When Love Walked In

Chapter 28

Chapter 28

            "I'll never accept it!" I said. "I don't love you!"

            "Amber, that's enough."

            "No, papa! If you agree to this then clearly you don't love me enough!"

            "Amber, it's because I love you that I'm doing this," he said quietly. "I'm only looking out for you."

            "Papa," I said. "Do you really think that I won't be capable of finding my own happiness?"

            "No," he started to protest.

            "Then why? Why do you feel it necessary to arrange anything for me?" I cried. A sob was hiding in the back of my throat, waiting to come out. "Do you not trust me?"

            "Of course I trust you!" He said loudly, his tone suggesting his patience. He swiped a hand across his face and blinked his weary eyes. "It's just . . ."

            "Just what?" I prompted. "The fact that I'm soiled?"

            Both my parents gave me outraged looks. "Amber!"

            "It's the truth isn't it?!" I looked at my father. "I'm dirty, no good. That's why your family stopped coming to visit. Don't deny it, I know it's true! I know how disgusted they are. They can't even bear to look at me. No one can."

            Ky took a step forward. "I can."

            I looked at him, a sad smile pasted on my lips. "You say that now, but you won't always feel that way."

            "And you think your boyfriend is going to stay with you forever?" he asked.

            "No," I said, even as the words made it difficult to breathe. "But, as long as I have this now, as long as I'm happy, I'll have something meaningful to look back on when things change in the future."

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            "Do you really believe that?"

            I turned to Gustavo from my desk, where my laptop was starting up. "What?"

            "What you said earlier, about Damien and there not being a future for you two?" Gustavo asked.

            "Oh." I turned back to the laptop to type in my password, finding comfort in the sound of the keys on the keyboard ringing in my ear. "Well, nothing lasts forever."

            "Yes, but no relationship is easy. You know that, right?"

            "Yes, but, I don't know. It's complicated."

            "Is it? Really." I turned back to look at him sitting on my bed, flipping through a magazine. "Are you sure it's just complicated? Maybe you're afraid to commit."

            I pulled on the sleeves of my hoodie, letting their warmth envelop my shivering fingers. "Of course I'm afraid. At any moment, he could just decide he doesn't want to do this anymore."

            "Amber, you know he wouldn't do that," Gustavo said, eerily repeating what Taylor tried to reassure me of once.

            I shrugged and tried changing the subject. "I think Damien's dad hates me."