights and turned the volume up. I swallowed slowly and started to head back towards my desk with my eyes towards the ground when the feeling of a soft tapping came on my shoulder.

~~~~~~~~Special thanks to silentwriter for editing! :D~~~~~~~~