When Love Walked In

Chapter 15

 Chapter 15

            That night I dreamed. I remembered . . . that night in Paris.

            I left the party without telling anyone. Not Amanda. Not the guards. Not even my parents. I knew that if I stayed there any longer, I would have gone crazy. So many people in one place with bright lights and limited air space. I needed fresh air. I needed to be able to breathe again. As I walked the streets back to our hotel, I felt the weight of my parents press down heavily on my shoulders. Being as that I am their only child, it’s only natural that they would see me as the successor of my father’s company. But I’m not cut out as being the center of attention; going out and socializing with new people; being a leader. I can’t even stand in a room filled with watchful eyes without wanting to throw up. 

            If I hadn’t been so preoccupied with my own thoughts and paid more attention to where I was walking, maybe I would have noticed. If I hadn’t been so stupid to leave without telling anyone, maybe someone would have come with me. If I hadn’t kept my eyes on the ground, maybe I could have prevented the arms from behind wrapping around my neck and the cloth from reaching my mouth. Maybe if I had fought harder, I could have screamed loud enough for someone to hear. If I hadn’t been daydreaming, maybe I would have noticed them come from the shadows, not there before. If I hadn’t been so stupid, maybe I could have saved myself.

_________________________________________________________

            The monsters inside my head wouldn’t go away. I didn’t want Damien to know about Tristan. Tristan was different from the others. He was only three years older than I was but he was only kind in the in a cruel way. He was the most violent of them all. He said he had to make sure “he put on a good show for the others” so they wouldn’t see him as weak. He would apologize for hurting me. He would force his affection onto me. He was convinced we were soul mates and that he loved me. He said we would run away together like Romeo and Juliet. But I didn’t love him. I was afraid of him, and when that knife was in my hand, each time I stabbed him, I remembered how he tricked me, manipulated me, brainwashed me into thinking he was somehow different and that I could trust him when he was the biggest monster of them all. Roles were switched in those last moments before the police had finally found me. How they did it I’ll never know.

            Now every time I close my eyes, I can see him jumping out at me from the shadows. I can see his two-faced personality. His kind smile while holding me gently and his devil smile as he pushes me down the stairs. I can see him now, reaching out to me. I screamed as loud as humanely possible and struggled to be from his grasp. In my dream, objects appear at random and I fling them aimlessly in an attempt to keep him far away. I’m stabbing at thin air, screaming until my throat is raw.

        Someone grabs onto my shoulders and I struggle wildly. “No! Let me go!” I screamed.

        “It’s just a dream, Amber! Calm down, you’re safe!” This person doesn’t want to hurt me but that doesn’t calm me. My eyes open to pitch black and I scream even louder.

         New voices are mixed and my breaths come in short gasps, struggling for life support. A soothing voice reaches out to me. “Amber. You’re safe. No one can hurt you now. Not ever again.” I can see a light in the distance and as I reach out for it, my pulse slows to a steady pace.

_______________________________________________________________