The Bars Between Us

46. A Broken Lion

Roman sits down in the seat opposite me, pushing the hot chocolate toward me.

It's not a particularly cold day, but upon entering Quincy Market, Roman immediately walked to the stall that we came to on our first date. It's a little coffee shop that has been here since the dawn of time, it seems. It's been around since we were young at least, and the family who owns it have never changed, apart from growing older.

Roman had looked at me, hoping to see a pleased or reminiscent reaction, but the only reaction he got, was one of protest. I could see what he was trying to do. He was trying to sweet-talk me, get back into my good graces. Although Roman has seemingly turned over a new leaf, the demanding, or rather the now politely persistent, nature hasn't changed. Even with the change, I could see in his eyes that he wasn't going to take 'no' for an answer, and the man I'm used to making an appearance for only a second. He regathered himself and took back his insistence, but the damage was already done, and I felt obligated to agree. I reluctantly accept the hot chocolate.

Today has been mostly me following Roman, and what he wants to do, and even though he's not abusing me, I don't know if it's any better. I don't even know if I can spend a whole day with him.

"I would say we could get lunch here, but it's not really time for lunch..."

"It's fine," I assure, playing with the ridged cardboard, the warmth making my fingers tingle.

Roman sighs, contemplating his next words. "Aphrodite, I truly am sorry."

I only acknowledge him with a slight humming noise, but quickly amend it, afraid of Roman changing his mind about being nice to me. He would only use it against me. "Thank you."

"I know I've hurt you repeatedly over the years, and there's nothing that I can say that will truly forgive that, but I hope that moving forward my actions will show you that I do in fact mean it."

A shout from someone down on the ground level calling to their family draws my attention. If Roman were to shout, people would hear.

We're in a public place, and he's shown no sign of going back on his word, so what he could he possibly do to me. If he gets angry, I'll just leave. And if he does, by some off chance, hurt me, then I'm able to say I tried to tell him.

"You have said this to me before, Roman, countless times. How am I supposed to trust you now?"

"I know," Roman says, putting across an expression of sadness and regret. "I hope I can prove it to you." His eyes meet mine, and he looks sincere. But I know from experience that he can easily turn up his sincerity at will, even if he isn't feeling that way.

"Ro," I say, hoping that the term of endearment will help calm him. "You have to understand that I'm a bit hesitant about taking your word. What's to say that in three weeks, you won't go back on your word, and return to all of the abuse...?" He looks shocked at the word 'abuse'. He must have realized he was abusing me, by now! "I just have to take your word for it, and I'll only find out if I made the right decision as time goes on, and I don't want to constantly be on tenterhooks the rest of my life." Everything that I've wanted to say to him has spilled out of me all at once, and there's no stopping it now.

"No," he states, his voice coming out wrecked. Tears well in his eyes, and against my better instinct I reach across the table lay my hand on his, to reassure him. "Please don't leave me." His voice is so small and weak, and it wrenches at my insides. I assume the next thing he says to be a repetition of the pleading, but I can't be sure because it's masked by a sob. I clutch onto his hand tighter. Has he just been having a hard time, since losing his father? Is he just the same broken teenager who was on his knees in my front yard? Is he just angry at life? For the first time, I can almost understand why Roman acts like he does, but does it forgive it all?

Roman rests his head on my head, his shoulders moving with his sobs. I hear a ringing from one of our phones, but I ignore it, too preoccupied with seeing my broken abuser in front of me.

I realised that I could also post this part, as I missed the post last week. I hope you liked it!

What did you think?

Do you think Roman is genuine, and do you think his father explains/excuses it?

What do you want to/think will happen next?

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CC ;)