The Protector (Terrell Clarricoates FanFiction)

Chapter 4

*Trigger Warning: panic attack*

My breath catches in my throat. It felt like someone just kicked me in the gut and knocked the wind out of my. I don't know how to process this information. One of the mafia leaders my dad works with, is trying to get to me. And for what? I don't even want to think about it. I just can't seem to wrap my head around this information. I think I need to sit down. 

My wobbly legs barely get me inside the house before plopping down on the couch. I have my head in my hands when I hear my dad and Terrell walk into the living room where I am at. I look up from my lap and flash a them a frightened look.

"Don't worry honey, I won't let anything happen to you. You see this is the reason I hired you a bodyguard, so he can protect you."

"He's gonna have to go through me first if he want's to get to you," says Terrell with a look of pure anger in his eyes. I give them both a weak smile before running up the stairs to my room. I quickly close the door behind me and I slide down against it. I sit there for a few minutes before I feel myself getting hot. I get up off the floor and open my window. That does nothing for me, so I go inside my bathroom to splash some water on my face. All of a sudden my vision gets blurry. I try rubbing it away, but it does nothing. Then my breathing starts getting faster and faster. I realize I am hyperventilating. 

I'm having a panic attack. My breathing gets shorter and I'm breathing in little puffs of air. My vision is blurry, making it hard for me to see properly. My chest also feels tight, like someone is sitting on me. It feels like I'm dying.  I try screaming for help, but I can't get any words out. I start to panic even more, making my breathing even harder. I fall to the floor sobbing, hoping to god that this ends soon. As I'm laying on the floor sobbing, I see a figure from the corner of my eye. I realize that it's Terrell. I suddenly feel his strong hands grab hold of my arms and prop me up against the cabinets. 

"Hey, hey it's ok. Shh, your ok. This will end soon I promise. Just look into my eyes." I do everything in my will power to try and concentrate on Terrell. His beautiful blue and brown eyes draw me in, almost making me forget- for a split second- that I am having a panic attack. After a few more minutes of Terrell comforting me, I finally start to calm down. Terrell reaches his hand out to me to wipe the hair from my face, which is full of sweat. I can feel myself blushing again, which makes me turn my head away from him. Then I let out a huge yawn. That's when I feel myself being picked up.

Terrell gently places me on my bed and manages to pull the covers up over me. He sits on the chair that is next to my bed and props his chin on his hands. We sit in silence for what seemed like ages, until I choose to break it.

"Thank you for being there for me. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have someone to help me through that."

"I'm just glad your feeling better. Those are pretty brutal."

"How did you know what I was going through?"

"For being a bodyguard, you see some pretty brutal stuff. I looked after some people throughout the years who have also had panic attacks. I've even had a few myself, so I definitely know how you feel. Hey, is this your mom?" asked Terrell, as he picks up a framed photo of me and my mom.

"Yeah, it is."

"She's very beautiful."

"She was wasn't she?"

"Was? What happened?"

"She got shot. Both my parents worked in the mafia, more so my dad than my mom. She would stay at home all day looking after me. When she got calls from the mafia saying she had to go in, only then would she leave me to go help out dad. She'd always call over babysitters she knew she trusted. She didn't tell them about the mafia though, so as not to put them in danger. 

"It was in the middle of the night when the babysitter got the call from my dad. He said that he wouldn't be home till morning. Morning came and the babysitter left, leaving me and my dad alone. He told me what happened and I burst out crying. I was only eight then." I start to feel hot tears fall down my face as I'm telling the story. 

"It's never good news to hear when you've just been told that your mother was murdered. My dad said he didn't get a good look at the guy who shot her. He thinks it might have been one of the mafia leaders men. But one thing was clear, he vowed to himself that he would not let anybody lay a hand on me, ever. If he so much as thinks they are a threat, he will kill them. Bodyguards don't count though, as long as he trust's them." At that remark, I could see Terrell give a smile from under his mask. I start to feel drowsy from all the talking that I did, and close my eyes shut. Terrell gets the hint and proceeds to get up from the chair. I think for a second that Terrell had already left, but right when I thought this, he leans down and gives me a kiss on the forehead. I form a smile on my face, hoping he doesn't see.

"Goodnight. I'll be in the other room if you need me." And with that, Terrell exits out of my room.