Oc Reviews! (Closed For Now)

Tomiko Koemi

Hello there my little rodents! Firstly I would like to thank KittyYukiMoon for letting me review their character! Secondly, thank you, reader, for clicking on my book, I really hope you appreciate it and keep on reading my chapters to come! <3

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Fandom: Demon slayer

Name: Tomiko Koemi

Nickname: Unknown

Nothing wrong here.

Age: 20

Sex: Female

This is ok, but you forgot to put what her species is. Is she purely human? Purely demon? or both? You also forgot to put her ethnicity and nationality. Just because it takes place in Japan, and because of her name I'm just going to assume her ethnicity is Japanese and her Nationality is Japan.

Orientation: Heterosexual 

Relationship status: single

Crush: Giyuu

I don't see a problem with her having a crush on him, as he is 19 and she is 20. My problem comes later...

Personality: She is well disciplined and impulsive. She is also helpful and trusting. She is a good listener to her peers and brings up really good points. She is also an anxious person despite her explosive personality. She is also loving and fun to hang out with. She is rather too like Rengoku but aggressive like Shinagusawa-san.

I think the impulsive trait is kind of random, you don't really justify putting it there, like giving a reason as to why she is impulsive. I also think you should go into more details about her personality.

Hobbies: she eats humans.

Wut

Habits: she loves to smoke and drink tea

This is fine.

Likes: human flesh, her hair, Giyuu, her son, and kimonos

Dislike: brats, annoying people, and herself

Nowhere have you mentioned anything that she likes any of these except for Giyuu. You also never mentioned that she was a demon or a cannibal. Also, you never mention that she dislikes herself. Lastly, you need to add more likes and dislikes because she is sounding kind of bland.

Strengths: she is good at controlling her fire abilities and in combat as she a trained demon slayer.

Wait so is she a demon slayer turned demon? I am very confused.

Weakness: Sunlight

Goal: to follow Muzans orders

So it's only now that we are establishing that she is a demon. At the end of your character bio. And we barely even know anything about her. This is a huge problem.

Accessories: she has earnings 

Mental disorder: she shows trauma after she lost her baby to her husband who abused her.

Family: None alive.

Her losing her baby is another thing that you failed to mention before. You also don't have a backstory that could bring all of this together, but since you didn't write a backstory, we are just left confused about Tomiko.

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Thank you so much KittyYukiMoon for letting me review your character. Personally, I think you need to work on Tomiko. I think she has strengths that could make her a compelling character like her demon slayer training, but you left so much out that nothing really makes sense. My advice would be to take Tomiko, and either continue to write her or completely re-write so that everything makes sense together. Also, give her a backstory because it definitely helps. I'm not saying all of this to criticize you personally but Tomiko just needs everything to make sense together. And, thank you guys, the readers, so so much for reading my book! Subscribe to my profile for more updates on the chapter and other books, vote for this chapter if you really liked it and if you want, go ahead and drop your on OC in the "Form" chapter, which is the very first one. I will do what I can to review your OC and give you as much honest advice as possible. That's that Space Cats <3