Wildly Acceptable

Days in the Life of a Mourning Carrot

~June~

Charlie and I have been dating for a week and a half now and it feels... different. Not bad! Just really different from how it was with Gilbert, and even Johnny. This feels more calculated. And more like a show. Like Charlie is Romeo and I'm Juliet, but I'm constantly looking for the script to make sure I say the right line. The only time we feel normal is when we were studying together and soon that's going to be over because the End-of-Year exams are in two days.

For my friends, failing this test would put them on academic probation, meaning next year they can't participate in anything until they retake the test and pass. For me, failing means expulsion. And that is a fact I never let myself dwell on. Until now. That and the fact that rehearsals have been paused for the exams and I have barely spoken to Gilbert or Diana since Charlie and I started. We've all been semi-busy, but I know that's not the only reason.

I walked out of my bedroom with Clover on my tail, and in the kitchen Marilla was at the table looking through some papers. I sat next to her and began to read one, "What are all these bills for?" She sighed and adjusted her reading glasses, "Everything. The farm, the apartment, all of it." My heart sunk a little, "And we're behind on all of them?" Marilla nodded and sent my heart straight to the earth's core. "Didn't the lawyer say that Matthew's will and life insurance leaves us enough to cover this stuff?"

"He is not gone yet!" Marilla stared straight at me. I sighed, "The doctors gave us a choice and he hasn't gotten any better. Even if he did they said the cost to keep him healthy would be a lot. More than we can handle, Marilla we have to let him go." At this point tears were running down my cheeks. The thought of having to let Matthew go is the most sickening, especially knowing that this past year with the big change in schools I haven't spent much time with him. I'd be letting go of someone who I haven't had a full and meaningful conversation with in months. If my heart could drop any further it would.

"Marilla keeping him at this point isn't for him, it's for us and it's selfish. He is in the hospital suffering and he will continue to if we don't let him go. The "if" that he will wake up, is a big one and it's getting harder and harder the longer we stall. We need to." I looked up to meet her eyes, which at this point were no longer behind her glasses and filled with tears and sorrow. She checked the time on her phone, 10:23 am, "Let's not stall any longer." She stood and grabbed my hand. I took a deep breath and nodded.

The hospital had a different vibe this time.  As though it knew what we were here for. After talking to the doctors we were each given time to say our goodbyes. I walked in first and I didn't know what to say to him. Seeing him there pale, and lifeless, almost lifeless. Knowing he doesn't know the real me anymore. I sat in the chair and decided to tell him everything. From the moment I walked into my school for the first time, to my first kiss with Gilbert. And even the major falling out with him and Diana, my mini Christmas romance, and the Avonlea trip. Even what I'm going though now. I told him that I will cry him for only a second because I know he hates for me to be sad, but that I will miss him forever. I told him that I will keep Marilla safe and keep her healthy so I'm not a completely orphaned again, he would've loved that joke. I gave him a kiss on his cheek as I've always done and whispered "Goodbye, I love you."

~

Jane's POV

We've all been tiptoeing around Anne for a couple days now. Not in a bad way, more like a keep her mind off of Matthew way. Initially, Diana, Gilbert, and I just sat with her for hours. She didn't cry or say anything, she just sat there. We did the same, and I don't think she needed anymore from us than just being there. At least, that's what I hope. Now we've been making sure she's absolutely prepared for the exams. Gilbert had gone over Monday and Tuesday after school, and yesterday Diana and I went over and ran through flash cards we'd made for her.

I walked onto the train and saw Anne sitting in one of the two-seaters, "Test Day" she said wearily, as I sat next to her. I nodded, "Yeah, we're all going to do amazing." I've been saying this repeatedly because if I'm being honest, my primary form of studying is manifestation.

I am capable.
I am capable.
I am capable.
I am capable.
I am capable.
I am capable.
I am capable.
I am capable.
I am capable.

I looked at Anne who was on her phone swiping through pages of apps. "So," I placed my hand on my leg to steady the shaking I was apparently doing, "After exams today, we get out early. Wanna go get Korean corndogs?" She shrugged, "Sure."

About and hour later we were in the test room and honestly, only half of what was on the test made sense to me, and that was just the multiple choice... imagine the essay. "Alright class you have a 5 minute break," said our proctor, Ms. Hale. We all got up and walked around the class.

I maneuvered my way to Tilly, "Korean corndogs?" She smiled, "Of course! I'd never deny them." Everyone was on board, now the question was do I invite Ruby. I love her, but this year she's been difficult. I shrugged of that feeling and made my way to her, "Hey Rubes," She gave me a small smile, "Um, today after school we're going to get Korean corndogs. Wanna come?" Her smile grew slightly bigger, "Yeah, sure!"

K-Dogs here we come!