Memories (BoyxBoy)

I won't give up on us

September 2, 2009

It's been sixteen days since Jace began chemotherapy. To say it's been a rough couple weeks is putting it lightly. The doctors say that he'll have to continue the course of treatment for at least the next three months depending on how well his body takes to it. And how the tumour reacts to the therapy. He has to return to the hospital every three weeks for about three to four days of treatment. When he isn't at the hospital for treatment or continuous examinations and check-ups, he's at home exhausted and having to take tablets as an extension of the therapy.

Due to the tumour being directly on his right lung, they don't want to resort to surgery if they don't have to. Being at a lower stage, they hope that the combined chemo therapy treatments will be enough to kill the cancerous cells or at least return him to remission.

As you may assume, Jace's body has been affected harshly by the chemicals being pumped into his body. His beautiful black locks have mostly gone, his skin has lost any colour it had, he's often fatigued and his body can't handle much strenuous activity. He had walked to pick me up from work one day (even though I warned him not to) and nearly had another severe fit. He ended up having to be on bed rest for the next day and a half.

Jace's stubborn behaviour is worrying the hell out of me and I just wish he'd listen and stop trying to act like he's okay. His pride is getting in the way of him healing and it's putting a lot of strain on our relationship because I keep scolding him for pushing himself too hard and then he scolds me for treating him like a helpless child.

I sigh out loud as I turn to look out the car window, causing the radio to be turned down and another sigh to follow mine, "What's up, Kai? Come on, we've been driving around for an hour and you haven't said a word."

I don't say anything for a couple moments, but then turn to Jared and shake my head sadly, "I just don't know what to do for him. He's miserable and when I try to care for him, he gets frustrated with me. If I let him do what he wants though, he's just going to hurt himself! He is hurting himself."

"Kai, you need to see this from his point of view. He's used to being the strong one, the one people look up to for help. He hates receiving pity and being looked down on. Why do you think he wanted to get away from his parents so bad?He doesn't like being told to sit back and let others do things for him. He needs to work through this on his own, and all you can do is stand by him and support him," Leah says from the back seat.

She had been released from the hospital three days ago and I'm proud to say she's doing quite good. She hasn't had a single incident since the time I caught her in the bathroom over a month ago. Living with Zoe has done wonders for her as well. Rhys and Kyle have practically taken her in as their own and being around them will be great for her. I know this from experience.Not to mention, I love seeing my two best girlfriends becoming so close. Zoe even mentioned Zaq setting Leah up with his cousin Tess.

"I know... but, what if he pushes himself too far? He looked out for me the whole time I was working through my depression, he helped me quit drinking, eat properly,sleep better. He helped me get through everything and now that he needs help, I feel so confused as to what the hell I'm supposed to do! I mean, he made it look so easy, but caring for someone who doesn't realize he needs help isn't easy! I feel helpless and I hate it," I confess, leaning back to look at Leah in the rear view mirror.

"Kai, I don't know why on earth you ask for advice when all you do is argue against it, " She sighs. "Just do what charlie said. Do what you can and hope for the best. He's done it before, clearly he knew what you'd face, so that's just what you're going to have to accept and do. You can't have the answer for everything. Some things just aren't able to be fixed. You just have to deal with it."