painful friendship

reading between the lines

Monday morning, tharn awoke a bit early to head to the grocery store, that weekend was terrible, he also achieved it without drinking, smoking cigarettes, calling his other friends, or placing his frustrations on someone to do something secretive with them.
It didn't help that he called, texted type through out the weekend to get nothing in return, but he's understood it, he knew it was all his fault, tharn knew he was being nothing more then a jerk, asshole to him when he didn't deserve it.
So standing, before something he knew type loved, he smiled wide, hoping it would make amends. He didn't like it when they fought, and he really didn't like it when they didn't talk. Types pain was his pain.
Walking to school with the goods, he stopped to see type to the table, eyeing to the top, dazed a bit, the weekend made type start to question a few things, made him feel like this was all his fault, he also doesn't get that much sleep, being very much like tharn, he didn't like when they fought or when he ignored him but tharn went a bit far Friday.
Taking a deep breathe, tharn looked about to make sure no one was near then he walked to the table to stand before the seat, to cock his head to look to him.
Types body stiffened, he didn't say anything.
Tharn rounded the back pack to place it to the top, to sit, he eyed type, feeling his gaze, type turned his head to look him up and down.
Tharn made a funny pout, widened his eyes.
Type rolled his to look forward to keep eating his food.
Tharn then smirked, to lay his chin to his shoulder to look up, still with a funny pout.
Type chewed at his cheek, to gulp, this always got to him, however he was trying to remain strong.
Taking a hand back, tharn opened his back pack, to grab what he received earlier. He then placed it right in front of him.
"Type....... I'm sorry...... You know I'm an asshole now....."
Type peered his eyes up to look upon the bag, that had sour gummies, they were he's favorites. He signed to reach for it, tharn took it back and away to the side, type kept his hands out, hesitant to try again, same thing happened.
Type then looked to tharn. There eyes darted.
"Type........I really am sorry...... Can.... We just forget that..... Conversation..,...."
Type signed once more to then look to the bag.
Were..... Always forgetting our conversations......
Shrugging, he grabbed the bag quick, to then open, he smiled has he looked upon the candy.
Tharns eyes darted to then wrap his arms around to sway them a bit.
"So...... Does that mean I'm..... Forgiven?"
"Mmm...... Your.....a real big asshole...... But....I guess this.... Payment is enough....... Yes we can..... Forget...."
Tharn smirked, then it slowly disappated, upping the anti, he moved his mouth up to his cheek to kiss.
Types eyes widen, to turn, he brought a hand up to gulp, looking to tharn. He had leaned away, hands cupped before his body, head turned, eyeing him.
"Why...... Did you....."
Tharn took a deep breathe in.
"Do..... You have something.... For me?"
Type brought his hand down, to look forward, placing the bag to the table, he rolled his eyes, to then go to his back pack that was too the top, to open.
"Probably the main reason why I got these."
He then took out, tharns favorite assortment of chocolates, then a breakfest he made earlier and some aspirins.
Tharn smiled to the chocolates and the food, he gave the aspirins back to type, he held them to eye.
"Don't you....."
Tharn looked to the chocolates, to then open, to take one, to shrug.
"Nope, didn't drink this weekend or smoked, was...... The old me. Surprised?"
Types lips parted to turn his head to eye tharn.
Feeling his gaze he turned his head to look to him, chuckling a bit.
"What?"
Type eyed him. Up and down to then place the aspirins back to his back pack.
"Nothing, just..... Miss that tharn."
Tharn gritted his teeth to let something slip.
"Who's fault do you think that is that I'm not....." Then he gritted his teeth.
Types eyes widen to turn to eye him.
"Are you..... Trying to..... Place blame of your, " bad guy transformation" on me? What did I do? If I remember correctly it happened after the night we....... Then the next day you had something to tell me. What was it tharn? Hmmm? Maybe you wanted to tell me, after I left you slept with someone while you were under the influence. Is that why you turned into this? Hmm?"
Tharn looked to type, with widen eyes.
"What the..... Hell are you talking about! I told you when I lost my..... It was when I was 20 type."
Type rolled his eyes to look forward.
"You said it happened when you were 19 and with someone that you won't even give me the name of."
Tharn turned his head to look forward to roll his eyes.
"You...... Can be..... So dense sometimes type..... Maybe I did have something to tell you back then, but...... What actual truth are you trying to....."
Tharn turned his head to watch type get up.
"You...... Don't deserve the actual truth tharn..... Don't deserve it! Your such a.....asshole!"
Type threw the bag of candy to tharn to gather his things to then leave. Tharn got up with the bag, to flex his jaw in anger.
Has type went to the trash cans he bumped into someone.
Getting up he looked them over.
"Mmm sorry moishe, I'm..... In a rush...."
He came up with a piece of trash to throw it away to eye type to nod.
Tharn gripped the bag, he could see where this was going. He shook his head.
Turning he placed everything away, to then go to then to eye, they bothed looked to him.
"Hope..... You two make a cute couple......"
Tharn looked to type to then leave.
Moishe eyed him confused.
"What..... Is he talking about?"
Type signed to shrug.
"Everytime......I get close to a guy that isn't him.....I..... Seem to go out with them....."
Moishe eyed type.
"Are you..... Still fake dating to then...."
Type went to him to place a hand over his mouth..
"Shhhh, he could still be around....."
Moishe chuckled a bit under his hand to nod. Type stepped back to eye him then look about.
"You two..... Are very entertaining you know that, two unrequited lovers, both too I don't know, stubborn or....."
Type eyed moishe.
"What...... Are you talking about? Two unrequited......moishe you know I love tharn however...... With everything he has done to..... Keep me in the..... Friend zone......I know he..... Doesn't feel the same....."
Type grabbed his arm to look down.
Moishe rolled his eyes to then place his arm around his shoulder, he then pulled him to class.
Being to far, tharn couldn't hear what they had said, but saw there embrace, he signed.
Dursten, I...... Feel your pain..... Your unrequited love..... Is with.....mine.
Gulping and hard, he turned to go have a cigarette.
Has they walked type kept his eyes down, moishe looked forward.
"Type..... It's called reading between the lines, I've seen the things he has done for you or with you...... And...."
Type Shook his head.
"It's..... Because we are friends.... He has made that.... quit clear...."
Moishe stopped them to look to type.
"You need..... To start paying real close attention and really read between those lines, I've started to do the same, and trust me..... The end result.....'
Moishe looked up to see dursten, he looked to him has he passed to smirk, he smiled back.
Type looked to him.
"The end results are what?"
He looked to type.
"Everything you could ever want. Listen, this fake dating your doing, doesn't seem to be working, try being single for awhile, let him. Come to you."
Types eyes darted to shrug..
"I..... Think your wrong......"
Moishe patted his back to leave, turning his back to eye, waking backwards.
"If I were you, id try it.....or just keep this up,  and nothing happens..... Maybe it really is about the sex then and you don't really love him..... Just my suggestion type.....see yea...."
He turned to go to class.
Types eyes widen to then look down to play with his fingers.
It's not..... About the sex......I had these feelings way before we..... Practise or experimented..... And now this...... But...... What moishe said can't be true..... Can it..... Tharn..... Loves me?
"Read between the lines." Came into types head.
Taking a deep breathe, he turned, to go to class.
Maybe..... He's right....but last time I thought tharn might actually loved me, it...... Never came true..... He denied me when we drank at age 15, then the next day, he didn't care that I went out with moko.....
Type signed to go to class, confused, sitting next to tharn, he placed his back pack down, to place his head on his hand to look forward, things swirled about.
Looking to the side, tharn placed the bag of candy to the desk.
"What....."
"I got them for you, you know I don't like sour. I..... Really am sorry for Friday type..... Can you...... Tell me about this..... Actual truth th....."
Type turned his head to eye tharn.
"Type?"
"If....I do.... Will you tell me.... What you were going to say 6 years ago before I....."
Tharn turned his head to look to the teacher seeing up a bit peeved.
"Never mind...."
Type looked him over, then what Moishe said crossed his mind again, read between the lines.
"So....... Are you and..... moishe dating type?"
Type turned his head slowly to look to the teacher.
"Mmm...... No."
Tharns head went up a bit to then turn to eye type.
"No? But you two.... Looked really....."
Type signed..
"Not everyone I bump into I'm going to date tharn! I'm...... Going to.... Try to Stay single for a bit and....." He whispered under his breathe.
Turning his head, he saw tharn gather his back pack to then leave. Type watched him go, to furrow his eye brows, he signed sadly.
Moishe......I think your wrong..... Very wrong..... Maybe for tharn...... It's all about the sex now..... maybe..... That's all he wants......
A lone tear rolled down, type wiped it away to look to the teacher.
In the bathroom, tharn placed the back pack to the floor, to have himself hunched over the sink, hands to the edge looking down.
He..... Can't be single..... Just can't be.... Then we..... Will only see the other at school and that's it...... He won't come to my place anymore.......I was working up, for him to stay the weekends like before........
Fuck! What am I......
Turning his head, an idea came across.
That...... Could work......
These past 2 months, we have...... Been.... Close like we used to be.....even closer.....I...... Don't want to give that up.....I won't! The sex has been irrelevant, that is not what I'm truly after, it is an added bonus but.....ugh.....I know I should just tell him how I feel, tell him I....... Lost my...To him, highly doubt he would believe me, unless I told him my...... Dark ish secret..... but.... but.......
Shaking his head, he gathered his back pack, thinking of his plan and hoping it was going to work, he just couldn't be fully honest with type, they both couldn't be that way with the other, has they were in this confused "friendship."