Oc Reviews! (Closed For Now)

Arya Benitez

Hello there my little rodents! Firstly I would like to thank for letting me review their character! Secondly, thank you, reader, for clicking on my book, I really hope you appreciate it and keep on reading my chapters to come! <3

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Fandom: original

Name: Arya (pronounced: Aria) Benitez

I really like the name Arya.

Nicknames: Ary 

 Age: Between 13-14 years old

Nothing wrong here.

Sex: Female

Sexual orientation: lesbian

Relationship status: Single (for now, because I'm working on her love interest)

This all is fine to me.

Species: Human

Eye color: dark green

Hair color: light brown (she kinda dyes it later on to purple and dark blue)

Skin color: between white and brown

Birthmarks: ???

I would nail down a skin color becuase there are a lot of shades between white skin and brown skin.

Height: (too lazy to search it up) a bit shorter for a 14 year old girl

Weight: she's not overweight and she's not too skinny, just average for a teenage girl

I would try and come up with a proportional height and weight for your OC because it will make it easier to visualize her.

Personality: she's creative, reckless, smart and ambitious. Although she can be pretty stubborn and antisocial from time-to-time. She also can get jealous easily. She also daydreams when she's in class most of the time.

I like her personality, just try and out more detail into it because this is very very important.

Hobbies: drawing, being reckless, taking care of her three younger siblings and sometimes one of her older brothers. Plays ukelele and sings to herself, she hates it when she gets caught singing (but that'll change while her story continues).

I like her hobbies, but make sure there is a reason for her hobbies.

Likes: singing, playing her ukelele, not being ignored, science, when her siblings aren't annoying, chocolate, donuts, pizza

Dislikes: her younger siblings (most of the time), getting caught singing (it embarrasses her), math class, performing on stage (that changes in the story she's in), garlic (extremely allergic), when she has to fight with her siblings over the remote for the TV 

I like her likes and dislikes, just make sure there is a reason for these likes and dislikes, like is their a significant reason that she like donuts and pizza? Or is there a reason why she doesn't like math class?

Powers: none

Strengths: her creative ideas, being able to see all angles of a situation, being able to read her siblings like books (she knows them all very well)

Weaknesses: she's the middle child, which means sometimes people only know her as the 'middle child'. She is bad at math sometimes, Can get distracted in class (because she draws in class)Nationality: American 

I like the strengths and weaknesses that are here, just try and add a few more.

Family: • Gabriel Benitez (dad)• Delilah Benitez (mom)• Felix Benitez (oldest brother| twin)• Leah Benitez (older sister|twin) • Daniel Benitez (older brother)• Mackenzie Benitez (younger sister| triplet)• Peter Benitez (younger brother| triplet)• Tobias (Toby) Benitez (youngest brother|triplet) • ??? Benitez (they aren't born yet in the story until later on) 

  I like her family, but I feel like you need to describe her relationship with each of the family members.

Friends:• Melany Camille (next door neighbor)• Julia Harrington • Victoria 'Vicki' McNamara (love interest)• Trevor Thompson • Brandon Gutierrez 

I think you need to do the same thing as the family members.

Enemies:• the math teacher • Hannah Valentine (Arya kinda embarrassed her, so Thad a reason)• some kids of the neighborhood • one of Leah's boyfriends named Hector (he was pretty toxic, Leah brakes up with him in a point of the story, so)

Same thing as Family and Friends. You need it especially in this section because knowing why your OC is enemies with other characters is important. You also need to be detailed.

Fears: Being left behind by her older siblings (when the older siblings go to college), not being able to prove herself to her parents that she is growing up (they treat her as a 10 year old, she's almost 14) 

Physical illness: none

Mental illness: none(?)

You need to explain why she is afraid of these things in her backstory becuase you did not do that.

Clothing: she just wears what any teen would wear, a normal t-shirt with short jeans and sneakersAccessories: None, Maybe? 

I think you need to go into more details with her clothing. Everyone has their own sense of style like you can describe the colors that she wears often. If she dressed in pastels, readers would view her differnetly then if she wore all black.

Backstory: she's a pretty average girl if you exclude the fact that she has a lot of siblings. Her dad is a lawyer so that's how they to feed all those mouths in the household and her mom is a waitress, but she is sorta underpaid so most of the money is from the dad. The older three siblings have a different dad but he and Arya's mom divorced. So yeah, 'normal'. The kids also get into a bunch of trouble together, so that's what they all have in common 

You need to put a lot more into this backstory. And all of this could go into the family section. We learn very little about your Arya specifically in this backstory so you need to work on this.

Extra: Arya got her parents to adopt a stray puppy retriever and the triplets decided to call the puppy 'Hawk' for some reason, the older 4 just agreed because they didn't want to start a big fat sibling argument 

Inspiration: A bit of the series 'Stuck in the middle' (the plot is way different, i didn't copy paste it), 'Liv and Maddie' and a bit of 'Bunk'd'

I like the extra and inspiration behind your character.

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I want to thank TheatherGeek101 for letting me review your character. With some detailing and explaining I think Arya could be a really good character. And, thank you guys, the readers, so so much for reading my book! Subscribe to my profile for more updates on chapter and other books, vote this chapter if you really liked it and if you want, go ahead and drop your on OC in the "Form" chapter, which is the very first one. I will do what I can to review your OC and give you as much honest advice as possible. That's that Space Cats <3